Thursday, December 4th 2008
The Birthday Cake Of My Dreams
Crunk + Disorderly, one of my favorite blogs in the history of the internets, posted these amazing pictures of what's going to be my next birthday cake. I can't wait to take these pictures down to my local Food Emporium's bakery department to request that they recreate this masterpiece. I want double frosting, though.
The NSFWish pictures are after the jump. The chick holding the birthday girl's hair is a true friend. Only real friends will hold back your hair while you're sucking on cake dick. JUMP!!!
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Mrs. K do you know he Jewish term for the 'evil eye' and what you say after someone compliments your baby to prevent it! You mentioned it a looooong while back but I just cant remember it.
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... they let Sarah Jessica Parker on TV and she looks like a foot - Peter Griffin from Family Guy.
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:45pm.
Mormons are interesting
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"You smell funny. Please wash that."
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:41pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:37pm.
PS. I thought the sex-sheet was a Mormon thing.
^^^
maybe you are thinking of the "sacred garments."
check it out...
http://www.mormoncurtain.com/topic_garments.html
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LOL! My ex Mormon friend had those! I begged and begged her to let me have them so I could wear with some other shit (don't ask - I'm bizarre) but she was all like they're SACRED. I was like: They're fucking HOLEY - not Holy! They're not HOLY if you don't hang with those dudes anymore! Funny thing is she was storing them here and ended up travelling without picking them up. I'm on the fence about it....
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Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:42pm.
I have never read her but I would like to.
I hear her books are good and I love detective fiction.
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"You smell funny. Please wash that."
Nova, according to the Talmud...
"A man has a duty to give his wife sex regularly and to ensure that sex is pleasurable for her. He is also obligated to watch for signs that his wife wants sex, and to offer it to her without her asking for it."
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"You smell funny. Please wash that."
Mrs. K.
very interesting read
I love readig Faye Kellerman's books because the detective's wife rina is in the orthodox jewish sect.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Also, if that were MY cake there would be one more picture. The picture of me proudly displaying the dismembered cake penis in my mouth!
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Its the kabaklavalalalalla, isnt it?...that does the sheet thingy? Oh that can't be right cuz Vadge would never screw through a sheet. Hmmm....*scratches head*...i also heard that they can only do it once a month....through the sheet. NOT FUN!! lmao
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All we are....is dust in the wind, dude.
-Ted "Theodore" Logan
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:37pm.
PS. I thought the sex-sheet was a Mormon thing.
^^^
maybe you are thinking of the "sacred garments."
check it out...
http://www.mormoncurtain.com/topic_garments.html
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"You smell funny. Please wash that."
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:37pm.
But the Talmud also obliges a wife to care for her appearance, so though a hat or scarf will do, many Orthodox women favor wigs, the more natural looking the better."
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I knew THAT, actually. It's weird - I have a lot of Jews and Japanese in my life. I find the wig thing pretty funny because it looks like hair! i don't get it - if you're tryna be modest about your sensual energy then why get something so sensual??? LOL ah...modern times!
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This reminds of someone I used to call Hollywood as in some girls won't but Holly would.
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I'm just here for the beer.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:22pm.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:14pm.
on topic, there is a sect of Jews who really do have sex through a hole in a sheet. I saw it on some talk show a long time ago
OMG. My friend was married to a Muslim guy yrs. ago, and she said that he did that and that's how she got pregnant w/ their first kid. lol
Rich and famous people suck.
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RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:23pm.
The Talmud specifies both the quantity and quality of sex that a man must give his wife. It specifies the frequency of sexual obligation based on the husband's occupation,
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Wow. So what does that translate to for today's like Entertainment Manager or Public Relations or...Television Star!? I betcha it's a lot.
PS. I thought the sex-sheet was a Mormon thing.
♥ ThreadKilla!
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Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:32pm.
Actually I had heard that, too but I googled it and they all said it was a BUBBE-MYSEH (old wives tale)
The very religious woman do wear wigs all the time, that is true.
"Women's hair exudes sensual energy, the Talmud teaches, and covering it insures a married woman's modesty. But the Talmud also obliges a wife to care for her appearance, so though a hat or scarf will do, many Orthodox women favor wigs, the more natural looking the better."
Here read this...
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9C07E5D61F3EF934A15757C0A...
just the facts, Hoff, just the facts...
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"You smell funny. Please wash that."
That's a small but thicke penis
蜘龍====================龍蜘
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
Well shit...I'm never NOT on drugs....no wonder I dont get much of teh sexzzz!
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All we are....is dust in the wind, dude.
-Ted "Theodore" Logan
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:23pm.
Any stories you may have heard about Jewish sex occurring through a hole in a sheet are purely an urban legend.
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So when he covers up my face with a sheet that has little breathing hole, I shouldn't believe him when he says that it's because he's Jewish?
ROTFLMAO!!!! That's true friendship!
"The chick holding the birthday girl's hair is a true friend. Only real friends will hold back your hair while you're sucking on cake dick."
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Schandenfraude
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:23pm.
Is your dog single? I'd like to fullfill her needs.
Mrs. K.
I like that part too!
I really seriously remember this small sect of jews who were talking about sheet hole sex.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Submitted by Sluttsville on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:22pm.
If I hear that I've missed an episode of "The Real Housewives of Chabad-Lubavitch", well I don't want to live anymore.
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I need to change my Depends!
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"You smell funny. Please wash that."
Ha..before I clicked on the link, I just knew it was gonna be some girl that could swallow the whole thing..lol
That cake is the shit! I want one.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:26pm.
Mrs. K
no sex while drunk?
there goes my fucking sex life.
^^^
I KNOW!!!!
I was thinking the same thing.
