The Photoshop Awards: Vadge's Louis Vuitton Ads
It must have taken dozens of airbrush artists hundreds of hours to make Vadge's skin look like a freshly peeled and scrubbed piece of Jicama. Vadge stood over them with a whip and shouted, "We're not done until my skin looks like the inner thigh of a newborn baby! No, the inner thigh of a fetus!" The Photoshoppers probably finally gave up and just copy and pasted a photo of Vadge's face from the 80s.
The photo shoot itself was also pretty dangerous. When Vadge opened her legs, 4 or 5 crew members were sucked into her crotch. You can faintly hear their screams when she walks.
And let's be real for a second. If Louis Vuitton wanted someone flexible, they should've called up the Sheena from America's Next Top Model. That bitch really knows how to sell a bag with her legs in the air. Real talk.
P.S. - I'm so proud of myself for not making an "old bag" or "leathery vagina" joke!
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Why must this nasty old ho always have her legs open? GAH - I feel sorry for whomever was present at that photoshoot; they're going to have nightmares of that roided-up vadge for the rest of their lives!
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Heath Ledger
4/4/79 - 1/22/08
Gah I HATE Coach bags. Every hor in Washington has one, it's so irritating. No offense to the Coach fans, I'm just all Coached out! Fake LV is everywhere in Peoria. I love my D&Bs. Yes I am a brand snob. Fuck it, I guess it gives me a false sense of worth LOL
I don't mind paying more for a bag that will last me a lifetime but that's just me.
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2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
Submitted by Bella on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 1:12pm.
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It took Morgan Freeman at least 30(?!)-odd years to climb the ladder of success in a business that rarely appreciates or rewards genuine talent nowadays.
*Chuckle* I remember watching him on "The Electric Company" when I was kid. He was a stand-out talent even then.
I loved him "The Bucket List". That movie was obviously dark, but hilarious!
I love Coach classics.
My dad did work on a Cadilac escalade that had a custom paintjob with the Lurry Vurton symbols all over it along with a Vurry Vurton interior. I thought it was pretty tacky. I hate it when designer materials consist of on their ugly freeking logos plastered all over it.
Thank you Clarisse!♥
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"Mewy Kwishmas every body!!"
She is constantly reminding us of how "spiritual" she is and yet continues to display herself as a vulgarian.
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"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires."
- Susan B. Anthony
No, it's Lurry Vurton!
Submitted by Mrs. Gosling on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 1:28pm.
I like Coach (their plain leather ones are nice) but honestly any bag that doesn't have HUGE logos on them is a good start. It just looks hella tacky, its like saying "LOOK AT ME I HAVE MONEY WEEEEE!"
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Searching for a man with porn-star looks who is also stylish, classy, and refined.
Mrs. Gosling, I adore Coach. The original classy line, not so much what they have going on now. I have a raspberry suede hobo (handbag, not a frosted train-triding person) my husband bought me for Christmas an eon ago; I need to dig it out; it's very festive.
By and large, the allure of the overly studded, patchworked, buckled, Bedazzled stuff they sell to rich people with no taste just escapes me.
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"Things are fucked up at the North Pole. Mrs. Claus caught me fucking her sister, now I'm out on my ass."
Mrs G.,
I LOVED Coach!! Coach Fox and Luther! Dauber was my favorite!
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Ein minuten bitte! Ich habe eine kleinen problemo avec diese religiones. (He was from everywhere)
Did they photo Vadge at Lucky Strike? They make the best french fries.
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"I'll go unlock the kids and make us all breakfast." - Theodore Bagwell
Submitted by Bossy on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 12:35pm.
Man, this woman really need to become irrelevant already.
Bossy, Vadge is irrelevant. She just didn't get the memo.
You know, if she didn't take herself so goddamn seriously, she'd be much more attractive.
has the botox rendered her unable to smile?
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
What a crappy looking bag ... oh, I thought you meant Madonna.
What do you guys think about Coach?
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Happy Holidays
the shoes are fierce though, but those heels...i don't even know if posh can wear them...
Madonna is overexposed just like the Louis Vuitton bags. That's why Louis Vuitton it's not what it used to be. everybody has a fake one these days. it just seems tacky.
Not a Vuitton fan either. Those shoes are seriously fug and only appropriate for a Gristle Monster.
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"Things are fucked up at the North Pole. Mrs. Claus caught me fucking her sister, now I'm out on my ass."
Submitted by Mabel Hodges on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 1:13pm.
Mrs. K. I met her at The Palace (nightclub in NYC) up in the DJ booth.
