The World's Heaviest Cake Doesn't Look Delicious
Over in Bucharest on Sunday, a new world record for the fattest cake was set. An official ho from the Guinness Book of World Records was on hand to weigh the cake and officially declare it the fattest cake in the world at 619 pounds. Twenty seconds later, Aretha Franklin magically floated in on her hot air balloon chichis and BOOM! The world's heaviest cake suddenly disappeared. No, the cake was served to the people of Bucharest.
If you're going to bake the fattest cake in the world, make that shit delicious looking. That shit is sad looking. I don't even see any colored sugar flowers on that cake. Usually when I see a cake, I want to dive in, get dirty with it and swallow all it has to offer. But not with this cake. That shit looks like the Styrofoam cake they gave us on our birthday in kindergarten. Those dumb ass teachers would stick some candles in a fake cake and sing Happy Birthday to us. There was never a smile in the room, because we all knew we were being bamboozled. I mean, fake cake?! Illegal and hurtful. Those teachers should be in prison for their acts of unkindness.
The city of Bucharest also recently beat the world record for the looooongest sausage. The previous record was set by Peter North. Twenty seconds after it was declared the longest sausage, Parasite Hilton magically floated in on her hot air balloon pussy lips and BOOM! The world's longest sausage suddenly disappeared.
And yes, when I first saw the title "The World's Heaviest Sausage," my no-no immediately started barking like a yappy Pomeranian. I'm glad you asked. Clip below (of the sausage, not of my no-no barking):
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EvilShoe they sell Oxycontin over the counter?! WTF? I need to head over to ROmania STAT!
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not in Bucharest, but in small towns with 20 people in them they sell almost anything with no prescription:)
I wonder what sort of cake it is to be so heavy...
I love cake! Mmmmmm **smacking lips**
GQ headin up to one-two-five... Black Moon
>>fake cake<<?????
That is one of the most horrible things I have ever heard of! So sorry, MK!
How twisted is this, tho:
At my Catholic school, when it was your birthday, they got our gargantuan Janitor, Mr. Jenkins, to put you over his knee and give you as many smacks on your ass as years you'd just turned.
Dark-sided??
Two things: That IS a UGLY cake. and...Doesn't it make it the world's heaviest? Wouldn't the worlds FATTEST cake be a little...FATTER?
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Submitted by relle on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 1:59pm.
EvilShoe, what did you eat here that made you sick ? Sarmale, mamaliga, cozonac ?:)) all of them maybe?
And you're right about the pharmacies. The stupid thing is that they give stuff like Diazepam or Xanax with no prescription
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oh ok. BUT STILL!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by paris herpes on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 3:26pm.
EvilShoe they sell Oxycontin over the counter?! WTF? I need to head over to Rumania STAT!
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HUH!?!?!? REALLY!?!?!
paris herpes im so coming with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
EvilShoe they sell Oxycontin over the counter?! WTF? I need to head over to Rumania STAT!
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
How traumatizing for you, MK! I can't believe that your teachers would take out a fake cake to sing happy birthday to you. How cheap is that shit! SUCKS. Anyway, that cake looks gross. I don't like cake really, it's too sweet. All I like is dark chocolate. Mmmmm!
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
Submitted by Deb: "Most cake gags me. Nothing middle and icky-sweet icing. Carrot cake and red velvet cake are yummy though."
AMEN. I want that shit to taste GOOD. It usually doesn't. I hate buttercream frosting, and even most cream cheese frosting is too sugary. I have an AWESOME recipe for chocolate frosting that is like pudding (it uses cornstarch) and everyone adores it. And another you can google or search the recipe sites for is "poor man's whipped cream". Orgasmic.
EvilShoe, what did you eat here that made you sick ? Sarmale, mamaliga, cozonac ?:)) all of them maybe?
And you're right about the pharmacies. The stupid thing is that they give stuff like Diazepam or Xanax with no prescription
And yes, when I first saw the title "The World's Heaviest Sausage," my no-no immediately started barking like a yappy Pomeranian.
I think I just peed myself. LOL
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Heath Ledger
4/4/79 - 1/22/08
Sloooooooooooooooooow newsday.
And thank the God of Jimmy Dean that we didn't see MK's no-no. Wait, maybe it's hot.
Meh, I thought I was done online today and I come back here only to get a bad flashback.
Those whores in Romania know how to bake the sweets, that's for sure! I have been there a few times. The first time my healthy eating ass ate so much (because that shit tasted delicious!) I was literally sick.
They have these tall apartment buildings and at the bottom of each one is a pharmacy (aka the drug outlet), an internet cafe etc...
I went into a pharmacy with the worst stomachache. I had too much salt and sweets, I was so sick! I asked for a water pill and pepto. The lady said I needed a prescription for the water pill (WTF) and all they had for stomachaches was something called Dicarbocalm but they had Oxycotin, Viagara and the like OVER THE COUNTER and you could buy it by the pill. WTF!
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Dick happens! - MK
Most cake gags me. Nothing middle and icky-sweet icing. Carrot cake and red velvet cake are yummy though.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Mrs. Gosling on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 12:39pm.
The thing about ace of cakes is I'm pretty sure the cakes taste disgusting. They put sooo much time/effort into decorating them that I doubt people buy them for the *actual* cake. I think they charge by size and how much materials/ingredients they use.
I rather have a simply decorated but incredibly delicious cake, then an elaborate decorated dry pound cake.
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We worship a dancing peanut, for corn’s sake!
"Those dumb ass teachers would stick some candles in a fake cake and sing Happy Birthday to us. There was never a smile in the room, because we all knew we were being bamboozled."
LOL!!! Jeebus...this explains a lot.
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Wendy? Darling? LIGHT OF MY LIFE.
I'm sorry but there's no way that shit is cooked in the middle.
MK,
Possible title for your memoirs: "The Barking No-No".
It would have been funny had the cake been Aretha Franklin shaped.
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You better watch out, you better not cry.
What if you wrapped the sausage AROUND the cake? Would that make it more edible? Or cut the sausage into little meat flowers? Or gave the cake beef curtains? Maybe then it would be impressive.
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Own it like a strap-on.
Submitted by NovaNightly on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 12:45pm
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I am with you on the sugar thing...I just took a bunch of sugary stuff from my house to the Community Food Pantry...plus some healthy stuff, I am not a total ass.
Oh HELL no!! I am soooooo done with sweets and cakes and cookies and brownies and you name it....DONE!!
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All we are....is dust in the wind, dude.
-Ted "Theodore" Logan
i want some cake! I still like the flowers Miss P!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"thats my favorite bible saying bitch!"
at least the sang happy birthday to you MK, styrofoam and all! We just got boring nuns and they never did shit for anyone's bday
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
My sister and I used to fight over the sugar flowers on birthday cakes. I had one of those the other day, nasty
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
The worlds heaviest cake should have been shaped like a big hungry hippo........fake cake? damn now I know I'm glad I didn't goto kindergarden
typical boring european cake!
Fake Cake MK? Thats just cruel!
You know on the show Ace of Cakes where they make all types of cakes shaped into different stuff like cars and rats...well I always feel like those cakes are soooo small and not completely edible...I wonder how much they go for?
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Christmas is over :(