The New Year's Eve DUIs Start Early
Charles Barkley and Doug from Trading Spaces did it all wrong. You're supposed to get arrested for DUI after midnight tonight and not earlier! Way to celebrate New Year's a little too soon. Idiots!
So, these two pair of shit brains were both busted for driving while having booze in the blood. Charles was caught early this morning in Arizona. TMZ says he was arrested on suspicion of drunk driving while going through a DUI checkpoint. The po po tested his blood at the checkpoint, busted his ass and then transported him to the jail house. He was released a little while later and nobody came to pick him up, because he took a taxi home. He probably went to the nearest bar.... Well, if you got arrested, wouldn't you need a drink afterwards? I would think so.
Then there's Doug Wilson from Trading Spaces. He was always my least favorite designer. The prick. Let's face it, his art is fugly. Hildy wouldn't pull this shit! Doug was popped early yesterday morning in Decatur, Illinois after he didn't slow down to a police car with its siren on. The cop pulled him over and killed the party. Doug must have also brought the party with him, because in addition to being arrested for aggravated DUI, he was also busted for illegal transportation of alcohol and driving on a suspended license. He was later released on $1,000 bond.
I'm a little surprised that Doug was busted for driving drunk and not sucking dick drunk in a public place. I bet Doug and Vern always licked each other's ass lips in the Trading Spaces wood shop van while Ty jacked to them.
You know, since I've been in California these past few days, I realized the main reason I live in NYC: CABS! CABS! CABS! You cannot booze to your heart's content here unless you rely on some other bitch driving you home. It's sad when you have to deny the alcohol at bars, because you know you don't want to be driving drunk. Saying no to the booze really hurts me where it counts. In NYC, you just have to worry about telling the cabbies where you live while you're wasted. That's why you should always carry your address around with you to give to cab drivers. Oh and you also have to worry about barfing in the back of their car. I've done that a couple of times and for some strange reason, they don't like it. Go figure.
Anydrunks, Happy New Year to Charles and Doug! Hopefully, they will spend their night getting tanked in the privacy of their own bathroom. And all of you should stay away from DUI checkpoints tonight. I hate those things! I get scared passing through them when I'm sober! I see a DUI checkpoint and I suddenly feel drunk and guilty even when I'm not. It's like church all over again. It sucks.
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My mother is from Decatur, I've been there once and totally understand the desire to get plowed off your ass. However, driving in that town should be strictly forbidden - drunk or not!
Gigi-Belle
missy,
That actually sounds like a ton of fun!!
Lizardbits,
Holy shit, you just nailed what movie to watch tonight! How could I have forgotten When Harry Met Sally? The ultimate New Years movie. Thanks, it will go perfect with the goat curry and champers!
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Mrs. K. squeezed my ass. I can die happy.
I've seen peeps who could barely walk leave the bar and drive away.
disgusting.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Doug Wilson is the hotness!! mmmmmmm
Submitted by Albatross on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 11:03am.
Song for you!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F44BcGjIbAA
(for those who like the song... listen to it... he's an asshole)
I think I remember Doug covering an entire wall with moss once and turning a room into a windowless train. Both times the owners were like, WTF???
Yeah. I'll be the designated driver for my husband tonight. Oh joy.
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Heath Ledger
4/4/79 - 1/22/08
I like Doug! Met hime once at the St. Louis airport .. I can't believe he was drunk in Decatur! There isn't anything to do there LOL He's from Champaign which is a college town ( U of I ) and MUCH better places to party at.
Shame on my Doug for driving drunk - send him my way for a proper spanking *grin*
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Ok who drank my Vodka! Dammit!
When Harry Met Sally with bf after nice Italian dinner... mmmm... sounds good. Especially because it's supposed to be colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra tonight. Screw that! I'll watch Dicky from home!
EEG, no Im totally with you. NYE is always a lot of hype, drunkeness and police activity. How is that appealing???
my friends and I made plans to see a cover band at a chinese restaurant. OH YEAH BABY!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
I've said this before, but you'd be utterly amazed at the number of people who after a few drinks, will walk out of a bar a drive away.
A song comes to mind. Everybody sing.
"Ebony and ivory drive together in perfect drunkery.
Side by side in the local jail cell, oh shit, why poor me."
Advice: Stay home on amateur night.
Good idea lizardbits1. *concocting plan now* lol
Doug and Charles should redecorate each other's cells.
And probably too late for these two asshats, but here's a little sumpin for the dlister who overindulges:
http://www.rupissed.com/hangovercures.html
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New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
Submitted by DeeDee on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 10:44am.
Use them to teach physics to any kid in the neighborhood! The bullet shot into the air will come down at about the same speed (allowing for air drag and other frictions). Put a head or two under said bullet and let the good times begin!
*breaks out Natty*
Stay safe tonight Dlisters. I plan on staying at home tonight. The hicks in my neck of the woods like to shoot guns in the air at midnight. *eye roll*
See if you're going to be celebrating New Years right!
http://www.snopes.com/holidays/newyears/beliefs.asp
There are so many different "laws" to go by... Happy No-cleaning-because-if-you-do-clean-you'll-have-bad-luck-for-the-rest-of-the-year Day!
hahah! it's so true...One time I was on my way back home to bk and was soo shitfaced in the cab crossing the williamsburg bridge...i started getting that spinning feeling but was convinced i could make it home! nope, i didn't i barfed in the back of the cab, he was sooo angry and i felt so horrible i kept saying "sooo saaaarrry!" LOL. I gave him all the cash I had...he still drove me home...
