Suri Cruise Is Famous
Suri Cruise is really famous. Even more famous than her raggedy ass parents. She has the fan mail to prove it! Creepy? Yes.
Star Magazine says that the world famous superstar known as Suri gets around 100 pieces of fan mail a day from around the planet earth. If the Postal Service delivered shit from other planets, she'd probably get alien lovers from around the damn universe writing her.
A source tells Star, "She's even more popular than her superfamous parents. She has such a huge following that I'm surprised there isn't a Web site dedicated to her yet."
Apparently, most of the dumb dumbs writing Suri want to know where she gets her clothes. Do these crazies realize that she can't read? Suri probably will never learn how to read. All she has to do is wear hot clothes, flip off the paps and get carried around. Why bother learning how to read, write or walk?
I don't even want to know what the other letters say. That other shit probably has the PedoBear stamp of approval on it.
Tommy Girl definitely queefs over all the fan mail Suri gets. He probably replies to every single one with an autographed picture of Suri. Gross. Suri is seriously effed. She is better off running away and joining the circus.
Below is the world's most famous celebrity being carried by her bitch in NYC last night and this morning.
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angel_i you are too funny.
Thank God my parents aren't in the entertaining business.
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"Hahaha....you are eating my caca and paying for it. Meeeeow." No gracias. MK
I really despise Tom Cruise and the fuckery he and Katie Holmes are perpetuating by pretending he fathered this child. I'm sure Katie thought she was doing the right thing for her unborn baby when she found herself knocked up by that asshole Chris Klein, and Cruise appeared out of nowhere to be her knight in shining armor, but now she realizes she signed a deal with the devil. RUN THE FUCK AWAY, KATIE!!! And be honest about who's the father of the robochild.
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"The other night, I was so wasted and I decided to play this video in several browser windows at the same time. Don't do that. It's like opening up the portal to the dark world."
Submitted by jim on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 8:39pm.
YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I MEAN....REPORT ALL SICKOS AND BAD FUCKING PARENTS!!
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Yeah but I couldn't resist sneaking in a PSA. I sowwy. I'll write you a letter to make up for it...
Dear All Caps Jim:
I don't understand why typing in all-caps makes you feel more comfortable than typing in all lowercaps. All lowercaps don't yell and scream though so maybe you're in a yelling and screaming mood at times and therefore All Caps make you feel like you're gettin' your feelings out. I can't fault you that...there often times I'd like to ALL-CAP jerks in real life but I try to be polite and lady like and flip them my middle toe safely snuggled in my UGG boots.
Happy holidays btw...I hope you get lots of delicious food in your tum-tum and maybe one decent present from someone who truly cares about you and loves you.
Sounds like a Co$ recruiting scam to me
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If music be the food of love, put another glockenspiel in the easy bake oven...
Are you guys seriously bitching about some fantard writing Suri when kerzillerizionz of peeps write an imaginary obese guy in a red suit each year this time around hoping he'll poof down their chimney and land them a "Dude! I gotta DELL"?
-And Tommy wrote that letter anyway. He's a flaming narcissist. HELLOOOOOOOOO.
how come when katie trots suri out in the elements, the child is always wrapped in a blanket and never has on a coat, but when security carries suri around, she's wearing her coat?
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did you sleep with charlie the tuna last night or did you just forget to douche?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrJAgdMLsMI&feature=related
Dear Suri
When you are old enough, break away and write a tell all book, please be sure to include a chapter on your dad and his threesomes with Will and Revolta.
Happy Holidays!
Your Aunt Bea
YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I MEAN....REPORT ALL SICKOS AND BAD FUCKING PARENTS!!
There is something seriously wrong about an adult writing a letter to an unrelated child.
Moreover, there is something wrong with parents who pimp their children in order to stay in the limelight.
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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WTF? Who would write a fan letter to a three--oops, I mean, two-year-old? Sickos.
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Heath Ledger
4/4/79 - 1/22/08
wasn't that the point, to exploit Suri for fame and fortune.
