Suri Cruise Is Famous
Suri Cruise is really famous. Even more famous than her raggedy ass parents. She has the fan mail to prove it! Creepy? Yes.
Star Magazine says that the world famous superstar known as Suri gets around 100 pieces of fan mail a day from around the planet earth. If the Postal Service delivered shit from other planets, she'd probably get alien lovers from around the damn universe writing her.
A source tells Star, "She's even more popular than her superfamous parents. She has such a huge following that I'm surprised there isn't a Web site dedicated to her yet."
Apparently, most of the dumb dumbs writing Suri want to know where she gets her clothes. Do these crazies realize that she can't read? Suri probably will never learn how to read. All she has to do is wear hot clothes, flip off the paps and get carried around. Why bother learning how to read, write or walk?
I don't even want to know what the other letters say. That other shit probably has the PedoBear stamp of approval on it.
Tommy Girl definitely queefs over all the fan mail Suri gets. He probably replies to every single one with an autographed picture of Suri. Gross. Suri is seriously effed. She is better off running away and joining the circus.
Below is the world's most famous celebrity being carried by her bitch in NYC last night and this morning.
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No Socks!?.....Let me guess..MamaCruise is planning a fashion line of Suri's Socks. Aliens are wearing them, but she's not quite ready to introduce them to the peons living in the real world just yet.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
She looks so much like a friend I used to have, her daughter looked as a baby. She grew up to be very pretty, she's like 17 now.
I heard somewhere that Tommy Girl spent over $6K in gift wrapping alone for Suribot.
That. Is disgusting.
Submitted by softness1 on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 7:05pm.
I don't think Robots are bothered by the cold.
ha ha, I had a teacher that used to call everyone "dumb dumbs".
hahahahahaha
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"You can get it doggy-style or you can get it laying on your side. Those are your only choices. This is my house and I get the say."
Submitted by Sandbitch on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 7:09pm.
===Connor's first movie role screened in LA last week (Will Smith's new pic).
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Dayum! Really? Do you know what role he played...o wait - I can find that...
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Kinda buried. I betcha that's a planned move. Get him in the door quietly so nobody starts the nepotism chant. By the time they make a big deal of it, he'll have made a few movies and people can say he's "experienced" so it makes sense...
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Suri looks pissed and/or annoyed and/or scared in that first thumbnail.
I will write her a letter asking her jus that:
Suri,
Hope everything is going well in your golden dungeon. I want to ask you how do you feel about the paparazzi taking your picture? Do you know your parents are not famous or likable anymore? That's why the whore you around. Good luck!
Sincerely,
Paquita Labitch
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"Hahaha....you are eating my caca and paying for it. Meeeeow." No gracias. MK
Submitted by jim on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 7:10pm.
jim you do have a way with words
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I get up around seven...Get outta bed around nine...And I don't worry about nothin' no
'cause worryin's a waste of my... time
Sandbitch - I forgot about that. Poor Connor.
Guess he's just not "famous" enough.
I hate cruise.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 7:09pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 7:05pm.
Cue Suri's first movie role in 4, 3, 2......
===Connor's first movie role screened in LA last week (Will Smith's new pic).
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Dayum! Really? Do you know what role he played...o wait - I can find that...
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On the upside, Katie now has biceps like Carrot Top's.
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Hilton said that, initially, she was afraid to be in the house after the break-in, but she has since "upped the security majorly."
It was 26 degrees here last week. I went to the car and turned it on to warm it up 10minutes before the boys and I had to leave. They each had jackets and beanies and gloves on, OVER their normal clothes. When we got in the car they were still bitching about it being so cold and having fun watching their breath.
I can only imagine how fucking cold Suri must be.
OK.. IF YOU ARE WRITING TO A FUCKING LITTLE FUCKING KID YOU ARE EITHER A FUCKING LOSER OR A CHILD MOLESTER..SO TAKE YOUR PICK YOU FUCKING MORONS..FUCK WRITE TO OPUR TROOPS OVER SEAS, NOT A FUCKING KID WHO CAN'T EVEN READ..WOW THERE ARE ALOT OF STUPID FUCKS IN THIS WORLD!!
Okay. This picture was sweet:
http://dlisted.com/node/29900/images/spl69516_002.jpg
Damnit. I feel like a big ol' meanie now. Some Holiday spirit I have.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 7:05pm.
Cue Suri's first movie role in 4, 3, 2......
===Connor's first movie role screened in LA last week (Will Smith's new pic). Not one of the Cruise/Kidman family attended. WTF?
Yikes. That child has perfected her pissy look.
The Anointed One cried!
Oh, my stars! Someone reprogram MamaBot stat!
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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Oh Suri.
((sigh))
What have your "parents" gotten you into?? Honey, as soon as you're able, ask to be sent to a boarding school right away.
"Just wondering but how many of you bitches acctually read the book? because Im thinkin not many of you have the brain spain too read...."
-Mrs.Hardin21 on Twilight
I lust after that green bag. I have an old Esprit one the same color, but much smaller. I need one smaller than Katie's, but bigger than mine.
I don't blame Katie for carrying Suri when paps are there. I'm sure the little Antichrist can walk.
I'm also sure she can give someone a mean look and make their face disappear.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Cue Suri's first movie role in 4, 3, 2......
Seriously somebody needs to call CPS on them!!! It's cold as a bitch in NYC..How the fuck are they dragging her around with no socks on and no real coat on???!!!!
I don't give a fuck if she's just going from the car to the building, it's freezing..
Especially yesterday. They need to stop it
Fame whores!!!!!!!
Ha! Cuntalina must be in a jealous rage now! She's probably going to force those poor kids to start their own fan clubs! Put them into slave labor to answer all the brangeloonies! You all know the bitch has jealousy problems!
------------------------------------------------------------- *I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
I wonder how long before Suri gets her first herp?
This kid is goddamn funny looking.
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I get up around seven...Get outta bed around nine...And I don't worry about nothin' no
'cause worryin's a waste of my... time
Well, I guess their little plan worked then!
Bravo!
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