Tuesday, December 30th 2008

Afternoon Crumbs


Kirstie Alley could eat it faster - Bits & Pieces (via Boing Boing)

Lucifer must be freezing his ass off, because Pamela Anderson is wearing pants - Hollywood Tuna

More of Lily Allen sunning her little grapes - Egotastic!

Single Ladies meets Newsies - Towleroad

Kate Moss and a headless Gaston in a Just Cavalli ad - Just Jared

Beyonce's ego is totally going to sink the boat - Lainey Gossip

That was kind of Joel Madden to keep his top on. He's thinking of us - Popsugar

Beyonce hates parties - Hollywood Rag

Celebrity tokers of the year - Cityrag

This video still needs more ass (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Vadge should use some of that cash to buy a damn meal - I'm Not Obsessed

Big shock. Guess who's the most exposed whores of '08? - Celebitchy

Michael Lohan needs to take his own advice - Socialite Life

STFU ScarJo - ICYDK

Posted by: Michael K


Kirstie Alley could eat it faster

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that was mean but oh soo funny

Suki's picture

wow scarjo never ceases to amaze me...with her stupidity....call me crazy but maybe if she stopped flashing her tits and talking about how great her tits are and mentioning her tits, (did i mention scarjos tits?) then people might start to comment on her acting abilities rather than her tits; but thats assuming that she has any real acting ability which she does not...she should really stfu and do porn already...

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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08

MyTwoCents's picture

Submitted by FireCat on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 8:19am.

Either I'm really boozy or that's the funniest story I've read for ages. lol!!

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FireCat's picture

I have taken everything from Combat Roach Gel to a tube of Super Glue out of my dog's mouth. Luckily, the glue solidified with his saliva so it came out in one piece.
Once I was doing laundry and I felt something hit my shoulder so I reached up and noticed my ear ring was missing. I looked down to see if it was on the floor and so of course the two nosy young dogs immediately flew over and both acted like they were chewing on something. I'm trying to wrestle with two little squirmy ass dogs mouths to see if they have anything and look on the carpet at the same time. After 5 minutes, i gave up and called the vet (1, they were sharp, dangly ear rings and 2, they were an anniversary gift.)
The vet said just to give them a half teaspoon of peroxide to induce vomiting. Sooo, i barricade them in the kitchen, get the peroxide, pry their little mouths open and pour in the peroxide. One begins to spew immediately. Not only does the other not spew, she starts trying to get to the mess. Lovely. 2 half teaspoons later and the pug's still holding her own and I haven't found my ear ring.
The vet said after 30 minutes, I would just have to wait for it to pass. We spent an entire weekend following the little shits around and sifting through their offal ("I got it- nope, it's just an acorn") still no ear ring.
Sunday afternoon (3 poop sifting days later) I was doing laundry and found the ear ring stuck to a towel. it had apparently been the back of the ear ring that hit my shoulder.

Best thing for him, really.
His therapy was going no where...

Manimal5's picture

"Britney had to be locked in a psych ward twice, lose control of her estate, lose custody of her kids and untangle herself from a controlling svengali pyschopath this year to get more ink than Jolie and Aniston".

Seal my eyes closed with super glue, but I hope that 2009 is tougher yet.

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DeeDee's picture

Submitted by Manimal5 on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 11:28pm.
Smash me on the head with a frying pan, but I think Lilly Allen looks kinda hot.
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Do you prefer cast iron or anodized aluminum? lol

letinstar's picture

can pammy anderson spell "pants"? and they're not white, so hell has indeed frozen over...

grateful, grateful, grateful joel madden is covered up...
_____________________________________________
did you sleep with charlie the tuna last night or did you just forget to douche?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrJAgdMLsMI&feature=related

Manimal5's picture

Smash me on the head with a frying pan, but I think Lilly Allen looks kinda hot.

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Thank yous to the people who spoke kindness about my family dog...that was many moons ago but yes, he had the 'bloat' and probably died in utter agony. I just can't make something funny out of that. :\

I think a lot of people don't realize how bad it is to feed human food to pets...and I doubt anyone would do that on purpose if they knew better. Onions and garlic can be lethal to cats.