Sex w/o drugs and or alcohol? How does that work?
I do like this part however:
"A man has a duty to give his wife sex regularly and to ensure that sex is pleasurable for her. He is also obligated to watch for signs that his wife wants sex, and to offer it to her without her asking for it."
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"You smell funny. Please wash that."
Mrs. K
no sex while drunk?
there goes my fucking sex life.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Submitted by Sluttsville on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:22pm.
LOL
no, really I'm pretty sure it was on the Phil Donahue show back in the day.
from what I can remember, the women have to cover their hair to leave the house and they aren't allowed to ever cut it.
And they truly have intercourse so that only the penis and vagina touch, and I think, only when they want children.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Kosher Sex:
Sex should only be experienced in a time of joy. Sex for selfish personal satisfaction, without regard for the partner's pleasure, is wrong and evil. A man may never force his wife to have sex. A couple may not have sexual relations while drunk or quarreling. Sex may never be used as a weapon against a spouse, either by depriving the spouse of sex or by compelling it. It is a serious offense to use sex (or lack thereof) to punish or manipulate a spouse.
Sex is the woman's right, not the man's. A man has a duty to give his wife sex regularly and to ensure that sex is pleasurable for her. He is also obligated to watch for signs that his wife wants sex, and to offer it to her without her asking for it. The woman's right to sexual intercourse is referred to as onah, and it is one of a wife's three basic rights (the others are food and clothing), which a husband may not reduce. The Talmud specifies both the quantity and quality of sex that a man must give his wife. It specifies the frequency of sexual obligation based on the husband's occupation, although this obligation can be modified in the ketubah (marriage contract). A man may not take a vow to abstain from sex for an extended period of time, and may not take a journey for an extended period of time, because that would deprive his wife of sexual relations. In addition, a husband's consistent refusal to engage in sexual relations is grounds for compelling a man to divorce his wife, even if the couple has already fulfilled the halakhic obligation to procreate.
Any stories you may have heard about Jewish sex occurring through a hole in a sheet are purely an urban legend.
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"You smell funny. Please wash that."
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:14pm.
on topic, there is a sect of Jews who really do have sex through a hole in a sheet. I saw it on some talk show a long time ago
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If I hear that I've missed an episode of "The Real Housewives of Chabad-Lubavitch", well I don't want to live anymore.
My wedding cake:
http://www.thecakegallerysf.com/x1ratedcakes/item.nhtml?profile=x1ratedc...
Submitted by Sluttsville on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:16pm.
Me thinks that someone has been sneaking a peek.
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just once
*looking down at floor*
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"You smell funny. Please wash that."
go ahead
google it
sex hole sheets
I dare ya
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"You smell funny. Please wash that."
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:12pm.
his penis is pink, not his socks!!!
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Me thinks that someone has been sneaking a peek.
Okay, I'm not even going to lie...I like giving head, but this kind of...really grosses me out.
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:10pm.
I am starting to unbelieve these stories, Mrs. K. I think you're gonna have to perform some kinda miracle to restore my faith!
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are you accusing me of *gasp* making stuff up?
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"You smell funny. Please wash that."
Frito
"Yeah, he's gross."
on topic, there is a sect of Jews who really do have sex through a hole in a sheet. I saw it on some talk show a long time ago.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Submitted by Sluttsville on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:10pm.
his penis is pink, not his socks!!!
funny lady
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAQHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
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"You smell funny. Please wash that."
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 5:53pm.
I'm not anti sex, mind you.
I just think it should be done in the dark with a sheet with a hole in it between the two parties.
I've never actually seen Pudge's penis.
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I am starting to unbelieve these stories, Mrs. K. I think you're gonna have to perform some kinda miracle to restore my faith!
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Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:06pm.
is it pink? I heard they were pink.
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No, Mrs. K... they are black. After all these years and you can't remember that Mr. Kravitz only wears black socks.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:08pm.
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Oh hell yeah, and that poor fucker had BLACKHEADS like you wouldn't believe.
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"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade
disgusting
WEEEEENNNIIISSSSS
Frito, I knew it sucxed to be Jebus, but the poor guy, I never though about no hair care products during biblical times.
bet he smells, too.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Submitted by Sluttsville on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:02pm.
is it pink? I heard they were pink.
Oh, and, Bunny don't do domestic type shit.
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"You smell funny. Please wash that."
NICE CAKE I WANT A BIG WHITE ONE LICKY LICKY SUCK SUCK
I'M JUST THAT FUCKING FABOLOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS $QUEENBUNNY420$
O, that cock is made of cake? BO-RING!
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I'm far from a prude, but I think it's disgusting. Maybe I'm just getting old, but I think there is way too much sex-related stuff everywhere. The stuff on TV nowadays is stuff you had to watch on Cinemax after 11:30 not too long ago.
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cuteness
http://www.zooatlanta.org/animals_panda_cam.php4
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 5:40pm.
Oh yeah? Well I'm not but I agree with you on this one. No class at all. I worked the door at a bar once where 4,5 people started dirty dancing and I swear if no one had stepped in they would've had an orgy right there on the dance floor.
Everybody wants to be an exhibitionist. The saying "get a room already" don't mean bring a camera and record it for everyone.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41APzy5kqBU
Shocking and outrageous.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 5:53pm.
I've never actually seen Pudge's penis.
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Well, you should come and stand outside your bedroom window with me between 9:00-9:30 every night. Also, you should darn that hole in his socks.
LMAO @ Mrs. K
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"Mewy Kwishmas every body!!"
A sheet with a hole??? Thats kinda EWWWWWWW.... lol.
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All we are....is dust in the wind, dude.
-Ted "Theodore" Logan
This is really cute.