UGH: Christmas Is On Thursday
These pictures of Xtina and Bat Boy Christmas shopping yesterday reminds me of a couple of things. First of all, don't ever get your haircut like this or you'll look like a rockabilly chola on the short bus. Also, Christmas is basically fucking here and I haven't bought shit! Eff the season of giving!
This past weekend I wasted so many hours trying to buy shit for people, but I suffer from this disease called extreme selfishness, so it's hard for me to purchase crap for others. I could have bought myself a ton of good shit, but I had to keep reminding myself about the task at hand. I basically gave up and decided to drink a few peppermintinis instead.
This is what's going to happen. Come Christmas day, my family will get a ton of gift bags (who wraps anymore?) with pictures of different items in them. I did that shit last year. For example: my sister will open a bag and pull out a picture of the Sex and the City box set with an attached note that says "It's coming!!!" One year I even made a fake coupon with the words "Valid for a $40 gift certificate to American Apparel" on it. My selfish lazy ass couldn't even go out and buy a stupid fucking gift certificate! I'm the worst of the worst.
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LOL Hoffalina:
He's outclassed and outmatched by every member of the strong supporting cast, any of whom would have been more believable as Stauffenberg: Kenneth Branagh, Tom Wilkinson, Terence Stamp and Bill Nighy as fellow German officers, even Eddie Izzard, who's a unique and unexpected choice
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
I CAN HAZ LOLO!?!?!? :(
Truck stop chic!
Oh Michael, Jordan Bratman is a Hanukkah name, baby. So they have *both*.
Her hair looks like it's about to melt from all the bleaching. I can hear it scream from here!
CTH,
10 in Aurora. I had to go out at lunch and my nose hairs froze!!
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Hell is gone and heaven's here
There's nothing left for you to fear
Shake your ass come over here
Now scream!
Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 1:28pm.
WONDERFUL.
are you frozen solid yet? fuck me, it's twelve degrees.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
I can almost get with this outfit but Xtina always does this to me man...with the flourescent green out of nowhere. And yeah - you need a feminine jaw line for a hairstyle like that. And it would be cool if your hair was a little more like hair...you know?
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 1:26pm.
HIS NEW MOVIE IS TOILET BAT FOOD, OKAY WOW HAPPY MOM BOOT MOVES TIMES!
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Hoff,
A British paper reported on Cruise...
"Needless to say, there has been much anticipation over this film, especially since the lead role went to Tom Cruise, who has never quite got the knack of acting. He seems to believe that completely different characters require little or no change in performance, but is mysteriously still making films nonetheless."
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Hell is gone and heaven's here
There's nothing left for you to fear
Shake your ass come over here
Now scream!
I hate buying shit for anyone right now. I went downtown last Saturday and it was ABSOLUTE HELL in Ross. Makes me HATE X-mas plus all that annoying music they play in stores makes you want to SPEND LESS! They need to stop that shit and make it more spiritual or something....and not about buying crap for you or your "loved ones". Although watching two memaws fight over a scarf sounds pretty hilarious...!
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081222/ap_en_ot/film_review_valkyrie_1
read it and laugh hysterically, it's your christmas gift from the hoff!
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Submitted by lizardbits1 on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 1:21pm.
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Thanks - we've now managed to get him to admit he has a hearing problem so we're hopeful that it will only take months (not years) to convince him to get tested.
Re. your mom: if she's into him, you'd better get used to the yelling, loud tv and radio, repeating yourself, etc....but if he makes Mom happy, it's worth it. :)
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Watch out where the huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow.
christine the hoff on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 1:23pm
I saw that too!!!
AHAHAHAHAHA!!!
HI ZOMAY!!!
*eats another Hershey's Kiss*
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
What a terrible haircut! She looks like a special trailer home slut.
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
Clarisse! Thanks! My kitten loved it... he has the weirdest taste in videos...
**(with Elvis pout) Here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane!**
Submitted by RufusR on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 1:05pm.
