John Mayer Hates Jennifer Aniston's Dog Friends
Most dog owners have a rule that if you don't become BFFs with their dog(s), then the fuck party must come to an end. It doesn't look like Jennifer Aniston is one of those dog owners. Gatecrasher says that Jenny did not bring her dogs, Norman and Dolly, to NYC while she promotes Marley & Me, because John Mayer would probably strangle or curse them out. He apparently hates hates haaaates them. So Jenny left them in Los Angeles, probably because she's dickmatized. And when you're dickmatized, the dick rules all.
A source said that John even hated Jessica's Simpson's angel of a dog Daisy. There's a special place in the toilet closet in hell for people who hate Daisy Simpson.
Jenny's spokeswhore said the story is made of a million lies, but I believe it. John Mayer probably farts at anything that takes the attention anyway from him. When Jennifer brushes her teeth, he totally yells at her fucking toothbrush. He's gross.
As a dog owner, I've never met a dude who didn't like my dog. It's mostly been the other way around. They like my dog better than they like me. They come over to hang out with my dog and leave me in the fucking corner like I'm a damn fern. My dog knows it too. He gives me looks like "Yeah, bitch. I got yo man!"
I honestly don't think I'd ever find a dude who liked me but didn't like my dog. I mean, my dog and me are so much alike. We both are stupid lazy sluts who love bacon and are easily amused by rubber toys. If you don't like him, you don't like me.
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Dog. Dick. Dog. Dick........
Dick fucking wins!
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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@K2: Exactamundo!
♥ ThreadKilla!
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Yeah you guys are right she looks so proud of "having a man" unfortunately this man is ugh! someone should really tell her that being single is ok.
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:26pm.
Get the fuck outta here! You gotta be careful, fraulein! Many of these hicks are armed!
Brill zippy comeback. I love those rare times when you can zing one in there without getting physically harmed, that is!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
...as a dog lover all I can say is - fuck that fucking fucker John Mayer!!!...
....and Jen's got shit for brains and no wonder Brad left her dumb ass!...
...dog power!...
We must see M.K.'s dog.
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"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.
"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz
M.K., you are an equal op shit disturber. We have a Jolie post and a Maniston post from you. Are you nursing your hangovers with Jägermeister? The NyQul of all boozes? lol
James Haven! "Mayonnaise" is perfect! On Wonder Bread, I might add.
Good to see your dimpled visage!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by James Haven on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:15pm.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:11pm.
mike! SmOOches & Hugs! So good to see you how have you been?
Same old rut, James Haven, but I hope you're well.
@ angel I love your cholatized Robert avi! That's a super chola hickey on Rob's neck, isn't it?
On Topic: John Mayer = peepee times
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Santa Clause and His Old Lady
Deb,
Off topic, but I have to tell this story!!
I stopped at Borders tonight and I was wearing a "Germany Deutscher Fussballvebrband" sweatshirt...I am getting in my car as this fat fucker and his S.O. are getting out of their car...The fat fuck side eyes me and says "Uh, you're in America"....I looked at them and said "UH, fat fuck, you're driving a Toyota."
Merry Christmas!!!
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Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.
john mayer looks high maintenance
but aniston will put up with it 'cause she's desperate
someone should tell her it's okay to be single
www.thatshideous.com
Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:15pm.
I try not to buy those desperate clingy Jen rumors, but Jesus, look at that pic! "Look at me! I gots a man!"
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I know, right? She's just an easy target. It's possible she could be looking like that cuz they did break up once, right? And now they're back together at the holiday. I'd prolly look like that in that situation...but with a WAY better guy, that's fersure.
♥ ThreadKilla!
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Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:13pm.
Can I just say that I got little chills running up and down my spine when I overheard two office workers today: "I just read that Brad won't marry Angelina until they go to counselling>"♥ ThreadKilla!
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If that's true, then we know they were blowing the smoke up our asses again! For the past few years they deny that they argue at all aside from politics and that of course Brad says "is all in good fun". Then recently Brad admitted that he stopped fighting with her when he filmed Benjamin Button because he realized life is too short... and now we have the rumors of counselling?
