Christmas Eve Crumbs

Ha! I think WE can help!:
Would Someone Call Her a Bitch Already?

Drunk girl on cell: What? Did you just call me a bitch?
Drunk guy five rows behind her: She called you a bitch? Kick her ass!
Drunk girl on cell : That's like...psychologically impossible.
Businessman next to her: Physically.
Drunk girl on cell to business man: Did you just call me a bitch?

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Submitted by paulapoo on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 10:21pm.
edit: geez I screwed up cadavere.

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What an odd word. I never would have guessed.

Merry Christmas!

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The only healthy living thing on La Cadavere della Donatella is that big throbbing vein in her upper right arm. It serves as a makeshift heart, since hers shriveled up years ago.

edit: geez I screwed up cadavere.

OH FUCK.

Can I say "hate" on Christmas Eve?
Let's ask these people:

Little boy watching a man: What the fuck?
Mother, reading a newspaper: You better watch your mouth today, little boy!
Little boy: But mommy, he keeps banging his head on the pole!
Mother, watching the man: What the fuck?

--F Train

Overheard by: It looked painful.

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Submitted by Sheeps on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 10:08pm.

Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 10:06pm.

I wanna see your purty party dress. *sipping soy nog and something else*

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LOL! You just reminded me of the guy I sat next to at the dinner table...his wife on the other side of him and drunk. He leaned REAL close and said: "Nice dress". Um...yeah. Thanks. *flutter flutter smile at the wife* eep!;\

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I hate Drunken Stepfather but I can see why MK posts him:
On Daddy Spears:
"This guy is a cross between a modern-day cowboy and a drunken homeless sex offender only instead of being like the homeless dude I ran into this morning when walking my wife’s dog, who was just winding down from an all night Christmas binge that’s lasted the last 6 years in an alley outside my house, this motherfucker can’t formulate a fucking sentence or hold a conversation."

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Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 10:06pm.

I wanna see your purty party dress. *sipping soy nog and something else*

Rawhide in a bikini. YEEEEEHAWWWWWWWWWWW!

Submitted by Sheeps on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 10:03pm.

I see she's wisely used zinc oxide on her lips so she doesn't get any sun damage.

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So wise. I can only hope to be so wise someday...*sigh*

PS. Thanks for the evil eye:)

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MK getting schooled by his dad (OHINY):

More or Less, Allowing for Individual Variation

Father: It was the Million Man March. It was a million men marching in the capital for our people.
Son: No girls? No moms?
Father: No girls, just men.
Son: So there was a million penises?
Father (trying to bring it back onto subject): Yes. But it was the Million Man March.
Son: So there were two million balls?
Father: That's not the point.
Son: But everybody had one penis and two balls, right?
Father: Presumably.

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I agree that that is not Donatella Verace,I don't think Donatella is quite that bad,almost though.

Daddy Spears is supa dupa fly

Jenny Aniston well if they shopped her body why in the hell did they not do her fug face.Barf...

Keanu Reeves is a cutie

I love that issue but the stars without make up is my all time fav issue that they put out

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

I see she's wisely used zinc oxide on her lips so she doesn't get any sun damage.

How LiLo and SamRo hooked up (OHINY):

Right Between My Broccoli Florets

Girl #1, smoking: She was such a lesbian. She made vegetable lasagna. Vegetable lasagna!
Girl #2, in disbelief: Wait--so her culinary choices dictate her sexuality?
Girl #1: Well, then she fingered me.

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Oveheard in New York:

Not As Alive As His Twin, Cher.

Little boy: Daddy, is Michael Jackson still alive?
Father: Um...sort of.

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Submitted by TITS on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 9:42pm.

Submitted by bowen01sad on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 9:39pm.
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such a hard working spammer. Do you get paid extra for posting during the holidays
?
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It's a bot. I used to have one:) It's one person who gets a list of like 500 sites and then sends out one message that just blasts everywhere. You can pick them by category. So I guess that people on celeb sites really ARE the loneliest people to walk the earth! ;p

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Who are you kidding.... that bad boob job and wrinkled stomach in a bikini, it can only be Tara Reid.

Submitted by bowen01sad on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 9:39pm.
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such a hard working spammer. Do you get paid extra for posting during the holidays?

+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
A holiday ecard from me to dlisted. A ""prize"" to the first smart-ass that points out the typo.

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 9:22pm.

glad you are safe MK!!
ok, who's going to be the first to use Donatella as an avie?
*

I'm going to hold it in reserve for the start of swimsuit weather.

Until then... would anyone like a latke?

+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
A holiday ecard from me to dlisted. A ""prize"" to the first smart-ass that points out the typo.

Donatella/whoever-the-hell-this-is looks like the Nazis in "Raiders Of The Lost Ark" after the Ark Of The Covenant was opened.

Although, after one look at her, the Angels would have high-tailed it back inside, nailed the lid shut and levitated away screaming "Feets don't fail me now!"

Slut, it's about you posted something new!!!

That lady made upchuck my tamale!!

Submitted by dannygrl on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 9:23pm.

That is NOT Donatella Versace.
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LOL! Are you sure? I know who you're talking about tho...but I have no idea what her name is right now...They are Borg! They are all one! LOL!

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Submitted by dannygrl on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 9:23pm.

That is NOT Donatella Versace.

I think you're right.

That is NOT Donatella Versace. It's another socialite who is in her 70's. Someone should check their facts before posting stuff like this.

So you made it in one piece.
Have a great Christmas Michael, it's already 2 am here, so I must go to bed, Santa won't deliver any prezzies as long as I'm up.
Merry Christmas bitches!

Oh, Donatella, why?

Suppose she just started believing that looking human is overrated by the looks of it.
P.S: Merry X-mas, everyone~

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Do not wait for the last judgment. It takes place every day.

Albert Camus

glad you are safe MK!!
ok, who's going to be the first to use Donatella as an avie?

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I've thrown away the blues, I'm tired of being used
I want everyone to know, I'm looking for a good time.....
- The Commodores "Sail On"

I love that Star Jones is delusional enough to think she's two-piece ready. And isn't that Phoebe on the cover?

You must have overloaded the chimpanzee-popcorn popper story. Can't get it.

So how come they don't photoshop her face a little? Hmmm....

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Well, this explains a lot about poor Allegra's problems.

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Well fuck me in the Ozarks. Prescription drugs? I'm there already!--fuzzyslippers

IT WORKED! MORE HOS!

HALLE BERRY LOOFAH!

THANK YOU, JIM AND CHARLIE, FOR YOUR LIGHT SHINES UPON US IN THESE DARK TIMES!!! YAY!

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Here's a far more retro Keanu Reeves, from 1984:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Io0BqClHuPE