Thursday, December 4th 2008
The Birthday Cake Of My Dreams
Crunk + Disorderly, one of my favorite blogs in the history of the internets, posted these amazing pictures of what's going to be my next birthday cake. I can't wait to take these pictures down to my local Food Emporium's bakery department to request that they recreate this masterpiece. I want double frosting, though.
The NSFWish pictures are after the jump. The chick holding the birthday girl's hair is a true friend. Only real friends will hold back your hair while you're sucking on cake dick. JUMP!!!
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It looks like it says:
Happy Bath Kaw Girl Cumm Get It
Is this correct?
Is this a hookers party with her fellow whores & pimps?
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People Suck!
Submitted by chefcammi on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 10:40pm.
I'm teaching my sons to call their private area penis and if this baby is a girl I'll teach her the correct term for her private area.. cock garage...
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Haha!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Youtube Gallery
I thought the cake in my avie was bad. This is all sorts of wrong- reminds me of Madge blowing a bottle in that film of hers. We all know how to suck dick dear, some of us do it in private.
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I do not often speak bluntly and unkindly about my fellow human beings however I feel I must make an exception here. This cake is vanity gone mad madam!
Nothing usually fazes me, but for some reason that I can't explain I'm really glad I wasn't at that party. Really glad.
Now we finally know what happened to that Laura chick from Family Matters.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Way too small. Girl should have held out for a bigger piece of cake.
Anna p!!! those cakes omg! looks like an open wound. ick.
the butt cake is nice.
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You JJers don’t mind if I remove my panties as I type this do you?… TL incatneato.
MK where can I order this Masterpiece? And why have my friends and family not given this to me for all my birthdays in the past 29 years? I feel neglected and abused by being derived of such birthday brilliance all of my life! There is just no justice in this world. And to think I had to suck real peen on so many festive occasions when I could have had this confectionary ecstasy sliding down my throat with a mere phone call and some food stamps!
This Means War!
"Come on Gloria..."
-Hank Azaria "The Birdcage"
The sad thing is it's actually her dad's birthday.
They couldn't have just gotten her a Fudgy the Whale cake?
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I'm just here for the beer.
masturbakers, yo...http://www.masturbakers.com/ is it weird that i get turned on by their cakes? well, anyway, they're on 12th, not too far to go for some of the hottest cakes everrr
I've always like peepee weewee sounds a tad dismissive. Plus peepee is unisex!
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You JJers don’t mind if I remove my panties as I type this do you?… TL incatneato.
Submitted by Bondagebarbie on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 10:16pm.
Wonder if it has creme filling and if she swallowed.
*
Does anyone ever deliberately order a jelly donut? blech. the closest I ever came to doing that is buying a boston creme, and I won't be doing that again!
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You JJers don’t mind if I remove my panties as I type this do you?… TL incatneato.
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 10:13pm.
@jiggy and z:
It's not what Penis and Vagina refers to - it's just that I don't like the words - they don't roll off my tongue...
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True dat.
And anyone in tune with the universe (like us) knows that the Universe says "wee-wee." ;-)
xo
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Did the sky suddenly go dark for a quick second? That was God rolling his eyes. (MK)
umm, the birthday girl is "gifted"...
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he doesn't know anything, he didn't do anything, and he doesn't give a shit...
I'm teaching my sons to call their private area penis and if this baby is a girl I'll teach her the correct term for her private area.. cock garage...
JUST KIDDING!!!!
Pussy, of course!
Joking, I'm JOKING!
VOTE FOR MY WORST FASHION MOMENT!
It's as easy as clicking the link& clicking"Bomb It" http://www.pronto.com/87060-WM?successMsg=true
VOTE NOW & EVERYDAY!!!
..thats what i call fon-dont!
seriously going to bed now.. had to comment on cake dick one more time!
VOTE FOR MY WORST FASHION MOMENT!
It's as easy as clicking the link& clicking"Bomb It" http://www.pronto.com/87060-WM?successMsg=true
VOTE NOW & EVERYDAY!!!
Submitted by z-listed on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 9:59pm.
Why did you call a penis a "wee-wee"? Why not just call it the mane it already has, PENIS? You morons who make up baby words for body parts drive me crazy!
Do you make up names for the elbow? How about the foot? Hand? Anything other than private body parts? No wonder kids get the idea that certain body parts are "dirty" or that something is wrong with them.
Grow up, wee-wee parents, and stop being stupid with your kids!!!
