Mohr Cox Would Have Been Better
Jay Mohr is so in love with Nikki Cox and her bloated butt lips that he's decided to legally take her last name. Jay and Nikki apparently got married 2 years ago. I seriously didn't know they were man and wife or perhaps I never really gave a kangaroo's dick and that's saying a lot.
TMZ says that Jay has legally added Cox to his last name, so now he's officially Jon Ferguson Cox Mohr. Um. If you're going to do that shit, do it all the way. Don't half ass it. It really should be Jon Ferguson Mohr Cox. If you had the chance to become "Mohr Cox," wouldn't you jump on that cox and ride away? Fuck yes. Shit. I might try to legally change my name to "Mohr Cox." I've been inspired.
Seriously, Nikki should really change her name to "Mohr Collagen." The bitch has a problem.While Jay was down at the court, he should have filed a restraining order keeping Nikki away from fillers, because those lips must stop growing. Isn't he afraid that they are going to pop at the worst time? She could be slurping on his peen and accidentally spring a leak in her lips. Juvederm guts all over his nutsack. That isn't love.
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Submitted by TITS on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 10:02pm.
why didn't they just say one day you'll wipe yourself and find blood? That would have been a lot more helpful.
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And WHY THE FUCK didn't they tell me it would last until the end of my god forsaken life?!?!?!?!?!
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Jimmy Mack, when are you coming back?
Oh, Mrs. K. that sucks. hugging you over the web internets...
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Submitted by NitWitty on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:55pm.
Submitted by TITS on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:53pm.
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I got that too...That and be afriad of your middle school gym teacher. Be very afraid.
*
Mine was a robust earnest mother type - no fears.
why didn't they just say one day you'll wipe yourself and find blood? That would have been a lot more helpful.
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Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock
jeez a saturday nite and all my favorite peeps are here, I love you guys~
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Submitted by christine the hoff on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:54pm.
yes, suddenly and unexpectedly...last Saturday night...after the latke party.
http://image16.webshots.com/16/6/18/84/189961884HghMqG_fs.jpg
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Jimmy Mack, when are you coming back?
I do however still have the sanitary napkin belt that was enclosed inside the cover of the pamphlet. Don't suppose you could use that?
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oh nooooOOOOOooo
brr
flashbacks.
remember when you'd buy a pad from the machine in the bathroom and it came with safety pins?
I think I was one of the first people to fully embrace peel and stick pads. And wow were they crappy at first! Not good adhesive.
Pad belts reminds me of a time before debit cards.
shudder.
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock
SING ALONG!!!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtKt5atfrdg
Like a fool I went and stayed too long
Now Im wondering if your loves still strong
Oo baby, here I am, signed, sealed delivered, Im yours
Then that time I went and said goodbye
Now Im back and not ashamed to cry
Oo baby, here I am, signed, sealed delivered, Im yours
Here I am baby
Oh, youve got the future in your hand
(signed, sealed delivered, Im yours)
Here I am baby,
Oh, youve got the future in your hand
(signed, sealed, delivered, Im yours)
Ive done alot of foolish things
That I really didnt mean
Hey, hey, yea, yea, didnt i, oh baby
Seen alot of things in this old world
When I touched them they did nothing, girl
Oo baby, here I am, signed, sealed delivered, Im yours, oh Im yours
Oo-wee babe you set my soul on fire
Thats why I know you are my only desire
Oo baby, here I am, signed, sealed delivered, Im yours
Here I am baby
Oh, youve got the future in your hand
(signed, sealed delivered, Im yours)
Here I am baby,
Oh, youve got the future in your hand
(signed, sealed, delivered, Im yours)
Ive done alot of foolish things
That I really didnt mean
I could be a broken man but here I am
With your future, got your future babe (here I am baby)
Here I am baby (signed, sealed delivered, Im yours)
Here I am baby, (here I am baby)
Here I am baby (signed, sealed delivered, Im yours)
Here I am baby, (here I am baby)
Here I am baby (signed, sealed delivered, Im yours)
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Jimmy Mack, when are you coming back?
