JLo & Skeletor's Divorce Duet
Now this is what I expect from a JLo divorce announcement! Some fucking drama. Gatecrasher says that on this coming Valentine Day's, JLo will join Skeletor onstage at Madison Square Garden in NYC where they will sing a farewell duet together and announce their divorce to everyone. That's if anyone is still in the audience. When JLo takes the stage to sing live, I'm sure thousands of bitches will either run for the door or find a sharp object to stab at their ears with.
JLo and Skeletor announced she was knocked up with the Dragon Tales Twins at one of their concerts in Miami, so she feels this is a fitting way to announce that their marriage is worm meat. A friend of JLo's said, “Jennifer is planning on joining Marc onstage for a surprise duet. Things haven’t been right for a while now, and they thought it would be a bittersweet." Um. It will be all bitter and no sweet since JLo is planning to sing live. The woman has a voice like a chihuahua after debarking surgery.
I know Wanda Sykes doesn't want me to call things "gay", but this shit is gayer than gay! JLo and Skeletor announcing their divorce through song?! I believe it, because this is definitely something gay ass JLo would do. Bitch thinks she's in some goddamn Rodgers & Hammerstein musical.
Not only will JLo sing a farewell song to Skeletor, but she will also be singing a farewell song to relevance.
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Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:46pm.
Any chance of their farewell song being a cover of Fat Bottomed Girls?
HAHA! Yeah, she should do a Queen cover and let that stick up her ass out for some air.
I'd be more apt to believe it if they could manufacture an identified source! those fuckers need to get up on the Brit way of reporting by paying someone for their fake ass reports...
xo
Rants, Thoughts & Merde
http://rantsthoughtsmerde.blogspot.com/
Sumbody her haz a reel purty mouth.....
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Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 11:07pm.
SmOOches IG! Happy New Year to you too! All the best!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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James H.,
OUCH. A reanactment of "Deliverance"? Oh HELL NO!
Celebrating festivus and the airing of grievances is one thing...but "squealing like a pig"? That's just wrongggggggggg.
You poor thing!
I wonder if J-Lo expects butt-worship 24/7? "Does my ass look big enough in these jeans?"
Submitted by James Haven on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 11:03pm.
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Hahahaha... hi James! Happy New Year!! ♥♥
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyKvD-4IxOY
Submitted by . on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:27pm.
Do you have any family besides the Pitts to hang with? Bless your heart for putting up with those megattention whores.
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Yes dot. James Haven has some cousins he could have spent Christmas with and Daddy Voight wanted to share a goose with James Haven, but truth be told James Haven doesn't eat goose, and didn't want to listen to Daddy whine about Angie all night. And then there's the reanactment of "Deliverance" that Daddy makes us do. Without Angie, it's just no fun.
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by James Haven on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:57pm.
Hey, James! rightbackatcha!
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:46pm.
TV!!! hope you had a nice holiday.
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Carrottop,
Why do those that love you, hurt you those most'est?? *baby toes*
My nephew still has little baby toes!!!!!
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Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:40pm.
i have just now realized i need to spend more time with Clarisse... gotta go, got an appointment with hand loti... er.. a frie... er.. ah fuck it! i gotta go!... catch ya all later!
OT: for the love of Jeebus!... nope
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
Any chance of their farewell song being a cover of Fat Bottomed Girls?
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:40pm.
Carrot!
You is sooo wrong!! Baby toes! baby toes!!!!
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Maybe he does have baby toes. Some 18 year old harlots dig that sort of thing.
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Own it like a strap-on.
Carrot!
You is sooo wrong!! Baby toes! baby toes!!!!
ESE,
*settles down on knees in front, between your knees*
Try this...
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Submitted by James Haven on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:38pm.
**James Haven grabs LCT dips her and plants a big smooch on her sweet lips!**
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Sweet sassy molassy James! Let's make bebes!
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Own it like a strap-on.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:34pm.
**James Haven grabs LCT dips her and plants a big smooch on her sweet lips!**
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:21pm.
Carrottop,
Why does you hate me??? He is a lil munchin!!! With little munchie toes!!!
