Just Your Regular Wino Story
Here's a lovely story for a Sunday evening starring the Crackie of Camden as told by some scum bucket who used to lick on her crackpot. You may remember this Alex Haines dude? He used to be Wino's personal assistant and they got a little too personal while he was working for her ass and Blaaake was in the chokey. Alex has now done what most people involved with Wino do: he sold his story to The News of the World.
Obviously sucking on Wino's crack pipe clit has made Alex foggy in the brains, because why else would he admit to sexing up Wino? That's some shit you take with you to the grave.
Alex's revelations about Wino won't make your eyes bulge in shock, but it is a good after church read. I've made it a little easier for you by summing it up with extra exclamation points, of course. Because exclamation points make everything escandalo. ESCANDALO!!!!!
Wino dined on a hearty breakfast of toast and CRACK every morning!Wino spent £3,500 a week on drugs and made crack pipes out of old drink bottles! She once used a screwdriver to scrape out the residue from her crack pipe. “When Amy ran out of the drug it she would cut the bottle in half and sit there on the floor completely wired, scraping the inside to get the residue with a screwdriver." The bitch is a thrifty one! She should get her own show on HGTV.
Wino is a bulimic who lives off of McDonald's and Crunchie bars! Alex says she used his toothbrush to barf. Ew. I bet you that nasty bitch Alex hasn't bought a new toothbrush either!
Wino was like Alex's own personal porn star. She was addicted to ze sexy times and wanted it four or five times a day. "When I stayed at hers I would be asleep downstairs and there would be this little girl on the bed crawling towards me waking me up for sex.” Okay, Alex is creepy.
Wino is a cutter!!! "Cutting herself was her favorite pastime.” I'm pretty sure smoking crack is her favorite pastime, but maybe cutting is a close second.
Wino is afraid she might join the 27 club of rock stars who died at the age of 27.
Wino wanted to prove to every one that she was the cokiest cokehead who ever coked, so she once snorted a line that was 20 centimeters long!!!
Wino's favorite drink is super classy. She loves vodka with supermarket tropical juice!!
Did you get all that? Wino is a bulimic, a crackhead, a cutter, a nympho and she's also the Martha Stewart of the crackworld. Basically, she's like every after-school special rolled into one hot sexy package (see above picture). Also, Alex needs to try much harder.
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Honestly though...this is one of the cleanest pics of Amy We., so rather than us thrass a person when they ar down..can we take a moment to let Amy recover, prove us all wrong and THEN we tear her down? Right? Isn't that the way this shit goes? Kick 'em when they're up ect. ad nauseum? Hello? Spock?
Submitted by Triscuit on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 1:27am.
why wait?
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
She is so attractive and I have seen her on Meetwealthy. com,I also met many Sexy, Curvy, Classy Women, open minded rich couples, hot rich guys, nice wealthy admirers, even some celebs.
At least you still have your quarter.
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heh heh yeah, it's not so much a coin slot as a bike rack!
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Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 1:24am.
At least you still have your quarter.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
I wish I could brag on sand-dollar tits. Leave the tea to me!
Thanks TV. I'll never eat, or see again.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 1:11am.
Of course, her snatch has had a lot of shoddy construction work and is full of violations and spackle.
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If by shoddy construction work you mean cock, and if by violations and spackle you mean diseases and infections, then yes.. I believe that's right.
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Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 1:19am.
Sorry, you'll need dinner plates.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Of course, her snatch has had a lot of shoddy construction work and is full of violations and spackle.
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and you just can't beat the acoustics!
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Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock
TV -nope. Out of quarters. Only got silver dollars left to cover the area in which I'd be viewing Shitters areolas.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:13am.
Breaking News: Paris Hilton just touched down in Melbourne, Australia.
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Further news!
Melbourne recoiled and paris fell into the ocean.
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Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 1:12am.
I'd rather see Britney Naked.
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got a quarter?
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Richard Strangdog on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 1:10am.
Cheers to that RS! *drinky clinks*
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I'd rather see Britney Naked.
*barfs*
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 1:07am.