Hi MrsK! I hope you haven't been missing from here, b/c you were getting a facelift or something.....(just trying to be somewhat on topic here)
I've missed you.
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I live my life like there's no tomorrow
and all I've got, I had to steal
Least I don't need to beg or borrow
Yes I'm livin' at a pace that kills
- Van Halen "Running With The Devil"
Submitted by TITS on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:53pm.
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I got that too...That and be afriad of your middle school gym teacher. Be very afraid.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:39pm.
wait, you just lost your cat?
jesus, I'm sorry. I have a male cat, Linus and he is my heart.
xoxoxoxooxoxo
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
mike,
You'd think I'd be inured to the filth by now.
Submitted by NitWitty on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:32pm.
DeeDee and Clarisse, didn't you guys get the "rule book" when you turned 13? I thought it was every girl's right of passage. The handed it out right after the grainy black and white movie about your menses.
*
The only thing I took from those films was that I would feel the need to bathe more frequently.
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Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock
This bitch can suck four dicks at the same time wif dat mouf, and she can castrate four fuckers at the same time wif dem teef too...Wait, is we long lost sistas? Bitch shaved herself, cut off her tail, fuck pumped her lips, got human veneers, but I'd recognize that man eatin' mouf anywheres! SISSY! Call me!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by NitWitty on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:48pm.
The sanitary napkin belt. Thank Jebus I didn't have to use one of those. How do you disguise that under your pants discreetly?
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:44pm.
But I do accept latkes as bribes!
here
*tossing soggy latkes at Nit*
Sorry, they're a week old.
Auntie Flo and I are engaged in an ultimate fighting death match.
And that bitch means business!
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Eeps, gonna have to pass. Have had enough soggy shit flying past my head over the past few days. It is the holidays afterall.
Submitted by DeeDee on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:43pm.
@ Nitty
Menses! hahahahaha I must have thrown out the book along with my Tiffany Trapper Keeper. Shit. Can I borrow yours? It's not all stained with menses and zit puss is it?
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Sorry, we were forced to remember it by verse then swore to burn it. I do however still have the sanitary napkin belt that was enclosed inside the cover of the pamphlet. Don't suppose you could use that?
Thanks, Joe.
He was one damn fine sexy beast.
*wiping tears*
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Jimmy Mack, when are you coming back?
* asks CHARLES MANSON for a dance
cues Beach Boys music
All I know is, I keep asking Jim and charles manson for their hands in marriage, and they never answer. I'm feeling very unloved just now.
my son got garfield gets real on DVD for xmas and he's watching it as his nite nite movie yet again, and i'm ready to get violent..
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Tarter sauce!
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:41pm.
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Off topic: Hey Mrs K., I was very sorry to hear about your cat passing away.
ON topic: Yeh. Whateva.
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I’ve turned from an ordinary Australian housewife into a gigastar, icon, talk-show host, swami, spin doctor… and now I’m a style guru!
But I do accept latkes as bribes!
here
*tossing soggy latkes at Nit*
Sorry, they're a week old.
Auntie Flo and I are engaged in an ultimate fighting death match.
And that bitch means business!
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Jimmy Mack, when are you coming back?
@ Nitty
Menses! hahahahaha I must have thrown out the book along with my Tiffany Trapper Keeper. Shit. Can I borrow yours? It's not all stained with menses and zit puss is it?
Submitted by madam s. on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:32pm.
I've clicked on a lot of very punishing links today.
LOL! Surely you know that's part of the dlisted experience.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:38pm.
Would you add any spices to that, or just serve it as is?
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tartar sauce
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Jimmy Mack, when are you coming back?
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:39pm.
LOL! It may be too late. But I do accept latkes as bribes!
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:39pm.
You funny!
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:38pm.
cuz he's down under
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*spews drinkie* *daintily wipes mouth with napkin*
Oh, Mrs. K!! LOL
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
*throws turkey in a deep fryer*
Submitted by NitWitty on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:32pm.
