Sean Avery Suspended For Being A Douche
First of all, is it just me or does Sean Avery's face look like it has fallen off a few hundred times and has been put back on using hot silly putty? Now that we've gotten that out of the way.
So...Sean Avery was suspended by the National Hockey League after he called his ex-girlfriend Elisha Cuthbert "sloppy seconds." Elisha is currently bumping it with Dion Phaneuf of the Calgary Flames. Sean, who plays for the Dallas Stars and used to be a Vogue intern, made the comments yesterday during a press conference before his team was supposed to play the Flames.
This is the shit he said: "I am really happy to be back in Calgary, I love Canada. I just want to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don't know what that's about. Enjoy the game tonight."
The NHL will hold a hearing with the commissioner to determine what to do with Sean next. I say send the douche to work at the Summer's Eve factory. He'll do great work there.
The owner of Sean's team said they would have suspended his ass if the NHL didn't. "This organization will not tolerate such behavior, especially from a member of our hockey team. We hold our team to a higher standard and will continue to do so."
That's right! You can knock out a bitch's tooth out with your head, but you can't slag off a C-list actress! The NHL is only filled with the finest gentlemanly gentlemen!
I have a feeling this shit is not about him calling Elisha his sloppy seconds. It's not like he called her a used cunt who likes to get donkey punched in front of toddlers. He only called her his sloppy seconds. Big deal.
The NHL and his team were probably looking for any little thing to get rid of him. When he made that harmless comment, they looked at each other and knew this was the shit they needed.
I don't blame them. The clip below is Sean making the comment and his face is just begging to be beat with a bag of dildos covered in ass dust.
Pig.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 2:41pm.
Did you hear about the leper hockey game? There was a face off in the corner.
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LMAO..I'm dry heaving Little Debbie Christmas Tree Brownies...snort...face off in the corner!
That comment he made was out of left field. He is trying to sound nonchalant but looks like a stupid asshole. Appears as though he can't make the grade...what a douchebag.
First I don't get why he brought it up. It seemed completely out of context.
And secondly suspending him was stupid. He made a douche comment, so what. I've heard players say worst. He doesn't even mention names. He was just trying to get that dudes goat. Since when did trash talking lead to suspension. It's not like he called her a whore.
I am sorry, but I think this guy is amazing and Elisha Cuthbert is just retarded. This is hilarious.
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I go through life like a karate kid.
Awww, sounds like Avery has "little man syndrome". (He is small by NHL standards)
I'm glad he got suspended. That was pretty mean, but I'd expect such; just at a bar or party, NOT a press conference for a sporting event.
Man, I have Avery and Phaneuf jersey's. I'm torn, or maybe they were just subliminal purchases reflecting my wanting of Elisha's sloppy thirds.
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"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
It's obviously a very dehumanizing comment to make about a woman, implying she has little or no value except as a ruse for his rivals to get a leg up on him, pardon the pun.
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires."
- Susan B. Anthony
And his ex and her Canucky are light headed from recurring bouts of uncontrollable laughter. Sloppy suspended! Harrdeharharrrrrr.
Am I the only one who can see the words DIPSHIT tattooed on his forehead?
Water settles to it's own level Elisha. If you swim in humanity's sewer, expect to meet some turds.
the DUDE! abides...
Submitted by Mick on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 3:59pm.
oh, god, check out the "dude's" eyebrows - he's a fuckin fairy....
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Yes, he's "Fairy" cute. ;)
oh, god, check out the "dude's" eyebrows - he's a fuckin fairy....
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"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
The NHL over reacted.
What's wrong with sloppy seconds?
Or, sloppy joes for that matter???
Isn't that what celebutards do? - date each other from the same disease infested dating pool????
Submitted by Bondagebarbie on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 3:11pm.
Very mean of him but why is she a hockey groupie?
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hockey players are HWAT!!!
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You've got a mind of your own, why don't you use it
You know your way home or did you lose it?
You knew right where you were going when you walked up to that door
And anytime you want to leave get up and go.
Very mean of him but why is she a hockey groupie?
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
http://www.myspace.com/384080529
he'll do a stint in rehab
2nd offense est + longer rehab
3rd offense lobotomy + est + even longer rehab
no ones had a 4th offense
Why would you be bitching about a relationship at a sports related conference? What a immature douchebag.
The C Word - Jason Blake denied that Sean ever said anything to him about his cancer and the other players that were around them also stated they never heard Sean say anything along those lines.
If the NHL can suspend Sean for comments that don't refer to any specific people, it's amazing he didn't get suspended for calling Marty Brodeur "Fatso."
