Mohr Cox Would Have Been Better
Jay Mohr is so in love with Nikki Cox and her bloated butt lips that he's decided to legally take her last name. Jay and Nikki apparently got married 2 years ago. I seriously didn't know they were man and wife or perhaps I never really gave a kangaroo's dick and that's saying a lot.
TMZ says that Jay has legally added Cox to his last name, so now he's officially Jon Ferguson Cox Mohr. Um. If you're going to do that shit, do it all the way. Don't half ass it. It really should be Jon Ferguson Mohr Cox. If you had the chance to become "Mohr Cox," wouldn't you jump on that cox and ride away? Fuck yes. Shit. I might try to legally change my name to "Mohr Cox." I've been inspired.
Seriously, Nikki should really change her name to "Mohr Collagen." The bitch has a problem.While Jay was down at the court, he should have filed a restraining order keeping Nikki away from fillers, because those lips must stop growing. Isn't he afraid that they are going to pop at the worst time? She could be slurping on his peen and accidentally spring a leak in her lips. Juvederm guts all over his nutsack. That isn't love.
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Submitted by TITS on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 10:50pm.
Tiger - I believe in the states you have a DRIVE thru daiquiri bars. Beer coupons pales in comparison.
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Psssht...Whores wish...That's in the "grand ol' days"...Plus I live in Georgia, we can't even buy booze on Sundays! Nope, we have some hardcore booze laws here in the Southeast. The drive thru licka sto'...That's a relic of the '80's here...I doubt it still exitsts anywhere in this country and if it does a) love my booze, BUT BAD IDEA and b) that shit don't exist in the South East no mo'...
Nope, coupons is perfectly acceptable, nothing wrong wif discounted booze. Now the drive fru licka sto' action? No, not good. HOWEVER, let a ho buy booze on Sundays. What up wif dat mess?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Hey all sluts, this is terribly off topic. But, i just have to say.
dec 3rd i had a massive house fire that some jerkface decided to start. I lost everything i worked so hard for. Including my 3 little fur angels. This has been the hardest 3 weeks. Im still at a loss for how to cope most times. But you know what. Between MK and you all, im able to laugh atleast a couple times a day. With laughter comes atleast a glimmer of hope. You all totally helped me from slipping into a bad bad way. So believe me when i say thank you.
Submitted by wildchildintn on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 10:58pm.
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Do you have HBO or Pay Per View, or are you looking for an oldie but goodie that you have on DVD?
History of Violence if you have it on DVD.
Officer and a Gentleman just started on AMC.
HBO has How to Make an American Quilt or The Golden Compass (w/well hung Daniel Craig)
My hubby has a BAD cold. So I came home today and he's sitting in the basement drowning himself in Capt.Morgan. He says he has to..to "get rid of this shit". Now his drunk ass is snoring and gurgling.
Someone suggest a good movie..I'm f'ing bored.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 10:47pm.
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That's why I sent the nephew that no one would miss. I'm happy to report that his mother is now off all her anti-anxiety medications and planning her marriage to a gobbillionaire. Lemme know where you'd like the champagne coupons sent, eh?
Submitted by NitWitty on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 10:51pm.
They all sorta' blend together in my old drunken days.
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What do you mean "old drunken days?" You were drunk yesterday! *ducking empty box wine thrown at my head*
ARE YOU FUCKING THERE GOD? IT'S ME, MARAGRET!
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Submitted by EvilShoe on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 10:43pm.
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I'm not sure, ES. We didn't get that book unitl after we saw the menses video and received a copy of "The Way." They all sorta' blend together in my old drunken days.
Tiger - I believe in the states you have a DRIVE thru daiquiri bars. Beer coupons pales in comparison.
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Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock
Submitted by NitWitty on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 10:36pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 10:34pm.
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You're such a liah! You asked me to send you Omaha steak coupons and you wanted my nephew to deliver them in person. Pffft. Fickle Pickle.
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Oh yes! I don't know what the screw up was there, and I'm sorry your nephew went missing...er, is late upon returning on his aborted mission...*tiger eyes darting back and forth*...Yes, I'm sure it's the delay in holiday travel and a glitch in his mobile phone carrier that has him seemingly temporarily...er, unavailable...*stirring delicious bubbling pot of nephew stew, adding pinch of cinnamon*...Ok, thanks so much for the effort, but I must tend to din-din's...*tiger kisses*....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by NitWitty on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 10:10pm.