Why are people compelled to give each other gifts at Christmas? Most of it is useless crap that no one really wants and that just adds to the accumulation of crap in our homes and lives. Why more gifts? Please explain.
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Well, I guess Christmas is supposed to be the time of year to not be a selfish son of a bitch. You're supposed to show gratitude for the blessings you've received and the blessing of Lil' Baby Jesus by giving to others and thinking of others and basically taking a break from being a dramatic, narcissistic, cunt for a day.
I know, I know. Many of us fail miserably. A fistfight broke out at my fam's 2004 Christmas get together. Lovely.
"Just wondering but how many of you bitches acctually read the book? because Im thinkin not many of you have the brain spain too read...."
-Mrs.Hardin21 on Twilight
christine the hoff on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 1:23pm.
hahahahh, off topic
the yahoo page has a story about how tommy girls acting in his new movie is so bad, people are squirming when he comes onscreen. lol!
that's a xmas gift.
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Indeed!
hahahahh, off topic
the yahoo page has a story aoubt how tommy girls acting in his new movie is so bad, people are squirming when he comes onscreen. lol!
that's a xmas gift.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Xtina looks ok,not great but not too bad
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
http://www.myspace.com/384080529
Repost cuz I don't want any of you poppets to miss this...
Turn your speakers up my little elves!!!
http://www.americangreetings.com/ecards/view.pd?i=479820587&m=7584&rr=y&...
Submitted by The C word on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 1:19pm.
My mom is dating an almost deaf guy. (Go mom! Get back on that fucking dating horse!) It makes me insane because HE YELLS ALL THE TIME and I have sensitive ears.
Makes me almost happy to be so far away from my family... almost.
Good luck with the hearing tests! :)
**(with Elvis pout) Here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane!**
Drive by comment to say Happy Holidays, everyone!
I love the Bratmans :)
Christina looks beautiful here - less is more, girl.
All I want for Christmas is Singstar Abba and I better get it!
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"Her voice sounds like a goat in heat..." - Balenciaga Bitch on Sarah Palin (10/6/08).
Submitted by lizardbits1 on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 1:13pm.
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It's really only funny if you're there...
To try and explain, it’s like hearing impaired Tourettes….we'll be talking about the sale on oranges at the local grocery store and he’ll blurt out something totally off-topic like, “THAT EGG SANDWICH GAVE ME GAS TOO.”
And because he’s deaf, he yells it out so everyone can hear.
Fun times with my Dad. ;)
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Watch out where the huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow.
snowpiece: saludos to LoLo! Thanks for that! Lol!
**(with Elvis pout) Here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane!**
Hey Hookers
LoLo sends her good tidings and these words to live by:
LoLo's Holiday Cost Saving Tips
1. Re-Gifting - I say do it! To ad a festive flare be sure to re-gift to the person who initially gave you the gift with a card attached that reads, "I love you so much I wanted you to have this back!"
2. Avoid costly lawyers fees by skipping the holiday cocktails before you sit on Santas lap.
Always remember that you are a guest on Santas lap and that like a vampire, you must be invited first.
3. Ga all Jehovah on your co workers asses. Forget those fools on the Holidays. These mouth breathers ruin almost everysingledayofyourlifewithstupidquestions. Why spend money on them? Tell your entire office you are now a Witness, make up an obscure week long holiday, scream discrimination if they challenge you, and take the money you saved not buying these asshats gifts to Puerto Rico where you will drink body shots off of 20 year old cabana boys washboard abs!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
HA HA HA!!!!!
****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
I CAN HAZ LOLO!?!?!? :(
They look happy and close.
Christina looks even more amazing, when she's holding our son. ♥
All around me that a change is bout to happen
The energy igniting has become my inspiration
If you take a deeper look you'll find the information
I'm only just a figment of controlled imagination
Submitted by The C word on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 1:11pm.