In that picture above, both of them look like fuckwad douches. It says a lot about her own person when you look at the guys she's dated. Girls aren't douche magnets unless they're shallow bitches themselves.
Did you hear about the leper hockey game? There was a face off in the corner.
This guy sounds like a monumental douche. When you are a professional at a professional media event for your sport you need to STFU about your personal life. Dickwad.
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Sweet barbecued Jesus with a side of cole slaw, I'm this close to just rolling down the subway stairs and out onto the third rail. - Jan_In_The_Pan
The Giants asshole carried a gun into a nightclub and shot himself in the fucking leg. This asshat made douchey comments about a fourth-rate "actress" Acting like a bitter child does NOT equate risking the lives of others. And since the Giants asshat was injured anyways, his suspension is rather meaningless.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Interviewer: You're playing one of the most famous characters in movie history. How come we don't see you in all the tabloids?
Daniel Craig: Because I don't want to be in them.
Yup, its how he said it, ewww what a jerkoff!!! No wonder she is his ex. The dude is more in love with himself than anyone else.
Why are we talking about Canadians?
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"If he's anywhere, he's in the middle of nowhere, keeping to himself, being a weirdo." - Brad Bellick (R.I.P.)
Submitted by Mel-Tang on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 1:19pm.
Submitted by Anonymous101 on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 1:14pm.
Jennifer Aniston should call him and tell him that was really uncool.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! :)
Your wittle doggie/reindeer is sooo cute!!
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Thanks. That's not MY dog though; I found that pic somewhere on the 'net. I really like your lab though too - so sweet :)
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It's creamie, not prune!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQbwt-dicpo
Submitted by misshexum311 on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 1:30pm.
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ITA, not to mention his ribbing of Jason Blake about cancer when the guy was in the midst of battling cancer.
And your name reminds me of Jon-Erik Hexum, may the poor bastard RIP (SFW):
http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/2/22/220px-Hexum.jpg
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I left your house this morning about a quarter after nine.
Coulda been the Willie Nelson, coulda been the wine.
douchey, maybe, but i thought it was funny. stupid to be suspended and fined over. then again if you can fine someone for their nippie popping out for a split second then you can fine someone for something less "offensive."
hockey players are supposed to be scholarly gentlemen now?
Submitted by Clarisse on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 1:44pm.
Jeffro,
Here's to you muffin!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5i_D6oQO6b8
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Thank god I don't have a staff meeting after watching that clip!
"Bleed all over him, let him know you're there!"
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They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He shends one of yoursh to the hoshpital, you shend one of hish to the morgue!!!
Whats really good with the ass patch on his head?!?!
Jeffro,
Here's to you muffin!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5i_D6oQO6b8
misshexum!
That's what she said! Well put!
for you...my guess is...
http://wetmen.provocateuse.com/show/jon_erik_hexum
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Ein minuten bitte! Ich habe eine kleinen problemo avec diese religiones.
once again, a celebrity/sportsguy fucking up their gravy train.
she looks really pretty in that pic, though. I like the blue eye shadow!
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Sean Avery was not the first hockey player Elisha Cuthbert dated. She dated Mike Komisarek of the Canadiens first, so technically, he got Mike's sloppy seconds. And this isn't just a reference to Elisha (although it was certainly said to particulalrly piss off Phaneuf that night). He dated Rachel Hunter (the old bitch from the Stacy's Mom video) and she went on to date Jarret Stoll of the LA Kings. But a suspension? This is a guy who told anither player he wished their mother died of cancer...all while knowing that player's mother WAS BATTLING CANCER! He's done and said far worse. This doesn't reflect badly on the NHL, it reflects badly on the taste of the women who dated him, his own ego and his parents. At the end of the day, he's a damn good hockey player and that should be all the NHL cares about (given he doesn't kill anyone). These guys knock each other's fucking teeth in every night and even the nicest of men trash talk like this in games. GET OVER IT. That's why it's hockey, not soccer or something else equally pathetic. Why don't we talk about the idiot who shot himself in the leg and fucked the Giants chances of two-in-two-years Superbowl?
He's such an ass, most hockey fans will be glad to see him go (hopefully forever).
Submitted by Clarisse on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 1:26pm.
Avery is an over-rated cunny with a big mouth. Put him back in the ring and let him take a few butt-ends to the gullet. He will learn to keep his yap shut.
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I love you, Clarisse!
Put on the foil! Nail him right in his mind! Stick down, gloves off, he challenged the Chiefs! Called us names! You stupid when you do dat, jus some english pig with no brains at hall...
Somebody stop me now...
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They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He shends one of yoursh to the hoshpital, you shend one of hish to the morgue!!!