Of course, her snatch has had a lot of shoddy construction work and is full of violations and spackle.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Mrs. Winehouse-Fielder-Civil needs some therapy, hugs and people that don't give a fluck about her fame or money. In others words, Winehouse should keep her ass outta London.
Happy Winterfresh and New Year's, my friends. Let's hope for a cleaner, fresher and saner Winehouse in 2009!
God Bless ya'll, every last one of you.
~~~~Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.~~~~
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:59am.
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:43am.
She would never steal the opera house, it has fewer visitors annually than her snatch.
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Eck! Hehehe. And it's open for business 24/7. Bitch deserves a young entrepreneurs award for catering to the masses.
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Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 1:04am.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Waiting for you........♥
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"dick and chips: a perfect combination" MK
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCWmb8yl9z0
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Submitted by Triscuit on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 1:02am.
How you doin'?
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:29am.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
How ya doin',seXXXy?
♥
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"dick and chips: a perfect combination" MK
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCWmb8yl9z0
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:43am.
She would never steal the opera house, it has fewer visitors annually than her snatch.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Didn't read any other posts...but anyone else feel those bottoms WERE white at some point?
**GAG**
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"dick and chips: a perfect combination" MK
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCWmb8yl9z0
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
When Paris travels, how come she never stays in Hiltons?
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Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures. (SJ)
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:36am.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:13am.
Breaking News: Paris Hilton just touched down in Melbourne, Australia. She's here for new years. Mytwocents - go hunt her down and get some free pics for MK.
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Make sure she doesn't snatch a koala. Or put a platypus up there.
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Or the Opera House. I'm guessing it's a pretty overstretched snatch.
Euck, I just made mahself a bit sick.
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Quantum of Solace: The 007 musical....
Pssht...you know that shit's coming to Broadway....
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Tigerlilly, if Daniel pulls a full monty ala Harry Poetter then I will support it, wholeheartedly. And will be also be arrested opening night for rushing the stage.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Interviewer: You're playing one of the most famous characters in movie history. How come we don't see you in all the tabloids?
Daniel Craig: Because I don't want to be in them.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:30am.
Simon Van Kempen - the most OBNOXIOUS AUSTRALIAN POONCE EVER, Met his Mrs. (Alex McCord) on some Millionaire meets slut website.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8-SScr7u2Y
..
Tool. What kind of ho's do men think they'll meet on those sites? I'll bet she's a real keeper. Gah. He deserves what he gets.
Too boring to watch the whole thing... but I liked the hot slut that did the voiceover.
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Submitted by Sandbitch on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:13am.
Breaking News: Paris Hilton just touched down in Melbourne, Australia. She's here for new years. Mytwocents - go hunt her down and get some free pics for MK.
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Make sure she doesn't snatch a koala. Or put a platypus up there.
***********************************************
I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:29am.
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:25am.
Thousands die from drug abuse. She should be one.
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... of the ones that recover, clean up their lives and live long enough to record more beautiful music. Yes TV. I agree with you wholeheartedly.
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Simon Van Kempen - the most OBNOXIOUS AUSTRALIAN POONCE EVER, Met his Mrs. (Alex McCord) on some Millionaire meets slut website.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8-SScr7u2Y
Submitted by Sandbitch on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:13am.
Breaking News: Paris Hilton just touched down in Melbourne, Australia. She's here for new years. Mytwocents - go hunt her down and get some free pics for MK.
.......
Crap! Lock up your horny, standards impaired boy-teens!!!! Last time she was in Aus she defiled one of our Aussie idol contestants. Hor.
I'll keep mah ears open but no promises on the pics.
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Submitted by MyTwoCents on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:25am.
Thousands die from drug abuse. She should be one.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
I miss the Amy of old. The one before the drugs, tatts and Blake. She has great talent and to see it all shit away is very sad.
÷ö÷ö÷ö÷ö÷ö÷ö÷ö÷ö÷ö÷ö÷ö÷ö÷ö÷ö÷ö÷ö÷ö÷ö÷ö÷ö÷ö÷ö÷ö÷ö
As a matter of fact, I do have a leg to stand on.
Looking at pictures of Wino on the beach makes me neer want to go to the beach ever again. Seriously who knows what this crackhead has going on, she clearly never bathes and is probably crusty and scabby. Ugh.
