Brad Beaten By A Dog!
Anybody who calls themselves a Brangaloonie should punish themselves today by going to see Marley & Me, because they have failed one of their gods! They should have been protesting outside of movie theaters with help of (SPOILER ALERT) these posters! Because they didn't do that shit Benjamin Button got his ass beat by Jennifer Aniston and her dog friend. HA! Marley & Me was the #1 movie this weekend with around $37 million. So far it has made $51 million in just 4 days. Benjamin Button came in at #3 with $27 million and a total of $39 million. Somewhere in the world Jennifer Aniston is texting Maddox with: "Suk on dat!"
I decided to go see that Benjamin Button shit on Friday, but only for Tilda Swinton. I would work the streets in a crotchless bikini made out of salami for Tilda, so I dropped $12 to support her ass. I should have left after her part and snuck into Marley & Me, because that shit was way too long. It was 3 damn hours! When my tub of popcorn ran out after the second hour, I knew I was in trouble. The story sort of reminded me of Forrest Gump. But Forrest Gump without the delicious box of chocolates! Instead of chocolate we got an old creepy baby.
What surprised me the most about this weekend's box office is the fact that Tommy Girl's big gay Nazi movie made $21 million! Not 21 dollars, 21 million dollars! The fuck?! There must be a lot of whores out there who really hate themselves. That's the only reason I can think of on why a dumb bitch would spend their money on a 2-hour torture session. Either that or there's a ton of crazy aliens lovers out there.
The weekend box office from Dec. 26th to 28th looked like this:
1. Marley & Me - $37 million
2. Bedtime Stories - $28.1 million
3. The Curious Case Of Old Baby - $27 million
4. Valkyrie - $21.5 million
5. Yes Man - $16.4 million
6. Seven Pounds - $13.4 million
7. The Tale of Despereaux - $9.4 million
8. The Day The Earth Stood Still - $7.9 million
9. The Spirit - $6.5 million
10. Doubt - $5.7 million
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Button had a big budget ($150m), so it better do well. To date, big winners in December are Four Xmases and Twilight. Twilight had a small budget so the producers are cleaning up. Australia is sucking compared to its big budget.
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/weekend/chart/
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Of the life of Benjamin Button between his twelfth and twenty-first year I intend to say little. Suffice to record that they were years of normal ungrowth.
Anon101, that's always the best if everyone else is sniffling in the theatre rather than just yourself. If a movie can bring out any kind of emotion it can't be all bad.
I'll put M&M on my netflix cue when it comes out on DVD. :)
Wait til tomorrow when the Brangeloonies will start gnashing their teeth on the IMDB boards saying the same thing chica said but not in a nice way. I might be there laughing and semi trolling. Fuck it. I'm going over there now. I'm bored. I'm gonna start a bunch of riot questions on Benjis board and glowing, taunting ones Marley's. TTFN
Charles Manson......When did you get married?? I missed that part in history class.
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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I just saw M&M with my mom. We both cried like big babehs at the end . . . then again, every-fudgin-one in the theater did!!
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It's creamie, not prune!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQbwt-dicpo
Submitted by Charles Manson on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 5:02pm.
And to quote Charles Manson, the other Charles Manson, "You know, a long time ago being crazy meant something. Now everybody's crazy."
Mm, and whoever said Doubt was good, I'm looking forward to seeing that -- Meryl Streep and Phillip Seymour Hoffman!? Also, Milk and Frost/Nixon. I don't know what's going on that so many movies look interesting to me. That almost never happens. Other than Marley & Me, it seems we're quite serious this holiday season. If these movies are any indication.
To be fair Brad has been an established movie star and box office draw for a very long time. He can't act for shit though (caught a bit of Interview with a Vampire last night and both Pitt's and Cruise's performances were hysterical, 12y/o Kirsten Dunst acted them both off the screen) so has never come remotely close to an oscar nom (or did he get nominated for that Fight Club nonsense?). I guess that's where his aspirations now lie (or at least where Angie Jo tells him they're supposed to lie). As for Jen well she isn't even an established film star, she's still trying to make the crossover from tv to film. She doesn't really have the looks to make it as a movie star and I think mainly gets roles cause of the press attention she gets. I've seen a few trailers of her in "He's Just Not That Into You" though and she looks quite good in it. She's more of a good character/supporting/ensemble actress than a lead really.
