Kiki Dunst Has A Stalker Too
What the fuck is wrong with the crazy people of this world? Bryan Adams has stalkers (see below) and now Kiki Dunst has one too. Crazy people aren't discriminating.
Yesterday in Los Angeles, Kiki was granted a restraining order against some dude named Christopher Smith. Christopher has tried to break into her house several times. He was arrested last week after he tried to get into her vampire cavern for the fifth time. He was stopped by Kiki's personal assistant who performed a citizen's arrest on him.
I always wanted to do that shit! The next time I spot a hot dude doing something mildly illegal like smoking in a non-smoking area, I'm going to scream "CITIZEN'S ARREST!" Then I'm going to make him spread it so that I can frisk him for any dangerous weapons. Then I will ask him if he finds me attractive. If he says yes, I will inform him that I must perform a breathalyzer on him because it's standard procedure. I will assure him that it won't hurt a bit, because I've had a special breathalyzer system installed in my mouth. Then he'll have to take off his pants. Performing a citizen's arrest is better than Craigslist!
Anyway, 25-year-old Christopher Smith told the court that he's in love with her and connects with her spiritually. He went on to say, "I felt like I connected with her and she connected with me. Now I don't know if she did. I guess you have to ask her if she connected."
This dude ain't right. I have the perfect solution for Kiki's situation. Obviously, this dude has a strange obsession with wet marshmallows. Kiki should just send him a giant bag of soggy Kraft Jet-Puffed Marshmallows with a little baby tooth and scraggly blonde wig attached to it. He won't know the difference.
That should keep his creepy ass busy for a few a years.
Source: AHN
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She looks like she is trapping funk in her mouth!
Oh, Mrs.Kravitz , so do I!
I'd take him over any Hollywood 'hunk' any day, 'cause he's so damn charming and funny.
Maybe Simon rubbed in some talent and funny on Kiki, 'cause I almost died crying and laughing during that scene where she's so wasted and he takes her to his flat... then his dad is there and she keeps shouting 'I'm a whore!'.
This was such a great film. Wish it would have been widely promoted here. Who cannot fall in love with it? It's like The Devil Wears Prada with Simon Pegg.
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My other gig
My other hangout
Submitted by Sibsi on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 4:15pm.
I ♥ Simon Pegg
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You've got a mind of your own, why don't you use it
You know your way home or did you lose it?
You knew right where you were going when you walked up to that door
And anytime you want to leave get up and go.
If he had a bag of weed this bitch sure as hell would have connected.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
http://www.myspace.com/384080529
Run from the dog catcher, Kiki!
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Heaven help you if you have a different opinion to express, or GOD help you if you don't run spell-check OR you don't have perfect puncuation!--Mix Well
I still don't think she's an awesome actress or anything, but I kinda liked her in 'How to lose friends and alienate people'. She was dare I say... almost charming.
I could see that someone would decide to stalk her based on that performance only.
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My other gig
My other hangout
"This dude ain't right."
Hahaaha! That sums it up perfectly. I guess part of being creepy weird is choosing to stalk vampire girls.
.
Just her teefs alone scare the shit out of me. Whoever this guy is, he's batshit.
"It kind of looks like a little girl and her memaw bonding during karaoke hour at Shady Pines."
Not all stalkers are crazy. Case in point, Me. I always stalk a guy before I get to know them. You know, google them, stake out their house, their job, take out their Starbucks cups from the garbage when they throw them out. No biggie. You just have to know that in they end, they really love you too.
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"I've been known to have a bit of a temper problem when betrayed."
- Theodore Bagwell
yuck! kiki looks like she smells of wet dog and sour milk...yeah, stalkers like that shit...
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he doesn't know anything, he didn't do anything, and he doesn't give a shit...
i thought she was cute back in the "bring it on" days but she's just so...boring now.
I'm calling bull shit!! She had Spidey drag that poor fucker to her door, push the doorbell and run just so she could tell the cops she was being stalked!!!
How much she paying him for doing that job? My recommends to all the horz: check into this, those who live in celeb-infested areas. Sounds like a good 2nd job if the $$ is right (income not reported to the feds).
Submitted by gyeah on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 11:26am.
Hellolololo!
Cha i had to do family style hood rat shit for holiday times. Turkey is not worth air travel at all! No it is not!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
See what I mean?!?! Now the IT thing in Hollyweird is to have a stalker y'all!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Catch the hot star @ ==MEET RICH. COM== where to find great date, a casual or committed relationship with hot babes, rich and sexy singles, or even something more.
HAHAHAH this story reminds me of someone. *zip*
ANYWAAAAAY!
LoLo got lo lo lo lo lo lo.
Hi LoLo, u was laying lo?
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y KD
all dogs are stalker, they are crazy little stalkers
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
Wonder if Charlize Theron needs a stalker???
For Xmas, I want a celeb stalker of my very own.
I know I always feel connected to people whose homes I've tried to break into. It's a special bond.
Have a purpose in life--be a bad example
Satlk you
Stalk me
Stalkin forever
In Therapy
Stalking ForEeEeEEEEEEeeeeeever....
in therapy.
Hey Youse Guys!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
BRB, I'm going to go stalk my credit union. I mean, make a deposit. After I make a deposit at the bathroom first.
