St. Angie Is The Highest Paid Actress In The Universe
Saint Angelina Jolie has knocked Reese Witherspoon off her golden throne and is now the highest paid actress in the entire universe according to The Hollywood Reporter. You know some bitchy ass alien is giving me the side-eye because she's the highest paid actress on Mars.
In 2008, Angie's movies including Kung Fu Panda and Wanted totaled $1 billion worldwide. She makes up to $15 million per movie.
I'm sure Saint Angie has it on her "To do list" to donate every last cent she's ever made to the humans of the world. She'll live the rest of her life as a peasant in some shanty town so that every person on this planet can say they've been touched by her kindness. Either that or she'll use her fortune to adopt more kids and finally create a child army big enough to take us all down. Yeah, probably the latter.
The rest of the top 5 looks like this:
2. Julia Roberts
3. Reese Witherspoon
4. Cameron Diaz
5. Katherine Heigl
Wait. Stop. Hold up. Rewind. Put the phone down. Throw the pie away. Choke a kitten. KATHERINE HEEEIGL?! Katherine "makes me want to stick a knife in my peen hole" Heigl is the 5th highest paid actress in the world?! Okay, whoever is paying this ho to act in anything needs to be taken out back and beat with a tree branch by my abuelita.
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Hey look! JIm is rich as well as full-throated! I get dibs!
Submitted by xxyxz on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 7:31pm.
@sugartits
sorry... I feel like eff' up your name today...But it's only b-cuz I love you...
Ummmm, Maybe a bottle of Jack Daniels? the zigzag dude? Marlboro man lol
your turn
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HA! That's okay. My husband calls me that. Oops. TMI. *blush*
I remember a cartoon that my babysitter used to watch and it had this character called "Vavoom". He would open his mouth really really wide and shout "VAVOOM" and buildings would fall. That would be my pic for his avvie.
I'LL GIVE HER 15 MILLION IF SHE PLAYS A WHORE WHO LOCKS HERSELF IN HER MANSION AND NEVER COMES OUT AGAIN!!
@sugartits
sorry... I feel like eff' up your name today...But it's only b-cuz I love you...
Ummmm, Maybe a bottle of Jack Daniels? the zigzag dude? Marlboro man lol
your turn
Submitted by xxyxz on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 7:26pm.
@suge
He nedds an avvie!!!;)
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Let's have some suggestions!...............Um.............YOu go first.
I have not seen all the films the listed actresses made in the past year, but the few I've seen from them, have always placed women in some sort of 'arm candy' role or in role where they're shoe mad, but totally 'emancipated' cause they make their own money, but are unlucky in love roles, right?
That's the saddest thing about the list. It represents that what sells is putting 'leading' ladies in that stereotypical role.
Dont't cha just want to rip those falsies right off her lids? I do.
The thing is, nobody on this message board has to have ever seen a movie by any of the top five actresses but somebody somewhere is paying to see their movies!!! There has to be a reason Angelina is being given $15 million or more to star in a movie or Julia Roberts is being given whatever she's getting. People pay to see them. So, say the list is crap if you want but somebody must like to see these women act.
By the way, where is Meryl Streep on that list? Seems like she had three or four movies out in 2008. The fact that she doesn't earn more than Heigl per movie is kind of sad.
Thank you, Love Anderson. Why is Angelina getting paid all this money for being a supporting player in all her movies lately? This bitch can't open a film on her own anymore so this whole thing about "her" movies grossing $1 billion is bullshit. Try "the ensemble" movies she was in.
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"Tact is just not saying true stuff - I'll pass" - Cordelia Chase, Buffy
I love JRM!!!!
@suge
He nedds an avvie!!!;)
*pays jiggywiddit $15 million*
dance bitch!!!!
I refuse to believe that about Heigl. I mean this ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPf7A0vDinQ ) is what she was in in 2005. C'mon... really...
Submitted by xxyxz on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 7:21pm.
Sugaroo
lol
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I dont' know why I find him so funny but then I picture someone yelling like that in real life and you just know the facial expressions would be priceless! :-)
I would like for Obama to please redistribute THAT wealth to me.
Otherwise, there is no justice.
Nobody ever paid me $15 mil to act like a skank hobag. I had to do that crap for free.
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Did the sky suddenly go dark for a quick second? That was God rolling his eyes. (MK)
Sugaroo
lol
My tiger ass would rather be a vegan, card carrying member of Peta with an itchy coochie (itchy coochie ain't fun) for LIFE than see any of these whores in a movie...
Ok, Reese doesn't bug me so bad, but do I care if I ever see that dumb whore again? No. The rest of the list I like SIGNIFICANTLY less than St. Angie...I LOATHE Julia Roberts with a passion.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
i like that ladys lips she probly likes to kiss peepee maybee thats why she makes mony buckits
15 million per movie?!?!...whaaaaaaaat!
I fuckin hate Julia Roberts.
They all SUCK!
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Rest your sweet head, Michael, Heigl's ranking was only for this year. She completely blew her wad (sorry for making her male and sexual) by criticizing everyone who helped her become successful, and her career is now over. Next year, and the years to come, promise to be Heigl free.
Also, you failed to include number six, which I am absolutely positive was Rojo Caliente. Followed by number seven, who is, of course, Chicken Cutlets, but only by a nose ahead of number eight, Our Lady of Lucite.
Peace and dollars be with you.
What about Cate Blanchette? Kate Winslett? Phoebe Price?
