Chicken Plucker!
If you are a chicken or a chicken lover (but not in that way), you better skip this shit. That means you Chicken Cutlets! Shut your eyes.
At first glance I thought this was a picture of Ian McKellen with his new chicken twink. It's not. It's the 71-year-old star of the fourth season of Germany's Farmer Wants a Wife. On the season finale, pepaw farmer Hansi chose 66-year-old Marianne as his final chick. Usually when two people decide they want to be together, they celebrate it with a little sexy times. That's what Hansi did, but instead of getting nasty with Marianne, he tried to pleasure a chicken! 8 million viewers watched as Hansi finger plucked a chicken while telling Marianne, "This is how they get an orgasm."
That nasty ass chicken plucker! CLUCK NO.
Marianne did not appreciate the chicken getting more action than her, so she packed up her shit and quit that bitch. Before she left, she told the cameras, "You always hear jokes about what lonely farmers do to their animals… I am disgusted. This is not my world."
Hansi, a nudist who walks around his farm naked, doesn't think there's anything wrong with it. He said, "Hansi is always happy when the chickens are happy.”
Peta already sent off their complaint about Hansi's sexual abuse of chickens.
I've heard of q-tipping a cat in heat, but chicken orgasms?! Is that where McDonald's Sweet & Sour sauce comes from?
Hansi has been around chickens for way too long. When you are start to get impure thoughts while watching chickens peck at their food and wiggle their feathers, it's time to check into the nearest loony bin before shit like this happens. Just cockadoodledon't!
Visit Bild to see pictures of the grossness.
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@ schlum.. yeah i know.. thats really crappy. theres no excuse for that. and mrs k, isnt that sad? it breaks my heart that animals have no where to go :(
in the united states alone, between 3 and 4 million cats and dogs are euthanized each year for lack of homes to adopt them. YOU can help stop this.. spay or neuter your pet. please don't breed or buy while homeless animals die! support animal shelters<3
Submitted by KT on Sat, 12/13/2008 - 2:00am.
in the united states alone, between 3 and 4 million cats and dogs are euthanized each year for lack of homes to adopt them.
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Unfortunately the number of animals killed for the crime of having nowhere to go is much higher than that.
:(
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I think your MySpace page has enough pictures of you displaying dismembered penises in your mouth.
@KT
PETA folks kill animals, too.
They euthanized a ridiculous amount of pets while the local animal shelter managed to find new homes for the pets with 10% of the money PETAv has.
http://www.petakillsanimals.com/
what a sick old fart. i'm not a PETA fan but i'm glad they got on him. once you get PETA on your ass, its hard to get them off.
in the united states alone, between 3 and 4 million cats and dogs are euthanized each year for lack of homes to adopt them. YOU can help stop this.. spay or neuter your pet. please don't breed or buy while homeless animals die! support animal shelters<3
on another note, GODdamn it, now i can't ever eat my sweet and sour sauce again! :-( another childhood memory shat on!
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i am courtney love's original face.
hey, this is WAY better than the way we treat our chickens here, what with beak and claw removal and all.
peta must learn how to pick its battles.
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i am courtney love's original face.
i refuse to click...disgusting...
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he doesn't know anything, he didn't do anything, and he doesn't give a shit...
German farmers should not be allowed near reality game shows, T.V, live-stock, small children or anything deemed mentally sane...
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If music be the food of love, put another glockenspiel in the easy bake oven...
One can only hope that he checks the knot holes in trees, for bee's and whatnot b4 he makes sweet Farmer love to them..
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If music be the food of love, put another glockenspiel in the easy bake oven...
That is just gross but I can just imagine if they did an American version.Our hillbillies would kick their hillbillies asses in the freaky stuff.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
http://www.myspace.com/384080529
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Fri, 12/12/2008 - 5:06pm.
lmao!!!!
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Happy Holidays
I regret my previous comment. What that farmer did was fowl.
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I miss the days when perverts were simple and an inflatable woman was enough.--Diego
I guess she was a hot chick.
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I miss the days when perverts were simple and an inflatable woman was enough.--Diego
CLUCK NO.