The tampon story made me LMAO! ACK! GRoDy!

idiots drive me loco's picture

Submitted by luvapetadopt on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 8:13pm.
All you fuckers that think its cool to give your dog this shitty food....ROT IN HELL

Cool it..no one said it right, we were discussing real life things that dogs get into. Many dogs are quite resourceful when it comes to digging into trash, or eating things it should not have. I certainly would never feed my dog cholocate filled liquer candies. Sunja broke INTO many a cabinet over time, used an ottoman to climb unto a table, THEN jump on the counter to eat things. If you've owned a dog with some intelligence, or a hound dog, they WILL get into things they shouldn't.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Interviewer: You're playing one of the most famous characters in movie history. How come we don't see you in all the tabloids?
Daniel Craig: Because I don't want to be in them.

toni's picture

WTF happened to that cute little Madonna Ciccone? She had a better nose than this pointy point and those cheek implants are monstrous. She should've done slighter nips and tucks, everything is stringy but the new parts.

Manimal5's picture

Scarjo's "phases" are looking good.

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Brittny's picture

Bubbas owner has fat hands
He probably eats burritos faster then his dog.
Wow that was rude.
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Gerard, Jude, Robert Pattinson. Rowr.
Your heart is my pinata

Manimal5's picture

Lilly Allen's boobs are bigger than grapes.

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soul's picture

Good Bubbuh!
(our Bubbuh is a little porker. :D)
~~!_!~~
"Oo-oo-ooh, call them the diamond dogs"
- D.B.

Rosemary's picture

What a cute dog, I had to replay that i totally missed that the first time!

luvapetadopt's picture

All you fuckers that think its cool to give your dog this shitty food....ROT IN HELL

It's true that "sex symbol" is a phase for ScarJo. As soon as the phase is over, her acting work will dry up.

angel_i's picture

@idiots drive me loco:
LOL! My doggie drove me crazy like that. It's funny - it was other stuff but I can here it in your words. There's a funny kids book called: What Max Ate from A-Z (No, Really). And there's a picture of this little wheaton terrier in the back. It's all true! LOL! It's a funny story.

♥ ThreadKilla!
The Rules of the Internet
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)

idiots drive me loco's picture

daushunds will eat anything, but I've never had a piggy daushand like Sunja. Sunja would open cabinets to get at trash and other food. That piggy ate so much trash she barfed, then continued her gluttonous tour of the trash can. Came home to trash everywhere, and her about to eat her throwup. Its only fitting she died because of something she ate. I can't believe she lived 15 years though...

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Interviewer: You're playing one of the most famous characters in movie history. How come we don't see you in all the tabloids?
Daniel Craig: Because I don't want to be in them.

weenielover's picture

Submitted by idiots drive me loco on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 4:40pm.
"my last daushund was a fucking pig."

LOLOL. funny. I've had daschunds my whole life. They will eat ANYTHING. One of my weenies love to eat my daughters undies (off the floor). We wondered why his poop had pink flowers...
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"Have you seen my Schweddy Balls?"

Are those tits Lily Allen has or just carbuncles growing on her chest?

Biel-zee-bub's picture

No way, Tommygirl would be a much more mellow fellow, and for sure would've thought twice about jumping the shark, I mean the couch. Potheads would think about it, then decide fuck it, it's not worth the bother.

Edited to add: If there was EVER anybody who needed a good hit of the chronic to chill their ass out, it's Tommygirl.

"Mistletoe- n. A demon weed that causes ugly men to think they can force unwanted and awkward kisses upon a woman."

angel_i's picture

Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 4:57pm.

I know it's not right to give dogs people food, but what did they eat before kibble was invented? Any damn thing they could get their chompers on. And cat shit.

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Ha! For reals.

I stopped feeding my dog kibble long before he died - I fed him meat and bones mostly with some carefully chosen fillers and veggies...and I wish I'd stopped sooner. The moer I research, the more I believe that processed pet food is a leading cause of cancer in domestic animals.

♥ ThreadKilla!
The Rules of the Internet
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)

angel_i's picture

Submitted by TITS on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 5:32pm.

Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 4:43pm.

Submitted by TITS on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 4:40pm.