The audience was probably quieter at the "Benjamin Button" screenings. I'm sure nobody wanted to get shot in the arm by a Brangeloonie.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
The only reason Marley & Me is #1 is because of the dog (the one with four legs).
Poor Brad!
Beaten by a dog -- So sad!
And, that's after being whipped over and over again by Angelina's pussy.
Submitted by Charles Manson on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 5:02pm.
ANGELINA IS A GODDAMN FUCKING UGLY ASS PIECE OF GARBAGE. SHE IS NOT EVEN THAT GOOD SHE IS A SHIT STAINED PIECE OF TOILET PAPER. UGLY BASSED LIPPED PIECE OF SHIT. IF MY WIFE DID WHAT FUCKING BRAD DID SHE WOULD BE FUCKING STARRING DOWN THE BARREL OF A FUCKING SAWED OFF FUCKING SHOT GUN. IF YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING GODDAMN LEAVE SOMEONE AT LEAST TRY TO MUSTARD UP ENOUGH COMMON FUCKING DECENCTLY TO WAIT A YEAR BEFORE YOU START FUCKING GODDAMN FLAUNTING IT. DIGUSTING. BOTH BRAD AND ANGELINA SHOULD BE STOOD UP IN FRONT OF A GODDAMN FIRING SQUAD.
Dont be shy! Say exactly whats on your mind, we're all friends here!
AAAAND Mr. Charlie Manson wraps up my Dlisted hour with another most crucial observation. Out to chase the sun before it sets, doing that waaay too early these days((((HUGS))))
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 4:56pm.
I want to see "Doubt".
meh, on the other movies.
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PSL: I saw Doubt. Meryl Streep is incredible. The rest of the cast also did a tremendous job. It was a little slow, a little stiff, but overall, the actors carried the movie pretty well, and the plot was interesting. A definite must see thanks to Ms. Streep who you can never, ever go wrong with.
"Suicide hotline, please hold"
I thought Benjamin Buttons was funny. There were so many awkward/comical moments in the film that I couldn't take it seriously.
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How can you thank God for a song that the Devil helped you write?
Not surprising. All the rags, if one listens to them, predicted Marley & Me to do better initially at the box office. Probably bc of everything Keane said. But if BB is well nominated and even wins a few Oscars, it should do better in the long run. Aniston and Pitt's professional aspirations seem miles apart. I'm sure all Pitt wants is an Oscar. But then, I think he's always wanted that. Jen should've kept doing movies like The Good Girl and some of her other indie work. Those weren't terrible.
i'll wait for the dvd version of "benjamin" and "marley"...and "the day the earth stood still" only because keanu is in it and seems not to ever age...
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did you sleep with charlie the tuna last night or did you just forget to douche?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrJAgdMLsMI&feature=related
for sure DOUBT..
yes on Cate, Julia, and Tilda.. at least Brad isnt CO$, but close.
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"is the answer up above?
how can i, oh how can i tell them
this is not a puppy love"
- D.O.
ANGELINA IS A GODDAMN FUCKING UGLY ASS PIECE OF GARBAGE. SHE IS NOT EVEN THAT GOOD SHE IS A SHIT STAINED PIECE OF TOILET PAPER. UGLY BASSED LIPPED PIECE OF SHIT. IF MY WIFE DID WHAT FUCKING BRAD DID SHE WOULD BE FUCKING STARRING DOWN THE BARREL OF A FUCKING SAWED OFF FUCKING SHOT GUN. IF YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING GODDAMN LEAVE SOMEONE AT LEAST TRY TO MUSTARD UP ENOUGH COMMON FUCKING DECENCTLY TO WAIT A YEAR BEFORE YOU START FUCKING GODDAMN FLAUNTING IT. DIGUSTING. BOTH BRAD AND ANGELINA SHOULD BE STOOD UP IN FRONT OF A GODDAMN FIRING SQUAD.
