Yes, Diddy, That Really Is Joaquin Phoenix

No, Diddy, he hasn't been moisturizing the sexy. Joaquin hasn't even been bathing the sexy. Obviously.

Joaquin Phoenix said "Bye! Good" to Hollywood and hello to ass bush bugs, seven layer cheese dick and fly nests in his ears. This is what fucking happens when you snort too much bunk coke and drink too many random cocktails left on the bar. I just want to give him a can of RAID and some Hazmat-approved antibacterial soap, because you know there's baby roaches living in that beard.

That being said, I'd hit it with a clothespin on my nose. Well, his sparkly hair clip is fancy!

Here's Joaquin, Casey Affleck, Brett Ratner and Diddy at a douche convention in Miami two nights ago. I bet you Joaquin only talks in his own language, because he thinks the government can hear all his conversations.

StarTraks

Posted by: Michael K

•

Drunks • Fug

Submitted by paris herpes on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:14pm.

Either Joaquin is going through some shit or he is on a perpetual acid trip. He needs to lay off the drugs and get back to acting. He is far too old to be a lazy, drug addled musician. Leave that mess to Keith Richards (who probably will die a lazy, drug addled musician anyway). He has more roaches in his beard than Amy Wino EVER had in her crackhive!!

http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/

Submitted by Sugaroo on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:13pm.

Why does every single person in these pics look like a greasy kielbasa? And why the hell is Phoenix wearing a fucking SCRUNCHY?

Submitted by Biel-zee-bub on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:12pm.

Submitted by lillybun on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:11pm.
I feel bad for him. He's obviously going through some shit.
----------------------------
Yeah, it's called piles and piles of drugs.

"Mistletoe- n. A demon weed that causes ugly men to think they can force unwanted and awkward kisses upon a woman."

Submitted by OMG.WTF. on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:12pm.

Love it - totally. I'd still hit it. LOL

On a side note - isn't that one of those hair things your can buy off the infomercials that you can use a million different ways? Maybe he just couldn't figure it out.

Submitted by lizardbits1 on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:11pm.

I seriously think that he's doing to fuck with Diddy. I mean Diddy doesn't let shit happen near him... cue youtube rant in 3....2....

Submitted by Mr. President on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:11pm.

He obviously shouldn't have taken that vacation on the Island of Dr. Moreau.

**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."

Submitted by lillybun on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:11pm.

I feel bad for him. He's obviously going through some shit.

Submitted by Tamaraj on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:10pm.

Wow he's really creepy looking in the third photo. I can't believe I thought he was hot in Gladiator

He was hot in Gladiator. Hot in Walk the Line too. But now...I don't even know where to start with this fool. I think I can smell him through my computer screen..or my dog just farted..

Submitted by . on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:10pm.

LCT! :))))))))))! You brat! YOu beat us all to the avatar!

Submitted by soul on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:10pm.

the unibomber! and unibrow!eeeeeeeeeeeeeek
==!_!==
Eddy: Uh oh, it's my brother!
Edd: YOUR BROTHER?
Ed: YOUR BROTHER!

Submitted by Biel-zee-bub on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:10pm.

Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:08pm.
His hair net is pretty.
----------------------------
You mean his anti-large frog helmet.

"Mistletoe- n. A demon weed that causes ugly men to think they can force unwanted and awkward kisses upon a woman."

Submitted by WTF on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:10pm.

This is so sad and makes me want to cry.

Are his sisters blind????

Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:10pm.

I can't stop laughing at these pictures! Everyone looks so incredibly frightened to be standing near him!

God I love this crazy bag man.

Submitted by sfjuju on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:10pm.

Lord that poor man has some serious problems.I'm sure this last year has been rough on his family. But, he looks like he would be such a good dirty f**k!

Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:08pm.

His hair net is pretty.

Submitted by . on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:08pm.

Would it seem out of place if I calmly walked into my pantry and screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

WTF?

Submitted by Sugaroo on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:08pm.

Diddy: Tell me I didn't just smell his pubes.

Submitted by DeeDee on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:07pm.

What the fuckity fuck? What's going on with you man?

Joaquin has a serious case of Unibomber eyes in the first thumbnail.

Submitted by lizardbits1 on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:07pm.

somebody found the fun brownies at Diddy's partay!! Can you guess who it was?

Submitted by The C word on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:07pm.

He's the male version of Winehouse.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.

Submitted by missy on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:07pm.

drugs r bad, mmmmkay?
_____________________________________________

Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke

a message from the Church of the SubGenius

Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:06pm.

That is the most awesome picture EVER! Diddy looks scared, Joaquin looks crazy, and I can almost spot the frogs eating his brain.

Submitted by jaydawg on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 4:06pm.

Holy crap...wtf happened to Joaquin? He was always kinda strange but was borderline cute. Now he looks like a crazy homeless person. Diddy looks like he is signaling for security to escort the crazy out.