Jessica Wants To Study Religion
Jessica Simpson was so inspired by a documentary on the religious masterpiece The Da Vinci Code that she now wants to study theology. Did the sky suddenly go dark for a quick second? That was God rolling his eyes.
Jessica told Marie Claire (via P6), "I've been contemplating taking a college course in religion. I love religion. I remember whenever the book 'The Da Vinci Code' came out, the Discovery Channel did this three-night piece on it that I TiVoed and then watched eight times."
This might not be such a bad idea. Then she can read the lost commandment: "Thou shall not open your mouth if your name is Jessica Simpson."
And since Jessica is so inspired by documentaries, someone should get her "Grizzly Man" for Christmas. Maybe that will inspire her ass to go live in the wilderness forever.
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Submitted by Stock Broker on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 3:07pm.
I bet she read "Da Vinci Code for Dummies." - or the Dr. Seuss version "Green Codes and Ham"
No way Chestica can read a Dan Brown novel.
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haha...but she couldn't read the novel, she watched its documentary over & over & over...
This has to be an act. No one is that stupid. The shit she says is too unbelievable. I'm not buying it.
She is so lovely, and I saw her photos on meetwealthy. com,she is welcomed by a lot of rich singles and celebs here. I also met many Classy Women, hot rich guys,also nice wealthy admirers. so I feel so happy.
I'm sure she had to watch it 8 times to finally understand all the big words they used! And everyone knows a Discovery Channel Documentary has been dumbed down to about a 12 year-old level.
Yeah, good luck with that college course, Jessica.
Submitted by crazyinjapan on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 10:59pm.
Restylane shots! They are to blame!
Jess gives ducks a BAD NAME!
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lol. That and the i.q -70. I bet two cells rubbing together under a microscope have more forethought and intelligence than Jess.
Restylane shots! They are to blame!
Jess gives ducks a BAD NAME!
can this chick ever say anything without sounding retarded?
it's a good things she has blonde hair and tig ole biddies....otherwise she would NEVER had gotten rich or famous (also Pamela Anderson!)
can someone PLEASE shove a big fat dick in her mouth, down her throat, and shut her fuck up already? this is the problem in all her relationships. Douchey men keep letting her talk when she needs to be on her knees waiting for the money shot 24/7.
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I smacked a bitch and I liked it.
Okay... this is the same ignoramus who read "The Notebook" on a plane flight, got off the plane, and divorced Nick Lachey within the month. She's so ridiculously, easily lead in any direction. Pathetic. I truly think she thought that she'd be Hollywood's Hottest Commodity after dumping Lachey, but the opposite turned out to be true. Suck on that, Jessica!
Is this really for the sake of the Da Vinci Code?
Live NYC shows on RealityBedroom
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Quite frankly, if she can inspire Hillbillies everywhere to go to college and study religion it would be the first good thing she's ever done.
♥ ThreadKilla!
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Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 6:44pm.
Did anyone watch SVU last night????
CHRISTIAN WARRIOR CAMP!!!!
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Ooo....now I'm all tingly- I can't wait!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Youtube Gallery
Did anyone watch SVU last night????
CHRISTIAN WARRIOR CAMP!!!!
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Submitted by Leona on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 6:10pm.
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As far as the actual ten commandments, I believe the closest to false prophets is:
Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
But otherwise, I think there are other warnings of false prophets.
Oh god Bradi!!! When I read "She's not Christian" I instantly got the Jesus Warrior screaming in my head!!!!
"She's not a ChriiiiiiiiiSSSTIIIIAAAANNNNNNNN!!"
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Ein minuten bitte! Ich habe eine kleinen problemo avec diese religiones.
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 6:37pm.
She is not Christian anymore, she be Da Vincian.
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*gasp* LMAO!
She is not Christian anymore, she be Da Vincian.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Did the sky suddenly go dark for a quick second? That was God rolling his eyes.
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LOL. Honestly. This girl is so stupid that it hurts! Actually, I saw something on her once and whatever ridiculous comment she made, I was surprised that the daughter of a Protestant youth minister knew so little about her Bible. Myself, I'm Catholic, but my paternal grandfather was a protestant minister and well, it's just surprising. And the whole Da Vinci code thing and the desire to study religion, broad term. Hell, even the cults class I took in college was under religious studies.
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Wed, Yeah.
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 3:02pm.
Submitted by peaches
That's breaking the commandment about "false prophets".
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Could you quote that one for me. I don't seem to remember a false prophet commandment?
But I didn't go to evangelical school either.
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Oh Spaghetti Cat if only you could tame the heart of my wild demon cat Leona.
(putsomestankonit)
IF and I mean IF there is really a GOD. The dude just passed gassed at earth...
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
What would she do if she saw lord of the rings? Move to england.... hmmm
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You JJers don’t mind if I remove my panties as I type this do you?… TL incatneato.
Damn it! I hate this fucking bitch so much!! She needs not make that face no mo!
You so ugly, you look like you got superpowers
Botox has run amock
Perhaps a career in pseudo-science is jut the ticket since real science and real acting and real singing are beyond her grasp.
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I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires."
- Susan B. Anthony
Submitted by Karma Police on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 4:08pm.
She probably reads at a 3rd grade level.
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Please, KP, don't insult the children!
She probably reads at a 3rd grade level.
How about mastering the English language first. And did she watch it 8 times because she didn't get it the first 7 times?
Idiot.
FUG!!
Submitted by Clarisse on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 3:48pm.
