Monday, December 15th 2008
Chips Ahoy, Matey!
The S.S. Queen Aretha docked in NYC last night to perform a special holiday concert for the troops. If I would have known about this shit, I would've joined the Navy as their official fluffer just so I could go to this concert to see the Queen of Chichis with that little hat on her head. I think the dude she got it from is still trapped under her twin Honey Baked Hams. Bitches probably threw several lifesavers his way to get him out, but Aretha kept mistaking them for the minty treats.
Wireimage, Wenn
"The S.S. Queen Aretha docked in NYC last night"
Beyond brilliant! The air was filled with raucous laughter on that one!!
--thanks awfully--
LOL@ Chips Ahoy! I love you Michael K!
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Bye! Good
Can't knock and will not knock this woman.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
http://www.myspace.com/384080529
Jesus ...i mean, yeah ok, it's Arepa but... Jesus. I wouldn't mind an itty bitty straight up photo-choppin on those arms.
edit:
Submitted by D.R. on Mon, 12/15/2008 - 3:51pm.
Hey, in the first photo in the bottom row, is she flipping somebody off?
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Hopefully Beyonce
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"Everything die-diddly-dies, and that's a factoroonie!"
we can all breathe a sigh of relief she's got her boobs covered.
shit, this bitch will sink any ship. Aretha, can't you lose any weight? I know some people have health issues and weight is a result, but crap one can do something about it./ This is just disgusting. And cover those nasty armpits.
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*Power corrupts*Absolute power corrupts absolutely*
*None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free-goethe*
I bet Yamaha had to bolster the piano bench.
Hey, in the first photo in the bottom row, is she flipping somebody off?
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"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.
"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz
Submitted by fatgurrl on Mon, 12/15/2008 - 1:32pm.
I did not think Jo Ann Fabrics had enough tulle in their whole warehouse to wrap that burrito.
OMG, I think I just wet myself...
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Heath Ledger
4/4/79 - 1/22/08
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 12/15/2008 - 3:02pm.
Hey, Koolaid!!!!!!
*
omg! OMG!!! i can totally see that!
pshoping a smiley face on her now!
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
Ok, ok, ok, she's here. Eddy, great news!
-She's dead?
No. She's blind!
Is it me or does she look like Jabba the Hut. Taco Hut? A plain old hut?
~~~
Love,
Mabel
How little we understand what touches off that tingle,
That sudden explosion when two tingles intermingle. --Mrs. Kravitz
snowy, and then you called everyone names- you fucking racist.
heehee
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pussy don't fail me now, I gotta turn this n****a out, so he don't want nobody else, but me and only me....
- Missy Elliott
I love Aretha...but she needs to lose the weight and get in shape.
Hey, Koolaid!!!!!!
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Later that evening Aretha drifted into northerly waters, hit an iceberg, and split in two.
▲-▲-▲-▲-▲-▲-▲-▲-▲-▲-▲-▲-▲-▲
Now THAT is a tree!
She can say and wear and do whatever the fuck she wants.
The Queen will always get a pass with me.
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
Yup, the hat is disturbing on many levels.
At least she covered those 2 giant, sagging eggplants.
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"Merry Christmas, Dammit!"
Listen, I don't care what you guys say...that woman is HOT!!!
http://mylifeiscrap.com
She looks like a giant tomato!
"Honey baked hams" - LMAO! You're too much, MK!
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Heath Ledger
4/4/79 - 1/22/08
"Heeey, Koooool-aidddd"
"Suicide hotline, please hold"
riki lake - yes. Paps caught Scott changing out of his wetsuit, and his twig and berries got "aired" out.
M.E.....did I hear something about a nude Scott Caan?
*swoon*
James Caan?
*WRETCH*
PSL: remember how we ate the Aretha Special at Fudruckers last weekend while we cruised the BBW dating sites?
****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Those poor soldiers - haven't they been through enough?? I'm sure they'd rather seen Queen Tina's 69-year-old fine and toned legs. ** Running and hiding from the chichis of mass destruction now **
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It's creamie, not prune!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQbwt-dicpo
Say what you guys want, this bitch is the shit!!
Have you heard her sing opera?
The original QUEEN RIRI!!