Submitted by TITS on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:57pm.
remember when you'd buy a pad from the machine in the bathroom and it came with safety pins?
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What is even worse...we now understand why our mothers always had safety pins and bobby pins in the same bathroom drawer.
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So, uh, does this have to do with that thing in the book "Are you there God? It's me Margaret."??? She talked about some weird contraption for pads.
i was pretty sure they were his bottom teeth
:)
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Submitted by NitWitty on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 10:35pm.
Sheeps is prolly getting testosterone shots as we speak!
Submitted by Hysteria on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 10:33pm.
i wonder if those are his top or bottom teeth
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LOL! I was thinking they both have piano keys for teeth....but didn't wanna say...
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 10:34pm.
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You're such a liah! You asked me to send you Omaha steak coupons and you wanted my nephew to deliver them in person. Pffft. Fickle Pickle.
Submitted by Hysteria on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 10:33pm.
LMFAO! I'm crackin' up just imagining those as his bottom teeth.
Poor Sheeps. Between the menses, hemrhoid, belts and sanitary napkins, not to mention the Caption this, tampon talk. I can only imagine his therapist bill for tonight's convos alone. Someone who lives in Cali do me a favor and call the suicide hotline and see if he's there? We may have lost him this time.
What's wrong with beer coupons for your birthday, eh? Anyone can't appreciate that is a hoser....:-P
I keed, I keed...
Wait...We don't even have beer coupons in the US, do we???? WTF???? I WANT BEER COUPONS AND I WANT THEM NOW, NOW, NOW!!!!! AND WINE COUPONS, LOTS AND LOTS OF WINE COUPONS...AND VODKA COUPONS...OH AND TEQUILLA...FUCK JUST HAVE SHITLOADS OF BOOZE COUPONS! And have your son send my tiger ass that for my birfday....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
i wonder if those are his top or bottom teeth
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Submitted by Sluttsville on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 10:16pm.
Holy Lisa Rinna, is she trying to make up for what he lacks in the lip department?
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I think she needs those plumped lips so she can keep ahold of his face. Pornstache is a bitch to makeout with.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 10:23pm.
Slutty, you and Nitty need to play nice now.......
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You need to tell *her* that!! *said in a true holiday family get together fashion* Don't forget, Slutty's from the south. She'll end every sentence with "sugah" right after she tells you to put a boot up yer butt and you'll thank her for it!
there is fug afoot, but jay and nikki appear to be happy, so what can i say...except now that jay's taken on nikki's name, this marriage is on countdown for self destruct...
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did you sleep with charlie the tuna last night or did you just forget to douche?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrJAgdMLsMI&feature=related
Happy Day, Sally!
beer coupons....AW-hahahahaha!!
(i'm gonna remember that for my 21 beer-aholic relatives)
;D
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He looks like a little rodent to me. No?
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Titty-fucking her would be like boning an empty horse scrotum.
Slutty, you and Nitty need to play nice now.......
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I live my life like there's no tomorrow
and all I've got, I had to steal
Least I don't need to beg or borrow
Yes I'm livin' at a pace that kills
- Van Halen "Running With The Devil"
Submitted by KatieScarlett on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 10:08pm.
hey HOFF YOU OLD LEZ YOU !! * HUGS****
HOW IS LIFE IN YUR TRAllER YOU JELLIS LESBEAN?
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THE REPO MAN CUM TOOKED IT...
AM LIVIN WIF SUGAROO NOW, SHE SECRETLY LOVES ME
MUSTANG SALLY DON'T KNOW YA GIRL BUT
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU !!!!! HAVE ONE FER ME!!!
XOXOXOXOX KATIE SCARLETT NOT A TROLL.. I AM MUCH
PURTIER ASK THE HOFF...
They look happy but he is obviously pussy whipped.
Between two evils I always pick the one I never tried before.
*throws porkchops at Katie Scarlet*
Submitted by Sluttsville on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 10:16pm.
Holy Lisa Rinna, is she trying to make up for what he lacks in the lip department?
Good evening everyone
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LMAO. Don't make me hurt you tonight, K?
happy berfday, mustang sally!
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did you sleep with charlie the tuna last night or did you just forget to douche?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrJAgdMLsMI&feature=related
Submitted by KatieScarlett on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 10:07pm.
thanks.
He will be missed...just not by the other cat or my dog!
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Jimmy Mack, when are you coming back?
aww is that your dog in your pic? I lost my last dog at a young age.. its tough to lose a pet.
