Jessica Wants To Study Religion
Jessica Simpson was so inspired by a documentary on the religious masterpiece The Da Vinci Code that she now wants to study theology. Did the sky suddenly go dark for a quick second? That was God rolling his eyes.
Jessica told Marie Claire (via P6), "I've been contemplating taking a college course in religion. I love religion. I remember whenever the book 'The Da Vinci Code' came out, the Discovery Channel did this three-night piece on it that I TiVoed and then watched eight times."
This might not be such a bad idea. Then she can read the lost commandment: "Thou shall not open your mouth if your name is Jessica Simpson."
And since Jessica is so inspired by documentaries, someone should get her "Grizzly Man" for Christmas. Maybe that will inspire her ass to go live in the wilderness forever.
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Submitted by Jeffro11 on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 2:09pm.
The pic of her was taken by some Subway employee who just asked her "wheat or white bread?" And she still hasn't answered.
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I get that same look on my face when the clerk asks "paper or plastic?"
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You've got a mind of your own, why don't you use it
You know your way home or did you lose it?
You knew right where you were going when you walked up to that door
And anytime you want to leave get up and go.
Why do I suspect that she's gonna try the Christian music thing next?
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I left your house this morning about a quarter after nine.
Coulda been the Willie Nelson, coulda been the wine.
Submitted by chefcammi on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 2:03pm.
The girl cant even grasp the English language, how will she ever understand biblical language!
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The LOLCAT Bible of course! http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page
"Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem..."
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!
paris hilton's gonna be on david letterman tonight.
WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Uhm, yeah, Jessica. You watched it 8 times, because that is how many times it took you to comprehend WTF you were watching.
Tard.
religion is at the root of all evil in the world today... how can anyone with a brain love it... oh thats right this ho doesnt have one
Yeah sure, she wants to study religion.
The pic of her was taken by some Subway employee who just asked her "wheat or white bread?" And she still hasn't answered.
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They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He shends one of yoursh to the hoshpital, you shend one of hish to the morgue!!!
Dear God
Please hide yourself from this irrelavent twat who thought chicken of the sea was chicken.
amen, motherfucker.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
I think she would learn best in a convent in Siberia.
(side note: Do they sell "Jesus for Dummies"?)
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I left your house this morning about a quarter after nine.
Coulda been the Willie Nelson, coulda been the wine.
She should meet a theologian and that would quickly help change her mind. The only interesting religion professor at my college was quickly fired. Same goes for phychology prof. I had another religion prof who I tried to refute in one matter and he got all "oh certainly I'm smarter than you" on me.
And I say let her study religion. At least she aspires to be nicer, I think.
Grizzly man was fantastic, that guy was unreal!!! He reminded me of Andy Dick´s character on Less than Perfect.
"I love religion."
*pondering that statement*
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
You've got a mind of your own, why don't you use it
You know your way home or did you lose it?
You knew right where you were going when you walked up to that door
And anytime you want to leave get up and go.
Speaking of Grizzly Man, that guy was a freaking whack job. I was totally routing for the bears, like someone bite his head of just to shut him the fuck up already. And his Medieval Times waitress girlfriend was a total freak too. Bears 1, Grizzly Man 0.
"I think I have big Thy's.. what do y'all think? Dont make me shalt, y'all! Alright, one the count of Thee.. "
I need 371 more votes to take the lead!
YOU CAN GIVE ME THOSE 371 MORE VOTES!!! It's as easy as clicking the link and clicking "Bomb It"
http://www.pronto.com/87060-WM?successMsg=true
QUACK quack QUACK
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You'll be doin' all right, with your Christmas of white
But I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas
Bitch Please... I will never forgive Tony Romo for this.
Submitted by chefcammi on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 2:03pm.
"Thou? You mean like General Thou's chicken?"
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ROTFLMAO!!! Cammi is en fuego today!
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They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He shends one of yoursh to the hoshpital, you shend one of hish to the morgue!!!
Wait, MK. Is that the documentary where the guy gets mauled by the bears at the end? In that case...
well, jim I agree with ya there on one of your points, we do need to legalize weed..lol
I need 371 more votes to take the lead!
YOU CAN GIVE ME THOSE 371 MORE VOTES!!! It's as easy as clicking the link and clicking "Bomb It"
http://www.pronto.com/87060-WM?successMsg=true
Nice sentiment Jim, but this mo-ron barely has enough brain cells to form complete sentences already. Don't waste the weed on her fake ass.
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They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He shends one of yoursh to the hoshpital, you shend one of hish to the morgue!!!
The girl cant even grasp the English language, how will she ever understand biblical language!
I can see it now...
"Thou? You mean like General Thou's chicken?"
what a twit.
I need 371 more votes to take the lead!
YOU CAN GIVE ME THOSE 371 MORE VOTES!!! It's as easy as clicking the link and clicking "Bomb It"
http://www.pronto.com/87060-WM?successMsg=true
I am also just rolling my eyes.
How could I begin to try and locigally digest anything that twat says?
Papa Joe is an evil genius! Since going Country didn't save Jess she's going to become a gospel singer!! She should start with a pre-school religious course. "Jebus for Tots"
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!
If you are a celebrity you can take a college course probably at harvard if you are jessica simpson lol
Don't worry, this won't last. Wait 'til she finds out there's actually book learnin involved.
RELIGION IS THE CAUSE OF ALL THE WORLD'S WARS AND SHE SHOULD HAVE WATCHED THE REPORT ABOUT LEGALIZING WEED LAST NIGHT ON NAT. GEO...SHE IS A FUCKING MORON, BUT HAS NICE TITIES!!
sorry, this just makes me lol
The lost commandment? Oh man!
I am pretty sure you have to graduate from high school in order to take a college course.