Submitted by jim on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 8:18pm.
GIVING A SHIT ABOUT SOMEONE'S KID YOU DON'T KNOW===LOSER
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Sorry all caps Jim, but you're wrong there. If people stay silent and don't report abuse of a child just because it isn't YOUR child and not YOUR problem... you end up with this sick, fucked up tragedy:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1084972/Treated-like-dog-used-pu...
DO not read that link unless you are prepared to bawl your guts out, pound your fists towards the heavens and cave into a big, blubbering mess of tears.
Edited to say: I'm not presuming abuse here but caring about children enough to be concerned about them even if they are not our own is something that is a GOOD thing and should be encouraged.
Submitted by Rosemary on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 8:10pm.
Yeah, and If this is really his daughter I really think just about any judge would give katie full custody if not joint.
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I guess that all depends on the high powered lawyers on either side and if Katie would even survive long enough to take her case to court and get a judgement. It's hard to say ho far the sci-fis would go with a high profile case like this. A lot of people have supposedly offed themselves in that cult but I imagine in Katie's circumstance she might have a fighting chance.
Kind of a sad statement for the poor 'regular folk' suckers who didn't have money/fame/power to rescue their stupid asses.
I'll just never understand cultishness...just weirds me out.
GIVING A SHIT ABOUT SOMEONE'S KID YOU DON'T KNOW===LOSER
WRITING THAT KID A LETTER= FUCKING LOSER
@ Impertinent Vixen's avie (Manson witha Santa hat..)
I fucking laughed so loud at that. Thanks... just got back from almost getting run over in a parking lot so that improved my mood a bit. Hilarious.
Dear Suri,
It's freezing here in NYC, why on earth aren't you wearing socks or a coat? Tell your dumb-dumb parents to get with the program & start acting like normal New Yorkers. You're not in Hollywood anymore.
Love, Tinkuy
P.S. I think you're a spoiled brat & destined for a life of disappointments. Also, you're really not as cute as everyone else seems to think.
I can already see her doing an episode for A&E's "Intervention."
"My name is Suri, S-u-r-i and my addiction is (fill in the blank)."
Cut to - loading up her crack pipe while wearing silver colored flats, throwing something at guilt-driven Katie, screaming obscenities at TommyG and having a stoic expression while everyone reads a tear-filled letter asking her to get help while the crooked teeth counselor listens and waits for her cue with keys in hand to the white van that waits outside the hotel ready to take them to the airport.
Yeah, it could happen.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Nice to see Katie has switched shit up once again.
She now has Rod Blagovich's hairstyle. Feathered like some audience member on the Gong Show..
Yeah, and If this is really his daughter I really think just about any judge would give katie full custody if not joint.
Rosemary,
I agree about Katie writing the tell-all first...maybe through Andrew Norton Lady Di style...I don't doubt she already has the impetus...
I hate this man, more than john mayer.
Submitted by OXA on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 7:53pm.
I like Violet Affleck, the kid is always happy and smiling.
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I agree on that one- Violet is an absolute doll!
I really like Kingston Rossdale also. He's too friggin' adorable.
-Fuck you with something hard and sandpapery-
Put a coat on that bitch already. My God they suck.
I think Suri will start her own cult with all the asshats that are writing her. Then she can go head to head with her crazy Daddy.
I can't wait until this kid grows up and writes a book. She's doomed so she might as well make some cash to pay for the extensive therapy.
Tom probably takes each letter or e-mail to Suri and adds it to COS's mailing list.
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Hilton said that, initially, she was afraid to be in the house after the break-in, but she has since "upped the security majorly."
And I think she'll get to the point where she says "i love my daughter but i'm sick of this and I don't give a fuck"
Everyone can't wait for Suri to write a book, but I bet Katie will do it first. The way she is looking, she'll have a breakdown within a few years and write a book within 10 or give a detailed interview.
She is a cute lil girl but I do not see why anyone would send a fan letter to someone that can't read.People are lame.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
If they did their research instead of having their head up their ass, STAR MAGAZINE would know there is a Suri fashion blog that meticulously lists what she is wearing in a given pap shot:
http://suricruisefashion.blogspot.com/
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You better watch out, you better not cry.