BTW ( don't throw things at me people )
I heard Marley and Me was really cute.. going to see it tomorrow ....
Sluttsville,
*bowing deeply*
So nice to see you.
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Jimmy Mack, when are you coming back?
Submitted by Mustang Sally on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 10:12pm.
Sock-Monkey, wherever you are, I've been trying to tell you how adorable you are and that I have found a wedding dress pattern for you - if you ever want to get married and end up with that MIL from the Cuntry Club. It's polyester but could easily be changed to silk.
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Happy Birthday, Mustang Sally! *sock monkey hugs & smooches* *handing you a little chocolate frosting cupcake with a candle* As for the wedding dress...I like to make my future MIL sweat (she sweats formaldehyde & botox)...we go back & forth with the date and the dress and all the shit that goes with planning a wedding. I'll let ya know!!!
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Slutty! ♥♥
*throws confetti in the air and blows horn*
Happy Birthday!!
Awww Mustang Sally Happy Birthday! ♥♥
Submitted by Mustang Sally on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 10:12pm.
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Ride Sally, Ride. And many happy returns. And IG would like your beer coupons if you're not going to use them. It's all good tho. She's a Canuck too. May the coming year bring you only the best.
Happy Birthday Mustang Sally!
Ride, Sally ride!
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I live my life like there's no tomorrow
and all I've got, I had to steal
Least I don't need to beg or borrow
Yes I'm livin' at a pace that kills
- Van Halen "Running With The Devil"
Holy Lisa Rinna, is she trying to make up for what he lacks in the lip department?
Good evening everyone.
Mustang Sally -- FOR U DEAREST!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKUVThtUUTo
shake a tail feather
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Jimmy Mack, when are you coming back?
Submitted by KatieScarlett on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 10:07pm.
thanks.
He will be missed...just not by the other cat or my dog!
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Jimmy Mack, when are you coming back?
Hi hos,
Okay, this is sort of off topic - but I'm drunk so I don't care.
I turned (well, I don't know what that means, actually) 60, today, so I think that dude on the right with the big lips and Mohr Cox looks pretty good. You youngsters, just wait.
Sheeps, you're a little bugger. Yes, "Painted Ladies and a Bottle of Wine" WAS a long time ago. Thank you SO much for reminding me. :)
Now, for all you who want to know more about Canadians (all two of you), my 33-year-old son (who owns his own freaking house) got me BEER COUPONS for my 60th birthday. No joke. Anyone who wants a 12-pack of Molson Carling lager, drop me a line. :) There IS a reason behind some Canuck stereotypes.
Sock-Monkey, wherever you are, I've been trying to tell you how adorable you are and that I have found a wedding dress pattern for you - if you ever want to get married and end up with that MIL from the Cuntry Club. It's polyester but could easily be changed to silk.
Being 60 (but not looking it), I should be allowed to name all the people on Dlisted whom I adore but some jackass would start yelling at me for being off topic or tell me that I'm talking to myself because I'm all those people.
You guys and gals make my life fun. Thank you and good night.....collapsing after too much wine.
Love,
Mustang Sally
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erEoQH33B70
True nitty - this was before pubic hair trimming/shaving became de rigeur ...
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Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock
Submitted by KatieScarlett on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 10:08pm.
hey HOFF YOU OLD LEZ YOU !! * HUGS****
HOW IS LIFE IN YUR TRAllER YOU JELLIS LESBEAN?
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Submitted by TITS on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:57pm.
remember when you'd buy a pad from the machine in the bathroom and it came with safety pins?
****************
What is even worse...we now understand why our mothers always had safety pins and bobby pins in the same bathroom drawer.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:56pm.
I hope you haven't been missing from here, b/c you were getting a facelift or something.....(just trying to be somewhat on topic here)
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hey doll, just call me Joyce Wildenstein.
*trying to smile*
*having difficulty doing so*
Doctor says I should be able to move my face in a few weeks or so.
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Jimmy Mack, when are you coming back?
hey HOFF YOU OLD LEZ YOU !! * HUGS****
*plans to go on a google vacation tonight*
*giggles*
oh your kitty died Mrs. Kravitz? I don't know you at all but I am sorry !!!
Thank you, CTH
He was a good boy.
Meanwhile, Diva, my other cat, is doing the dance of joy.
She LOVES being the only cat.
She is planning Minch's demise as we speak!
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Jimmy Mack, when are you coming back?