Smell Yo Dick Gone Wrong
The next time you decide to smell yo man's dick, because you think he's fucking around on you, come prepared with a helmet on your head and a taser gun in your hand. Smelling yo man's dick could be dangerous.
A chick in Port St. Lucie, FL suspected her husband of getting it on with another lady, so naturally, she asked to smell his dick area for strange pussy juice odors. The 37-year-old woman followed her husband to the bathroom and told him to whip his dick out "so that she can smell it."
Her 25-year-old husband was not amused, because when she went down to get a whiff, he punched her in the mouth and kicked at her body. After the bastard beat at her, he left the house. Police are currently searching his ass.
Um. I haven't personally smelled this asshole's dick, but I can guarantee you that he's cheating on her! If you ask to smell dick and he fists you in the mouth, he's guilty and no further tests are required.
And if the police really want to find this dumb bitch, they should just send out a few trained sniffer dogs to search for dried up snatch jelly and crusty jizz.
P.S. - If you want a less dangerous way of finding out if your man is effing up on you, just smell his dirty panties when he's in the shower. If they smell like DIAL (the trusted soap of most mistresses) or random genital juices, then you know the truth!
Source: TCPalm
(Thanks Melissa)
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Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 4:30pm.
If you're in a serious long term realtionship then why ask to give a BJ? I just give them whenever I feel like it.
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http://hesterprinesworld.blogspot.com/
A place for book lovers and free thinkers.
I never ask, I just take.
I'm a whore like that.
The woman seems a bit psycho to ask to smell his cock.It was wrong of him to hit her but I would have been pretty pissed off too.With a control freak like that I can see why he would be cheating.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
http://www.myspace.com/384080529
He's my boyfriend, and I've sucked him plenty of times, lol.
And I can't whistle, dammit!
Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 4:19pm.
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The way I see it, you are not degrading yourself, you are OWNING him. Just grab his man meat, put it in your mouth and have fun while you see him losing control. You got the power to make him squeal like a bitch and that makes you powerful. Never forget that my little grasshopper.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Stoney- nevermind my last post. I guess he is your live in boyfriend. Start with a handjob then go in.
Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 4:19pm.
I have a question for you hags in here:
How does a lady offer a blow job? I get too embarrassed saying "do you want a blow job?" It just makes me feel like I'm degrading myself or some shit, but I know the mens like it. I'm actually really good at it, and I don't mind doing it, I just don't want to SAY IT. Being verbal makes Stoney a little red in the face, if you can believe it.
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This lady hag advises the following: "just put you lips together and BLOW". I do that for my guy, a soft little whistle, and he knows exactly what's up, or what will be up and who will go down. No words required if you've been with him a while. He'll know. Enjoy!
I want to live only till I die, no more and no less - Eddie Izzard
If you think you're being cheated on then you most likely are. Don't ever run risk the smelling of suspected party's dick.
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http://hesterprinesworld.blogspot.com/
A place for book lovers and free thinkers.
xxyxz - I literally shoved my no no hole in his face on the couch last night while we were watching TV. BWAHAHAHAHHAHA!
He was like, "Uhm, is this a hint?"
HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHH!
I LOATHE the head pushing. And who was the fucker that told guys "it's sexy to twist their nipples?" Come here, let me kick yo ass.
"If I wasnt terrified of jail I wouldve pushed her ass down on the ground and cut her long, flowing Starbucks-then-treadmill ponytail right off her damn head!"--chefcammi
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Stoney- so he's a roommate or something? Well, I guess first you need to know if he is interested in you, so you can straddle him while he's sitting on the couch or something and maybe play with his hair and see if he makes any moves. If he does, the just do what the other horz are saying and go for the zipper.
Submitted by mentirosos on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 4:03pm.
Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 3:45pm.
Ok, I not over this shit yet. Seriously. Lemme smell yo dick?!? What is this? National Geographic? "Here we see the giant bearded toad reject her partner after sniffing his nether regions and determining he had recently copulated with different giant bearded toad that same day."
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Please, educate us all on what the more civilized "non ghetto" race does when they thing their significant other is cheating? How does one handle such a situation with pride and dignity?
Well you cut it off, naturally. ;)
"If I wasnt terrified of jail I wouldve pushed her ass down on the ground and cut her long, flowing Starbucks-then-treadmill ponytail right off her damn head!"--chefcammi
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RIMADYL KILLS
I HATE the head push! My man's a gentleman when it comes to that, thank god.
whats the head push?
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Happy Holidays
M.E
LMAO! It must be something in the air! I have been too
Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 4:30pm.
yeah i get what your saying sometimes its a little easier to be dirty with someone you dont know so well
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Happy Holidays
My slutty ass ex, who couldn't for the life of him stay monogomous, sucked at hiding his cheating.
First teh excuses: "I have to work late." "I'm going to a study group."
The mysterious text messages.
Taking phone calls "secretly".
Coming home from said study groups at midnight and immediately heading to the shower.
#1 dead give away, NOT BEING INTERESTED IN HAVING SEX. (with me)
No need to ask to smell his dick.
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 4:21pm.
LOL Stoney: just wait for the dreaded head push!****************************
Oh gwad that is SO humiliating.
"If I wasnt terrified of jail I wouldve pushed her ass down on the ground and cut her long, flowing Starbucks-then-treadmill ponytail right off her damn head!"--chefcammi
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
I'm not smelling anything.........one knows if their partner is cheating! You feel it in the gut.
Sorry asshole, the locks have been changed and your shit is on the front porch! Adi fucking Os!
