Wednesday, December 3rd 2008
Tommy Is Subtle
Tommy Girl can't be anymore obvious. He should have just put Suri in a glass display case, placed spotlights all around her and shouted "Step right up!" on a megaphone. Now, the last time I held a baby it threw up on my face, so I don't hold one often, but I'm pretty sure this is not how you normally do it. Suri better be getting paid double for this kind of fuckery.
On the plus side, she has a sippy cup instead of a bottle! Alert the fucking world! At this rate, she'll graduate to a regular cup by her 18th birthday! Actually, I think Suri is going from the sippy cup straight to the bottle thanks to the fact that she's being raised by a pack of crazies.
And Tommy's platform Easy Spirits are seriously sexy.
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Submitted by Mix Well on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 8:34pm.
aw, Mix. We're just snarky. If you make it through the hazing, you get to sit at the cool kids' table. (Well, actually it's more like the retained kids' table, but whatever.)
I won't crack on your spelling if you promise to try to insult people while making reference to MK's posts. That will win you added points for style and content, and it offsets any grammatical issues.
Example: (Let's use one of yesterday's posts)--
Jiggy: Mix Well, come closer.
Mix Well: Jiggy, I would not get next to you if you were Ivana Trump and I were the last dry Depends on earth.
Y'know. Like that. ;-)
Anyway you don't have to wax cars. ;-)
xo
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Did the sky suddenly go dark for a quick second? That was God rolling his eyes. (MK)
Child rearing has not aged him like it has aged Katie. Obviously, Tom doesn't do diaper duty and doesn't help Suri when she wakes up in the middle of the night screaming from nightmares only to realize when she she's katie bot's face that she is living a nightmare she can't escape.
Look at the 3rd thumbnail, you KNOW he's got some sort of Brangelina deal going on with the paps, they've agreed to shoot him from the ground to make him look taller! He needs to tell them to start keeping his feet out of the shots, though, those shoes are a dead giveaway.
OMG what's up with his shoes? Tommy, just wear stilettos for crissakes!
what is the deal with the light colored shoes.
both him & angelina!
his look especially ridiculous! they look like bottom of the barrel nike tennies - yes i said tennies. it is because they aren't truly the model for running or cross training but the $ 30 Big 5 or Sports Authority weekly circular variety.
i don't have a problem w/him or suri though. there are way too many douche bags in the world so it is a moot point.
but what i do have a problem with is FUGG SHOES.
angies needed help from a stylist pronto too. hair, non flesh tone shoes, goth granny look doesn't do anything for anyone unless you are morticia adams or elvira.
Submitted by TheStraightMan on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 8:36pm.
Tom has a Jack McFarland from Will & Grace quality
++++++
Blasphemy! Jack is HOT. And Jack would NEVAH wear lifts in his shoes.
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Did the sky suddenly go dark for a quick second? That was God rolling his eyes. (MK)
And I don't care what anyone says..that kid is weird lookin'!
I respict him for takin care of this girl like it was his sperms that made her
Oh yeah, I always see parents lovingly cradling their children in the opposite direction for all the world to see.
Submitted by loric on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 8:40pm.
I will say this a million times-Suri gives me the creeps. There is something 'off' about her.
+++++
Right. her coat.
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Did the sky suddenly go dark for a quick second? That was God rolling his eyes. (MK)
Those two fucktards that are known as Mr. And Mrs. Cruise treat that kid like a titanium with diamonds American Express Card..they never leave home without her. They are as bad as Angelina and her no balls concubine.
And please Tom, get your kid in a fucking winter coat!!!
High-waters and white sneaks - welcome to the 70's Tom.
Submitted by DebFrmHell on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 8:35pm.
Dude Cruise is getting his bulb on....
++++++++++
Spot on...and Travolta wants to get Tommy's bulb off.
Nast. I think I just offended myself.
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Did the sky suddenly go dark for a quick second? That was God rolling his eyes. (MK)
I will say this a million times-Suri gives me the creeps. There is something 'off' about her.
Notice Tommygirl's pants-he obviously needs to get his big boy pants tailored to fit his tiny legs.
I would have a lot more respect for him if he would just be honest about himself: his sexuality, his height and his inability to have children.
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ILLEGITIMI NON CARBORUNDUM
Submitted by alkimi on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 8:32pm.
Are his pants rolled under? They look funny like that....
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Yes, as I've said before, I do not understand why Tom Cruise now dresses like a 40 something retarded janitor for his first date...I don't get it...I just don't...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Suri looks like a spoiled little bitch. There, deal wiffit. She's got Scio-Daddy-Poo wrapped around her little pinky toe and she's got Mommy-Bot terrified to break away from the sci-fi-religious shit. Bitch sold her soul and her offspring's soul too. Yaknow. I have made plenty of mistakes but this shit is right up there with, "MAJOR FUCKUP" in my book.
Tom has a Jack McFarland from Will & Grace quality about him here.
Cheers you big 'mo, cheers.
What color is Suri's natural hair color? It looks blonde at the roots and brunette and brown everywhere else
Jiggy,
You ever heard of drinkers nose? Think Buddy Hackett and Bill Murray...
Dude Cruise is getting his bulb on....
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
Siobhan on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 6:56pm.
Its all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then, it's hilarious! lol
That baby has his nose.
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"I told my brother all about you, he's gonna love you, only he better
not love you too much or I'll kick his ass."
jiggywiddit, well, i don't paint fences or wax cars. i'm really not a villian i just don't like bullies. i do not mean you.