I also barfed on the L train once...I went to Splash with my friend and of course they had the 2 for 1 drinks, we only went there for that and the fact that my friend needed some eye candy...anyway we got so pissed the motion of the train got to me, there was no where to go....! LOL! he thought it was the funniest thing ever...once again i did my drunk motto "I'm sssooooo saaarrry"...anyway now that i'm older and more mature I just cry and wail "i'm sooooo drunk! ahhhhhh! I want to throw up but i caaaann't! heeellllp..." and then pass out...Tonight i'll be a bit better...a few bars...and of course my beloved Harefield...ahhhh! see you tomorrow!
_________________I <3 STEWIE!____________________
Submitted by EvilShoe on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 10:40am.
I predict WonkyEye's ass goiter makes an appearance.
"Mistletoe- n. A demon weed that causes ugly men to think they can force unwanted and awkward kisses upon a woman."
There is NO damn reason to drink and get behind the wheel of a car while, pressing the accelerator!
Ignorance!
Happy New Year everyone.............
Wait, is a DUI mugshot the new black?
"Mistletoe- n. A demon weed that causes ugly men to think they can force unwanted and awkward kisses upon a woman."
I'm calling dibs on Hohan getting trashed in public tonight.
Any other predictions?
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Dick happens! - MK
Snowy is clearly a bad influence on Doug. Time for an intervention.
I was going home (we lived in the same house, dirty minds...) one night with somebody who was really sick and we had to take a taxi in Indianapolis. The lady driving told us that if my friend barfed in the back seat it would be an automatic $50 charge. Those Hoosiers don't fuck around.
Hahaha! God knows how many times I've thrown up FROM a taxi seat. Luckily, I have good aim. I always manage to ask the driver to pull over and I aim out the door. One time a friend puked all over the cab seat and he was PISSED!
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Use goodsearch instead of google. Each time you search, you can donate money to your favorite charity without having to spend any money yourself! Spread the word.
I've no idea who these peeps are but I'm willing to bet my left boob that the white dude is a gayer.
Am I right?
What do I win?
missy,
Exactly why New Years has never interested me. All the crazies come crawling out of the woodwork and on to the roads. A movie, drinks and food at home where I feel safe is always enjoyable.
(wait did I just sound all prudish and party killing?) oops.
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Mrs. K. squeezed my ass. I can die happy.
The worst part of being out and about on New Year's Eve is the vomit dodging. Say you're on Bourbon St. You WILL be dodging vomit. I'm too old for that shit. Not fun.
"Just wondering but how many of you bitches acctually read the book? because Im thinkin not many of you have the brain spain too read...."
-Mrs.Hardin21 on Twilight
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 10:36am.
Damn! Is that a Young Black Teenagers reference?? The rap group from back in the day that was neither black nor teenage?? You's a hot slut for that one!
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Yes indeedy!
It's New Year's so let's pass the bottle and twist the cap.
Both these ass-hats can afford to hire a driver for the evening. And said drivers better get a good tip.
Submitted by Sayonara on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 10:30am.
It's New Year's so let's pass the bottle and twist the cap.
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Damn! Is that a Young Black Teenagers reference?? The rap group from back in the day that was neither black nor teenage?? You's a hot slut for that one!
"Just wondering but how many of you bitches acctually read the book? because Im thinkin not many of you have the brain spain too read...."
-Mrs.Hardin21 on Twilight
hahaha MK boston cabbies will drag your ass out of the backseat and onto the sidewalk if you puke! Even if you warn them and ask them to pull over!! assholes!
and yes, everyone please be safe tonight. just try and stay off the roads all together...
drunkeness + cops = BAD
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
What a stone cold BUMMAH!!!
MK, I feel ya...when my bff got a DUI (this was like 8 years ago or something stupid), the cops were taking me to the station to get someone to pick up my drunk ass, and I puked in the back of the squad car. They don't like it, either!
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Say hello to yo mutha for me.
"I see a DUI checkpoint and I suddenly feel drunk and guilty even when I'm not. It's like church all over again. It sucks."
AMEN - I don't even drink
Plenty of cab companies volunteer their cabbies to take drunks home, I know because I've done it. They don't charge, and they take you right home and even help you to your door. I know if we have that where I live to be sure there must be an equivalent service in California. Sheer stupidity.
"Mistletoe- n. A demon weed that causes ugly men to think they can force unwanted and awkward kisses upon a woman."
IS CHARLES BARKLEY WEARING LIPSTICK? BITCH LOOKS A LITTLE TOO COCK HAPPY.
It's New Year's so let's pass the bottle and twist the cap.
LOL me too!
IT'S SO FUCKING PATHETIC THAT THESE PIECES OF SHIT DRIVE HOME DRUNK, LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO TAKE A CAB. STUPID PIECES OF SHIT. DOUG NEEDS TO GET HIT OVER THE FACE WITH A CROWBAR, TRADING SPACES IS THE WORST SHOW POSSIBLE WITH THE UGLIEST ROOM CONCEPTS, IF SOMEONE DECORATED MY HOUSE LIKE THEY DID, I'D BLAST THEIR ASS WITH A .44 MAGNUM
And away we go... Please don't drink and drive!
It's New Year's so let's pass the bottle and twist the cap.