The handed it out right after the grainy black and white movie about your menses.
**
don't go there, Nit, J-U-S-T D-O-N'-T
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Jimmy Mack, when are you coming back?
Submitted by Charles Manson on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:37pm.
This coming from a man who is from a place where they deep fry turkeys!
Submitted by Charles Manson on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:37pm.
PEOPLE ALL OVER THE FUCKING GODDAMN WORLD LIKE TO MAKE FUN OF US FUCKING GODDAMN SOUTHERNERS. BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, WE WILL TAKE A FUCKING BASS BLOATED FISH LIPPED THING THAT THE FUCKING BITCH AND THROW IT IN 5 INCHES OF CRISCO AND IT WILL BE REALL GODDAMN TASTY. FUCK.
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Would you add any spices to that, or just serve it as is?
************
I’ve turned from an ordinary Australian housewife into a gigastar, icon, talk-show host, swami, spin doctor… and now I’m a style guru!
PEOPLE ALL OVER THE FUCKING GODDAMN WORLD LIKE TO MAKE FUN OF US FUCKING GODDAMN SOUTHERNERS. BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, WE WILL TAKE A FUCKING BASS ASS BLOATED FISH LIPPED THING LIKE THAT FUCKING BITCH AND THROW IT IN 5 INCHES OF CRISCO AND IT WILL BE REALL GODDAMN TASTY. FUCK.
See what you started MK? Somehow I linked to Awfulplasticsugery.com which led me to an interesting before/after montage on Youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-bKSWz5rMY
Submitted by deejayspicerack on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:32pm.
wait wait,
why is the kangaroo's ween behind his balls?
*
cuz he's down under
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Jimmy Mack, when are you coming back?
JESUS & CHARLES MANSON in the same room? Who woulda thunk it?
deejayspicerack,
Something about "hitting it from behind", but you'll have to wait until Team Valtrex gets here for the full scoop.
*shaves Jay's moustache and pops bitches tittays*
~~~~~~I heart America~~~~~~~~~
Sheeps,
"Skippy the Bush Kangaroo" is some inspired naming. By the producers of "Fluffy the House Cat" and "Trunky the Jungle Elephant"?
wait wait,
why is the kangaroo's ween behind his balls?
DeeDee and Clarisse, didn't you guys get the "rule book" when you turned 13? I thought it was every girl's right of passage. The handed it out right after the grainy black and white movie about your menses.
I've clicked on a lot of very punishing links today.
Submitted by mike on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:12pm.
Mancini did the theme to Peter Gunn and "Moon River"! For those I give him a lifetime pass.
Jay Cox Mohr should really get rid of the fur on his upper lip. He looks just like me 8th grade math teacher who used to touch me in inappropriate places
I thought she was a lesbian?
DeeDee,
SOMEONE had to WRITE the rules, no?
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Ein Minuten, bitte. Ich habe einen kleinen Problemo avec diese Religione.
Submitted by NitWitty on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:20pm.
C'mon, DeeDee. You know the rule. You can't pluck a man's eyebrows until you've at least popped three of his zits.
_____________________________
Okay. Geez all these rules. How do you know these rules BTW?
Submitted by Sheeps on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:22pm.
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ROFLMAO! Wine's definitely flowing at your place. I can be there in 3 hours! hahahahaha
Skippy, indeed!
That is just stupid. First of all, Nikki Cox is the most obnoxious stripper name ever, so she should just be grateful and make the SLIGHT upgrade to Nikki Mohr. Unless they're doing it to be funny. Which would still be stupid.
I don't know anything about this guy, but I kind of feel sorry for him, like if he moved out of L.A. and got some perspective he would do alright.
I disagree about mustaches being a bad thing (C'mon...Tom Selleck with his Magnum P.I. stash was tooooo sexy) but Jaybo doesn't need the lip fuzz and looks kinda child-toucher-y with it.