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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
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It's creamie, not prune!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQbwt-dicpo
Now, I have heard that farmers do it to check whether there is an egg on the way or not.
EDIT: Saw the clip and:
Eeeew, he really only did it to...eeew.
GROSS
What is it with Germany only being portrayed by chicken-fingering old grandpas and watermelon-marrying crazy bastards?
I used to be happy with not having someone like Paris Hilton, but now I wish we had someone like that. *shudder*
About the cow fingering:
The cow would not react in any way 'cause there is in fact a reflex that makes the cows tolerate it.
That's what one can see in all these stupid veterinarian documentaries that they broadcast like crazy over here.
@clarisse
About your card, just post it here and we'll translate it for you.
For all the other skanks over here:
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=bauer+sucht+frau+bauer+hansi...
Some snippets from the show.
Turns out the first vid is actually the one where he fingers the chicken. O.o
i really dont know what to say about any of the new posts today... cant think of a witty "Caption This" zinger, dont watch Dancing With The Stars... and this? Man, I'm SO out of words!!
Vote for my WORST Fashion Moment http://www.pronto.com/87060-WM?successMsg=true
@CTH He's better than picnic table fucker and car fucker, he is at least thinking of pleasuring his partner(s). ---wait, anybody get the digits?
"I got pills, they're multiplyin', and the booze left to pour, oh the powder you're supplyin', it's electrifyin'-electrifyin-electrifyin"
Why would PETA get their feathers ruffled over this? I think it's sweet that he pleasures his chickens. I myself enjoy having my hair pulled during lovemaking, and if my hair were feathers, I'm sure I'd fly straight over to Hansi's farm.
only on dlist does a chicken fucker get over a hundred comments.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Yuck!!!
lurv all mah Scottish lassies!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Submitted by girl_cheese on Fri, 12/12/2008 - 1:57pm.
Well, to each their own. But why would someone think one day, "Hey! I'm gonna give that chicken an orgasm." ?? Is it because if the chicken isn't thoroughly satisfied she will pack her chickeny bags and move in with Pam Anderson? Srsly. Wtf is the thinking there.
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imagine losing half your shit in divorce court to a chicken cuz you couldn't get her off.
"She got the truck, the roost, and the chicks." Sounds like a country song!
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Mele Kalikimaka is Hawaii's way
To say "Merry Christmas to you."
I just recieved what I believe to be a xmas card from one of my vendors. Unfort, it's in German. Thanks guys.
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Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.
Submitted by girl_cheese on Fri, 12/12/2008 - 1:57pm.
... why would someone think one day, "Hey! I'm gonna give that chicken an orgasm." ?? Is it because if the chicken isn't thoroughly satisfied she will pack her chickeny bags and move in with Pam Anderson?
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LMAO!
♥ ThreadKilla!
Wow. Are you guys all on the same team?!
I Know Your Girlfriend Hates Me
Submitted by Clarisse on Fri, 12/12/2008 - 2:00pm.
Jeffro,
I love a 'yes' man in bed, but not so much in the boardroom.
Wine?
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Yes, yes, yes! LOL
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Mele Kalikimaka is Hawaii's way
To say "Merry Christmas to you."
Submitted by Farrah on Fri, 12/12/2008 - 1:53pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 12/12/2008 - 1:49pm.
Hey! My grandpa's Scottish too! And my grandma!
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Wallace Clan in da house!
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I'm not even a clan. I'm like some fucking subsidiary or something. Of clan McPherson, I guess I could say...Our name means: Son of the servant of Christ.
♥ ThreadKilla!
Wow. Are you guys all on the same team?!
I Know Your Girlfriend Hates Me
Jeffro,
I love a 'yes' man in bed, but not so much in the boardroom.
Wine?
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Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.
What in hairy old hell is this shit?
I used to torment my cat that way but only when she was in heat and it was funny! Don't judge.
Well, to each their own. But why would someone think one day, "Hey! I'm gonna give that chicken an orgasm." ?? Is it because if the chicken isn't thoroughly satisfied she will pack her chickeny bags and move in with Pam Anderson? Srsly. Wtf is the thinking there.