Must be awkward to bring significant others over...
Could you indulge me with one of his ALL CAPS weird yellings? Please? For a laugh?
**(with Elvis pout) Here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane!**
My brother and I pick out our gifts when we do our annual shopping trip together so we always like what we give each other.
The only thing we want from the folks is for my dad to get his hearing checked so maybe he'll stop yelling weird, random shit out.
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Watch out where the huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow.
Michael, honey pot, haven't you ever heard of the Internet????? That's the place to Christmas shop. You don't have to leave your bed and the gifts get sent to your door or the door of the happy recipient. Gift certificates too. In between picking pressies, I can pop over to dlisted to clear my brain or over to JJ for a quick laugh.
I haven't shopped in a store since 2005!!! Get with the program people!!!
Some Jewish folks do celebrate both Hanukah and Christmas. Especially those who marry a non jewish person.
Hey, I like giving and getting presents, Rufus.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
*trying to remove fucking scotch tape from Bozo's fur* Grrrr....I hate wrapping Cwismas Cwap!!
ON T: Someone es-plain why Xtina did this shit to her hair. Trailer trash chic.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
MK, you crack me up! Selfish bastard!!!!!!!!!
I hate trying to buy for people, I never know what anyone really wants.
Why are people compelled to give each other gifts at Christmas? Most of it is useless crap that no one really wants and that just adds to the accumulation of crap in our homes and lives. Why more gifts? Please explain.
That being said, Michael K gives the gift of humor, wit, sarcasm, (bitter) irony and truth every day, and for that I am thankful every day!
This is one of the few instances where her trademark vivid red lipstick would have looked better than that pink crap she's wearing.
Her haircut reminds me of Mama Brady... I'm not into the Brady Bunch to remember her name... help me out?
But seriously! The hair is close to the head and then flips at the neck. Or was the Partridge Family?
**(with Elvis pout) Here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane!**
i just assumed, at first glance, that he was shopping with his mother
Michael K.: The way to make holiday shopping bearable is by chugging Absolut out in the parking lot. That's what Xtina's doing in thumbnail 3. See, you just pour the vodka in a water bottle and nobody will know. Make sure it's good vodka--no smell, no tell.
"I suffer from this disease called extreme selfishness, so it's hard for me to purchase crap for others."
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I think this is my most favoritist MK quote ever. This is totes goinf on my Facebook fave quotes section (and i hate FB so this honor is huuuuge MK)
*****
~~not quite a Britaloonie~~
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
"YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE MY NUTS."-ShamWow Vince
Submitted by Sugaroo on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 12:58pm.
I'm fairly sure you know I could help you with that!
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Okeedoke, hand it over Sugar. I plan on throwing it hard enough to make it shatter so don't plan on getting it back intact.
God knows her plastic face could take it.
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Own it like a strap-on.
Your greatest gift is making all of us laugh our asses off. And with all of our collective problems and grinds, that's the stuff of Mother Teresa . So thank you for that.
Isn't bat boy Jewish?
she may get to shop but she still has to look at Batboy on a daily basis (and Mini batboy)
hey where is DAE these days? .
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
I CAN HAZ LOLO!?!?!? :(
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 12:57pm.
Is it illegal to bash her in the face a stale fruitcake?
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I'm fairly sure you know I could help you with that!
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Don't surround yourself with yourself; move on back to square.
Is it sad that I kind of like the rockabilly chola on the short bus haircut? >_>
What the fuck is with the Posh pout?
Is it illegal to bash her in the face with a tube of wrapping paper, or perhaps a stale fruitcake?
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Own it like a strap-on.
Submitted by lizardbits1
No, actually, she's just scary :(
"I suffer from this disease called extreme selfishness, so it's hard for me to purchase crap for others. I could have bought myself a ton of good shit, but I had to keep reminding myself about the task at hand"
MK is a man after my own heart.
****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
I CAN HAZ LOLO!?!?!? :(