I think Suri is cute and unique at the same time and also supposedly a freak's daughter and that's the obsession. At least most I think , think she is cute in a unique way.
We all know that kid just turned three.
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I like Violet Affleck, the kid is always happy and smiling.
oxa
How is this: I can picture Tom sending out Suri's little photo out to the queefettes that send her fan mail. Friggin dumb tool bag.
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http://myspace.com/steph_the_ripper
maybe i'm the only one...
but suri isnt the cutest celebrity baby
dont understand the obsession
www.thatshideous.com
I like the silver flats. Wow they really know how to spoil Suri.
This year Halloween fell on a weekend... Bushwick Bill
Varuca Salt.....Suri Cruise....yep, one in the same.
If I gave a F... I would comment..
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If music be the food of love, put another glockenspiel in the easy bake oven...
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 7:32pm.
She kinda has that look of when throwing a tantrum, it includes kicking TommyG's knees when she doesn't get her way. She runs the show and Katie has been reduced to carrying the prop from point A to point B.
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I just picture the Veruca Salt character from "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" when I look at Suri. You can't tell me that's not exactly what her future will be, only with e-meters and detox rundowns instead of candy and golden eggs.
-Fuck you with something hard and sandpapery-
You gotta admit Suri's a natural in front of the paps. She can find a camera and look right down the lens from 500 paces. Tommy must have fitted her with the pap radar device.
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Submitted by Nicole on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 7:25pm.
Why do people get so excited about Suri? She's an obviously spoiled brat, and I've seen way cuter kids. The little alien just doesn't seem that cute and sweet to me.
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She kinda has that look of when throwing a tantrum, it includes kicking TommyG's knees when she doesn't get her way. She runs the show and Katie has been reduced to carrying the prop from point A to point B.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
IMHO Suri is already part of the circus.
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She looks like she'd rather be getting a pap smear from Freddy Krueger.
Suri-bot's blanket must be with her at all times to keep her electronic parts from freezing.
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Don't katiebots arms hurt? I have a feeling Suri is not going to be attractive when she grows up 'cuz Tom and Kate are both average looking.
Why do people get so excited about Suri? She's an obviously spoiled brat, and I've seen way cuter kids. The little alien just doesn't seem that cute and sweet to me.
-Fuck you with something hard and sandpapery-
Submitted by paris herpes on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 7:20pm.
I'm not surprised she's not wearing socks, I see tons of people around here in SF not wearing socks with their flats. I'm wondering if they have feet made of steel because it is so damn cold over here!
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I saw two women today, in the FiDi, wearing flip flops. And, they were otherwise well-dressed ... coat, scarf. gloves. WTF with the flip flops?
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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"superfamous parents" ?!?!?! Did Star quote some star struck teenager?
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Dear Paquita LaBitch,
Nuh UH! They are SO still famous!
Neener, neener.
Queen Suri.
PS. I hate those paparazzi bitches but these shoes ain't free, nawmsayin'?
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
I'm not surprised she's not wearing socks, I see tons of people around here in SF not wearing socks with their flats. I'm wondering if they have feet made of steel because it is so damn cold over here! I think Suri's feet are blessed by Xenu and that barley water makes feet impervious to cold. It's like that crazy Chinese dude in college who used to wear flip flops while it was snowing. I think he has lost all feeling in his feet from doing that or whatever!
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
Uberhot celebspawn. Get this child to a movie studio stat !!!
Religion is the stick they beat people with...lsmith07
P.S. Moz tour 2009
http://tour.morrissey-solo.com
I am SO THERZ.
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"You can get it doggy-style or you can get it laying on your side. Those are your only choices. This is my house and I get the say."
P.S. Moz tour 2009
http://tour.morrissey-solo.com
I am SO THERZ.
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"You can get it doggy-style or you can get it laying on your side. Those are your only choices. This is my house and I get the say."