St. Angie Is The Highest Paid Actress In The Universe
Saint Angelina Jolie has knocked Reese Witherspoon off her golden throne and is now the highest paid actress in the entire universe according to The Hollywood Reporter. You know some bitchy ass alien is giving me the side-eye because she's the highest paid actress on Mars.
In 2008, Angie's movies including Kung Fu Panda and Wanted totaled $1 billion worldwide. She makes up to $15 million per movie.
I'm sure Saint Angie has it on her "To do list" to donate every last cent she's ever made to the humans of the world. She'll live the rest of her life as a peasant in some shanty town so that every person on this planet can say they've been touched by her kindness. Either that or she'll use her fortune to adopt more kids and finally create a child army big enough to take us all down. Yeah, probably the latter.
The rest of the top 5 looks like this:
2. Julia Roberts
3. Reese Witherspoon
4. Cameron Diaz
5. Katherine Heigl
Wait. Stop. Hold up. Rewind. Put the phone down. Throw the pie away. Choke a kitten. KATHERINE HEEEIGL?! Katherine "makes me want to stick a knife in my peen hole" Heigl is the 5th highest paid actress in the world?! Okay, whoever is paying this ho to act in anything needs to be taken out back and beat with a tree branch by my abuelita.
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Hey, how long was "Wanted" in theatres before it went to DVD?
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Yeah but Lory, you want that face of JA that no plastic surgery in this world can correct?
Submitted by cringe on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 9:18pm.
Submitted by Lory on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 9:09pm.
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Well ... Not this lil black duck! :D
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oi Feisty!... I like that in my whores....
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by SICKITTEN on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 9:04pm.
People who have nothing going for themselves find Angelina Jolie attractive and gorgeous.
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I think you're onto something here. I've been trying to pinpoint it, myself. What is it? What is it, really? What does she give them? Everybody's like - I bought my 4 copies of Wanted today...I'm like: Why THE FUCK did you not buy one and then donate the rest of your money, in commemoration let's say, to your nearest shelter? Because Angelina knows better how to handle your money than you do? It's such a fucking weird perception.
edited for a really tiny mistake that changed the whole sentence. and a comma issue, apparently.
One more - and to add: Exactly, Lory!
♥ ThreadKilla!
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Creemy you funny. There's a porn site where this blond chick makes a living dumping and peeing for pervs. NSFW
http://www.datingrealgirls.com/movies.php
she changed the url but it is Anna D.
ok these comments aren't doing me any good. They are making me wanna stab her! I already can't stand her!
Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 9:17pm.
no doubt.
when people say stuff to me about the greatness of angelina i just think to myself 'how do they not see it?'
I think you're onto something here. I've been trying to pinpoint it, myself. What is it? What is it, really? What does she give them?
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People jumped in the Angelina Jolie wagon because thy thought that by siding the "winner", it somehow made their miserable lives better. They get the man, the looks and the kids, not to mention the fame and the money that goes with being the one Pitiful is fucking. No one wanted to be the "loser". Manless and childless.
In my opinion, I wouldn't mind being the "loser" with Jen's body and money. As for having a man, if the fattest man in the world got some love, anyone can! So I guess that it is safe to say JA might get some company.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Lemme just qualify that with a: I think her divorce and her plastic surgery orgy made that hard, recently:
http://www.dlisted.com/taxonomy/term/11?page=4
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Submitted by Lory on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 9:09pm.
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Well ... Not this lil black duck! :D
SICKITTEN's picture
Submitted by SICKITTEN on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 9:13pm.
my friend keeps telling me how her other friends really like angelina and think she's such a humanitarian. they all work in corporate. they also like her movies (go figure?) and believe she did not fuck around with BP when he was married to JA.
The highest paid actresses are the least deserving
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"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade
Submitted by Janet Planet on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 8:55pm.
That picture totally made my day - I can sleep happy now.
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You know? Her brushes with paps are very carefully planned. You are never gonna see one of those two pounding on a pap's window begging for privacy. Never. You know THEY have more than a few Mossad on their team, uh huh. And not the younger ones either.
She has the media SO bought - she never looks bad in pictures. BUT she always looks really fake.She has the look that Madonna wishes she could perfect. Madonna's not quite pretty enough...but she CONTROLS that face! Nawmsayin'?
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Really, these people who think she's all that must not be so attractive and not have attractive people in their family. I mean, I have cousins and sisters prettier than she will ever be.
Ange, really, how sad do you have to be to think this woman is the bomb? I'm better than her and so are you. Who are these people?
Submitted by cringe on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 9:03pm.