Um...wow, angry much? I, for one, don't like to hear a 2 year old say "vagina"...it's just not right to me. In no way is teaching them a different name for their body parts teaching them that it's "dirty". Adults refer to their vagina by many names, and I don't think it's "stupid". To each his or her own. They know what a penis is, they just don't use the term on a regular basis. They aren't little adults and shouldn't be expected to speak like one. You grow up and stop being so damn judgemental! Damn...
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Foreman: "You're addicted to conflict."
House: "[looking at his Vicodin] They changed the name?"
It's like the Hannah Montana birthday cake for adults.
Wonder if it has creme filling and if she swallowed.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
http://www.myspace.com/384080529
Now that she has tasted some white dick ~~ Wonder which she now prefers?? LOL
@jiggy and z:
For reals. I don't like the way Penis sounds. I say "cock". And I don't like Vagina sounds. I have many names for that. Vajayjay, cooch, snatch (if I'm mad) and girl-part. I'm actually sure I have more. I gave my vajayjay all kinds of cute names cuz I love it. I love cock too but really, the one name suffices. It's the same way with Gods and Goddesses. Goddesses tend to have many names while Gods generally only have one, so I feel in tune with the universe that way.
It's not what Penis and Vagina refers to - it's just that I don't like the words - they don't roll off my tongue...
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Youtube Gallery
Submitted by z-listed on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 9:59pm.
Wee-wee is a username for a body part. Such as "z-listed" here on this site.
Sometimes usernames are preferable to the ugly sound of the real thing.
For example, if your name were Hulga Gertrude Grock, I would indeed prefer to refer to you as "z."
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Did the sky suddenly go dark for a quick second? That was God rolling his eyes. (MK)
Hey Sheeps,
Say hi to your mutha for me:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Youtube Gallery
GTFO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by domepikachu on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 5:52pm.
you said weenis. I love that word. I call my cat Linus Weenis when he pisses me off.
Laughin my ass off...OffT my 8 yr old son busted out the word "weenis" one day out of the blue. I had been calling it wee-wee for both of my boys since they could talk. Well, I guess one day my oldest heard the word penis and decided he'd rename his...so out of the bathroom he comes, "Mom, my weenis is itching". I think sweet tea came out of my nose. So now our family refers to all little boy penis as "weenis"...Yay for the weenis!!
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Why did you call a penis a "wee-wee"? Why not just call it the mane it already has, PENIS? You morons who make up baby words for body parts drive me crazy!
Do you make up names for the elbow? How about the foot? Hand? Anything other than private body parts? No wonder kids get the idea that certain body parts are "dirty" or that something is wrong with them.
Grow up, wee-wee parents, and stop being stupid with your kids!!!
Stoned_Chic
I am pissed..she better not play tink, stupid bitch.
Justsayin that was pretty funny!
How gauche! We were taught as kids that penis should be served to your guests with a silver cake server.
A weenus is your elbow. My teenage son loves this fact.
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Love,
Mabel
How little we understand what touches off that tingle,
That sudden explosion when two tingles intermingle. --Mrs. Kravitz
EEWW I just threw up.
Submitted by domepikachu on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 5:52pm.
you said weenis. I love that word. I call my cat Linus Weenis when he pisses me off.
Laughin my ass off...OffT my 8 yr old son busted out the word "weenis" one day out of the blue. I had been calling it wee-wee for both of my boys since they could talk. Well, I guess one day my oldest heard the word penis and decided he'd rename his...so out of the bathroom he comes, "Mom, my weenis is itching". I think sweet tea came out of my nose. So now our family refers to all little boy penis as "weenis"...Yay for the weenis!!
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Foreman: "You're addicted to conflict."
House: "[looking at his Vicodin] They changed the name?"
not to be a prude but doesn't "cumm" have one "m"? chickenhead mchoodrat welcomes some of her own kind to dlisted. there's your 15 seconds of fame hoodrat. make your mama(s) proud. your dad could care less because he doesn't even know you exist.
That cake is straight outta the Lexington Market in Baltimore, hon.
Don't swallow!!
and here I was blowing candles like an idiot *smh*
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I smacked a bitch and I liked it.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 7:00pm.
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hahahaha I am honored.
That is the opposite of classy. I'd slap someone if they got me that. Save the kinky shit for behind closed doors and go wild, but in public...really? Eww.
LOL@Mrs. K! It looks good like that:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Youtube Gallery
Thank you Mrs. K!
