JLo & Skeletor's Divorce Duet
Now this is what I expect from a JLo divorce announcement! Some fucking drama. Gatecrasher says that on this coming Valentine Day's, JLo will join Skeletor onstage at Madison Square Garden in NYC where they will sing a farewell duet together and announce their divorce to everyone. That's if anyone is still in the audience. When JLo takes the stage to sing live, I'm sure thousands of bitches will either run for the door or find a sharp object to stab at their ears with.
JLo and Skeletor announced she was knocked up with the Dragon Tales Twins at one of their concerts in Miami, so she feels this is a fitting way to announce that their marriage is worm meat. A friend of JLo's said, “Jennifer is planning on joining Marc onstage for a surprise duet. Things haven’t been right for a while now, and they thought it would be a bittersweet." Um. It will be all bitter and no sweet since JLo is planning to sing live. The woman has a voice like a chihuahua after debarking surgery.
I know Wanda Sykes doesn't want me to call things "gay", but this shit is gayer than gay! JLo and Skeletor announcing their divorce through song?! I believe it, because this is definitely something gay ass JLo would do. Bitch thinks she's in some goddamn Rodgers & Hammerstein musical.
Not only will JLo sing a farewell song to Skeletor, but she will also be singing a farewell song to relevance.
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James Haven in da house! ((HUG))!!!
James, Brad sounds like a stinky thorn in your side...I dunno HOW you put up with it?
Submitted by James Haven on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 9:32pm.
always a great story!... hi, JH!!... that's all i got!
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
James Haven has spoken to Miss Jenny from the Block herself, and he knows the whole sordid, dragon tale!
But first, James Haven wishes all his crazy bitches (and you all are CA ray Zee!) a Happy and Healthy new year! SmOOches to all!
Before we get down and dirty, James Haven spent some time today with Daddy Voight seein' it's his birthday and all. Daddy was VERY sad because Angie didn't send him a card. But things at Casa Pitt are even worse. Brad is madder then Sir Tommy after finding out his favorite Butt Plug has been discontinued.
Seems Brad has been one upped by Jen! Her boring movie topped his boring movie. Everyone had to creep around Brad so's not to make him mad.
James Haven went to see the movie with the "Family" and he fell asleep three minutes into the movie. Talk about a snoozefest! James Haven woke up after Brad had poured a Root Beer Float on James Haven's head. Talk about brain freeze! It was Mad that spilled the beans and told on James Haven! That pesky kid is always getting James Haven into trouble.
Brad stomped out of the theater and made James Haven take a bus home. It wouldn't have been so bad, but James Haven had no money and had to ride on top of the bumper. The fumes just added to James Haven's headache. When James Haven arrived home, Brad had locked him out! A huge sign on the gate read: James Haven: Keep Out!
James Haven had to call Dr. Dre to come pick him up. It's always fun at Dr. Dre's house. The good doc really knows how to have party. James Haven was welcomed by some of Rap's biggest stars. Thank goodness Kanye wasn't there. He's such a wet noodle. Or is it blanket? Either way, he's wet and soggy. He's always yelling. "HEY GIMME A DRINK!." "WHAT TIME IS IT?" or "JAMES HAVEN GET THE F**K OFF MY SHOE!" if he didn't have such big flippers James Haven wouldn't be steppin on his shoes.
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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She is a bit over dramatic,she lives her life like it's an opera. I am sure Diddy popped a boner though when he heard she was back on the market.Can't stand her or Marc,they seem like snobby assholes.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Submitted by weenielover on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 4:34pm.
Totally off topic cause i can't resist your avie..
did you run out of your very famous "Shwety Balls"??
i've heard they're the best xmas delicacy!
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GAWDDD! They remind me of Steve Lawrence and Edie Gourmet. Cheezy has beens!
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"Have you seen my Schweddy Balls?"
gawd, is she duller than dirt these days...and that freaking blood sucker, I knew it wouldn't last but I was hoping Fishsticks would have beat her to the divorce court. She is one repulsive no-talent, boring as all hell whatever she is...and he looks dead, actually that is an insult to the dead...(sorry!), he just looks like someone who has a serious heroin addiction, he ALWAYS looks like a junkie to me...I see nothing even remotely appealing about him, he is beyond ugly, and she is beyond not-relevant, so with that who really gives two shits about either one of them. Madison Square Garden my ass...all two people (their kids) will be in the audience to witness this fuckery!!
mentirosos on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 3:15pm.
Submitted by zomay on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 3:13pm.
Of all the latin guys you could of used to make a baby with, AND you pick this vampire? Makes no sense...