When will those two fucktards get their stories straight?!!!
Can both these bitches just go away. Ugh.
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"Her voice sounds like a goat in heat..." - Balenciaga Bitch on Sarah Palin (10/6/08).
Can I just say that I got little chills running up and down my spine when I overheard two office workers today: "I just read that Brad won't marry Angelina until they go to counselling>"
♥ ThreadKilla!
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Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:07pm.
Pets sense the bad ones. Your pet doesn't like someone, boot em.
On the flip side, you pick anyone other than your child over a pet, fuck you.
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Meh, that's what orphanages are for.... I KEED, I KEED...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
She has such a stupid face and if she is proud to be with that thing, she has major issues... Brad should be glad he left... But, he's still with another psycho! LOL!
I don't think its true, but yeah Clarisse, that picture says more than a thousand words and screams "I AM NOT PATHETIC!! I HAVE A MAN!!!".
And I am more of a dog person. Is not that I dislike cats is just that people that I know that have cats annoy me. I know its not the cat's fault but damn! I am sure they hate their owner as much as I do!
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"Hahaha....you are eating my caca and paying for it. Meeeeow." No gracias. MK
Rumor has it (no pun intended) that Vince Vaughn is getting engaged. Ouch.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:11pm.
mike! SmOOches & Hugs! So good to see you how have you been?
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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I try not to buy those desperate clingy Jen rumors, but Jesus, look at that pic! "Look at me! I gots a man!"
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Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.
Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:07pm.
Pets sense the bad ones. Your pet doesn't like someone, boot em.
On the flip side, you pick anyone other than your child over a pet, fuck you.
ITA. Jen's dogs probably do growl at him, and piss on his shoes, all the while giving him the stink-eye. (All while Jen is in the other room, of course).
Seriously, douchey is probably scared shitless of them, (and they're POODLES!). JK about the poodles.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
AWWWW! I love your dog story, MK...it almost made up for the fact I have to work till 3pm on Christmas Eve...SUCK!
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
Bad scene. People who don't like dogs suck. People who don't like YOUR dog suck even harder. End of story.
♥ ThreadKilla!
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For me, if a person dislikes animals, that tells me all that I need to know about them.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 7:57pm.
Provolone - you have been rather crude today. No?
Yes. And let me just say one of my favorite kid quotes was (knocks on door) *in lil kid voice* "mom, do you have pants on??"
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"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
@ Provo--
Ugh, Big Cheese, my psyche has been violated.
"Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers, and meeeee..."
<<
Submitted by Provolone on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 7:53pm.
Though there is something about kermit the frog hand soap that cleans the stank off your dick better then anything else.
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She looks like she'd rather be getting a pap smear from Freddy Krueger.
I can't believe she can't or doesn't want to do better than this gomer. I see nothing attractive about him. (especially after seeing the yellow unitard, which not even burning out my retinas will erase). And if he truly does not like dogs, he gots to go.
Love me, love my dog. otherwise, take a hike.
Even Vince Vaughn was preferable.
Pets sense the bad ones. Your pet doesn't like someone, boot em.
On the flip side, you pick anyone other than your child over a pet, fuck you.
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Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.
Submitted by James Haven on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 8:02pm.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 7:59pm.
SmOOches Momus! Good to see you. James Haven had some time in between makeovers and decided to catch up on some "D" time.
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When is Pam Anderson going to come see you? She's looking really haggerific. She needs you stat.
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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Submitted by barelybeagle on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 7:59pm.
My mom always told me to never trust a man who hates dogs. They're almost always a giant dickhead. I'm not saying that everyone has to be a crazy dog lover like me, but there's something off about people who severely dislike animals
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Totally agree. Dogs can smell/sense a bullshitter or a phony or a bully before they get within 20 feet of them. If someone hates dogs I instinctively don't like them much.
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The French say that the best part of an affair is going up the stairs. Desire is almost always more thrilling than fulfillment.
Submitted by barelybeagle on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 7:59pm.