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“Il m’a liée et il a pris son plaisir lentement. Et son plaisir était le mien”
I think all the Maniloonies are shaking in their bongs right now cause Jenny from the block didn't make the list. :(
Rich and famous people suck.
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RIMADYL KILLS
Several on that list haven't had a big hit in years.
Shit, I hate every one of those bitches.
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Heath Ledger
4/4/79 - 1/22/08
How the fuck is Julia Roberts still a leading actress. That fucking Charlie Wilson's war sucked. She's a horrible fucking actress and is butt.fucking.ugly.
LOVEANDERSON....it's ok bubba. I get where you're coming from. :)
I don't think Angie is the best actress in the world, but she's ok and DEFINATELY better than you-know-who. And she's sexayer, too. tee hee I had to throw that in there.
Rich and famous people suck.
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RIMADYL KILLS
Ok bitches, got to go get me some sleep now, nice chatting to you all, goodnight and take it easy!x
Sadly, none of the top five are truly great actresses.
xxyxz on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 7:07pm
It hurt a little, The Brad was still post "Troy" hwat in it.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Hi. I'm Sugaroo and I'm a JIMboholic.
i'm not sure if anyone has seen this but there was a "made" episode on mtv a while back and the coach was a gay cheerleader and he got his own show for a minute and he'd get really excited and in a gay voice yell......CAMP JIIIIIMMMMMM!! well that is what i think of when i see a jim post......CAMMMMMP JIIIIMMMM!!!
mslewis - love, why the hell do you think we care? Whoever makes the most millions of dollars and whoever wins miss most beautifullest ladee international competition may matter to someone as slow of learning as you, but most people really couldn't give a fuck. I tend to judge people by behaviour, likeability and morals - couldn't really give a fuck how much money they earn. And so does everyone I know. Do you live in a parallel universe to me?
Hey, anybody know how much 'Brother Fucker's' last movie made? The one where they showed her in a padded cell where she truly belongs but not that one with Wino 1.0. I truly forgot the name.
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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Most of them can't even open a movie without an ensemble cast.
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Searching for a man with porn-star looks who is also stylish, classy, and refined.
_Wait. Stop. Hold up. Rewind. Put the phone down. Throw the pie away._
Oh honey, you said a mouthful there.
Submitted by Clarisse on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 6:54pm.
This is a SHIT list. The last movie i saw from...
1. Angelina Jolie - Girl Interrupted
2. Julia Roberts - Sleeping with the Enemy
3. Reese Witherspoon - Legally Blonde
4. Cameron Diaz - Mask
5. Katherine Heigl - i got nothing. nothing!
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LOL! You are hilarious. Let's see...
1. Angelina Jolie - I don't think I've ever seen an Angelina movie. Maybe half an hour of her Brad Pitt movie when someone else rented it and an hour of Gia when it was on tv at some point. But never in the theatre and never completely. Love her dad, though.
2. Julia Roberts - Well, I did see Erin B. LOL, and I did see Sleeping With the Enemy (and JLo totally ripped her off with Enough or was it Angel Eyes!?)
3. Reese Witherspoon - Election. Loved that movie.
4. Cameron Diaz - Ok, I saw the first half of The Holiday.
5.Katherine Heigl - Yep, nada. I don't even watch that show.
Where in the fuck is the diversity? Same BORING actresses, year after year!
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Schandenfraude
Y'ALL ARE JIMBOLOONIES!!!!!!!!
Love A
I'm calling COUNTY on your ass! All homes must contain one or more Saint Smackalina item or you're going to hell!!!!
I'll see you there!!!!! We have Mr. and Mrs. Smiff on PSP but i haven't had the urge to watch
I'll donate it
Submitted by jim on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 6:56pm.
WHY??? I WOULDN'T WIPE MY ASS WITH ONE OF HER SHIT MOVIES..MAYBE IF I REALLY HAD TO BUT PROBABLY NOT.
BAHAHAHA!!! You are too goddamn funny!!
Submitted by huckabay on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 6:59pm.
What the hell has Julia Roberts done in the past 5 years???
She's done bupkis,absolutely nothing, diddly, squat, zip, zilch, nada.
Anarexolina's last movie 'Wanted' sucks moose cock.
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I'm just here for the beer.
FUCK YEAH JIM!!
I'm only fucking jealous because I dont have the balls to all-caps my shizz and talk real mean and nasty. Jim does it so effortlessly. Bless you Jim!
:D
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All we are....is dust in the wind, dude.
-Ted "Theodore" Logan
xxyxz on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 7:01pm
hahaha...
I gave away my copy of Mr. & Mrs. Smith, my home is a Skeletina Free Fly Zone.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
The only thing this list proves is that actresses get paid shit compared to men and the top actresses are shitty, although I have no qualms with Reese
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
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At least from this picture you can tell that she has had NO botox in her forehead. lmao.
OIC LoveA...still...its a crap list. ya know?
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All we are....is dust in the wind, dude.
-Ted "Theodore" Logan
I love Jim's posts. He's so restrained and demure. LOL!
*burns kung-fu blu ray disk*
I didn't know she was in that movie
Jim, I fucking love you!
Submitted by Clarisse on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 6:54pm.
This is a SHIT list. The last movie i saw from...
4. Cameron Diaz - Mask
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Damn did't that come out in 1994? Oh well!
This year Halloween fell on a weekend... Bushwick Bill
What the hell has Julia Roberts done in the past 5 years???
List fail.
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We're talking about pissing during fucking and she tries to be all polite-like. - MK
lol @Salem13