Just Your Regular Wino Story
Here's a lovely story for a Sunday evening starring the Crackie of Camden as told by some scum bucket who used to lick on her crackpot. You may remember this Alex Haines dude? He used to be Wino's personal assistant and they got a little too personal while he was working for her ass and Blaaake was in the chokey. Alex has now done what most people involved with Wino do: he sold his story to The News of the World.
Obviously sucking on Wino's crack pipe clit has made Alex foggy in the brains, because why else would he admit to sexing up Wino? That's some shit you take with you to the grave.
Alex's revelations about Wino won't make your eyes bulge in shock, but it is a good after church read. I've made it a little easier for you by summing it up with extra exclamation points, of course. Because exclamation points make everything escandalo. ESCANDALO!!!!!
Wino dined on a hearty breakfast of toast and CRACK every morning!Wino spent £3,500 a week on drugs and made crack pipes out of old drink bottles! She once used a screwdriver to scrape out the residue from her crack pipe. “When Amy ran out of the drug it she would cut the bottle in half and sit there on the floor completely wired, scraping the inside to get the residue with a screwdriver." The bitch is a thrifty one! She should get her own show on HGTV.
Wino is a bulimic who lives off of McDonald's and Crunchie bars! Alex says she used his toothbrush to barf. Ew. I bet you that nasty bitch Alex hasn't bought a new toothbrush either!
Wino was like Alex's own personal porn star. She was addicted to ze sexy times and wanted it four or five times a day. "When I stayed at hers I would be asleep downstairs and there would be this little girl on the bed crawling towards me waking me up for sex.” Okay, Alex is creepy.
Wino is a cutter!!! "Cutting herself was her favorite pastime.” I'm pretty sure smoking crack is her favorite pastime, but maybe cutting is a close second.
Wino is afraid she might join the 27 club of rock stars who died at the age of 27.
Wino wanted to prove to every one that she was the cokiest cokehead who ever coked, so she once snorted a line that was 20 centimeters long!!!
Wino's favorite drink is super classy. She loves vodka with supermarket tropical juice!!
Did you get all that? Wino is a bulimic, a crackhead, a cutter, a nympho and she's also the Martha Stewart of the crackworld. Basically, she's like every after-school special rolled into one hot sexy package (see above picture). Also, Alex needs to try much harder.
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Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 8:54pm.
Submitted by Deb on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 8:50pm.
Loves it, Socky! But I think you mean Chico.
We're having a Chico's kind of day. ;-)
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I swear, some people should not be allowed to leave the comfort of their own padded room.-MK
She leaves the hospital bracelets on because it make readmission faster.
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Of the life of Benjamin Button between his twelfth and twenty-first year I intend to say little. Suffice to record that they were years of normal ungrowth.
Submitted by . on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 9:14pm.
I fucking HATE what this society has done to girls growing up thinking they have to be skeletons with skin. It fucking angers me beyong belief!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
rant off
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Agreed 110%! What happened to being healthy and looking healthy... and when did a size 9 become a plus size???
Anne Nicole when she first was in Playboy had a beautiful healthy figure...... as did Marilyn Monroe and many others. By today's standards they would be considered fat.
Teen girls today fail to realize that those size 00 models are airbrushed down to look skinnier. And while we are at it, why is there a 14 y/o girl trying to sell me my clothing and moisturizer? What is wrong with having an actual woman modeling items for real women??!!
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Submitted by jiggywiddit on Tue, 11/25/2008 - 10:23pm.
SNOOGLE for HOT SLUT OF THE YEAR!!!
xo
have u ever heard of +++++++++++++++++sugarbabymeet.com?++++++++++++++++ someone just now told me this site.
Haahaaahaaahaaahaaaahaaaahaaaaa. Is this a cross between Blue Lagoon, Caveman the movie and Trainspotting? Perfect casting.
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She looks healthy here. Good for her.
Submitted by Laurenlovesnick on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 9:17pm.
lol it does look like Sadie all growed up!
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Bye! Good
Submitted by breaktheleash on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 9:15pm.
@Sugaroo: My hubby just peeked over to check out the Amy pic - he's speculating on the bush. Thinks she should go retro, to match the hair. Filthy fucker. I love him, tho!
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I can top that. I pretended to scream and yelled to my husband that a pic of his mother was on DListed and he came running like "WHAFUCK?".
I don't think I'll be able to sit down for a week now! Hee.
Wino spent £3,500 a week on drugs and made crack pipes out of old drink bottles!
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Pshaw! I once made a bong out of a fish tank1
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Sadie Sandler is that you?
20 years later...
@Sugaroo: My hubby just peeked over to check out the Amy pic - he's speculating on the bush. Thinks she should go retro, to match the hair. Filthy fucker. I love him, tho!
Submitted by Snoogle on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 9:08pm.
Its coke bloat.
Coke doesn't bloat you. You may be doing something else along with the coke that blows you up, but not coke. Way back in the day, I knew al lot of cokeheads. Hell I was one. Believe me.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Her hair looks like my pubes.
Hate to annoy ya'll with stats but...
Women who starve all their lives and then eat normal put on the pounds FAST. The body is in survival mode with all that starvation so the minute you even eat a fuckin' cracker your body says, "AH HA!"
The truth is, you're going to gain a good ten poinds once you stop starving. It's your body's way of defending your internal organs and YOU.
Life is short. I starved myself cruelly from age 15 years up until 19 years... I'm probably one of the longest survivors of anorexia/bulimia. The hardest thing for food denialist/addiction is that you NEED food. You have to survive on it. Drugs? No. Booze? No. Food? Yes. I've known and counseled some girls who feel like even looking at food will make them gain weight.
