Smell Yo Dick Gone Wrong
The next time you decide to smell yo man's dick, because you think he's fucking around on you, come prepared with a helmet on your head and a taser gun in your hand. Smelling yo man's dick could be dangerous.
A chick in Port St. Lucie, FL suspected her husband of getting it on with another lady, so naturally, she asked to smell his dick area for strange pussy juice odors. The 37-year-old woman followed her husband to the bathroom and told him to whip his dick out "so that she can smell it."
Her 25-year-old husband was not amused, because when she went down to get a whiff, he punched her in the mouth and kicked at her body. After the bastard beat at her, he left the house. Police are currently searching his ass.
Um. I haven't personally smelled this asshole's dick, but I can guarantee you that he's cheating on her! If you ask to smell dick and he fists you in the mouth, he's guilty and no further tests are required.
And if the police really want to find this dumb bitch, they should just send out a few trained sniffer dogs to search for dried up snatch jelly and crusty jizz.
P.S. - If you want a less dangerous way of finding out if your man is effing up on you, just smell his dirty panties when he's in the shower. If they smell like DIAL (the trusted soap of most mistresses) or random genital juices, then you know the truth!
Source: TCPalm
(Thanks Melissa)
• 
I am seriously laughing. Who the fuck smells someones dick to see if they are cheating???
http://nocheezplease.blogspot.com/
Submitted by StaceBace on Fri, 12/19/2008 - 10:29am.
First I would like to say to the lady who smelt her husband's dick...you should have had a knife or a nine at hand I mean be prepared. and to the video...wtf, can you find he's dick to smell it? that's the question can you find it under that fat ass gut?
BWAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA! This is killing me!
I know, I thought the same thing!
"She is wearing a fucking banana clip.
She must be destroyed." -- seaclint on Michelle Duggar
First I would like to say to the lady who smelt her husband's dick...you should have had a knife or a nine at hand I mean be prepared. and to the video...wtf, can you find he's dick to smell it? that's the question can you find it under that fat ass gut?
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 12/19/2008 - 3:40am.
Night TV!! Smooches! AND I want my copy of that Xmas card DAMMIT! *still can't stop laughing at the mental picture* LOL.
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Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Fri, 12/19/2008 - 3:34am.
That's actually not that bad of a movie, considering that it has the wrong Belushi in it. Guess where the movie is set - you guessed it, Cleveland!
I'm off too, transitioning from working the night shift to working the day shift in about 5 hours.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Fri, 12/19/2008 - 3:34am.
Night ESE! Smooches! Cleveland will be our little secret.
*nudges TV to tell me what the hell happened in Cleveland*
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gotta go folks, there's a really bad movie starting("Real Men" Jim Belushi, John Ritter)... gotta check it out! see ya!!
OT: uuumm... nah
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 12/19/2008 - 3:26am.
you SONOFA!!!.... NEVER talk about Cleveland!!... not that i've ever been there.. *eyes getting shifty*.. just, who the hell wants to talk about Cleveland?!?!
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Fri, 12/19/2008 - 3:23am.
Hey, I remember where you hid that last Easter egg last year, don't make me air out your dirty laundry here!
(he hid it in Cleveland)
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 12/19/2008 - 3:21am.
i await your Easter card... be gentle with the bunny... no leather this year, please!
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Fri, 12/19/2008 - 3:19am.
The picnic table was replaced by a christmas tree stand this year, a little more festive.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Fri, 12/19/2008 - 3:16am.
what's this "think he's the picnic table fucker"?!
we all have seen the pictures... for "god's" sake they're his X-mas card!
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 12/19/2008 - 3:02am.
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Fri, 12/19/2008 - 3:00am.
I tried the chocolate sauce, caught ants.
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Stoopid. Your dick sniffing girl will just think you're the picnic table fucker. I think getting caught with an actual girl might have been less of a shock to your chick.
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Submitted by MyTwoCents on Fri, 12/19/2008 - 3:00am.
I tried the chocolate sauce, caught ants.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 12/19/2008 - 2:47am.
See, this is why I always dip mine in Picante Salsa. Plus, meet more fat chicks with low standards.
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Look chilli dick.
edit. Half my comment cut before I posted!
Whatevs. Was gonna suggest chocolate sauce but that could be misconstrued. Nevermind.
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Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Fri, 12/19/2008 - 2:49am.
Go with the salsa, the crabs mistake it for cocktail sauce until it's way too late.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 12/19/2008 - 2:47am.
i tried to have mine deep fried for the exact same reason!... it did not turn out well
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
let's give it a perfume.
www.realitybedroom.com
See, this is why I always dip mine in Picante Salsa. Plus, meet more fat chicks with low standards.
***********************************************
I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
i've said it once, i'll say it a thousand times... why are they always in Florida?!?!
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
i'm reading some of you chics wanting to know how to ASK to give a BJ? like, you chics want to give it and have to ask for it?? lucky hoes!!
my man comes home and as we start kissing 'hello' he gently pushes my head down ..down.. without fail!! i get him back when it's time to sleep but this knucklehead i'm with does not wait for any invites, requests, nada .. i've just gotten used to my head being MUSHED DOWN SOUTH :)
and during my cheating days, i would use SUMMERS EVE SNATCH [feminine] WASH - takes care of bacteria and neutralizes all smells - good for both men and women to use before returning back to their significant other - PLUS THE 60 SECOND long MOUTH WASH rinse [brown/original flavor]- you're good to go .. don't act different, go home and resume life .. if you usually wash at night, continue - if not, don't start now .. and by all means, screw your regular lover -- tired or not, make it happen
Cheaters should ALWAYS use IVORY SOAP for clean-up.Fragrance free.
