Courtney Love Is Entertaining
I'm sitting here sipping on some Asti like a real classy lady and catching up on all the shit I missed yesterday. I am so fucking glad I'm reading Courtney Love's latest crazy rant while riding on an Asti bubble, because it's so much more entertaining. Seriously, you would think I was watching a monkey washing a cat. This is some standing ovation shit!
Crack's finest customer spent her Christmas Eve morning going off on Kim Kardassian's brother, Rob. Court's full rant will make your eyes cross permanently if you're sober, so let me just sum it up for you. Basically, Court thinks Rob is a big gay hater, because he allegedly punched out her employee outside of Hyde in September and called him a fag. Here's a just small fix from Court's crazy party. Again, if you're sober, sip on some Listerine or rubbing alcohol before you read this shit:
Rob Kardashian the son of the discgr3aceful Robert Kardashian who represented a cold blooded murderer and made lots and lots of money..well rob jr cold socked and punched my employee right in his face for no reason and broke his nose after my GUY was hanging out with his pal Brody Jenner one night outside hyde lounge closed, then right after yelling the words "FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT!" Rob JR punched my guys in the face. My guy has 3 witnesses who saw rob jump out of the SUV and because of the fact that he works for me, a woman of power, you broke his nose and caused blood to shed, well lets fast forward shall we...the guy who works for me did not file a police report that night cause he did not need tmz's camera's outside this trendy nightclub to cause any more FUCKERY to what was suppose to be a birthday celebration, instead he came back to LAPD later and they told him to fold up his police report into a origami and hang it on his door.
If you're hanging out with that douche Brody Jenner, you deserve to get fisted in the face. And I loved that she called herself a "woman of power!" It's almost better than "businesswoman."
Court goes on to invite Rob to a night of dancing with homos, playing with make-up and ending with a little butt fuck fun with a plantain. Court is describing my New Year's evening to a fucking T. Well, except for the plantain part. I like my plantains fried, not mashed.
Kim, being the mega famewhore that she is, jumped right on this mess and responded to Court's shit on her own website. Kim wrote, "This is TOTALLY FALSE! A lot of what she wrote doesn’t even make much sense and doesn’t follow a clear train of thought... At one point she says Brody was there too and that someone yelled discriminatory expletives against gay people, but I honestly can’t figure out who she is accusing because her writing is so bad."
Kim needs to drink a full bottle of Asti and read that shit again, because I clapped at the end. I would love to watch Kim read Courtney's blog. You know her head almost popped off. Bitch probably couldn't complete the Dick and Jane books, because that shit was too complex for her, so Court's rant probably made her hair sweat.
I'm totally on Team Crazy, because if you get on her good side, she might let you pick something out of her "goody bag."
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Just how many Kardashians are there, anyway? Do they multiply like roaches or something?
Submitted by joe shmoe on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:04pm.
What is up with her pupils?
Rob Jr.:I think she teaches a lot of fat kids.
Brody: Why do you sat that?
Rob Jr.: Because she has large pupils.
Sorry that was really bad but I've had a LOT to drink today.
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Submitted by CatLover2 on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:05pm.
Thats all I got.
==Straying off T, but are you from the same litter as catlover? **scuttling off to register 2nd identity**
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:01pm.
Merry Xmas, Sockie!
On topic: Those are color contacts.
This bitch still being alive is NOT the xmas pressie I sent for!!!!
Clevelandsports,
Um, hey...you, uh, watching the Cavs game?????
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Ein Minuten, bitte. Ich habe einen kleinen Problemo avec diese Religione.
The Kardashians answer to everything is "Our attorneys are on it"....disgusting and perfectly symbolize everything that is wrong in our society. I wouldn't put this incident past anyone in their filthy famewhore family, so my gut tells me her brother is indeed a homophobe.
Team Crazy Courtney ALL the way!
Thats all I got.
TITS, your fruit cake would go great on my front lawn next to the mooning Santa.
What is up with her pupils?
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Chocolat
xoxoxox
Submitted by CatLover2 on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 9:59pm.
This lady is all kinds of messed up.
===Well that's the topic all wrapped up, what else you got?
Submitted by Charles Manson:
"OH THANK YOU LORD JESUS. THANK FOR YOUR EVER ABUNDANT FORGIVENESS AND SALVALTION AND LOVE AND FUCKING EVERLASTING FUCKING GLORY. AND BLESS YOU TIGERLILLY. OH THANK YOU PRECIOUS LORD. THANK YOU FOR MY CLEAN HOME, PLENTLY OF FOOD ON THE TABLE, A CLEAN SHOWER AND TOILET AND PLENTY OF SOAP. OH THANK YOU LORD JESUS."
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Oddly, that was a far more cohesive tirade than Courtney's. Maybe I'm still high from the crack fumes of her insane internet scrawlings though.
I like how my Cholly can appreciate a WOMAN OF POWER...Thanks Cholly...God bless your crazy fuckin ass too on this holiest of fuckin' days...I know, I know, I need to quit it with all the religious talk and shit, but fuck, it's xmas...Does everyone have enough PURPLE DRANK up in here?????
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by mike on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 9:55pm.
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I was following it until she referred to herself as a woman of power. Courtney Love, a woman of power. I just couldn't wrap my mind around the lunacy of that one.
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Hi! Mike! *sock monkey hug & smooch* I don't know what parallel universe she lives in, but...bitch shouldn't rant when she's tweaking.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Charles in the house! Hide your love beads!
Since neither one of those bitches were there. They both need to find something better to do than try to get some attention!
Rob is just as big of a douche as Brody so both can go battle it out.
Isn't a assistant for Courtney Love called a "drug dealer"?.
This lady is all kinds of messed up.
OH THANK YOU LORD JESUS. THANK FOR YOUR EVER ABUNDANT FORGIVENESS AND SALVALTION AND LOVE AND FUCKING EVERLASTING FUCKING GLORY. AND BLESS YOU TIGERLILLY. OH THANK YOU PRECIOUS LORD. THANK YOU FOR MY CLEAN HOME, PLENTLY OF FOOD ON THE TABLE, A CLEAN SHOWER AND TOILET AND PLENTY OF SOAP. OH THANK YOU LORD JESUS.
My last name is Asti!!
enjoy that cheap shit, baby lol
Courtney is my bitch. Leave her alone.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 9:52pm.
I don't speak "Crazy Courtney."
I was following it until she referred to herself as a woman of power. Courtney Love, a woman of power. I just couldn't wrap my mind around the lunacy of that one.
I don't speak "Crazy Courtney."
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
I'M A WOMAN OF POWER, I'M A BUSINESS WOMAN, I'M RESEARCHING A ROLE, THESE ARE NOT MY PANTS, SO GOOGLE ME YOU DUMBFUCK!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
OK, I got relatively crack-jittery just reading that rant. I have to say though, the picture of Courtney literally made me jerk backwards. It's like Goldie Hahn's death mask with marble eyes.
This crackhead's on my death list for 2008.
You still have six more days, you sociopathic murderess.
Man, it's nice to have MK posting on Cali time...
I'd like to see Courtney, Tara Reid, and Donatella at the same beach party.
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Je ne t'aime pas! Tu as une grosse bedine!
seriously i could feel my iq dropping as i was reading this shit!
WHAT THE FUCK! I REFRESHED AND SCREAMED OUT LOUD!
Don't DO that to me after so much food, MK!