Limp leftover!! Brilliant.
On topic: It was trash talk. Shannon Sharpe,
Jim McMahon, Bode Miller, Jeremy Roenick, T.O., ALI...hell, should have suspend em all.
Avery is an over-rated cunny with a big mouth. Put him back on the ice and let him take a few butt-ends to the gullet. He will learn to keep his yap shut.
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Ein minuten bitte! Ich habe eine kleinen problemo avec diese religiones.
Was Elisha in that retarded Wax movie with Paris? She's not C-list, more like FF-list like Paris!
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
I don't follow Avery or the NHL (but did see a show about him and his Vogue internship or whatever). He was wrong...and it was ungentlemanly. But manners were never the strong suit in the NHL. And the organization getting all pissy about this comment while it allows legalized violence? Oh pullleeeeze! How hypocritical!
Submitted by Anonymous101 on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 1:14pm.
Jennifer Aniston should call him and tell him that was really uncool.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! :)
Your wittle doggie/reindeer is sooo cute!!
Rich and famous people suck.
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RIMADYL KILLS
I don't get this either? What was the point? Hockey players each other bloody on the ice and not face any criminal charges..yet some dude says something that doesn't mean shit..and he's suspended?
CRAZY??? No wonder most Americans hate Hockey..it's a sport where they get hurt the most on their vaginas. LOL
"Don't let the door hit you on the vagina on the way out" Knocked up
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Pretty looks fade...dumb is forever -- Judge Judy
Jennifer Aniston should call him and tell him that was really uncool.
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It's creamie, not prune!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQbwt-dicpo
Submitted by KD on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 1:09pm.
Well good for him. I didn't know who is was before and now he's probably going to come out with a cologne.
LMFAO! He probably will! I need to stalk my local news team and say something extraordinarily douchey on t.v. so I can hop on this instant fame train. LOL
Rich and famous people suck.
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RIMADYL KILLS
His Canadian barrister has since explained that Avery meant his "seconds" in the dueling sense and apologized for their slovenliness. The barrister also said, as an aside, that his client has the utmost respect for women as equals and would be donating $10,000 to a battered-women's shelter in Vancouver.
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"I'm A Celebrity" left deflated after glamour girl Nicola McLean busts out of the jungle.
Well good for him. I didn't know who is was before and now he's probably going to come out with a cologne. I'm feeling very unwitty today, or I would come up with some funny name for it. I'm going to have to hand it over to you guys.
Hey here's a question...if an ex-girlfriend is sloppy seconds, what's an ex-boyfriend...limp leftovers?
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They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He shends one of yoursh to the hoshpital, you shend one of hish to the morgue!!!
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 1:03pm.
For reals. They were prolly just tryna save him from the injuries.
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Won't matter, neither fans nor players forget...and the teams trying to sell tix for the next time they're in town won't either, they'll hype it all to hell.
Unless they meet in the playoffs where they won't want to take a dumb penalty, Avery's gonna get popped.
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They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He shends one of yoursh to the hoshpital, you shend one of hish to the morgue!!!
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 12:48pm.
What if you lose count? Are you just sloppy? What would you call the gross Justin Timberlake/Scarlett Johanssen/Jessica Biel/Ryan Reynolds whore showdown? They've all slept with each other.
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Whore Showdown. I love it!!
Dummy! If he was over her, he wouldn't have felt the need to bring that up. I mean, nobody even asked. Methinks he'd take her slippery thirds if given the chance...
"Just wondering but how many of you bitches acctually read the book? because Im thinkin not many of you have the brain spain too read...."
-Mrs.Hardin21 on Twilight
He looks like he's melting. What a fug and irrelevant douche.
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How can you thank God for a song that the Devil helped you write?
Submitted by Clarisse on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 1:02pm.
Jeffro,
LOL! I'm there for ya buddy. As far as his wife being a lesbian, can you blame her?
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Nope. But she has to tell it in court anyways.
Women's bodies are beautiful. See guys around the locker room all the time, cocks hanging...
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They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He shends one of yoursh to the hoshpital, you shend one of hish to the morgue!!!
Submitted by Jeffro11 on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 12:57pm.
...but they should have let Avery play, so Phanuef could knock his friggin block off.
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For reals. They were prolly just tryna save him from the injuries.
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The NHL and his team were probably looking for any little thing to get rid of him. When he made that harmless comment, they looked at each other and knew this was the shit they needed.
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Which is why this Avery dude should have kept his mouth shut. He handed them the perfect weapon against himself, they just used it. He should have known better. No pity for that douchebag here. And yes, in that video he's just begging to be slapped with an iron dong.
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Let me dirty up your mind.