Kiki Dunst Has A Stalker Too
What the fuck is wrong with the crazy people of this world? Bryan Adams has stalkers (see below) and now Kiki Dunst has one too. Crazy people aren't discriminating.
Yesterday in Los Angeles, Kiki was granted a restraining order against some dude named Christopher Smith. Christopher has tried to break into her house several times. He was arrested last week after he tried to get into her vampire cavern for the fifth time. He was stopped by Kiki's personal assistant who performed a citizen's arrest on him.
I always wanted to do that shit! The next time I spot a hot dude doing something mildly illegal like smoking in a non-smoking area, I'm going to scream "CITIZEN'S ARREST!" Then I'm going to make him spread it so that I can frisk him for any dangerous weapons. Then I will ask him if he finds me attractive. If he says yes, I will inform him that I must perform a breathalyzer on him because it's standard procedure. I will assure him that it won't hurt a bit, because I've had a special breathalyzer system installed in my mouth. Then he'll have to take off his pants. Performing a citizen's arrest is better than Craigslist!
Anyway, 25-year-old Christopher Smith told the court that he's in love with her and connects with her spiritually. He went on to say, "I felt like I connected with her and she connected with me. Now I don't know if she did. I guess you have to ask her if she connected."
This dude ain't right. I have the perfect solution for Kiki's situation. Obviously, this dude has a strange obsession with wet marshmallows. Kiki should just send him a giant bag of soggy Kraft Jet-Puffed Marshmallows with a little baby tooth and scraggly blonde wig attached to it. He won't know the difference.
That should keep his creepy ass busy for a few a years.
Source: AHN
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Now the Bryan Adams stalkers seem sane in comparison. Kiki is the human equivalent of dirty lukewarm bath water. Yuck.
"Just wondering but how many of you bitches acctually read the book? because Im thinkin not many of you have the brain spain too read...."
-Mrs.Hardin21 on Twilight
I'm starting to suspect that all these stalkers are dentistry students run amok.
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I left your house this morning about a quarter after nine.
Coulda been the Willie Nelson, coulda been the wine.
"This dude ain't right. I have the perfect solution for Kiki's situation. Obviously, this dude has a strange obsession with wet marshmallows. Kiki should just send him a giant bag of soggy Kraft Jet-Puffed Marshmallows with a little baby tooth and scraggly blonde wig attached to it. He won't know the difference."
Bwahahahahaha MK. You so funny
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"I want to fuck my way to the garden,
cause everyone needs a mother fucker!" SOAD
Well shit, stalking this booze soaked snaggle toof must be like following a mayoniase sammie around all day.
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Miss Priss.......JINX!
Buy me a Donut.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Stalkers are the new black.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
See what I mean?!?! Now the IT thing in Hollyweird is to have a stalker y'all!
Next week Chestica will have one too as well as Parisite and Nicole Richie! Then the Brangeloons!
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"I want to fuck my way to the garden,
cause everyone needs a mother fucker!" SOAD