One Of The Spears Got Married!
I really should use only use old pictures of celebwhores, because they are usually wearing much hotter outfits than they wear now and the picture quality is always so impeccable. It also makes me think that there was a time when they were just like us! They got their picture taken at the Sears portrait studio too. You know what pisses me off about family portraits like this? Why the fuck do they always have one kid look one way and the other kid the other. They pulled that shit on me and I couldn't understand why my sister got to look at the camera, but I had to look at some lame ass puppet the photo assistant was holding. Did they want our picture to look like an ABBA cover or some shit? Because unfortunately it didn't. It made me look like I was a special needs child who was going blind in one eye. Well, I guess that wasn't too far from the truth....
Anyway, hopefully Brit Brit wore this outfit to her brother's wedding on New Year's Eve, because that shit is the look. Our Lady of Cheetos traveled to New Orleans with her mastah and her Cheetolings to watch her big brother Bryan get married to Jamie Lynn's manager Graciella Sanchez.
A Spears married a Sanchez?! I really hope Graciella's abuelita was there. When Brit Brit was riding high on the crazy train, she really needed an abuelita in her life to set her straight. An abuelita would've slapped her with all her rings on, beat her with a switch and then made her some menudo for her to eat while watching novellas. The bitch would have been fixed just like that. That's why I hope Graciella's abuelita was at the wedding to make sure Brit Brit keeps her chonies and weave on in the future.
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WONK!
I totally missed this. Freak me out.
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hey pulled that shit on me and I couldn't understand why my sister got to look at the camera, but I had to look at some lame ass puppet the photo assistant was holding
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Now that you mention it, I totally see/remember that
& sad that kids these days don't wear such dresses...that was half my closet in the early 90s..hopefully Suri brings it back to style
They are so happy, and I heard that they met each other on meetwealthy. com, now, I also met my Mr Right here. so, I feel so lucky. Good for you.
I feel bad for the girl he married. She has married into a bunch of inbred rednecks.
Ah, Michael, you are proof positive that you always are what your mother is - and in your case you're a Mex from way back, just like me. I agree that the Spears family is in desperate need of an abuelita - Daddy Spears just doesn't cut it, as valiantly as he tries. Also, the abuelita in question may well be Cuban or Puerto Rican, and while I still think she may apply the rings and switches to the Spearses, she might make them papas rellenas, Moros y Cristianos, arroz con pollo or cuchifritos instead of the menudo. The end result would be the same, though: DON'T FUCK WITH THE ABUELITAS!
Well congrats Graciella! Now that Jamie Lynn no longer has a career, you got yourself another good paying job. I'm sure Brit Brit's bro is on the payroll.
I can remember reading that her brother used to sunbathe with Brit Brit while she was topless. All sorts of weird to me.
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Bye! Good
They are all sorts of inbred!!! Holy Hatfields!
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...and I am praying for rain
praying for tidal waves...
Even more proof she isn't a natural blond.
She should stay her natural color.
I hate to admit it, but Britney looks pretty here. Of course, her eyes are still located on the sides of her head...
They could pass for Duggar spawn
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
This photo is allllllllllll kinds of *cue banjo music*
The little one there looks like one of the Olsen monkeys!
Ah, my abuelita just passed away a few weeks ago at the ripe old age of 97. *sniff*
Anyway, I get a weird child molester vibe from that picture for some reason....
Cool it's my favorite hillbilly family! I was jonesing for some Shitney news. We now know why poor little Britshit relies on photoshop :P
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
Submitted by putas on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:59am.
The Spears clan could also use an angry black lady to tell them what's up. They are funny, fierce and do not mince words. Tough love!
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Amen! Bitch could tell shitney when her weave is in a wonk and when to put a bra on.
"I don't go to your job and knock the dicks out of your mouth!"
- Kathy Griffin
Oh shit, I totally had that dress.
Hekki- she said that we should maintain ourselves first, never go out without our lipstick (she made it clear when we were older, not in junior high. She wasn't about the prostitot look...) That bit is more funny and not something I ended up heeding, ha ha.
She just told us mostly hilarious old school glam stuff. She also said we should never explain ourselves to the boys we liked and if they accepted us without us having to go out of our way, change stuff about ourselves only then were they worthy of dating us. She also told us a real man could understand women were complicated goddesses and not get scared off by anything they did/frustrated by them. Damn I miss her:)
I'm only some what ashamed to admit that I read Lynne Spears' book over the holidays. First off, there was nothing juicy in it AT ALL. Only 20 pages were semi interesting (they dealt with Sam Lutfi - mostly stuff that was already leaked).
Anyway, in the book Lynne talks about her wishes for each of her children. For Bryan, she wished he would meet a nice girl and settle down. The book was only written months ago so I'm guessing this was indeed a shotgun wedding.
sanchez? like dirty sanchez??
Apparently she's a little older than him, quite educated and owns her own talent company. He did quite well for himself considering his genes. He was always the non-crazy one. I think he actually worked on Zoey 101 as a producer. I guess he's kicking himself now for letting his baby sister get knocked up by an old guy on set.
What part of Jamie Lynn's career is she managing?
Damn, he is one ugly dude.