SWEEEEEEEEET ASSSSSSSSSSS!
Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 12/12/2008 - 1:49pm.
Hey! My grandpa's Scottish too! And my grandma!
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Wallace Clan in da house!
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I'm in no hurry, you go run and tell your friends i'm losing touch...
Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 12/12/2008 - 1:49pm.
Submitted by Farrah on Fri, 12/12/2008 - 1:47pm.
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 12/12/2008 -
Hey! My grandpa's Scottish too! And my grandma!
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Well then, let's throw another 'shrimp on the barbie'! Oh wait...
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A flute with no holes in not a flute, and a donut with no holes is a danish.
ahahaha sweetas!!♥♥ a love ewe too!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Cluck him. Whatta jerkoff.
Submitted by Clarisse on Fri, 12/12/2008 - 1:49pm.
Jeffro!
Your right! You earn your black belt when you can literally stick your head up your ass!!!
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they have to be able to do that, so that they can see which VP is playing puppet master. I swear our QC guy is only here to make whatever bullshit the Ops VP says 'official'.
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A flute with no holes in not a flute, and a donut with no holes is a danish.
Jeffro!
Your right! You earn your black belt when you can literally stick your head up your ass!!!
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Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.
Missy♥ - a love ewe! How...um...wow! lol
Submitted by Farrah on Fri, 12/12/2008 - 1:47pm.
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 12/12/2008 - 1:43pm.
LEAVE SCOTLAND ALONE
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SCOTLAND THE GREAT! i know i'm more Jewish, but one day, i'll go to them damn Highlands and pay homage to my grandpa.
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Hey! My grandpa's Scottish too! And my grandma!
=D
♥ ThreadKilla!
Wow. Are you guys all on the same team?!
I Know Your Girlfriend Hates Me
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 12/12/2008 - 1:43pm.
LEAVE SCOTLAND ALONE
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SCOTLAND THE GREAT! i know i'm more Jewish, but one day, i'll go to them damn Highlands and pay homage to my grandpa.
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I'm in no hurry, you go run and tell your friends i'm losing touch...
Submitted by Clarisse on Fri, 12/12/2008 - 1:43pm.
Jeffro,
Huh. They all must suffer cranial rectal inversion then.
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it's part of Six Sigma, they have to learn that skill.
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A flute with no holes in not a flute, and a donut with no holes is a danish.
Submitted by KD on Fri, 12/12/2008 - 1:40pm.
Farrah- I would like a signed copy of said book
it shall be your wedding present!
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I'm in no hurry, you go run and tell your friends i'm losing touch...
*blinks furiously*
*goes into coma*
ha, snow, I LOVED Scotland. LOVED it. The Scots are great people and the country is gorgeous.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
KD, totally effing serious! The vending machine had dildos and cock rings and other stuff, but the inflatable sheep was a real shocker. I totally took pictures of the machine.
I think it was from a company called naughty vend or soemthing...
Jeffro MYOB! ;)
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Jeffro,
Huh. They all must suffer cranial rectal inversion then.
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Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.
LEAVE SCOTLAND ALONE
****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
MIssy, are you SERIOUS? And I thought all those jokes didn't have any merit to them.
Farrah- I would like a signed copy of said book.
Clarisse- OMG on that hairy man pic! My man is kinda hair, but not like that!
Submitted by missy on Fri, 12/12/2008 - 1:35pm.
dude when I was in Edinburgh Scotland there was a vending machine in a bar bathroom that sold INFLATABLE SHEEP SEX TOYS. Serisouly. I wish to god I had bought one for the novelty.
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"For the novelty"....SUUUURE! LOL
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A flute with no holes in not a flute, and a donut with no holes is a danish.
Submitted by Mrs. Gosling on Fri, 12/12/2008 - 1:32pm.
Oh my god this reminds me of that guy that had a horse stick his thing up his ass and then died from internal bleeding...people are so fucking twisted in the head
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that was Mr. Hands. And sorry, he deserved to die. Animal abuse of any kind (even if the horse was, er "willing)is the worst thing, according to Farrah's Book of Everything.
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I'm in no hurry, you go run and tell your friends i'm losing touch...