^^^
well, as everyone already knows (if you've heard this before...TOO BAD) I ran into Vadge at LAX about 3 years ago. She didn't look awful, but she is no porcelain skinned beauty.
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"You smell funny. Please wash that."
does madonna not own any pants? she is always in fishnets!!! the purses suck. the jacket in one of the photos is cool.
http://theblackstrapons.blogspot.com/
Submitted by Romy on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 1:05pm.
I'm glad you mentioned the legs being uneven. It looks very odd once you notice it.
Not a Louis Vuitton fan either. They're considered a little trashy around here.
Actually, those who dropped the name Jocelyn Wildenstein were more on target when talking about who this hack is starting to resemble.
I still can't get over Vadge's monster face from the snippet of Shitney's crock-u-mentary that I saw. Her face is seriously starting to resemble Cher's in movement and appearance. But, in the case of Cher, it is EXPECTED because everybody KNOWS she a plastic surgery junky.
I hope louis vuitton are the next biotches to announce they're going over. anyone who'd hire this hag to hawk their product is seriously lacking in business acumen. and I agree, those bags are dayhum tacky.
Submitted by Clarisse on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 1:15pm.
I wanna blow bubbles!!!!!
thanks doll
♥
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"You smell funny. Please wash that."
Submitted by Bella on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 1:12pm.
Just because you have a whole lot of money doesn´t mean you have to waste it on some obcenely expensive crap you don´t need.
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obcenely expensive crap they don´t need gives some people a sense of worth.
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"You smell funny. Please wash that."
Mrs K / Miss P,
In honor of your crankiness...
There were these three ducks who lived on this peaceful pond. They got into trouble and were sent to the duck who was in charge of the pond, whose name was Bill. The first one stepped up in front of Bill and looked at the ground. Bill asked, "What's your name?" The little duck replied, "Duck." "Why did you get sent to me?" queried Bill. "I was blowing bubbles in the pond," answered Duck. "You know you're not supposed to do that. It's against the rules. You're suspended from the pond for one week." Duck waddled away. The second duck approached Bill. Bill asked this duck, "What's your name?" The little duck replied, "Duck Duck." "Why did you get sent to me?" queried Bill again. "I was blowing bubbles in the pond," answered Duck Duck. "You know you're not supposed to do that. It's against the rules. You're suspended from the pond for one week." Duck Duck waddled away. Now Bill, was getting annoyed and thought he had discovered a pattern. When the third little duck waddled up to him Bill said, "Let me guess. You're Duck Duck Duck?" "Nope" replied the little duck. "I'm bubbles."
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Ein minuten bitte! Ich habe eine kleinen problemo avec diese religiones. (He was from everywhere)
Who is that woman? That's not Madonna, the Shiny She Hulk!
"Just wondering but how many of you bitches acctually read the book? because Im thinkin not many of you have the brain spain too read...."
-Mrs.Hardin21 on Twilight
Mrs. K. I met her at The Palace (nightclub in NYC) up in the DJ booth. About 20 years ago. She is tiny. Kinda dumb. More than kinda shrewd. Scary person.
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Love,
Mabel
How little we understand what touches off that tingle,
That sudden explosion when two tingles intermingle. --Mrs. Kravitz
Submitted by Green Is Good on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 1:05pm.
Just because it costs more than most people's monthly mortgage payment doesn't mean it's the epitome of class and elegance. Or worth buying.
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Exactly!!! Well said.
After Morgan Freeman got in that car accicent a few months ago and the news reported what kind of car he owned and was driving (just some average 10 year old car) he got even more respect from me. Just because you have a whole lot of money doesn´t mean you have to waste it on some obcenely expensive crap you don´t need.
How many filters are on the camera? Money does not erase the fugly.
She is actually a tiny little thing.
I seen her in person IRL.
itsy bitsy thing she is.
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"You smell funny. Please wash that."
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 12:56pm.
I will admit there is a part of me that begrudgingly admires her capacity to keep on keepin' on.
If I had 1/100 of her will and drive I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it.
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But it's a perky bum. That has to count for a lot!
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You JJers don’t mind if I remove my panties as I type this do you?… TL incatneato.
Ewww. The wierd legs!! Aw, fuck it! FUCK Photoshop and and these dumb, vanity obsessed whores.
FUCK THEM ALL.
(Wow. I'm on a tangent today.)