I fucking HATE what this society has done to girls growing up thinking they have to be skeletons with skin. It fucking angers me beyong belief!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
rant off
Submitted by Sheeps on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 9:07pm.
Didn't Harpo have a blond 'fro? Chico had dark hair but no 'fro....
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I give up..........my face hurts! lol
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
@dot
She does look a lot healthier than she had looked. I hope she keeps it up.
I am about UP to HERE with all these celebs frolicking in St. Lucia or St. Barts! I'm a jelus h8er! I want some warm sun!
Sorry for the whining. I'll stop in late April! ;)
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Crackie looks alittle plump
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Bye! Good
Please give thanks now that she kept her bottoms on.
I'd like to bet those grimy bikini bottoms used to be white once.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 9:06pm.
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*hanging little sock monkey head in shame*
Sowwy......
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Submitted by . on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 9:05pm.
Yaknow what? She looks plumped out a bit? Not a skeleton! Good for her! :)
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Its coke bloat.
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Submitted by jiggywiddit on Tue, 11/25/2008 - 10:23pm.
SNOOGLE for HOT SLUT OF THE YEAR!!!
xo
Didn't Harpo have a blond 'fro? Chico had dark hair but no 'fro....
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Of the life of Benjamin Button between his twelfth and twenty-first year I intend to say little. Suffice to record that they were years of normal ungrowth.
OK, all you jelluis h8ters, keep it up, just keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep it up.
Amy is a cockroach, she will outlive us all.
From my mouth to God's ear!
TEAM WINO!!!!
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Jimmy Mack, when are you coming back?
Yaknow what? She looks plumped out a bit? Not a skeleton! Good for her! :)
Submitted by PSL Sun, 12/28/2008 - 8:59pm.
Socky, I was just saying.....you didn't have to go and bitchslap yourself!
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Ha! Ha! Just kidding.
ON T: Chico has boobs.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Submitted by Mr. President on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 9:00pm.
I haven't been this shocked by an exclusive since Clay Aiken came out of the closet.
I haven't been this shocked since I flipped the light switch and the lights went off.
Adam Sandler is one hottie! Moobs even! -And, aww...he's even protecting them from the paps. *gush*
Submitted by Sheeps on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 8:57pm.
Submitted by Charles Manson on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 8:55pm.
Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison...
Edit: Brian Jones
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Wino was like Alex's own personal porn star. She was addicted to ze sexy times and wanted it four or five times a day.
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No fucking kidding. That was SO obvious!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
I haven't been this shocked by an exclusive since Clay Aiken came out of the closet.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
HWAT!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Look, Hutch! Starsky has moobs!
If she can cut a bottle in half with a screwdriver, she did deserve those Grammies.
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 8:54pm.
Don't slap yourself! You were close and I got ya! Plus, that was 70+ years ago! Yeah, poor Amy has had the alcoholic body thing going on for over a year: skinny all over, yet a bloated belly.
I hope she gets better. She's self-destructive, but so talented and I believe a genuine person.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Socky, I was just saying.....you didn't have to go and bitchslap yourself!
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See what you give is just what you get, I know it hasn't hit you yet;
Now I don't mean to get you upset, but every cause has an effect
- Lauryn Hill "Superstar"
Is it wrong of me that I want her to drop her hands?
Damn. I really am a perv.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 8:52pm.
Socky, Amy has always had boobs.....
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You're right! *double bitchslaps self*
ON T: Amy has boobs.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Submitted by Charles Manson on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 8:55pm.
Hendrix, Joplin...
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Of the life of Benjamin Button between his twelfth and twenty-first year I intend to say little. Suffice to record that they were years of normal ungrowth.
Ok, forget all that other shit. Wtf is a crunchie bar???
WHO THE HELL DIED AT 27. JOHN BOHNAM. MORRISON. I THINK FUCKING BOHNAM WAS 32 WHEN ALCOHOL WITHDRAWAL BIT HIS FUCKING ASS OFF AND HE STARTED HIS GODDAMN FUCKING DIRT NAP.
Submitted by Deb on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 8:50pm.
Loves it, Socky! But I think you mean Chico.
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Wrong Marx brothers, huh? *bitchslaps self* lol
ON T: Curious why she covers the boobs when the rest of her is even more horrific!
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Socky, Amy has always had boobs.....
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See what you give is just what you get, I know it hasn't hit you yet;
Now I don't mean to get you upset, but every cause has an effect
- Lauryn Hill "Superstar"
Paul Michael Glaser, is that you?
When did you get the boob implants?
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I swear, some people should not be allowed to leave the comfort of their own padded room.-MK
Submitted by breaktheleash on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 8:45pm.
I was thinking the same thing. Can't anybody around her find some scissors and cut the damn things off?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Alex has managed to make a tawdry sex-and-drugs-with-famous-person story not interesting.
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Of the life of Benjamin Button between his twelfth and twenty-first year I intend to say little. Suffice to record that they were years of normal ungrowth.
Submitted by mike on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 8:49pm.
Wow, what a bunch of non-revelations?
And the guy's bitching that she wanted sex too often? Something in the milk ain't clean!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ True True. Ive never heard a dude complain of too much sex.
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I'm not sure I want all my neuroses cleared up.
Patty Duke
*smokes crack*
*eats toast*
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 8:44pm.
Harpo grew boobs?
Loves it, Socky! But I think you mean Chico.
For the kids:
http://history.waiting-forthe-sun.net/Graphics/FebruaryGraphics/chico.jp...
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Wow, what a bunch of non-revelations.
And the guy's bitching that she wanted sex too often? Something in the milk ain't clean!
When she isn't rocking the hive... she looks like her mother.
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I'm not sure I want all my neuroses cleared up.
Patty Duke