Drew Barrymore Is Not A Slut, Has A New Piece
I read this story about Drew Barrymore's new piece on UsWeekly and decided to glance at the comments. It seems that some think that Drew is the whore of Hollywood because she's fucked around with a few guys. I have this argument all the time on what constitutes a real big slut. From what I know, Drew isn't a member of the slut club. She's probably dated or effed a handful of dudes in the past year. That isn't slutty! That's kind of pilgrim-ish actually! So how do you know if you're a big whore? Well, let's walk away from Drew for a bit so that I can give you an example:
One time I went out on a blind date with some dude. Now before I even laid eyes on him, I decided I would do sex to him because I was feeling "needy" that night. So I finally met up with him and the dude was fugly with a capital F-U-G-L-Y. And he fucking smelled like cheese butter. You know when the sweat collects under the fat rolls and creates butter? That's what the bitch smelled like. He didn't even have a good personality. He barely talked and was really shy. Even though he was a damn troll with the personality of a lima bean, I never once considered not doing sexy times with him. I mean, I had to hold my nose while we were doing it, because he smelled so rancid.Only after it was all said and jizzed did I sort of regret it, but then I just shrugged it off because I got mine. When you'll screw someone who makes you dry heave, that's when you pretty much know you are a big slut with no self-respect. Yay for sluts!
Okay, back to Drew, who is not a slut. UsWeekly says she's boinking Jason Segel from Forgetting Sarah Marshall and How I Met Your Mother. TMZ has a video of them singing "Rainbow Connection" during karaoke night at the Brass Monkey Bar in L.A. A source said, "Drew and Jason were obviously dating because they were kissing and touching each other throughout the night."
Another source said that Drew and Jason are pretty casual. They are just "friends with benefits." Wait. She has friends with benefits? SLUT! No, I'm joking.
Drew seems to have a type. She likes the dudes who giggle and cracks jokes while you're blowing them. Tom Green, The Mac Dude and Jason Segel all seem the type to break into stand up while fucking. So Jason and Drew make sense to me. And since we're talking about Jason Segel, a while ago Defamer posted a picture of what they said is his penis. Holler if you see it. I'm still looking for it, because I see no peen there.
And here's Drew doing her worst SamRo impression in L.A. the other day.
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Mike - I'm pretty sure that pic of Drew is from when she did Playboy about 10 years ago.
Submitted by Salem13 on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 7:40pm.
I feel the same way about Drew. I think she's a good person, but a wild child who hasn't met her match yet. And tiki tool ain't her match!
How about those Birds?!!!!!! Unbelievable! To see the Eagles so thoroughly dominate Dallas?
Sorry I just jizzed in my ponts....
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
What happened to his wife, Linda Ciardellini (sp?) from ER?
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My brains tell me he's a douche,
but my genitals tell me he's a hot piece.
Submitted by Salem13 on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 7:40pm.
Well, I happen to think thats a pretty hot picture (with the flowers) of Drew.
It is a beautiful pic, but it's quite obvious Drew's airbrushed to within an inch of her life.
Don't forget that Vince Neil used to fuck her in the early 90's!
Life is too short to waste fucking rancid peeps.
the DUDE! abides...
Submitted by Lindalou on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 7:35pm.
Thanks! I'm old and haven't seen his films. Funny, not knowing his background, I still thought to myself, what a douche!
I never understood the Tom Green thing either. Don't get me wrong, I am a sucker for a man who can make me laugh. I guess there is fine fine line between funny and icky.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Well, I happen to think thats a pretty hot picture (with the flowers) of Drew. Meh, Usweekly commenters are just like perez Hiltons, TMZ, etc. lazy mofos living in their moms basement trolling the interwebs all day.
Whatever to Drew, as far as I know she hasn't broken any marriages/relationships, she doesn't have kids, so what the fuck ever.
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We worship a dancing peanut, for corn’s sake!
I didn't see no peen, just fur, lots of fur.
TRIM THAT SHIT!
Jesus, MK, don't you know how to masturbate?
I like Drew. She's one of the few celebrities I don't wish a painful, lingering death on.
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I have a delivery from Mr....Mop.
Hi MK. I have two really clear pics of Jason Segel. I'll e-mail them to you.
Isn't he the one with thte micro penis in Knocked Up?? How can her cooter feel anything?
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
(")_(")
Submitted by Deb on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 7:32pm.
Wait. WHO is the dreamboat at the tiki bar?!!!
click to see "dreamboats" peen. Its not very special but it is all his.
http://videogum.com/archives/full-frontal-nudity/jason-segels-penis-in-f...
Ugh he needs to put a pair of drawers on.
GQ headin up to one-two-five... Black Moon
idk, i think they make a cute couple.
At least she ain't breaking up a marriage and adopting kids.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Drew Barrymore: Giving hope to flabby, ugly, unfunny men that they might date a Hollywood actress.
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Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures. (SJ)
Wait. WHO is the dreamboat at the tiki bar?!!!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Heh, Ive always liked Drew. She comes off as nice, easy going and a little impulsive.
i wish drew was a slut because i'm jealous. i totally have a crush on jason segel.
DREW IS ONE ANNOYING ASS LOOKING BITCH. SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE IS ALWAYS GODDAMN FUCKING TALKING AND SMILING OUT OF THE FUCKING CORNER OF HER OBNOXIOUS LOOKING FUCKING MOUTH.
I would say drew barrymore has fucked over 50 guys in her lifetime. SLUT
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"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
1. Who the fuck wrote that?!?!
2. That man has a VAGINA! A big, hairy vagina. Weirdness.
3. She's like LiLo and SamRo melded with a little Katie and Perez thrown in for good measure.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
I remember Jason Segel best from the short-lived series, Freaks and Geeks...that show was so funny, and so was Jason.
I like Drew, boink on, Drew!! :)
Drew's body is beautifullllll in that picture.
Oh please...if she were a dude this wouldn't even be an issue. Slut. HA!
MK, the whole smegma quickie story almost made me lose my sammich. TYVM. No lesbionic times for YOU tonight, mista!
"Kissing and touching throughout the night" does not mean you're dating. I've seen plenty of people do it while drunk. It's standard practice. Or it is in this town haha.
Myspace more importantly Last.fm
erm also NOT gangsta.
Drew Barrymore is not a slut ... unless she's a dlister.
However, John Mayer, Gerard Butler, and Jamie Foxx are sluttish.
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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Friends with bennies was the best.
Hey as long as you're single, no kids, and still hot...SLUT AWAY!!!!!!!
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"Home remedy #108: IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
She's had shit luck in the dude dept that's for sure. I'm not sure if she's a slut or not, maybe she gets blackout drunk and she just happens to be by some actor type guy who is attractive where she is and they end up making out and then being linked to each other. What a travesty.
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
I am not mad at Drew. The Tom Green thing freaked me out, but she is not a slut by any means. And even if she was, that's still my girl.
Eh, she doesn't bother me. And her pic is hot.
Oh, MK, I just love your slutty stories!
"When you'll screw someone who makes you dry heave, that's when you pretty much know you are a big slut with no self-respect. Yay for sluts!"
You are my hero.
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Heath Ledger
4/4/79 - 1/22/08
Awww, I like Drew. She has come from surviving a horrendously cursed family and a rotten upbringing to some semblance of a normal life (for Hollywood that is). I want to see her happy.
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I’ve turned from an ordinary Australian housewife into a gigastar, icon, talk-show host, swami, spin doctor… and now I’m a style guru!
What no!! I was just developing a crush on him! Damn her.
Myspace more importantly Last.fm
erm also NOT gangsta.