Suri is sooooo cute:D
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Tom probably had John Travolta punch him extra hard in the nose during a hot moment. Bleah.
Are his pants rolled under? They look funny like that....
awww...what a cutie. Suri has star quality. tom lost some weight.he looks good.
Okay not for nothing, it's too f*cking cold for him to be parading her around without a coat, scarf etc.. damn!!!
Submitted by DebFrmHell on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 8:22pm.
There's no way to fix THAT nose. Nightmare scenario would be "If They Mated: Owen Wilson and Tom Cruise."
Hmmm. Actually, it's possible they HAVE mated, think Vince vaughan.
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Did the sky suddenly go dark for a quick second? That was God rolling his eyes. (MK)
Suri is totally saying "prune"!
Really? It's friggin cold here.. and I'm about 300 miles SOUTH of NY! What is she wrapped in- a coat or a blanket? Why the hell isnt this child wearing a jacket- or at least long sleeves?? Are the Cruises THAT delusional that they think NYC weather is the same as CA weather?
I need 354 more votes to take the lead!
YOU CAN GIVE ME THOSE 354 MORE VOTES!!! It's as easy as clicking the link and clicking "Bomb It"
http://www.pronto.com/87060-WM?successMsg=true
I think Suri is so cute, despite the fact that her real dad is Xenu and her mom is Katie "I traded my soul to be an A-list star" Holmes.
@ Mix Well-
*claps hands*
Yippee! You're here! I've been thinkin about you, kid. You're growing on me. You have potential.
I would like to help you refine your snark. You could be my grasshopper, and I your Mr. Mojito, or Mr. Yamagatchi, or whatever the old guy's name is.
Together we can get you a black belt in Dlisted.
Whaddaya say? You in?
xo
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Did the sky suddenly go dark for a quick second? That was God rolling his eyes. (MK)
Riddle me this...Did Tom Cruise go get his nose fixed to match the baby girl or did they fix hers to match her "daddys"?
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
Siobhan on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 6:56pm.
Its all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then, it's hilarious! lol
How can you not wind up a brat when that guy is (posing) as your dad? I see the face, the vibe and the new clothes every day and all the posed pap shots and I think...she'll be a monster, yes.
yes?
This man makes me sick. I would be willing to bet he wrapped her up in that coat, carried her out and walked back and forth in front of the building just to get himself in the tabloids. See? I'm still in NY with my "wife" and "daughter" I'm still relevant and not gay, no not gay at all!
Suri probably refuses to put a coat on until they take her somewhere kid friendly, like a park or something. Tom probably cant do that in his sneeker pumps. Its got to be weird to walk with your foot starting halfway up the heel of the shoe.
Say no to white sneakers. He seems to be holding her rather oddly, almost like he's never carried her before.
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
wait...is this in NY? seriously? it's 40 degrees today....why isn't she wearing a coat?
*sigh* cookoo people I guess
Suri is a cute lil' fucker, er, fucktress,don't get me wrong, but that main pic of her confirms my suspicion she will grow up to be a MAJOR CUNT...I mean, the look on her face is like..."M'mmm, bitches, Suri in da house, and yeah, my lily white ass bein' carried by a movie star, so whachu gonna do 'bout it? Yeah, I thought so... Where the VIP be room be at?"
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Wow, I see Suri way more than Posh! With either tom or katie. Way more. I think tom calls the paps and now katies does too.
Mixxxx Welllll!!!!
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Did the sky suddenly go dark for a quick second? That was God rolling his eyes. (MK)
Go way TOm! Go live in some kind of Cult camp with the scientologists and leave Katie and Suri here to get back to normal!
Girl is ok looking, but I get a spoiled brat vibe from her. Must suck to be her sitter.
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!
Submitted by Cooper2008 on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 8:03pm.
BJ JINKINS is a great star. His blog and photos were found at wealthy men for beautiful women personals site " sugar baby myinterracialmatch.com" last week. Is he single now? Just curious.
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Did the sky suddenly go dark for a quick second? That was God rolling his eyes. (MK)
Submitted by stake_spike on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 8:05pm.
And he isn't always photgraphed either. This past week I've seen him a lot but 2 weeks ago I ddn't see any photo of him (only Katie). So at least he's not an attention whore.
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Nobody wants to take his picture ALONE. If he isn't with baby SciFi or KatieBot his pictures are a big ZERO.
I want to fault him because he is Tom Cruise but at least he's not like all those other assholes yelling and trying to cover up his face. He knows he's a celebrity and he knows he'll be photographed and he's okay with it.
And he isn't always photgraphed either. This past week I've seen him a lot but 2 weeks ago I ddn't see any photo of him (only Katie). So at least he's not an attention whore like that lying cunt Posh. I think poor little Suri and Katie always get their pictures taken because Katie basically does the same thing everyday theater, home, theater home. they must camp outside of their building.
He makes me sick. And he's getting uglier by the day.
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Heath Ledger
4/4/79 - 1/22/08
Sorry, but this little girl is beautiful. Parents are wackadoodles, but she is lovely.
Suri's cute, but Tom has sphincter mouth.
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Did the sky suddenly go dark for a quick second? That was God rolling his eyes. (MK)
Does this asshole ever get done dragging this kid around for the cameras? It's so obvious I'm fucking embarrassed for him. Dumbass. Yes Tom, Valkyrie sucked ass and failed so... show us your kid!!
Hate him.