Candy and Sockius Monkeyus, ta for the welcome! :)
Marley and Me was a great movie I left the house and seen it today !! LOVED IT !
I wanta see ' The Spirit ' and ' Valkyrie ' cos Tom Cr......erm, IZZARDS IN IT!!!!!
Submitted by El Bastardo on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 4:49pm.
Hi! I'm new. Just thought i'd tell you all i read your comments everyday and they're very funny! Hope you welcome me! :)
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Uh...cake or death? Uh..cake, please! Well, we're outta cake!!
Nice to see you, El Bastardo!!
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
I for one am glad. I will be renting Marley. Some Brangeloonies are pulling their hair out at the roots right now. I sure do hope no one gets shot again over this.
If you check out their IMDB pages you could tell which one was gonna do better Marley's rating has been up by 164% while Benji has been down 36% Plus all you see in the threads is how much people cried at the end of Marley.
Welcome El Bastardo :)
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
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Damn, this makes me happy!
That Benjamin Button poster has to be one of the most disturbing pics I've ever seen! That thing the lady's holding kinda looks like a freshly carved Pinocchio baby!
I want to see "Doubt".
meh, on the other movies.
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See what you give is just what you get, I know it hasn't hit you yet;
Now I don't mean to get you upset, but every cause has an effect
- Lauryn Hill "Superstar"
"3. The Curious Case Of Old Baby"
ROTFL! :))
I don't go to da movies during the cold season. Uh-uh. No way.
I personally can not stand to watch any movie where the animal dies. I am a total wimp about that.
Went to see the Button movie. Husband loved it, I hated it. Three LONG BORING hours. Just because the guy was old, why did he have to talk like Forrest Gump? Too much death, too sad.
I guess I should be lucky tho, only paid 6 bucks for the afternoon show. Two bottle waters, 7 bucks? WTF?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
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Dlisted's a hellava drug.
We're on "Team Against Media-Whoring Husband-Stealing Baby Collecting Tatted-up Freakshows." - Stoney, 12/2008
MK - This is a quote from the Box Office Prophets site:
"Marley and Me was recognized by consumers as being a feature length film version of everyone's favorite viral video, Shiba Inu Puppy Cam."
that Button movie's poster is fucking ghastly!
i'll probably see it though... i too love Tilda.
@ Keane: good point, and I hope to keep a body banging like Aniston's when I hit 40. AND stay looking about 33 max like her.
But I AM surprised that Brad could barely beat off TommyGirl's Nazi mess.
It is kind of poetic justice. Both these guys are leftovers of the 80s/90s cookie-cutter tame male sex symbol barf machine.
Hi! I'm new. Just thought i'd tell you all i read your comments everyday and they're very funny! Hope you welcome me! :)
Yeah me thinks the recent Brange controversy has perhaps not done Brad's latest offering too many favours. That being said, Aniston's number is about a dog and its xmas so most of those tickets were probably sold to the under 12's. Won't see either of them and only care so much as I hope it makes Angelina weep bitter tears of fury at not being on top. Just hate that bitch in every way.
Who didn't see this box office coming a mile away? Marley & Me is tailor-made for the holidays, and though boring as oatmeal, Jennifer Aniston is not as tabloid-hammered as her ex.
AHHHHH!
Honestly though, she really beats them both at just about everything.
Not surprised.
Droppin Kids Off in the Pool
*Nervously chews toenails*
That makes sense - Aniston beating Pitt - but I must agree with MK that Valkyrie making that much does not make sense at all.
Looks like the dog in the "Marley and Me" poster saw the Chinese writing and is pulling Aniston so they can get out of there as fast as possible.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Oh, fuck you double post...
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We worship a dancing peanut, for corn’s sake!
funny funny
HAHAHA I guess they really aren't so "powerful" after all. I wonder what kinds of krazy-ass excuses brangetards are gonna come up with now.
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We worship a dancing peanut, for corn’s sake!