My mom always told me to never trust a man who hates dogs. They're almost always a giant dickhead. I'm not saying that everyone has to be a crazy dog lover like me, but there's something off about people who severely dislike animals
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yeah, she's right. I definitely believe animals have a sense about people.
Maybe he was bit by a dog when he was younger and has a distrust when it comes to them. If he loves her though, he'll work it out.
Meh, I believe it. Jenny would strangle her grandmother to death for a man. Those dogs are toast in 5...4...3...
I usta have a pooch and that hot bitch was hyperactive and STRONG AS HELL...He couldn't help it. He had a lil' doggy heart of gold, but he was on CONSTANT PUPPY TIMES his whole entire life. Anywho, I dated a whore who didn't like him, but I flat out told the whore "he was here before you and he'll be here long after you." And my ass was right about that!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 7:57pm.
I'm enjoying Provolone's OMG EWWWWWWWW moments. I haven't been getting enough for whatever reason. I need more dirty friends.
**(with Elvis pout) Here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane!**
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 7:59pm.
SmOOches Momus! Good to see you. James Haven had some time in between makeovers and decided to catch up on some "D" time.
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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He looks like a dog hater to me. Time to kill the bastard.
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"The other night, I was so wasted and I decided to play this video in several browser windows at the same time. Don't do that. It's like opening up the portal to the dark world."
http://dumb-report.blogspot.com/
I thought there was a photo of John actually walking her dog, Norman. Hate to say it but if he doesn't like the dogs, eventually she'll put him to the curb. I have a feelin' she's not gonna let any man f*ck with her dogs. He better phony up to those dogs, just like Pitt had to phony up to Jolie's adopted kids! lmao.
Submitted by Provolone on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 7:53pm.
That's sick.
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Bye! Good
My mom always told me to never trust a man who hates dogs. They're almost always a giant dickhead. I'm not saying that everyone has to be a crazy dog lover like me, but there's something off about people who severely dislike animals.
Submitted by James Haven on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 7:51pm.
James Haven knows for a fact that Mayonnaise (as his friends call him) does not like animals!
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James, dahling. Long time no hear from. *smooches*
BTW: He can't be a total animal hater ... he seems to love the pussies.
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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An ex- once hated my former roommate and brushed his no no with her toothbrush as his statement of loathing. He even left a l'il hair on it.
This is one of the many reasons he's now an ex-.
On the positive side, he loved my cats.
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"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. " -- H.I. McDunnough
Provolone - you have been rather crude today. No?
The thing is, Mr. Pissy-Face Mayer LOVES the fucking attention. How hard is it for this dickhead to suck it up and try not to look like he's being tortured? If he's any kind of friend, I'd think he'd be more supportive of Jen, while she does what she can to promote her movie.
Fuck, can you imagine if the occasion was HIS band performing or the Grammys and Jen was on his arm looking all like she just got her period?
Ah the more I see him, the more I loathe this anus.
Jennifer can do, (and has done!), MUCH better.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by GazingBeauty on Mon, 12/22/2008 - 7:55pm.
You took the words right out of my mouth
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Bye! Good
What are you folks talking about? How can he hate dogs, when he is dating one?
<"They come over to hang out with my dog and leave me in the fucking corner like I'm a damn fern.">
Well, do what your dog did - quit trying to sniff their butt or hump their legs the moment they enter the room.
Dogs aren't the problem, its bitches with KIDS that are the problem!! Though there is something about kermit the frog hand soap that cleans the stank off your dick better then anything else.
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"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
When Jennifer brushes her teeth, he totally yells at her fucking toothbrush. He's gross.
He prolly peepees on the toothbrush MK. I think he's that gross.
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Santa Clause and His Old Lady
James Haven knows for a fact that Mayonnaise (as his friends call him) does not like animals! Maybe bunnies, but that's about it.
Jennifer better watch her pooches because John will do something to them for sure. Jennifer better find someone alittle more pet friendly. Ryan Seacrest loves dogs so Jennifer will win on both counts!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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