Thursday, November 27th 2008

Happy Thanksgiving, Sluts!

Before you get too wasted to make out the words on the screen, I want to wish all of you whores a very Happy Thanksgiving(and receiving) Day. Yes, it's an American holiday, but everyone can celebrate. It's easy! Just get mega drunk, yell at your family members for not understanding you and then pass out in front of the TV. After you black out for a few hours, wake up at 3am, eat cold stuffing which has been sitting out on the kitchen counter and then make yourself another cocktail with Martinelli's from the kid's table and gin (the vodka will probably be all gone). See, anyone can do it!

I also want to take a little time out to give thanks to the most 5 most important things in my life this year:

Chicken Cutlets - Without her, I wouldn't get my daily allowance of poultry and cheese.
The Empress of Lucite - Without her, I wouldn't know what true glamour really is.
Rojo Caliente - Without her, I wouldn't know what natural beauty looks like.
The Puppy Cam - Without them, I wouldn't know how to love.
And all of you whores!!! - Awww. I know. Let's all uncomfortably hug while giving each other the side-eye. I will drink a few bottles of Asti Spumante in your honor tonight!

Happy Booze and Barf day everyone!!

(Image VIA Flickr)

Posted by: Michael K


Submitted by Flatsy on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:04am.
Help! I made cranberry sauce last night

A few more days without refrigeration, and you'll have "hard" cranberry sauce.

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“It’s kind of cool to just leave the narrative what it is. People are stoked or pissed or whatever. And you’re like, you know what, I don’t think anyone really has the real story.”

JaneDoe's picture

Happy thanksgiving to ya MK and all the dlisted hos!!
I am thankful for MK and the dlisters, you are the ones who keep me smile even on my worst day (I mean it)
I am thankful for my husband, he just got back from Iraq!! and last night he found that nothing better than a wild turkey to celebrate Thanksgiving...in fact he is still sleeping right now lol. Happy thanksgiving to hubby. Boy I never realized I missed the sound of him farting in the middle of the night until last night

it just the two of us because our daughter is at her mom's house (she's my step daughter but love her like my daughter) so it's pretty much me and all of you today :)
LOVE YOU ALL!

mike's picture

Oh, he was a rat bastard for sure. My favorite story about him is when he played William Tell with his wife in Mexico.

A Thanksgiving Prayer, but William S. Burroughs

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4212204341571541144

Fifi La Rue's picture

Happy Thanksgiving to all the Yanks and happy Thursday to the rest of us :)

KaosAndMe's picture

Happy Thanksgiving to all you American sluts!
I am thankful for DListed, Michael K, and everyone who comments here for entertaining me on a daily ( hourly??) basis!
Have a safe holiday.

Jan_In_The_Pan's picture

Happy Turkey Day to all who celebrate it. (We're taking a pass this year which means no dried bird meat and no annoying relatives. So it's a win X two! And for that we are truly thankful.)

The C word's picture

Submitted by mike on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:06am.
A Thanksgiving Prayer, but William S. Burroughs
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I watched a documentary on Joy Division last night and one of the former members told a story about how (lead singer) Ian Curtis went to a Burroughs book signing, hoping that Burroughs would give him one of his books for free.
As the story goes, Burroughs told him to f*ck off.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Who are the people in your neighbourhood?

christine the hoff's picture

Submitted by Flatsy on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:04am.

it will be fine.
don't try that with meat or eggs, however.

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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."

Flatsy's picture

Thanks Mike, I hope so.
It's just berries, water & sugar.

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She's flat and that's that!

Farrah's picture

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 9:48am.

Mazel Tov! blessed indeed.
ok, since we're playing "what we're grateful for", here's my list:

-Mah amazing and wonderful BOO. The best thing that has happened to me in the longest time.
-My crazy ass parents, aging and still doing hoot rat shit. And my brother. Lazy ass, but thank G'd his diabetes is under control.
-My pets.
YOU AND MK!
every day we come here and talk shit and make fun of stupid celebrities, but you are ALL a true blessing.
Have a wonderful day. Remember the ones in need, and the lonely ones. And all of those who have not been blessed as you have.
*muah*
to all!
*******************************************
And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?

NitWitty's picture

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 9:48am.
*********************
Congrats, ISMU. Much love and many blessings to you and yours.
Now, quit acting like you just gave birth, and get out in the kitchen!

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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.

FilthyBitch's picture

Love you MK! Have a drink for me.
And Happy Thanksgiving to all you regular sluts that post here - you keep me entertained every day.
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HAHA IM USING THE INTERNETZ!!1!!!!!1!

joanne's picture

Happy Thanksgiving All.

mike's picture

Submitted by Flatsy on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:04am.

I'm not sure what else is in your cranberry sauce, but I'm pretty sure it's fine.

A Thanksgiving Prayer, but William S. Burroughs

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4212204341571541144

ClooneyisMahBoo's picture

Happy Thanksgiving, you trash box trashy HOOKAS. Love all of ya!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When you're driving down the street with your hook hand and its shininess reflects off the sun and temporarily blinds you, causing you to crash into a tree, you'll think of Monifa.
~M.K.

lizzieb's picture

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 9:58am.

Ahhhhh, lovely. Well done.

*******************************************
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation

Flatsy's picture

Help! I made cranberry sauce last night and left it out to cool before refrigerating. I fell asleep & forgot about it, so it was out for like 8 hours.
Should I serve it or not? My kitchen is really cold.

Thanks,
Flatsy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She's flat and that's that!

christine the hoff's picture

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 9:48am.

what a beautiful family you all make. God bless and keep you all, have a wonderful day!
xoxoxox

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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."