People Please!! IT'S TAP WATER IN BOTTLES.
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A Public Service Announcement...
*

I mean... I get the convenience of it and all but shit. BUYING WATER?

I know many people who do it on a regular basis - even getting it delivered to their homes.

If your tap water tastes that bad, you need to either get your pipes checked out (old and rusted) or contact your city water manager.
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And filters!

♥ ThreadKilla!
The Rules of the Internet
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)

TITS's picture

Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 4:43pm.

Submitted by TITS on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 4:40pm.

People Please!! IT'S TAP WATER IN BOTTLES.
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A Public Service Announcement...
*

I mean... I get the convenience of it and all but shit. BUYING WATER?

I know many people who do it on a regular basis - even getting it delivered to their homes.

If your tap water tastes that bad, you need to either get your pipes checked out (old and rusted) or contact your city water manager.

For the snooty picky pets - i suggest cleaning the water bowl every day and keeping it topped up with fresh water. my cat will only drink from the glass next to my bed, so i keep it filled for him. Sometimes he'll wait for me to top it up WITH TAPWATER - it seems to add something to the water, like it goes flat.

I really expected the bottled water industry to collapse after the recent revelations.. they're even having to put on the labels where they get the water from.

I've had real spring water and it's tasty, but that's due to the micro-organisms, and the not so micro organisms that are in it.

Bah. Rant over.

+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock

"Kirsty Alley could eat it faster" Michael K cracks me up.

yepyepyep's picture

Hekki on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 4:57pm.

I know it's not right to give dogs people food, but what did they eat before kibble was invented?
they ate means and grains etc we can feed our dogs human food without seasoning and avoid all junk food

Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"

paris herpes's picture

Taco Bell's bean burritos DO have onions in the salsa that come in it, I remember distinctly...that's going to cause some mega-pukeage for the poor doggie. BAD OWNER!

http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/

paris herpes's picture

Salem, Celebitchy is gettin bored of Brangelina, that's how overexposed their asses are. They seem to be getting more pro-Britney as she gets more boring and straight edge. I totally miss crazy Britney... : ( !

http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/

yepyepyep's picture

My chihuahua will no longer scarf things down, I have prank him too many times ; p
but seriously burritos are a no no for dogs, not only does it have beans it probably contains onions and god only knows what else, Bad owner
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"

M.E.'s picture

Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 4:57pm.
I know it's not right to give dogs people food, but what did they eat before kibble was invented? Any damn thing they could get their chompers on. And cat shit.
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Please don't mention kitty rocca's, it makes me want to hurl.

Cat shit is the stinkiest shit ever.

Hekki's picture

I know it's not right to give dogs people food, but what did they eat before kibble was invented? Any damn thing they could get their chompers on. And cat shit.

Ms. Caligula's picture

And oh yeah, if I don't keep my bathroom door closed during "that time of the month", my dogs will fish tampons out of the garbage & eat them. From what I understand, this is quite common among dogs, but goddamn it's disgusting. All I have to do is leave the bathroom door open one time, & then come home to toilet paper & half-eaten used tampons scattered all over the house. I didn't even know my dog was doing it until several years ago. I took her outside to do her thing, & I noticed she was having some "trouble". So I grabbed a big leaf & went over to help her with this turd that was just clinging to her sphincter, & ended up pulling one of my used tampons out of her ass. Ah, the joys of being a dog owner.

Mrs. Gosling's picture

Fuck Im bored

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Christmas is over :(

paris herpes's picture

Poor dog! He's going to have an awful stomache ache and shit after that bean burrito goes through his system. The last time I ate one of those it completely ravaged my stomach to the point of...well, I'm not going to even say it. The dog freakin' swallowed that shit so fast! SCARY! Madonna looks like she had the fat sucked outta her face and ScarJo looks more stupid than sexy in that black bra thing.

http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/

luvapetadopt's picture

This falls under the category of animal abuse. I know this site is not to preach, but people really should not feed their pets human food. Sorry, but I think this is just wrong

Ms. Caligula's picture

My chihuahua does the exact same thing. My schnauzer, on the other hand, scares the hell out of herself when she farts. She'll let out a little toot, jump, & then take off running as fast as she can with her little docked tail folded down over her asshole, as if some evil fart monster is chasing after her.