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Love,
Mabel
How little we understand what touches off that tingle,
That sudden explosion when two tingles intermingle. --Mrs. Kravitz
God, she is nasty as fucking hell. I'm all for women looking great into their late 40's, 50's, 60's, etc. But there is just something about a woman her age spreading her legs that makes me want to start hurling milk curds after a several day vodka binge. Gross and nasty as hell.
I can't quit you babe, so I guess I got to put you down for a while--Led Zeppelin
HA! Love the 5 million bracelets they put on her arms to hide how manly they are. The shoes are FUG...the purse is OVERRATED and FUGLY as well...i wouldnt be caught dead carrying one...even a REAL one. They wouldn't go with a single pair of shoes I own anyway! :P
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All we are....is dust in the wind, dude.
-Ted "Theodore" Logan
That handbag is really ugly. Although I do like the large bead straps.
Why would any woman WANT to have that thing hanging off her arm, beside the obvious status symbol factor?
Just because it costs more than most people's monthly mortgage payment doesn't mean it's the epitome of class and elegance. Or worth buying.
Yes, exactly! How much money IS enough?!?! And I doubt this is very "Khabballah".
She's really just sort of an asshole now, isn't she?
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Love,
Mabel
How little we understand what touches off that tingle,
That sudden explosion when two tingles intermingle. --Mrs. Kravitz
Just like the photochoppers screwed up Kimbo Stewert and those other hags' legs, they did that with Madge too. Look at her right upper leg, it's much shorter than the left one.
I was looking at that left leg before i saw the other one, and I was thinking 'hm I thought Madge had little midget legs' but then I saw the other one and realized the fakery.
Her face looks out of focus, like it's cut from a different photo altogether.
I'm so sick of seeing her plastic Joan Rivers hag face everywhere. She hasn't been relevant or entertaining since the late 80's, go join Susie Q, Tiffany and the rest of your old school pop hos in retirement already.
All hail the Empress in her new clothes.
Um, yeah. That's exactly what I mean.
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Love,
Mabel
How little we understand what touches off that tingle,
That sudden explosion when two tingles intermingle. --Mrs. Kravitz
Those LV bags are the ugliest and tackiest bags I´ve seen. I think it´s outrageous to pay a thousand dollars for a bag in general but to waste money on these particular bags just baffles me... I just don´t get brand snobs, all this shit is probably made in the same sweat shops in China, Vietnam etc. as the cheaper crap.
There are soooooo many fakes down here in So. Fla., it's just unreal. Every little hoochie carries one. I'm like, "ok, honey, you just rolled up to TGI Friday's in your 1994 rusted-out Hyundai with missing hubcaps, those toes aint seen a pedicure since the Reagan administration, but I'm supposed to believe you're carring around an $4,000 LV bag? Ok.
Hate the bags, with their stupid logos. Wouldn't carry one if you paid me. Hate the ginormous bag thing too. You see these itty bitty girls carrying gigantic bags. I blame the Trollsens for this God-awful look. I really don't understand the shoes here...
Whats with that hairy orange merkin??
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All we are....is dust in the wind, dude.
-Ted "Theodore" Logan
Submitted by Kaylee on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 12:53pm.
I WANT THAT PURSE!!!!__
^^
two words: Canal Street
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"You smell funny. Please wash that."
Submitted by lizzieb on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 12:56pm.
Oh lady please stop. You have enough money so close your legs and, I dunno write some songs if you must. Or take up knitting. Take your kids swimming or read a book. If I have to look at your labia one more time I might do something drastic. There is a reason that it looks daft for a 50 year old to behave like this- no, not 'ageism' but the fact that you really should have grown out of showing the world your crotch by now.
first thing I thought when I read this is...how much money is enough? i mean, really? how much more money do you need madonna?
Submitted by Salem13 on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 12:37pm.
Louis Vuitton bags are so fuckin TACKY. I can't count how many ghetto ass chicks I see on the subway with those things.
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Amen. Actually, anything infested with the brand's logo is fucking tacky to me.
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" If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style."
I hate to have to disagree with you (which I rarely do) but Madonna does actually look great and has great skin for a 50whatever year old. This is much less photo shopped than any other celebs advertisement ads.
Oh lady please stop. You have enough money so close your legs and, I dunno write some songs if you must. Or take up knitting. Take your kids swimming or read a book. If I have to look at your labia one more time I might do something drastic. There is a reason that it looks daft for a 50 year old to behave like this- no, not 'ageism' but the fact that you really should have grown out of showing the world your crotch by now.
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I do not often speak bluntly and unkindly about my fellow human beings however I feel I must make an exception here. This cake is vanity gone mad madam!