Guy Ritchie Is Cursed!
Guy Ritchie may have broken free from the grasp of the evil harpy known as Vadge, but he has only fallen from the frying pan into the fire, as the full fury of her witch craft curse has decimated the set and actors of his new movie, Sherlock Holmes.
The crew (probably Jamaican witch doctors) claim the movie is cursed. It doesn't take chicken bones and pigs blood to see that Vadge and her crotch of destruction are working their dark magic powers here.
Not only did his bad luck charm make his past movies bomb and his life a living hell, she's bringing her evil sorcery in the form of pain and suffering to anybody associated with Guy's movies.
First off, Robert Downey Jr was knocked the fuck out by Vadge's glamoured minion, a 7ft wrestler, co-star Robert Maillet during a fight scene. A bean spilling cunt from the set said: “Robert was accidentally caught on the chin by a thundering hook. He went flying and was out cold." He had to get a Sponge Bob band aid and six stitches put on the inside of his mouth.
Then Vadge threw a bolt of fire from the Heavens and tried to blow up Guy Ritchie's dumb ass, but luckily Jude Law standing too close to him and his mole took most of the blow. It bounced off his enormous skin tag and struck a petrol tanker, thus making it explode in a fireball, causing them to flee the set and closing down production for two hours.
Guy might have thought he was out of danger now that he's gotten his nuts back, but this isn't so. Vadge's roided-up punane is like The Ring. Once you stare into her black hole, you are cursed forever.
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"glamoured"
Michael K, you are not European. Methinks you are copying and pasting word by word and working in your delightful critiques.
vSubmitted by Sibsi on Mon, 12/01/2008 - 7:49pm.
So they start a rumor about this 'curse' and then they can use it later on when the film tanks, or if a miracle happens and it does well, they can say there was no such a thing as a curse.
Agreed. Mockney boy is going to rue not being Mr Madge.I'm not a fan of hers these days- frankly she gets on my nerves- but he is a talentless hack who got a start due soley to his family money and will sink back into being totally unknown in no time. I hope.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organisation
He needs to get his ass to a Priest fast.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
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I've been sympathetic towards Guy, but not anymore. All this smells of PR BS to me.
Let's face it, he cannot evolve beyond the cockney gangster films. This might just be a precautionary measure before this film is released and it becomes obvious his efforts were just not good enough.
So they start a rumor about this 'curse' and then they can use it later on when the film tanks, or if a miracle happens and it does well, they can say there was no such a thing as a curse.
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Let's see: Sean Penn, Dennis Rodman, Jose Canseco, Warren Beatty, Michael Jackson...how many other men have gone batshit crazy or had crazyass luck after diving in Vadge's vadge? Jacko is a question mark though. He'd only touch her if she was wearing a Diana Ross weave.
Ironic how Vadgeroid so totally denied she was ass raping A-Rod and now they are canoodling all over town and bumping ballsacks or whatever it is two roided-out sinewy gristle monsters do together now that she bitch-smacked Guy to the curb.
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Sweet barbecued Jesus with a side of cole slaw, I'm this close to just rolling down the subway stairs and out onto the third rail. - Jan_In_The_Pan
Wow, A-Rod had better watch out then, hadn't he? Now I know why Antonio Banderas always made the sign of the cross when he encountered her, then ran like hell afterward. He knew Evil Incarnate when he saw it! Poor Guy. Just when he thought he was out, she keeps pulling him back in. And I mean that in the worst possible way. Yecch.
I guess Carlos Leon had to pay for some heavy-duty santeria to free himself from her talons of death. I'll bet he sleeps with a doll riddled with pins just in case. And a goat's head. And some chicken entrails. Boy, you need the heavy juju when you've crossed Madge's, er, threshold. Yikes.
Madge put a hex on him with her voodoo Kabbalah crap, you know Jewish mysticism is like a pagan practice of sorts. She's probably head rabba witch or whatever they call their cultist followers. SCARY! Poor RDJ, I hope he got some good meds to kill the pain!
Your face!
Cheryl Burke and Madonna could cause quite the path of destruction if put together and angered.
Anyone remember Madonna actually played a witch in the movie 4 rooms? Life imitates art again! If this is now what is happening to guy, I hate to see what would happen to Brad Pitt! Madonna maybe a witch, but angelina is a full blown handmaiden of the devil! Hahaha!
------------------------------------------------------------- *I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
HAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAH*witchlaff* ...that was funny.
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U Better BackFlip Into A Dip Beeeetch!!!!!!!!
The world is loving your balls, Guy. No Vadge hoodoo can rain on your meat stick no more! Go Guy!
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Submitted by lizzieb on Mon, 12/01/2008 - 9:58am.
Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 12/01/2008 - 9:36am.
lizzieb!!
"Lord Pamperpants"!!! Hahahhahhaa!!!
Thank you.Julie Burchill said it better:
"The sorry spectacle of public schoolboys making films about how well-dressed, witty and cool working-class sociopaths are continues with the forthcoming Snatch, the latest film by Guy Ritchie, whose mother is a Lady, whose sister is a Tabitha, and who obviously got that impressive-looking scar by falling off his pony and landing on his silver spoon."
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LMAO! BEST!
Don't you just love it when there're many accidents on film set and things aren't going well, they'd say that the film is 'cursed'?!
Yeah, and that wouldn't be coz the right safety measurements weren't made and lack of organization on the director's part, would it?!
*Rolls eyes*
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"I am a legend, get these people out. I want to take drugs."
"Vadge's roided-up punane is like The Ring. Once you stare into her black hole, you are cursed forever."
MK you are the best! And thank God your back, I've been having MK withdrawals for days.
-Vadge's roided-up punane is like The Ring. Once you stare into her black hole, you are cursed forever.-
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I almost choked on my coffee....thanks!
TOO FUNNY!!
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She has traded in her Kabbalah bracelet in for the Necronomicon.
Karma came in the form of a 7 ft. wrestler named Robert Maillet and gave Guy a cosmic bitchslap for remaking ‘Swept Away’ with Vadge.
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I'm not an amateur psychologist; I just play one on the internet.
Guy Ritchie needs to direct movies for the Lifetime channel.
did him and vage ever have anything in common? i really dont like her at all as a person.
Vote for me in the 'Worst Fashion Moment' contest every day @ http://www.pronto.com/87060-WM?successMsg=true !
I love Guy's films. I think he's gonna struggle, struggle for the next 5 to 10 years and then start knocking us all on our asses with some amazing shit. I really do.
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lizzieb,
"whose mother is a Lady, whose sister is a Tabitha, and who obviously got that impressive-looking scar by falling off his pony and landing on his silver spoon"
Brilliant!
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I wish I had a million dollars... Hot dog!
Poor Guy. He'll never be like Tarantino and should just quit making his shit films.
Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 12/01/2008 - 9:36am.
lizzieb!!
"Lord Pamperpants"!!! Hahahhahhaa!!!
Thank you.Julie Burchill said it better:
"The sorry spectacle of public schoolboys making films about how well-dressed, witty and cool working-class sociopaths are continues with the forthcoming Snatch, the latest film by Guy Ritchie, whose mother is a Lady, whose sister is a Tabitha, and who obviously got that impressive-looking scar by falling off his pony and landing on his silver spoon."
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Atheism is a non-prophet organisation
"Vadge's roided-up punane is like The Ring."
LMAO. Best.Line.Ever. hahahahaha!
Rich and famous people suck.
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RIMADYL KILLS
Come on MK tell us about your trip to Cali. I'm sure you did some stalking of PP, got denied access to some clubs. Give us some goodies, please?
I'm gonna knock you out, mama said knock you out.
Just another day at the office....
Guy needs an exorcism to beat off SheHulk's curse.
Happy Monday DListed Snowbunnies.
Where is everybody? Where did everybody go?
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You'll be doin' all right, with your Christmas of white
But I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas
lizzieb!!
"Lord Pamperpants"!!! Hahahhahhaa!!!
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I wish I had a million dollars... Hot dog!
RD Junior knocked out! No! Save his face.
You'll love my blog:
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MK, you are killing me this morning!
"Vadge's roided-up punane is like The Ring. Once you stare into her black hole, you are cursed forever."
I think I just peed myself.
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President Obama - Get used to it! :)
it's the price guy has to pay for selling his soul..and his balls to the vadge...
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he doesn't know anything, he didn't do anything, and he doesn't give a shit...
The only curse on Guy is that the Mockney prick believes he is a) a hard man when in fact he is little Lord Pamperpants and b) someone who can make decent films.
Madge is the least of his worries but if it works for him to blame his total lack of talent and credibility on a woman then so be it. How hard man can you get?
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Atheism is a non-prophet organisation
is she putting a jewish curse on him? isn't it enough he had to put his dick inside her vagina? poor man...
MK only 27 more posts before you're caught up!
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Blackout
Circus
Coma
Now THAT's a movie I would pay money to see. But only if no Downey Jrs were actually hurt in the making of the film.
Guy doesn't care. He's freeeeeeeeee!
Better put that red string back on Guy. Vadge has got some serious Juju.
Have a purpose in life--be a bad example
Nobody fucks with the hotness known as Robert Downey Jr. and gets away with it. Vadge, I am prepared to fight your ridiculously roided-up self.