Wow...talk about RESPECT.
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http://www.myspace.com/oxygen162
Looks like she ate both Captain and Tennille.
http://www.firstclasstohell.com
She no longer has a neck, she has a tree trunk, complete with the rings that tell her age.
she's apparently seven now.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
"Chips ahoy, matey!", "S.S. Queen Aretha" and all the funny tidbits in this post are making me laugh really hard. Hahahahaha!!!.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
In other news....my eyes really didn't need to see Scott Caans twig and berries, though impressive.
Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Mon, 12/15/2008 - 1:33pm.
Why is she covering up her amazing chichis?!
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those are not amazing, they are disgusting. Each boob is larger than a toddler.
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pussy don't fail me now, I gotta turn this n****a out, so he don't want nobody else, but me and only me....
- Missy Elliott
Has she lost weight?
Migraine - Uhhhhhhhm, I'd say somewhere in the morbidly obese category?
That's morbid.
I love Aretha and it always kinda amazes me how so much smoothness can come out of someone so rough looking but I don't think I'd ever wanna go to a concert. I just couldn't hack it.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Public Service Announcement
I Know Your Girlfriend Hates Me
S.S. Aretha is right.
Damn, she is HUGE!
Anyone venture a guess what her BMI is?
*shuddering*
Hope we don't hear of her just dropping dead someday. Hope those cheeseburgers were worth it Retha...
Legend or not, she is in dire need of Weight Watchers.
Or gastric bypass.
At the very least, a tarp over her so we don't have to look at her.
Why is she covering up her amazing chichis?!
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"Her voice sounds like a goat in heat..." - Balenciaga Bitch on Sarah Palin (10/6/08).
I did not think Jo Ann Fabrics had enough tulle in their whole warehouse to wrap that burrito. And seeing how I was wrong about the amount of material they keep, why in fuck's sake did they not make a satin bag to put over her face?
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DIVA=
fat Demon
Intent on
Viciously
Assaulting my eyes
Sorry, but she's disgusting to look at.
****
Bother me tomorrow, today I'll buy no sorrows, do do do, lookin' out my backdoor
I adore Aretha!
PSL -
Drumroll please!
The C Word,
Drinks are on me!
How's Baby Happy today?
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Bowie and Bing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGelQhYY85c
Submitted by ricki lake on Mon, 12/15/2008 - 1:20pm.
I am over this aircraft carrier and the Guatemala-sized breasts she insists on forcing upon the American populus. You are about 100 years past your prime, you arrogant cunt. Please go away. Nobody cares about you or how you think you're the 'Queen' of anything but KFC. Fat ho.
I agree...I hate to say it but her size alone just makes me want to puke
Who's Zoomin' Who? I cannot say anything bad about the Queen. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Don't noboby be sayin' anything bad about Ms. Franklin or Miss Jenkins. But everybody knew the show wasn't over until she sang.
http://thumbnails.hulu.com/5/887/1680_145x80_generated.jpg
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You'll be doin' all right, with your Christmas of white
But I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas
hahahah ElB and Sugaroo....
*waits for JB backlash*
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pussy don't fail me now, I gotta turn this n****a out, so he don't want nobody else, but me and only me....
- Missy Elliott
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 12/15/2008 - 1:23pm.
Oh My GOD.
I just cannot begin to fathom how people let themselves get to that size.
Oh wait, according to Jimmy Bocca I AM that size.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
No no. He was saying his EGO is that size. It sure as hell isn't his peen he was rapping about!
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 12/15/2008 - 1:23pm.
Oh My GOD.
I just cannot begin to fathom how people let themselves get to that size.
Oh wait, according to Jimmy Bocca I AM that size.
Good for you! See people, heres an honest person!
Submitted by foosrock on Mon, 12/15/2008 - 1:22pm.
Oh goodness. How does one get to that condition? Perhaps she has a disease whereby just looking at food packs on the pounds?. I really would like to know......
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She ate her way into Diabetes with bad foods. I am Hypoglycemic (low blood sugar) and I have to make myself eat to keep my sugar level right. She needs to do it to keep hers down. Once your at the same level all day, consistently you lose weight, hence the Zone diet with good carbs.