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And huge balllllllllllss.
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Own it like a strap-on.
Submitted by James Haven on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:19pm.
LCT! SmOOches sweet girl! How are you?
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Great now that you're here! I missed you Jamesy!
Can I have a smooch on New Years?
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Own it like a strap-on.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:22pm.
i can go with that description! except, there's one thing that's missing... i've got my eye on the throne.. Santa, er... Satan has nothin' on me... i think he's got a lot to learn on how to run an underworld!!LOL!
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
Submitted by James Haven on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:22pm.
To be honest dot, James Haven does keep a journal. How else is he going to write a tell all and give you bitches inside info?
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I knew it! You, kind one are BRILLIANT! It's really fun to see you. I hope you had a wonderful Xmassy time and hopefully a really love-filled, positive New Year. Do you have any family besides the Pitts to hang with? Bless your heart for putting up with those megattention whores.
Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:21pm.
"Have I told you lately that I lust you"
it's a slight correction, but i think it works... *grabbin' a shot*... *unbuttening pants*... woo-hoo!!
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
Oh, James Haven, that's a terrible tale, & I'm so sorry you experienced that pain! But just think of the heartache Dids saved you -- you never have to experience going from using your own private plane to flying *shudder* commercial. It's all about the silver linings, love.
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:17pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:14pm.
you got a han... shit.. you know what a handbasket is?!... 'cause we're goin' straight to hell!
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Yeah, but look at it this way, name one whore you know and like who ain't goin' to hell? Yeah, I figure hell is gonna be like a big ass highschool reunion without the teachers' pets and shit!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by . on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:01pm.
To be honest dot, James Haven does keep a journal. How else is he going to write a tell all and give you bitches inside info?
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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ESE,
I am not talking love....
*pulls shirt down lower*
Carrottop,
Why does you hate me??? He is a lil munchin!!! With little munchie toes!!!
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Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:02pm.
LCT! SmOOches sweet girl! How are you?
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 9:58pm.
So true DQ. James Haven DID indeed forget Diddy. Well Diddy and James Haven haven't always seen eye to eye. James Haven wanted to come out with his very own line of clothes called "James Haven", and told his thoughts to Dids (as James Haven USED to call him). Faster then you can say John Travolta wears Spanx! Diddy came out with HIS line of clothes. So why couldn't James Haven still have his line, you ask? Because James Haven was told that there was already an Urban line that had just come out and there was no room for him!
James Haven was crushed! His lifelong dream of bringing a piece of James Haven to the masses was over and all because James Haven shared an appletini and an avacado eggroll with Diddy.
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:14pm.
you got a han... shit.. you know what a handbasket is?!... 'cause we're goin' straight to hell!
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:09pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:02pm.
now that i think about it, you're probobly correct... that thing can't not blush lifting anvils like an ole timey weight lifter!... oh yeah, get the mental picture!.. heehee!
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AHAHAHAHA! Chyna's jacked up dick/pussy spots Vadge's vadge throwin' the ol' medicine ball around....We're two sick fucks, ain't we?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:02pm.
now that i think about it, you're probobly correct... that thing can't not blush lifting anvils like an ole timey weight lifter!... oh yeah, get the mental picture!.. heehee!
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:04pm.
Carrottop!!
NO!!! I am still getting over the leg hair!!!!! U iz so mean to your pal!!!
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Puuuuuuuuuuubes. He probably whacks it to Eva Longoria.
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Own it like a strap-on.
Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:01pm.
"Have I told you lately that I love you.
Have I told you there's no one else above you.
Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness.
Ease my troubles, that's what you do."
OT: well at least they didn't have chil... er.. umm.. at least they don't RAISE children
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
Carrottop!!
NO!!! I am still getting over the leg hair!!!!! U iz so mean to your pal!!!
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James! Come here you big sexy monster!
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Own it like a strap-on.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 9:54pm.
Submitted by James Haven on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 9:51pm.
oh come on, JH!!... nothing could make Madonna's vadge blush.. that would mean there's actually blood in those veins!