Deb's picture

smooch, Farrah!

"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"

The Fly's picture

I wish I was American.

---
Help me!

Deb's picture

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 9:58am.

Congrats, ISU! Ronan is beautiful! How you feeling?

"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"

The C word's picture

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 9:48am.
Happy Thanksgiving, MK and to the rest of you lovelies.

This year, I'm thankful for my crazy boys, including our Tugboat who is two days old and currently getting his first dose of Dlisted while he sleeps on my chest. :)

Have a wonderful holiday, all.
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Congratulations ISMU; nice to have you here Tugboat!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Who are the people in your neighbourhood?

MK makes my life complete. Let us now give thanks.

~yeah. like that~

Farrah's picture

Submitted by Deb on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 9:56am.
Cheers, Farrah! I call it my "harkens back". I've got some herniated disks that cause spasms all up my back and then killer headaches.
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oh, dear, that's so painful and yet you worked like crazy.
Deb, take care of yourself, beesh. There are some Dlisters we can't do without.*wink*

*******************************************
And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?

Dallas's picture

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Be well!

Eat, drink and pretend to be happy.

Deb's picture

Thanks, Sibsi! have a wonderful day, doll!

Do you think MK will have anything else for us today, or is the cute kitten going to be it?

"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"

ISprainedMyUvula's picture

CtheH- Happy Tday to you and yours.

Here's my myspace if anybody wants to check out baby pics.

http://www.myspace.com/jnazmom

****
I didn't hit you. I simply high-fived your face.

Sibsi's picture

@Deb, /comfort.

I'm hoping I'm able to return home soon today, so I can just shoot the breeze here and enjoy a quiet day off.

Definitely thankful for MK and for the D-Listed fam :)

______________________________
My other gig

My other hangout

Deb's picture

Cheers, Farrah! I call it my "harkens back". I've got some herniated disks that cause spasms all up my back and then killer headaches.
I have my own landscaping company, and I totally over-did it this year. Next year I have to hire some help.
Poor me, poor me, pour me another glass of wine!

Dlisted and pot help me a lot more than physical therapy!

"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"

christine the hoff's picture

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 9:48am.
Happy Thanksgiving, MK and to the rest of you lovelies.

This year, I'm thankful for my crazy boys, including our Tugboat who is two days old and currently getting his first dose of Dlisted while he sleeps on my chest. :)

Have a wonderful holiday, all.

WOW
that just teared my up in my black heart!!!
happy thanksgiving indeed!
xoxoxoxooxoxoxox

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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."

christine the hoff's picture

Happy Turkey day! I am grateful that my kids are at my sister's until tomorrow, and I get to sit on my ass and do nothing.
I'm grateful for you sluts, MK, and dreamboat petey.

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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."

jazzfish_77's picture

Happy Thanksgiving! This IS the best site!

I am thankful for Kanye: he is probably the closest I will ever get to knowing God.

Don't forget to put a couple habaneros in the Vodka bottle; you'll thank me later.

Love to all

DeeDee's picture

Happy Thanksgiving to my most favorite sluts, MK and my Dlisters! ♥♥

Congratulations ISMU! ♥♥

☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼
Woah, slow down there maestro. There's a *New* Mexico? ~C. Montgomery Burns

Farrah's picture

Submitted by Deb on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 9:47am.

You sluts are stuck with me today. Oh and did I mention my back problems caused my hair to fall out? I don't want to talk about it! ;)
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it would be an honor to take care of your back and be stuck with chu today. I don't celebrate, so chu're stuck with me!
(you are more than welcome to talk about your back problems whenever needed. I also have an evil back, very evil)

*******************************************
And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?

Aw bless ya MK! Have a canned cranberrytini for me!

mike's picture

Love you too, MK. You run the best damn celebrity gossip site out there, and don't let anyone tell you differently.

A Thanksgiving Prayer, but William S. Burroughs

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4212204341571541144

ISprainedMyUvula's picture

Happy Thanksgiving, MK and to the rest of you lovelies.

This year, I'm thankful for my crazy boys, including our Tugboat who is two days old and currently getting his first dose of Dlisted while he sleeps on my chest. :)

Have a wonderful holiday, all.

****
I didn't hit you. I simply high-fived your face.

Deb's picture

Love ya, MK! I'm thankful that there is dlisted where I can come to park and snark! Love to all you sluts!
I've been having some serious back probs, and was unable to make the 8 hour drive to PA, where we usually celibrate Turkey day. You sluts are stuck with me today. Oh and did I mention my back problems caused my hair to fall out? I don't want to talk about it! ;)

"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"

Bella's picture

Happy thankgsgiving MK. We don´t celebrate it where I come from but I´m certainly thankful for dlisted for distracting me from my studies all day long :)

Farrah's picture

Happy Thanksgiving to you, bitch!
and say hello to your motha for us. Your chola cousin askeeres me, but damn, enjoy the fam!
*******************************************
And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?

angel_i's picture

Happy Thanksgiving, you late hos!

How the hell do you do this so close to Xmas is beyond me!

I am thankful for the four whores of the apocalypse: Britney, LiHo, Paris, Jessica - may your weaves keep us warm through many a cold, winter night.

♥ ThreadKilla!
Get into the spirit of giving!:
Send me your arm pillows, cholas and crotchfruit!
thirteenangels@live.com

howcomebubblegum's picture

Happy Thanksgiving MK and to all the other D-listed whores!!!

Courtney Love's picture

Love ya back, bitch!!