On a side note at least she's putting some weight on.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:04am.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 11:57pm.
I think she should stop struggling.
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*shock face* TV!! How could you say that! And BTW, that was dancing, not struggling.
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Submitted by Sandbitch on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:13am.
She's also there to introduce a non-indigenous species of crab into the local ecosystem. And y'all thought your snakes and spiders and platypi were dangerous.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:03am.
Not tooo long, after you get past Geelong it's all downhill. Soooo pretty. Sorry to hear about the heat :/ I'd bloody love it though! It hasn't really been too hot here...yet. AND it's been raining here heaps til recently but, I don't know, maybe not enough in catchment areas?!
As for there being lots of aussies on da dl yesterday... I has obviously been missing soooo much! I see the trolls have been out in force but there are a few that have seemed to escape the bannings?!? Most curious... I has mah suspicions about one but I'll wait and watch.
And GODDAMN IT!!! I don't has the cable!! I've almost stopped watching telly at all cos there is never anything good on this time of year. I could seriously get addicted to that Real Housewives shit, too. Aussie hubby sounds like a real catch... *embarrased on behalf of all Aussie's*
OT: Alex Haines needs a kick in the nuts!!!
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Breaking News: Paris Hilton just touched down in Melbourne, Australia. She's here for new years. Mytwocents - go hunt her down and get some free pics for MK.
mmm.. crunchies.
Submitted by breaktheleash on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 11:36pm.
I like your avie, reminds me of my dog, Kevin (he's a pomeranian).
Submitted by Manimal5 on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 11:57pm.
I think she should stop struggling.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 11:37pm.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 11:33pm.
SQUEEE!!!! HO!!!!
Happy Xmas/Holly's to you too hor!
I has bin to da beach!! Great Ocean Road way. Stayed wif friends, got wery pished. Good times :)
How you? Still got a roof?
==Da beach? Long drive was it? Glad you had a good pished xmarse anywayz. Yep I still haz a roof but fuck me I'm withering in the heat in Qld. I've spent most of the day hosing the deck (water restrictions? What water restrictions). How can there be a drought in Brisbane with so much rain...? Political bullshit me thinks.
There were lots of aussies on dlisted yesterday... I felt as common as muck. Almost wanted to keep my location under cover! There was a bit of a shitfight - someone accused someone of being an aussie fake... beats me huh?
Have you been watching Real Housewives of NYC on cable? One of the bitches (Alex McCord) is married to an "aussie" and he is THE MOST OBNOXIOUS australian I have ever encountered. Truly fucking obnoxious. Personality disorder me thinks. I'm embarrassed.
Wino is afraid she might join the 27 club of rock stars who died at the age of 27.
Scary that she has to struggle to make it that far. She does seem to be looking a little heavier now, unless it's just alcohol bloat.
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OH PRAISE YOU LORD. FORGIVE ME OF MY SIMPLE SINS. I LOVE YOU LORD. I LOVE YOU JESUS. PLEASE LET ME LOVE YOU IN PEACE AND NOT HAVE ANYONE MAKE FUN OF ME FOR IT.
She just introduced a non-indigenous species of crab into the local ecosystem. Her crabs come pre-cracked.
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nice!
and the butter for dipping....?
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Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock
I have seen that show about Micheal Vicks dogs too. There aren't words to describe him. He's a piece of shit. I hope the NFL never lets him back in. That show broke my heart.
Submitted by Provolone on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 11:40pm.
THE GREATEST JEW SINCE JESUS
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JESUS WUZ NOT A JEW HE WUZ CHRISTIAN! PRAISE THE LORD!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Manimal5 on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 11:37pm.
The crab population on that beach has doubled since Wino's been there.
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She just introduced a non-indigenous species of crab into the local ecosystem. Her crabs come pre-cracked.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
THE GREATEST JEW SINCE JESUS
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"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
Submitted by Sandbitch on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 11:33pm.
SQUEEE!!!! HO!!!!
Happy Xmas/Holly's to you too hor!
I has bin to da beach!! Great Ocean Road way. Stayed wif friends, got wery pished. Good times :)
How you? Still got a roof?
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