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... they let Sarah Jessica Parker on TV and she looks like a foot - Peter Griffin from Family Guy.
Slutty
Check out my new siggy.
Pretty cool, huh?
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I think your MySpace page has enough pictures of you displaying dismembered penises in your mouth.
@alleycat:
I happen to be a straight-up sex machine and I agree ENTIRELY! People are TOTALLY blinding themselves to all the fabulousness that life has to offer in favour of being sexy. It's sad.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Youtube Gallery
Also, to continue running this train off its track:
I read this book over Thanksgiving weekend called "Women At Work In Medieval Europe" which was all about how there were plenty of women doctors and landowners and artisans and business owners. While I suppose women have been oppressed and treated as chattel in some places during some periods of history, we have to stop thinking that women have been victims forever and that we're newly liberated. (And anyway, we're NOT) There has always been plenty of respect for women who are able and competent.
Submitted by Khandi on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:48pm.
Mrs. K do you know he Jewish term for the 'evil eye'
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R U kidding. It was the first word out of my mouth!!!
there is no standardized spelling for Yiddish words in English so you'll see it in a varity of ways, but here is one...Kinenhora
[copied and pasted]
Our Jewish forebears were a rather superstitious lot. They got the notion that an evil eye roved around the world, seeking all things wholesome and good, in order to maliciously spoil them. Amulets were worn to ward it off--e.g. the upraised hand with an eye (a good eye) in its palm, the "Chamsa" of our cousins the Arabs who harbored similar beliefs.
Because of the evil eye, people were reluctant to praise anything, lest its attention be attracted. To any words which could have such effect, they immediately appended "Kinenhora" to stop the evil eye (and sometimes also spitting to the side for emphasis). It is really is a contraction of three Yiddish words. "Kein" in German means "no" (as in "we have no bananas today") or "without," becoming "Kin" in Yiddish. And "en hora" is the Yiddish form of the Hebrew "Eyn Hara" --"Eyn" is "eye of" and "Hara" means "of evil." Thus a kind neighbor might lean over a crib and say "A beautiful baby you have, Kinenhora," or someone may tell "I am 65 but still feel great, Kinenhora."
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"You smell funny. Please wash that."
Approx. 20% of people in the U.S. have Herpes, not to mention the rates of HIV and AIDS, so maybe it's time to give the dick sucking demos a rest for a minute....and move on to the dance floor for the night's obligatory simulated fucking. Maybe that will put the hungry sex monster to rest for the night. All I'm saying is that it would be nice to see this party outside in a park picnicking or something, enjoying nature and eating food that WILL NOT invariably lead to diabetes. Does life really ask for this much raunchiness? Couldn't she just hug everyone at this party...that would be far more interesting to see than this. We could all use more hugs, and the mens can go soak their musty, diseased dicks and balls in vinegar and rubbing alcohol!
You're a REBEL Mrs.K!!! Fer sure! ;P
(i wont tell though..lol)
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All we are....is dust in the wind, dude.
-Ted "Theodore" Logan
@Slutty:
SHhhhhhhhhh! I do NOT need Jimmy Bocca getting a hold of info like that! He has yet to succumb to my charms...but when he does....
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Youtube Gallery
Submitted by NovaNightly on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:50pm.
So....I'm glad you aren't having sexy-times through a sheet!!! ;P How awful that would be!!
^^^
I have sexay TIMES WITHOUT A SHEET and I EAT PORK.
SHHHHHHH, DON'T TELL!!!!!!!
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"You smell funny. Please wash that."
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:43pm.
Nova, according to the Talmud...
"A man has a duty to give his wife sex regularly and to ensure that sex is pleasurable for her. He is also obligated to watch for signs that his wife wants sex, and to offer it to her without her asking for it."
Whoa. That is very nice. I just wish they didn't think women were unclean even after her period is over. That really bugs me. But I do appreciate the obligation to pleasure the woman.
Besides: isn't the sex better if you're making your partner crazy with pleasure?
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:42pm.
Also, if that were MY cake there would be one more picture. The picture of me proudly displaying the dismembered cake penis in my mouth!
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I think your MySpace page has enough pictures of you displaying dismembered penises in your mouth.
Snopes said that hole in the sheet thing is FALSE. The idea of it basically goes against Jewish belief. Right Mrs K?
So....I'm glad you aren't having sexy-times through a sheet!!! ;P How awful that would be!!
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All we are....is dust in the wind, dude.
-Ted "Theodore" Logan