He Better Do It Shirtless
I'm hoping his year's Oscars will be shirt-optional since Hugh Jackman is hosting it and he suffers from Matthew McConaughy syndrome. The Oscar bitches announced today that Hugh will host the Oscars on February 22nd. The show is usually hosted by people who tell jokes for a living, but they decided that sex sells so they got Hugh instead.
Hugh is actually an excellent choice! As long as he keeps his shirt off, keeps the bow tie on (it is the Oscars after all) and opens the show in an Oscar statue hammock thong, everyone will be pleased. Tommy Girl better keep his hungry no-no under lock and key, because that thing is going to try and eat the host.
Oh and Hugh better recreate this performance he did for the Tony Awards (complete with Carole Bayer Sager's introduction, of course):
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Commingback may be an immigrant hot dog vendor who got fined for 'health code violations'. Do these quotes not scream 'commingback broken English'?
"This loose hot dog, over there, and this side, packaged hot dog, you know? Packaged hot dog. This is not open. You know? And down, a hot dog, put it."
"Before I go court, long time, go yea."
"Before Health Department, they tell me I put cardboard hot dog, you know . . . This is good ball, and good ice."
"It a small thing, but 10,000 [vendors] next time again thing no problem,"
"No, no, no I don't sell dirty hot dog,"
great choice!
I love HJ....
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And though you don't believe that they do, They do come true; for did my dreams, come true when I looked at you
And maybe too, if you would believe, you too might be, overjoyed, over loved, over me