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Shes the type who would get jelous of her daughters youth and beauty so she picked someone to ensure her kids would NEVER be as beautiful as she is...my guess.
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Does that really happend?! Sadness. I want my girl to be smart and pretty. Would not want anything else for her. But I will love her no matter what!
I bet, Skeletor had enough of her Scientology freakery-fuckery. Amen.
Hey just think...the Dragon Tail twins will get to see a video montage of their parents! First, that horridly bad performance at the Grammys, then their parents announcing their imminent arrival, and ending it all with a farewell song to their marriage. Wow, what lucky kids!
Please no blue eye shadow! JBlow is going for the Liz Taylor award for husbands. She only has five more to go.
Submitted by yolie: "I will always use the term, "That's so gay!" I don't care what Wanda or Hillary Horseteeth Duff say! "
Me too. I know it's not PC, and I love my gayelle brethren and sistren, but I still say that to Mr. Hekki. Not in polite company or in front of the kids.
Submitted by zomay on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 3:13pm.
Of all the latin guys you could of used to make a baby with, AND you pick this vampire? Makes no sense...
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Shes the type who would get jelous of her daughters youth and beauty so she picked someone to ensure her kids would NEVER be as beautiful as she is...my guess.
0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0
The past is lost but something might be found to take its place...
Of all the latin guys you could of used to make a baby with, AND you pick this vampire? Makes no sense...
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Submitted by sushi on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 2:04pm.
He's outlived his use for publicity. Her career is in the tank so the only possible way for her to make a splash again is through a divorce. This ruthless bitch will go on fucking someoine else to get her name in the press not knowing that all the plastic surgery in the world cannot save this fuckpig's career.
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This made me laugh --- "fuckpig!" I completely agree. She's irrelevant, her stupid twins are ugly (yea, I said it), and she is a talentless fuckpig!
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You better watch out, you better not cry.
WHAT A TOTAL C.U.N.T. she really thinks she's so important. No one gives a flying fart if they divorce. Okay maybe a little because I can't stand them and their phony fairytale life with their dragon tales twins that look like Marc made them by himself. Go way JLOW, please for the sake of humanity. And I beg you STOP SCREECHING, er singing. Whatever you call that shit.
Submitted by paris herpes on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 2:42pm.
That's some awesome fuckery right there...it almost makes me want to go to the concert to watch them announce the divorce.
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wear construction-strong (the black ones) earplugs. When you see the rest of the audience getting that "they're making an announcement" look, take them off. If they say "we have a wonderful family, but our careers (try to keep a straight face) do not allow us to have the family we so wished for... it's sad to announce we're separating"
after that fuckery, ask for a refund because you "came to see a happy, much in love (again, keep the straight face) and not a split.
get yourself a well deserve sundae with the cash.
If they're gonna announce she's preggo again, hide in your basement.
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That's some awesome fuckery right there...it almost makes me want to go to the concert to watch them announce the divorce...I said ALMOST, my ears probably couldn't take the sound of a cat drowning which is what this ho sounds like anyway.
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
"Gatecrasher says that on this coming Valentine Day's, JLo will join Skeletor onstage at Madison Square Garden in NYC where they will sing a farewell duet together and announce their divorce to everyone."
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Seriously...
"WHAT TYPE OF FUCKERY IS THIS?!?!?!"
He's outlived his use for publicity. Her career is in the tank so the only possible way for her to make a splash again is through a divorce. This ruthless bitch will go on fucking someoine else to get her name in the press not knowing that all the plastic surgery in the world cannot save this fuckpig's career.
Aww poor little faux Selena wore out another man again LOL
Skeletor must have a huge schlong...what's the attraction with him?? I am not understanding!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
Why would they sing about it? That doesn't make any sense.
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
I will always use the term, "That's so gay!" I don't care what Wanda or Hillary Horseteeth Duff say!
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Damn! Nice hooker shoes, baby. Can you dance in those things?
Daddy Spears
Nothing says it's over like weapons.
Great: I am going to that concert
o and yes Tré Gay
That IS gay. :)
Is it true that Mark Anthony went back to his old wife? Because that's really a stooopid idea for first wife. We as women need to stand up and just say no to these fooools!!! Okay I'm done talking. :)
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I wouldnot put it past these two hasbeen attention junkies to pull some such fuckery. I'm surprised they don't try to make an event of them taking a shit.
FOr the record, I predict they will regale us with a bilingual version of Neither One of Us wants to say goodbye, followed by a eardrum shattering of Vaya Con Dios.
Most kids only hear dribs and drabs about their parents' divorce years after the fact. The twins will be able to watch it on YouTube.
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Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures. (SJ)
I hate cheaters with a passion, but I have to say, if I were married to J Lo, I'd cheat too. Fucking pretentious no talent bitch.