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Submitted by KD on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 4:32pm.
ME- my dog doesn't really fart, but every now and they he lets out and little toot and then gives this really shocked face and then quick turns around to smell it in disbelief.

carefreea's picture

Cruel man, feeding his dog that.

On a different note, I just did an alcoholism test, and came up as :

"4-9 points: High risk for problem drinking. Addiction to alcohol is likely. Contact your doctor for help."

I got 4. Isn't that normal for most of here? Those 2 Paris lovers are enough reason for today ;)

christine the hoff's picture

everytime my son has a baked potato, my dog gets the skin.. so one time I wasn't paying attention and my son threw it in the trash.
that damn dog walked between me and the trash looking at me for ten minutes until I figured out what he wanted.
never fool with a german shepherd, man they will school you.

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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."

angel_i's picture

My dog could eat anything. Not that I wanted him to. But he did. With a passion. If it made him sick or I ended up having to pull it out of his butt (string, pieces of an ENTIRE plastic ball) he never ate it again. That was handy.

♥ ThreadKilla!
The Rules of the Internet
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)

angel_i's picture

Submitted by TITS on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 4:40pm.

People Please!! IT'S TAP WATER IN BOTTLES.
****************************

A Public Service Announcement...

From Canada:)

♥ ThreadKilla!
The Rules of the Internet
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)

louise_brooks's picture

I swear one of my coworkers listens to the All Single Ladies station. They play that shit 60 times each day.

One day they mixed it up and played, "Poison" by Tony Toni Tone and another coworker and I cracked up for 5 minutes. We are easily entertained.

idiots drive me loco's picture

my last daushund was a fucking pig. She ate the following:

Got into a jar of mayo from the trash. Got her inghead stuck while licking it clean.

A pound and a half of liqeur filled chocolates, including brandy, congac, vodka, and kaluha liquer, with wrappers.

vasaline

perscription face cream, and athlete's foot cream. On mulitiple occasions.

Finally died because she ate a penny, and died of zinc poisoning. Spare change can kill pets, so be careful.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Interviewer: You're playing one of the most famous characters in movie history. How come we don't see you in all the tabloids?
Daniel Craig: Because I don't want to be in them.

TITS's picture

OOOOooooOOOOOh seriously WTF!! People are still buying bottled water? AND feeding it to pets?

WTF?

Do they make toilet flavoured water for doggies too?

People Please!! IT'S TAP WATER IN BOTTLES.

+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock

M.E.'s picture

TITS - yep. My stupid ass dog even got himself sick off rancid apples. He would eat ANYTHING!

Funniest story ever ( I know, I'm evil) is when I came home and he'd gotten into a wasps nest.

Poor thing was swollen from head to toe.

rotten_egg's picture

I hate fugly fat hands with sausage short fingers.. and that asshole feeding that dog a burrito has them. Eww.. besides, I'm sure his fat fuck owner could eat that burrito faster. How do I know he's fat? well, he has fat hands and he's almost having a pulmonary arrest for bending over to feed the dog.

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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.

louise_brooks's picture

Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 4:35pm.

He too would fart, then quickly turn around looking like "WTF did that come from?"
````

My cat does that. Then she looks at me like, "Ewwww! Why did you do that??" Um...because I didn't?

M.E.'s picture

TITS - if you weren't careful, my dog would walk up to the table all "Laa teee daaa" and as soon as you looked away from your plate of food...POOF! He'd swipe it.

I had to start blocking off the kitchen at dinner time with the baby gate to keep him out.

chowgirl69's picture

Dallas,

On a serious note. You're right. Giving beans to dogs (especially BIG dogs) is dangerous. Their stomach can twist like a Cow's and they can die. It happened to our family dog when my mom fed him a big pot of leftover chili and he whimpered and cried all night and my mom said she kept yelling at him to shut up thinking he was just being a tard. She felt pretty shitty when she found him dead the next morning. :(

Yes, it's called bloat and it's very dangerous and can be fatal if not caught quickly. You are also not supposed to excercise your dog immediately before or after eating either as this can lead to bloat. I know that was a cute video but it never ceases to amaze me how stupid people are to feed dogs the shit they do. Sorry to hear about your family dog, that's sad.

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