This dick sniffer could have saved herself a busted face if she had called "Cheaters".
Joey Greco would have nailed him.
She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site """" W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m"""""" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?
OMG...that is my hometown!! Niiice.......ugh.
Curse you, Michael K, my dear grandma always had gold DIAL soap in her bathroom, and it WAS a nostalgic scent for me...until now.
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You're missing the point I'm sure does not need making
that Christmas spirit is not what you drink.
--Jethro Tull
if your man is wearing panties, that might be a clue...
and if he doesn't know how to wash his dick. all genitals should always smell like roses!
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kitty side eye!
http://www.sockandawe.com/
THROW THE SHOE AT THE BUSH!!
Alexyss K Taylor rules!
Look at it this way Stoney...it's better than chowder crotch!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
DOH! Chili boob!!!
I dribbled chili all down the front of my light grey turtle neck on saturday.
Rom cleavage to belly button.
UGH!
dribble dribble, can't close mouth....
Eveidently I've sucked too much cock.
Yeah, what Farrah said... get him to bring you a sweater or something.
Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 6:03pm.
Farrah, I was reaching over to get a plastic spoon in the shelf in front of me and *bloop*! Boob in the chili times! Dammit!! Now my boob is cold.
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oh, shit... in that case, the only thing i would suggest, if the stain doesn't come our, stick unstained boob in the chili. Then tell boo's family it's a "high end designer one and only model". Or call your boo to meet you a little bit before THE dinner and to bring you something extra to wear.
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Oh, Santa... i've been killing just for fun..
Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 5:50pm.
Can you get your hands on a sweater or blazer? If not, go into the bathroom, take off the shirt and hit it the stain with warm water and soap. Blot it dry as much as you can.
How was the chili, BTW?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 4:30pm.
Haven't read all the comments, but whoever said "unzip and go to town" was right... being verbal makes me a bit red in the face, too, and every time I would ask my husband if he wanted head he was like, "NO, not if you have to ASK!" So nonverbal is the way to go on that one, I'd say (particularly if you're more comfortable that way).
hahahahaha Mrs. G!!!♥
You bitches are cracking me UP today!
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Rivers says Merry Christmas! And I say Merry Xmas! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqgN0T6f1kg
Farrah, I was reaching over to get a plastic spoon in the shelf in front of me and *bloop*! Boob in the chili times! Dammit!! Now my boob is cold.
Snatch jelly?
Who needs Alli when we can read MK's unappetizing descriptions.
*retch*
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Suri is already acting! The girl deserves a dozen Oscars for her riveting performance as the daughter of a crazy troll person with raccoon teeth. --MK
Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 5:50pm.
Ok folks, I just dipped my boob in a cup of chili, and I'm meeting my boyfriend's family for dinner right after work
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dammit, Stoney, first, we have to help Miss Priss with her "jaw problems" (Miss Priss, i shall be the director of the support group) and now this.
waitaminnit!! how on hell did you "dipped your boob in a cup of chili" in the first place?
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Oh, Santa... i've been killing just for fun..
Stoney!
"I just dipped my boob in a cup of chili"
*hands stoney a spoon*
Try this sweets.
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I think god had 7 kids. Aesus, Besus, Cesus, Desus, Eesus, Fesus and Jesus.
Ok folks, I just dipped my boob in a cup of chili, and I'm meeting my boyfriend's family for dinner right after work. And I'm wearing a WHITE SHIRT.
*tears desk up for Shout wipes*
Lmao Miss Priss if it looks anything like this no wonder your jaw keeps locking!!
http://fortyfour.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/zucchini.JPG
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Happy Holidays
Submitted by Miss Priss on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 5:33pm.
LCT,
*practicing right now*
*boss looking at me funneh*
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just tell him you're practicing your "jaw Kegels"
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Oh, Santa... i've been killing just for fun..
M.E. you're right...I should be more creative. You're an expert I bet! ♥
Maybe I should practice with a zuccini I have in the fridge
Farrah, would you like to be my support group? ;o)
Mrs.G I know right? I should do the head push to him!
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Rivers says Merry Christmas! And I say Merry Xmas! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqgN0T6f1kg
Clarisse
Could you imagine if I said that to him? Ahahahah the face he would make he would turn beet red too
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Rivers says Merry Christmas! And I say Merry Xmas! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqgN0T6f1kg
Miss Priss, a blow job can be done without alot of sucking. Try licking, sucking the sides, a couple of mouthfull suckles, etc.
Submitted by Miss Priss on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 5:31pm.
I don't make him do it to me...so we're even, right?
-----Omg why not? lol
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Happy Holidays
Submitted by Miss Priss on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 5:15pm.
you guys...im bad. I can't give BJ
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Miss Priss, i'm sure there's gotta be a support group where you live... a group that supports your jaw while you suck!
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Oh, Santa... i've been killing just for fun..
Miss Priss,
Tell your boss that you are strengthening your blow job muscles and to move along!
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I think god had 7 kids. Aesus, Besus, Cesus, Desus, Eesus, Fesus and Jesus.
Yulias
damn i suck at giving BJs!
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Rivers says Merry Christmas! And I say Merry Xmas! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqgN0T6f1kg
LCT,
*practicing right now*
*boss looking at me funneh*
◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘
Rivers says Merry Christmas! And I say Merry Xmas! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqgN0T6f1kg