LoLo on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 10:59am.
We all share TEH BRAINS yall! ;)
- LOLO!!!
We share teh brains wif MK and PUPPEHS!
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Have you ever met a celebrity that you've um...(forgive me)..."fantasized" about? Well, I have! It was so awesome. It was Carrot Top! OMG I know you're jealous MK! Too bad. I shook his hand and everything. It felt naughty! Ha HA!
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Help me!
LoLo!
I don't have a stalker. :( Almost as bad, though, my dog has been stomping on my boobs while I lay in bed. Ouch. He's kind of like my stalker. He'd glue himself to my side just so he could go with me everywhere.
We all share TEH BRAINS yall! ;)
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Stock!
Bonjour le Grand Garçon !
yepyepyep!
Ooof! You had better take a BIG net!
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I will kill everything, except the floating ones and the swimming ones, who will get out due to a loophole.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 10:54am.
Oh, Cword. I did it for the second time this morning, posted what somebody else already did. My scrolling elbow hurts.
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No worries, a few of us posted 'dentist' comments...I'm glad to be in such fine company!
...just don't let it happen again. ;)
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I left your house this morning about a quarter after nine.
Coulda been the Willie Nelson, coulda been the wine.
Im going to do a Citizen Arrests to all the loonies in JJ
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
Oh, Cword. I did it for the second time this morning, posted what somebody else already did. My scrolling elbow hurts.
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Sweet barbecued Jesus with a side of cole slaw, I'm this close to just rolling down the subway stairs and out onto the third rail. - Jan_In_The_Pan
Stalkers for everyone! I'm buyin'!
Im stalking my dentist just switch shit up a bit
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
britney won't have a stalker. pa spears will shoot anyone (other than chester cheetah) who rattles the lock on his lil cheesegrit's cage.
I wonder what sort of assistant and what sort of stalker we're talking about here. yay! citizen's arrester!
I wonder if this is the same dude who broke into kiki's nyc apartment and stole her purse?
Damn LA!!! Nice chichis!!! ;)
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"I want to fuck my way to the garden,
cause everyone needs a mother fucker!" SOAD
Hard to believe kaka face has stalker. Either that guy's eye sight is really bad or he is on some hard core drugs.
I bet Snaggletooth's stalker is her drug dealer looking for a payment.
Bonjour mon amies!
Esta Fea
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I love him ♥
By all rights, Kiki's stalker should be a rogue dentist with an insane desire to fix her grill.
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Sweet barbecued Jesus with a side of cole slaw, I'm this close to just rolling down the subway stairs and out onto the third rail. - Jan_In_The_Pan
Miss Priss on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 10:33am
You can just go ahead and rub a Krispy Kreme on chi chi's....*unbuttons top*....
My cat stalks me in the bathroom....
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
"The next time I spot a hot dude doing something mildly illegal like smoking in a non-smoking area, I'm going to scream "CITIZEN'S ARREST!" Then I'm going to make him spread it so that I can frisk him for any dangerous weapons. Then I will ask him if he finds me attractive. If he says yes, I will inform him that I must perform a breathalyzer on him because it's standard procedure. I will assure him that it won't hurt a bit, because I've had a special breathalyzer system installed in my mouth. Then he'll have to take off his pants. Performing a citizen's arrest is better than Craigslist!"
OH MK! I ♥ you!
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I will kill everything, except the floating ones and the swimming ones, who will get out due to a loophole.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 10:34am.
Shhhh! Phoebe will have one next!
~~~~~~~~~ MK will not be pleased.
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Hahah Jeffro
I think you might be right!
Jewel, then Vadge then Steve Buschemi(I still luv him;0)
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"I want to fuck my way to the garden,
cause everyone needs a mother fucker!" SOAD
I'm kinda surprised Twitney Spears doesn't have a stalker. Then again, like magnets, crazy repels crazy.
"Kfed done stole mah bebe's"
"I felt like I connected with her and she connected with me. Now I don't know if she did. I guess you have to ask her if she connected."
- Now imagine that phrase coming out of Andy Dick in a straight jacket in front of the judge...And you have a funny. Especially if ends it with an attempted leap that takes out all the court papers on the desk.
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"O yes this is how I wanted to enter the new millenium. Trapped in a basement with a bunch of imbeciles dressed like a gay Neil Armstrong"
MK, you crack me the fuck up. "Citizen's Arrest" - LOL!
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President Obama - Get used to it! :)
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 10:29am.
Stalkers are the new black.
Shhhh! Phoebe will have one next!
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Dick happens! - MK
First Bryan Adams, now Kiki D...I'm starting to see a pattern...
Since dental insurance is so expensive, dentists have had to drum up business by stalking celebs with jacked up teefs. Jewel will be next!
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Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something...I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
what the?
Dude, the only think she is connected with, is fug.
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Dick happens! - MK
*pinches LA's sexy butt* LOL
I owe you one. Krispy Kreme or Dunkin?
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"I want to fuck my way to the garden,
cause everyone needs a mother fucker!" SOAD
ok... this one I don't get.. hmmm me thinks it is KiKi's idea to stay relevant.
P.s. real life stalkers are scary..