It's just embarrassing once you really know the person. Sure, I could ask that shit while we're still dating, but we've been living together and we're such good friends I think I'd crack up laughing after saying "do you want a blow job?" I don't know, maybe I'm just fucked up.
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 4:21pm.
LOL Stoney: just wait for the dreaded head push!
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LOL, oh geez, I hate that! It's like being mouth raped!
Stoney..you just do it as soon as you head for the button/zipper hes gunna know whats up ;)
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Happy Holidays
Fuck that! I ain't smelling anyone elses juices. NASTAAAAY
"If I wasnt terrified of jail I wouldve pushed her ass down on the ground and cut her long, flowing Starbucks-then-treadmill ponytail right off her damn head!"--chefcammi
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by xxyxz on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 4:24pm.
Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 4:19pm.
Just unbutton and go to town!
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Exactly what I was going to say.
I've been a horney bitch lately, to the point where my husband called me a whore last night and it turned me on even more.
Pssst Stoney,
A little sheep told me today that blow job are kryptonite. Use the force. Wait...I'm getting confused.
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I think god had 7 kids. Aesus, Besus, Cesus, Desus, Eesus, Fesus and Jesus.
Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 4:19pm.
I see nothing wrong with being honest. Sometimes it may come off a bit strong but honesty is the best policy. I remember my first BF and I where in his car making out and I out right asked if he wanted a BJ. He looked at me like he just saw a ghost. If I had waited for HIM to make a move I would've never gotten past 1st base.
Theres nothing wrong in asking. Whats the worst that can happen? Saying no?
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I wanna nog your egg.
iheart
SUCIA!!!!!!
loves it!
Take his zipper down with your teeth...he'll know what's next LOL
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 4:19pm.
Just unbutton and go to town!
If we had to smell stinkfish-juice odors we would vomit on the spot!
YucccccccccccccccckkkkkK!
Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 4:19pm.
How does a lady offer a blow job?
*consulting Emily Post as we speak*
Stoney just tell him, "lemme suck yo dick" AHAHAA JK! Hell I dunno girl...is there any practical way to talk about oral sex? *shrugs* Say it dirty & crude and your man will most likely LOVE it!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
Stoney,
Just look at his crotch and he will say yes.
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I think god had 7 kids. Aesus, Besus, Cesus, Desus, Eesus, Fesus and Jesus.
LOL Stoney: just wait for the dreaded head push!****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
you don't ask if they want it, you just do it. they'll stop you if they don't want you to, although..idk any guy that would turn that down lol
Problem with sniffing her cooter is you might get a snootfull of another dudes sperm! Cant be good!
I have a question for you hags in here:
How does a lady offer a blow job? I get too embarrassed saying "do you want a blow job?" It just makes me feel like I'm degrading myself or some shit, but I know the mens like it. I'm actually really good at it, and I don't mind doing it, I just don't want to SAY IT. Being verbal makes Stoney a little red in the face, if you can believe it.
snowpiece..
mhy husband is 6 years younger than me and we've been married for 6 years and together for 8!
THis really is a sad story, fucked up but sad nonetheless... no one deserves to get hit and I hope they find the guy and she presses charges.. which she probably wont =(
MK- will you try to follow up on this story??
I'm about to lose my 1st place standing =(
Vote for my WORST Fashion Moment PLEASE!! @ http://www.pronto.com/87060-WM?successMsg=true The contest ends tomorrow!
There are plenty of other signs that will let you know if your spouse is cheating.
And if you're going to smell his dick. Do it descretely, like by offering a blow job or some shit.
Pissing myself you all!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 4:13pm.
if my bf is 4 years younger than I am does that make me a fucking cougar? LOL I think it makes me a the freaking BOMB!, ;P
hahahahaha you fucking rock!
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Happy Holidays
if my bf is 4 years younger than I am does that make me a fucking cougar? LOL I think it makes me a the freaking BOMB!, ;P
****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
OMG you guys are hella funny!!!! LMMFAO!!!
hahahahahaah
This post is hilarious(except for him punching her in the mouf part)
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Rivers says Merry Christmas! And I say Merry Xmas! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqgN0T6f1kg
Submitted by mentirosos on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 4:03pm.
Are you fucking kidding me? Are you gonna pull the race card on me? Not ONE TIME did I say anything about race!!! This is about TRASH. White, black, rainbow, purple, who gives a shit! If you ask someone can you smell yo dick you are TRASH.
An alternative, civilized method? How about, "can we talk?"
CHRIST!
"How does one handle such a situation with pride and dignity?"
Kick the cheating fucker out and change your locks.
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I think god had 7 kids. Aesus, Besus, Cesus, Desus, Eesus, Fesus and Jesus.
Submitted by xxyxz on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 4:07pm.
Duh! you hit them in the head with a frying pan!
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LMMFAO xx!!!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
That is the danger of being a cougar hunting down younger men. Ladies, stick to men your own age - esp if you're a cougar.
Submitted by Clarisse on Thu, 12/18/2008 - 4:08pm.
hahahahaha. Welcome. I'd lose my guy card for disclosing that, except guys are lining up to thank me.
Oh GAWD, Stoney, that killed me!
"Here we see the giant bearded toad reject her partner after sniffing his nether regions and determining he had recently copulated with different giant bearded toad that same day."
*mental note. blow job = kryptonite*
Thanks Sheeps.
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I think god had 7 kids. Aesus, Besus, Cesus, Desus, Eesus, Fesus and Jesus.