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
Submitted by Pauly Shore on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:33pm.
Either tilt your head back and nose-suck really hard, or do the old-man rapid-fire nose blow.
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Argh! For reals. I've tried everything: blowing, sucking, saline, steam. I even asked my doctor to fix it. She just smiled and said "there's nothing really I can do for that" in that "you're an idiot" kinda way.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
She just jumps from one relationship to another, it's no surprise this didn't last. She seems too high maintenance and he's probably a cheat.
I do like that she's kept her kids hidden from the public all these months(even though she whored them out on the front page of some mag), but that's about the only thing I have nice to say about her.
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:31pm.
@Pauly Shore:
NO silly! I have boogers in my nose!
Well, ONE floating booger deep in my nose that won't go away. I was TRYING to be delicate! Like the delicate flower
I am! FUCK!
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Sweet angel, you can't be delicate if you have obese bats in the cave.
Either tilt your head back and nose-suck really hard, or do the old-man rapid-fire nose blow.
@Pauly Shore:
NO silly! I have boogers in my nose!
Well, ONE floating booger deep in my nose that won't go away. I was TRYING to be delicate! Like the delicate flower I am! FUCK!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:25pm
i will remember that!
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:26pm.
LOL! EW! Not in my toilet! In my nose! LOL!
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YOU HAVE POOS IN YOUR NOSE?
Holy mother of mercy. I have such a boner.
Submitted by xultar on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:25pm.
ROFFPNMFPLMFAO
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I need to break that down. My brain wants to throw up from looking at it.
Rolling on the floor farting poops no more flicking penises laughing my fucking ass off?
Submitted by Pauly Shore on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:25pm.
angel_i - if you've had a morning full of barfing and toilet floaters,
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LOL! EW! Not in my toilet! In my nose! LOL!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
ROFFPNMFPLMFAO
angel_i - if you've had a morning full of barfing and toilet floaters, you're already having a way better morning than I am. I can't poop.
Submitted by Haribo on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:19pm.
LOL. Had a flash of masochism there.
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I swear, some people should not be allowed to leave the comfort of their own padded room.-MK
Submitted by Pauly Shore on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:20pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:19pm.
@Pauly Shore:
SoR-RaY!
You do remember how drunk I was last night right?
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Indeed I do, but how does that affect now? Are you hungover like a Michael Jackson baby on the balcony?
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I'm feeling kinda ruff but not awful.
My body did a lot of purging this morning;\
I almost never drink like that.
I have an ear infection:(
I don't think you get those from drinking tho...
and a floater that won't go away.
BOOOOOOOOOOHOOHOOHOOHOO! My body hates me now!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:19pm.
@Pauly Shore:
SoR-RaY!
You do remember how drunk I was last night right?
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Indeed I do, but how does that affect now? Are you hungover like a Michael Jackson baby on the balcony?
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:14pm.
fuck, nooooo!! ;/ yuck!
@Pauly Shore:
SoR-RaY!
You do remember how drunk I was last night right?
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Jennifer Lopez looks like a big unhealthy orange. I want to slap her.
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:14pm.
Um...sure. But I can PRETEND to be sad, right?
Yes - pee your pants in the bathtub. AND THEN you can take a shower and sing Womanizer and videotape it!
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My dear, you must read my posts more closely. I said right under that, you have to be pretend-sad at some point. Tsk.
Womanizah? Heck no, I'm bringing back Single Ladies and I'll be spanking my own ass the whoooooooooole time. I think I'll wear my big curly wig and a frayed loin cloth. Sound sexy?
Pauly Shore : feel free love, LOL
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
I CAN HAZ LOLO!?!?!? :(
Hey Nitty!
I actually like a couple of J.Lo's songs, but it ain't because of her voice.
I also think she is a complete nightmare of a person.
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See what you give is just what you get, I know it hasn't hit you yet;
Now I don't mean to get you upset, but every cause has an effect
- Lauryn Hill "Superstar"
Submitted by Pauly Shore on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:12pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:11pm.
I'm gonna pretend I didn't even notice. Then, like, 8 months later I'm gonna say: OMG They're divorced?!?! When did THAT happen?!
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And then you'll be sad right?
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Um...sure. But I can PRETEND to be sad, right?
Yes - pee your pants in the bathtub. AND THEN you can take a shower and sing Womanizer and videotape it!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Submitted by Haribo on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 12:05pm.
i somehow cannot (or maybe i just refuse to) picture these two doing the "dirty-dirty".
Wonder what Skeletor's bone-r looks like?
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I swear, some people should not be allowed to leave the comfort of their own padded room.-MK