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At first everyone says no. Then they come back for more. Trust.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by mslewis on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 6:42pm.
Is it true in Wanted that Angie pulled her ass cheeks apart and dropped a healthy steamer on Freeman's chest?
That's what I read over at imdb. Troof.
People who have nothing going for themselves find Angelina Jolie attractive and gorgeous. Most of us know or have known people so much better looking than her who have not had nose jobs and cheek implants. And they have normal sized, feminine heads, to boot. Brad is a hillbilly (but a naturally good looking man) who doesn't know any better. Never forget that this dude was ENGAGED to Juliette Lewis and Gwyneth Paltrow. He's got a thing for ugly chicks.
Submitted by Lory on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 8:57pm.
Submitted by cringe on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 8:44pm.
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I knew I should have made a number 7!!!
Still... Bend over!
NO!
It's really sad we live in a world where dumb whores like Angelina get paid more than they need and can handle, while millions of innocent people die of starvation and preventable illnesses and billions others who work hard barely make it. Did you know that 2.5 billion people live for under 5 dollars a day? 2.5 billion human beings...Another one billion dont know where and how to get their food tomorrow.
When Gandhi died, he owned nothing but a spindle and linen cloth on his body. He didnt talk about helping the poor and the masses, while being on the cover of W magazine wearing an Armani suit and driving to award shows in a limo....
Angie complains about injustices in this world? Well, she is one of the reasons...
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
Submitted by cringe on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 8:44pm.
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I knew I should have made a number 7!!!
Still... Bend over!
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by cringe on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 8:44pm.
Submitted by Lory on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 8:01pm.
Angelina is Nicole Kidman sans Scietology:
1. Receiving loads of cash despite her
nauseating lack of talent. Check.
2. Typecast as fuck. Check.
3. Box office poison. Check.
4. A man (HA!) by her side who happens to be more
feminine than her. Check
5. Botoxed to hell and back. Check.
6. Boring to death. Check.
Well hun I think you have covered all the basics cept maybe her disgusting lips and her nose job!
7. A very tacky looking man had by balls. Check.
8. Has children for attention. Check.
9. Very 'photogenic' (see above). Check.
That picture totally made my day - I can sleep happy now.
Submitted by SICKITTEN on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 8:53pm.
Her nose jobs and cheek implants cannot hide the fact that this bitch has Frankenstein head going on. Just needs bolts on neck.
LMAO!
Her nose jobs and cheek implants cannot hide the fact that this bitch has Frankenstein head going on. Just needs bolts on neck.
Submitted by Stan Hooper on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 8:46pm.
FUCKED UP SHIT TO READ..On a day where we took a 20% pay cut today. Fuck her and the rest of those bitches.
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Aren't those news lovely? What do they wish to accomplish by telling us that no talent hacks, who achieved success simply by the way they look, will never have to worry about making ends meet, because no matter how sh*tty the economy is - nor how sh*tty the quality of their work - they'll continue to rake in the big bucks?
FUCKED UP SHIT TO READ..On a day where we took a 20% pay cut today. Fuck her and the rest of those bitches.
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Pretty looks fade...dumb is forever -- Judge Judy
Big $$$ does not = Big talent
Case in point, Britney's album being No.1 on the charts.
I rest my case.
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My pee smells like bananas! -- LOVE CARROTTOP
Submitted by Lory on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 8:01pm.
Angelina is Nicole Kidman sans Scietology:
1. Receiving loads of cash despite her
nauseating lack of talent. Check.
2. Typecast as fuck. Check.
3. Box office poison. Check.
4. A man (HA!) by her side who happens to be more
feminine than her. Check
5. Botoxed to hell and back. Check.
6. Boring to death. Check.
Well hun I think you have covered all the basics cept maybe her disgusting lips and her nose job!
Well, that's perfect.
That fits right in with my "highest paid/biggest douche" theory.
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Fact is, they are all fucked up in the face, 'cept Heigl who is just nothing special. Wow, our society really has a grudge against anyone special.
Submitted by CandyPerfumeGirl on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 7:49pm.
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She's a hypocrite. I have always said that. For all her gushing about charity she and Numb Nuts actually give very little away and nearly all of it is money that have made off pimping their kids.
I really hope their 15 mins is nearly up.
Have an Oxycontin Christmas! It's the best time of the year! Oh, I'm wantin' an Oxycontin Christmas this year!
Have an Oxycontin Christmas! It's the best time of the year! Oh, I'm wantin' an Oxycontin Christmas this year!