Whoopie....another Spears is going to procreate now....UGH!
Good morning dlisted whorey friends!! ;P
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All we are....is dust in the wind, dude.
-Ted "Theodore" Logan
Thank goodness Jaime and Lynn Spears can't birf anymore boo-boos.
Putas: Love it! What was her advice? Just curious...
All the Spears spawn have giant, inbred Dumbo ears.
Fug beyond all reason.
Britney before the skank set in, sweet.
~♥~I love you, I love you
Whats wrong with saying it the easy way?
I love you, I love you
Whats wrong with saying it the easy way?~♥~
hey putas!
yeah, it was a person defending Paris Hilton's intelligence. too fucking funny.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally :got an excuse for Port-au-Prince? Can you even tell me where it is without Googling it?
Submitted by carebearloves on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 5:46pm.
its a person from france.
Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:32am.
Was the bride knocked up?
That's no reason to marry! Look at Jamie Lynn! Damn, the only way to recognize Shitney is the wonk eye. Everything else is very different.
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
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Submitted by jussayin on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:07am.
You would have them ship shape in a week I'll bet.
I feel a tv pilot..it would be so much fun to watch.
Ok no., I just saw PSL's tagline and someone told you Port-Au-Prince is a person from France? HA HA HA.
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you dumb dumb trolls!
xox
The Spears clan could also use an angry black lady to tell them what's up. They are funny, fierce and do not mince words. Tough love!
...I'll accept that job for a nominal fee
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"Hasta la bye bye!"
Hekki- that's so cute! Everyone deserves to experience an abuelita even by proxy.
One of my best friends in junior high was Brazilian. Insane parties, all families went, all ages - kids got no sitter they all came along- but it worked.They had their area and played and the adults got their party going. All safe and not out of hand but still fun.
Anyway my friend's mom was named 'Helena' and she was amazing. Bright red lipstick, loudest laugh ever,turban on her head all the time at home, 'house coat' and expensive looking marabou mules. She didn't give a damn. She gave hilarious but good advice re: boys and some of it i remember still. She reminded me a lot of Carmen Miranda in her style.
Anyway I would secretly be pissed when she wasn't home when I was over there as she was such a riot.
Sucio!
Those garish colors give me a migraine. Shitney looks like Raggedy Ann.
Maybe Ms. Sanchez-Spears can bring some Latin fire into this hillbilly nightmare and keep some of them in line; so much the better.
If this is one Spears we don't hear about, count your blessings. We hear enough about the other ones.
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You better watch out, you better not cry.
nah, Britney hasn't had any plastic surgery.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally :got an excuse for Port-au-Prince? Can you even tell me where it is without Googling it?
Submitted by carebearloves on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 5:46pm.
its a person from france.
Mysmichelle on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:50am.
Nope, I know all type of stuff that's completely random and pointless...just means we have character.
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"We do not gnaw on our kitties"
Dr. Evil
I had an abuelita (dad's side) - we're kind of an ethnic mutt family- and she was vicious but I loved her. She drove around in a giant Caprice Classic and would yield to no one. Never hit anyone but I'm sure she caused lots of people to lose their shit in traffic. Giant glasses, lips moving when she drove (no sound) as if doing one of her daily novenas. She was a Queen! I agree MK they are a different breed.
The Spears clan could also use an angry black lady to tell them what's up. They are funny, fierce and do not mince words. Tough love!
COngrats to the couple I guess... hope Ms. Sanchez has more sanity than the rest of her new fambly!
And um, why does Britney look kinda old in this picture? Some benjamin button kind of shit happening.
Not sure what Jamie Lynn needs a manager for at this point. Maybe to help manage more babies.
Submitted by birdie: "I wish I could have an abuelita in my life. It seems like abuelitas always make things better."
Me too. My friend's mother is like my abuelita, but I would never tell my friend or her mother that. She used to cook me Cuban food and grill me about my boyfriend and give me aspirin dissolved in orange juice if I had a headache and loved that I knew the Spanish word for "Irish". She is short and bossy with humungous boobs. LOVE HER!
maybe sanchez's abeullita will take over for papa spears now.
MK...Abuelitas? Menudo?!?!?!
Novelas? Are you spying on me????
Please say you are.
Silvara - Brian, Britney's brother is involved in the conservatorship, he manages Britney's money I think. Gawd its sad that I know that.
I wish I could have an abuelita in my life. It seems like abuelitas always make things better.
Am I the only one who thinks it's strange we don't hear much about this "brother"? Why, now? Do I dare to say that he is somewhat normal?
* lauphing deviously to self because I am completely full of shiot*
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"We do not gnaw on our kitties"
Dr. Evil
MK, funny and accurate description of the portrait studios!! We need a picture of Graciella. There must be one out there somewhere with Jamie Lynn on set of "Zoey 101" - no?
there's a spears marriage and it wasn't a shotgun wedding? i'm confused...
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certified to knock dicks outta mouths...
If they have a babeh boy, they could name him Dirty Harry Sanchez.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Incest is best!
So the brother married the sister's manager? Boy, that family likes to keep things close to home.
Dang I never realized Britney's hair was naturally so dark. Makes sense though since both of her parents have dark hair.