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I dunno...if she rubbed it up against Shitney's Horny Baked Ham Wallet while on tour, her roided up scorpian snatch could blush red...with scabies scabs and blisters...just sayin.....Madonna's junk could blush...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
ESE,
*pulls shirt down to show cleavage*
Thread? Um, this one?
*pulls thread*
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James Haven, you must have these stories pre-written for us! LMAO! Loves it! Fetus Head!!!! :))
James Haven, you forgot Diddy. What was your take on that bound-for-disaster relationship?
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
Submitted by James Haven on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 9:51pm.
oh come on, JH!!... nothing could make Madonna's vadge blush.. that would mean there's actually blood in those veins!
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 9:47pm.
*sweating profusely*... i'm drinkin'!!... it don't get better than this!!
OT: remind me... which thread is this?
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
James Haven forget to tell the story of Skeletor & Jenny! Sorry Bitches! It's just that there is so much to tell and so little time!
Jenny arrived for a makeover and James Haven could tell she had been crying. James Haven knows a thing or two about puffy eyes since he is in the beauty business. "What's wrong Jenny?" James Haven asked.
"Oh James Haven, it's Marc Anthony, I just know there is another woman in his life", "I found a pair of Victoria's Secret undies in his luggage". She said she knew they weren't hers, because her "ass is too big for VS" so they "must be another womans!"
"Oh, that's nothing, Jenny. James Haven wears, er knows a guy who wear them to keep in touch with his feminine side. Marc Anthony might like the way they feel. They are very soft you know."
"NO JAMES HAVEN! there is more. The other night while in bed, Marc said: Stop bogarting the blanket, Ramona" Ramona?! who the hell is Ramona?"
James Haven didn't have the heart to tell Jenny that "Ramona" was a dancer on Marc's tour. "Ramona" used to be "Raymondo" but that's another story!
Scuttlebutt on the street is that Marc and "Ramona" have been carrying on an affair so torrid that it would make Madonna's vadge blush. They have sex anywhere and anytime! A source close to James Haven claims that their eyes have been permanently damaged, after seeing Marc's boney butt, when the men's room door at Taco Bell was opened.
Jenny said that she is not going to sing a farewell tune to Marc. She is going to make him pay for the embarrassment he has caused! She admitted that she only married him to get back at Ben Affleck. Ben broke her heart when he left her for Fetus head! Poor Jenny has no luck with men. The first guy, the bald guy, Ben, and now Marc? James Haven told her to get hold of herself and stop going with men who are bland and don't shower! She needs someone like James Haven!
"Oh James Haven, be real. I could never date a man who lives with his sister!" What the?!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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*does girly foot dance*
Hey...let me buy the next one. How you doin'? Oy, um, HI!
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Submitted by . on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 9:40pm.
That he is dot, that he is! He's been sulking and brooding ever since he got the reviews on his movie. He can't get over the fact that Jen beat him. That is pretty bad since her movie stunk worse then Joel Madden on a hot summers day!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 9:41pm.
well, uh... umm... *blushes*.. *straightens collar*... hiya, dahlin!!
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 9:39pm.
DQ!! SmOOches! Yes James Haven is here! Hope you have a great New Year filled with lots of love!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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*ESE??? puts on lipstick, sprays perfume*
Uh, ESE, um, you come here often?
Let me buy you a drink.
*wets lips*
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Submitted by James Haven on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 9:39pm.
Yes it is hard to live with Brad he is not the guy you see on the big screen. He is moody, sullen, a nose picker, and has greasy skin
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lol! Smoochers back! Yaknow? That's exactly how I imagine him to be too. Kind of a grumpy Gus type with bad body odor. :O
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥JAMES HAVEN♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Still around? I hope I didn't miss you! Happy Almost New Year!
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
(((ESE))))
(((DOT))))
(((AUNT BEA)))
Good to see everyone SmOOches!
Yes it is hard to live with Brad he is not the guy you see on the big screen. He is moody, sullen, a nose picker, and has greasy skin.
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by James Haven on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 9:32pm.
Ha! thanks for the laugh James Haven I was in a pissy mood all day until I saw you. **hugs**