I bet that's her "O" face IRL.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Why is it that the highest paid are invariably the worst?
It's not just acting either - I see it all the time in business.
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You JJers don’t mind if I remove my panties as I type this do you?… TL incatneato.
oone liner
what does your avvie say? I can't see all the words
highest paid actress. the casting couch cunt really has blown the right people. this bitch couldn't out-act those puppies.
Angelina's only good when she's almost playing herself, such as in Gia and Girl, Interrupted. That is, when she's playing an unbalanced attention whore.
@ Smores: don't forget "Overnight Delivery" - I love that movie.
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"Tact is just not saying true stuff - I'll pass" - Cordelia Chase, Buffy
I love JRM!!!!
Angelina is Nicole Kidman sans Scietology:
1. Receiving loads of cash despite her
nauseating lack of talent. Check.
2. Typecast as fuck. Check.
3. Box office poison. Check.
4. A man (HA!) by her side who happens to be more
feminine than her. Check
5. Botoxed to hell and back. Check.
6. Boring to death. Check.
Here's my list so that means my word is gospel. Now bow down to me and give it to me bitches!
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Let me dirty up your mind.
And, yet, she cannot carry a film.
Astonishing.
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Do not mess with live dragons. You are crunchy and taste good with catsup.
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I actually don't object to Angie getting highest paid actress status (ignoring the hypocrisy of it all of course!) I do, however, object to almost everyone else in that top 5. Reese Witherspoon I'll allow cos she doesn't actually outright annoy me but is Julia Roberts even working anymore?! I haven't seen a film of hers since Erin Brokovich...and Cameron Diaz?! I have no words to accurately describe my utter hatred of her "acting" & the films she releases. I've never watched anything with Heigl woman in so no doubt she has no place on a best paid list at all. Pfft is all I'll say.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 7:18pm.
What about Cate Blanchette? Kate Winslett? Phoebe Price?
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You're comment totally tricked me, i was like "Cate YES! Kate YES! Phobe YES! and then i was like What????? LOL
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"Home remedy #108: IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
Reese kicked ass in Election and Freeway.
When Angelina was on a mission in Africa a few years ago (around the time she gave birth to fugly Shiloh) she kept walking through this poverty ridden village, talking about the horrible, deprived lives these people have, how she is one of them, understands their plight etc. Then, a couple of weeks later at the airport she was carrying a 5000 dollar Luis Vuitton handbag - which is more than any of the people in that village in Africa will probably make in a life time.
Brad Pitt keeps talking about the kind of private people they are, how they dont like others minding their business, but then he takes pics of Angie nursing her babies and eating a sandwich the way no other human being has ever eaten a sandwich and publishes it for millions of dollars in W magazine. How private is that?
I dare Angie and her "holier than though" family to donate 90 percent of their earnings to clean water projects in India or Somalia or Darfur. I dare her to donate proceeds from one movie to immunizing children and providing them with food and shelter and education for a lifetime. I dare her to establish animal sanctuaries for endangered species. I dare her to establish a college/education fund for underprivileged children in this country so they can pursue higher education without falling prey to the hands of predatory student loan companies. I dare her to buy 20 refugee families from Iraq who lost everything (home and family members) a house and pay for their kid's education. I dare her to build and support an orphanage in India.
Is she doing any of that? Of course not. She adopts to serve her ego, she gets pregnant to validate her existence, she steals someone's husband and then pontificates about it in public like it was the most natural thing, and she displays her life shamelessly in media (even though she tells everyone the opposite) so she can reap the benefits of being popular for no other reason than just being in the news...for doing things millions of people do every day without PR: giving birth, breast feeding, adopting, eating a sandwich...
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
I farking hate Reese Witherspoon, but she was terrific in "Election". That's a great movie. One of the ones I'll watch whenever it's on. And laugh my ASS off.
lmao! webcam times!!
I had a webcam on my laptop back in the day and it sucked ass...
Reese Witherspoon (and maybe Julia Roberts if she tried again) is the only bankable actresses on that list. Jolie can't carry a movie on her own and Heigl is too untested to be the 5th highest. I never understood how Cameron Diaz made so much money.
Submitted by xxyxz on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 7:25pm.
This bitch is dancing right now, dammit, too bad you ain't turned on your webcam.
I am talking about raw animal hotness right here!!
;-)
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Did the sky suddenly go dark for a quick second? That was God rolling his eyes. (MK)
mslewis, this is not that type of board, really. This site is to espress pure distaste and digust with the state of entertainment and the people who entertain unless they're funny and stupid then they get made fun of. It's either one of the two.
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