Come on ya'll. Tom Cruise made a fiction novel his religion, why not Jessucka?
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Well, just keep the Easter Bunny, Santa/Satan, the Tooth Fairy and the Keebler Elves outta that mess! SOME things must remain sacred.
Bahahaha! That's her, "Hmm tastes like chicken 'by' the sea" face.
I don't give a rat's ass about what Jessica says...once a ding-a-ling...
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Let's 80's speak! OMG, like totally rad!
Come on ya'll. Tom Cruise made a fiction novel his religion, why not Jessucka?
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Ein minuten bitte! Ich habe eine kleinen problemo avec diese religiones.
ya there's a book called the Ten commandments, maybe she can watch that movie too.
Maybe she should just jump right into scientology.
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Is it Jan 20 yet?
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 3:02pm.
Submitted by peaches: "Ummm this is just more proof of how retarded this cow is!!! Isn't she supposed to be this devout christian??? "
Yeah. Those damn Bible-beaters think it's heresy to even think about other religions. That's breaking the commandment about "false prophets". When I went to the evangelical Christian school, curiosity about other religions was NOT encouraged. Other beliefs were WRONG and the path to hell. It was betraying God to contemplate the teachings of Buddha or Mohammed. The Jews were sadly mistaken and they are all going to hell. Even the Catholics were going to hell because they prayed to saints (graven images). Oh yeah.
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That's what bugs me about fundamentalists. It's perfectly reasonable to have doubts, to struggle with faith, to check out what the other guys believe. God gave us big ol' brains--use them! Maybe if they cracked their Bibles every once in a great while, they'd see the Bible is full of people who struggled with faith, struggled to do the right thing, struggled to stay on track. Fundamentalists act like confessing Christ is the end of the journey, as opposed to the beginning. Not to mention they usually end up being the biggest freaks with the most skeletons and the most to be genuinely ashamed of.
"Just wondering but how many of you bitches acctually read the book? because Im thinkin not many of you have the brain spain too read...."
-Mrs.Hardin21 on Twilight
And God said 'Bitch Puhleeeease scrape that orange SHIT off yer face and for once make a ladylike expression with that mouth of yours.'
Hick.
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Wyle E Coyote
"And I'm sure the bitch... was arrested for attack with a deadly gorgeous eyebrow.", MK.
Oh my gosh...I can't believe how much I don't care!
I suggest Jessica start out with these two verses of the Bible..."and Judas went and hung himself"..."go ye and do likewise."
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
Watching the Discovery Channel makes Jessica feel smart.
That's all you need to know, right there.
Ummmmm, she does realize The DaVinci Code was fiction, right?? Perhaps she should study pop fiction. Start with Green Eggs and Ham. Baby steps, Jess.
"Just wondering but how many of you bitches acctually read the book? because Im thinkin not many of you have the brain spain too read...."
-Mrs.Hardin21 on Twilight
My parents recently gave my nephew the comic version of the Bible.
Maybe thats what shes thinking of?
I can't believe she is that dumb to ask Nike town that. I will always wonder if that is part of an act.
Does this dumb ho think that that crappy book was a true story?Idiot!
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
http://www.myspace.com/384080529
LMFAO PARIS SUCKS!
One time when I was high I went into McDonalds and demanded a whopper..
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 3:03pm.
DAE, no link...but it was in last week's Star Mag.......and I read it on ONTD....
ok, I'm gone for the day.....bye!
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I found a link, so no worries.
Have fun!
~♥~Merry Christmas, everyone!~♥~
Submitted by Stock Broker on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 3:08pm.
TT99 ~ don't forget "Happy Festivus"
^^
the holiday for the rest of us
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
You've got a mind of your own, why don't you use it
You know your way home or did you lose it?
You knew right where you were going when you walked up to that door
And anytime you want to leave get up and go.
@DAE
here ya go!
http://www.starmagazine.com/jessica_simpson_gaffe/news/14894
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
You've got a mind of your own, why don't you use it
You know your way home or did you lose it?
You knew right where you were going when you walked up to that door
And anytime you want to leave get up and go.
TT99 ~ don't forget "Happy Festivus"
Jeffro
Harry: ...You just get to a certain point when you get tired of the whole thing.
Sally: What whole thing?
Harry: The whole life-of-a-single-guy. You meet someone, you have the safe lunch, you decide you like each other enough to move on to dinner, you go dancing, you do the white man's overbite, you go back to her place, you have sex, and the minute you're finished, you know what goes through your mind? How long do I have to lie here and hold her before I can get up and go home? Is thirty seconds enough?
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
You've got a mind of your own, why don't you use it
You know your way home or did you lose it?
You knew right where you were going when you walked up to that door
And anytime you want to leave get up and go.
I bet she read "Da Vinci Code for Dummies." - or the Dr. Seuss version "Green Codes and Ham"
No way Chestica can read a Dan Brown novel.
Hekki, great post! We are Catholic, and I'm proud that my soon-to-be 18 year old son is fascinated with theology, and the origins of Buddhism and Islam, and the different Christian denominations...it does not weaken ones' belief by studying other religions. Only if one has no faith in what they believe-then, they overcompensate, imho!
Submitted by peaches on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 2:47pm.
not only that, but she saw it on tivo!!! LOL how very olde testament of her.
I wonder if she knows that it come in one of those book things?
Luckily for her they've dumbed down the bible and made it easier to read. "And Jesus walked on water. And Peter said, 'Awesome!'
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You JJers don’t mind if I remove my panties as I type this do you?… TL incatneato.