Friday, January 2nd 2009
The Photoshop Awards: Kelly Clarkson's Single Cover
Yeah, this is Kelly Clarkson's new single cover and not Kate Hudson on the cover of some 1970s soft-core porn movie. If Kelly wanted her single cover all shiny-like, she should have just spent 5-minutes to make some shit using Blinggee. It would've looked better and she could have put a little sparkly "Sexy Mami" stamp in the corner.
And it's illegal of Kelly to make a delicious lollipop look so not-delicious. It doesn't even look edible! It looks like a crotch lolly! The kind of lolly that's meant to be sucked by your other mouth.
VIA ONTD



What do they do when people come to her concerts and see the real fat Kelly? Do they issue refunds?
I think the quotation marks were to imply that most of the people in the music world today can't sing...
Kelly Clarkson has got a phenomenal voice. You can say what you want about her face and weight. That heifer has some pipes.
It's stupid to say that just because she won a singing contest that she's not a singer.
Submitted by Mr. President on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 7:12pm.
Unlike most of the "singers" out there these days, Kelly ...
--------
May i assume the quotation marks on "singer" mean, you do know that she is not an actual singer, but just some stupid winner of one of these stupid tv karaoke contests, desperately looking to be mistaken for an actual singer.
She is so attractive and I have seen her on Meetwealthy. com,I also met many Sexy, Curvy, Classy Women, open minded rich couples, hot rich guys, nice wealthy admirers, even some celebs.
I like her.
I adore you, Datura.... SPEND MORE TIME ON HERE
XOXOX
I saw her in the Bahamas a few years back. She is oddly shaped and not too easy on the eyes.
she needs photoshop
she's never looked that good
www.thatshideous.com
Photoshop can make Charlize Theron look like Charlize Theron.
if they hadn't put her name in that banner across the top, i'd have NO idea who this was. sad.
who is this person?
_____________________________________________
certified in knocking dicks outta mouths...
It looks like she is looking at my left shoulder instead of looking forward, weird. And I thought Carrie Underwood's eyes were blue until someone here made me go back and read the top.
I've never heard of a crotch lolly before... Do they come in sour apple?
“I ejaculate boiling venom, so I’d need to wear like fifty condoms.”
WOW Photoshop HELL! There's no way her face looks that matte either, and the lollipop looks like a fuckin' CGI of a crotch lollipop too : ) !!!!
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
I believe Vadge has been there, done that with the whole sticky & sweet thing.
Bleh. Bo-ring.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He has seriously gone off the reservation.--callan
She is certainly talented, but she sings stoopit songs.
Unlike most of the "singers" out there these days, Kelly has some real talent. Hope she does well with he new album. Is she a lesbian? Not that there's anything wrong with that.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Such a fail. Cover fail. Face fail. TITLE fail. Gawd, I thought she was better than that.
Her top half of face looks like that chick...Erika Christensen. Which is not a put down, it's a compliment.
I would like to try that lipstick, but with WINE stained teeth...I dunno, wouldn't look as good. lol.
Ha! So much for integrity! LOL!
♥ ThreadKilla!
My Favourite DListed Things!
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
AHAHAHAHA...This is soooo shiny,Fransesco Scavullo, 1970's, Kissing Potion lipgloss,Oui Magazine at its best...go Clarkson.
She was trying so hard not to sell out.
This shit looks like a cover girl ad
:(
George Carlin went to Heaven and left us with Dane Cook here in Hell
****
Michael Phelps’ heart pumps twice as much blood as the average human’s heart.Blood made of the failed Olympic dreams of everyone that has raced against him.
FAIL! It doesn't even LOOK like her.
~♥~I love you, I love you
Whats wrong with saying it the easy way?
I love you, I love you
Whats wrong with saying it the easy way?~♥~
I don't mind her, she's got a great voice and she actually has a career unlike the rest of the AI winners (with the exception of Carrie Underwood). Although the only song I know if hers is Miss Independent, so what do I know. But she looks barely recognizable here.
I still say Britney Spears' cover is worse.
I love her, but this pic is ungood. The title? Also ungood.
********
Heath Ledger
4/4/79 - 1/22/08
Kelly is actually a very talented singer, a refreshing change nowadays. I hope she sells a million albums.
Creemy, hi! I am still trying to put together my electic fireplace that I f'd up last night. I will always be happy to share. Did you catch the follow up to the beating in last eve's thread?
On Topic- While this Clarkson photo is ridic, I will give her credit for being one of the more continually successful idol winners.
The Lolita thing has been done to death...give it a rest.
Photoshop can transform the Bride of Frankenstein into Charlize Theron.
It's powers are limitless.
She looks bad in this photo ...kinda trannyish.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Did they morph some of Carrie Underwoods features onto her?
She doesn't have to look good, she can actually sing!
"Suicide hotline, please hold"
I like Kelly Clarkson, I hope she has better luck with this than the last one.
I still love "Walk Away"....
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Love her! Think she's got an amazing voice, that she'll probably lose if she continues to scream her songs in concert. I really, actually do love her.
--------------------------------------
"Her voice sounds like a goat in heat..." - Balenciaga Bitch on Sarah Palin (10/6/08).
and I thought Jennifer Hudson's skinny album cover looked fake?
it's pretty but it ain't her. Hope the song is better than its title!
***********************************************
"Hasta la bye bye!"
What's with the sparkle treatment?
Geebuz. Bitch is bedazzled beyond recognition!
I love Kelly. Very talented... and at least the girl can SING live!
About that picture -- it's AWFUL. At least it's just a single. Looks like she's back to more of a pop sound instead of the rock she tried to do last time.
She gained some weight too, looks like? Either way -- really like her.
The pic looks really good. Its too bad because thats the face of an entirely different person.
"I don't go to your job and knock the dicks out of your mouth!"
- Kathy Griffin
I thought she had told all the record label douchelords to fuck off? What then, pray tell, is the excuse for this fuckery?
-Fuck you with something hard and sandpapery-
I like Kelly too. She's real. She didn't bend to what the industry felt she should do. Takes guts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
I have to say that it is not a bad picture.. I think she looks good again! :)
Oops, it IS the single. The title's just fine then.
I like Kelly and I hope this is good......and doesn't suck
I think this is the SINGLE off her new album. Maybe?
Either way, I love this bitch. She stays locked away in the South West until she has some great music to promote. No B.S. from her unlike other dipshit musicians.
Lolita Not So Much
I think she looks good.
My life would suck less without fake fuckery shit like this to gawk at!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
Who the fuck is that bitch on the cover? It sure the hell aint Kelly Clarkson!
People using photoshop need to learn how to make shit look believeable.
I think she looks fine. But yeah that tittle isn't working, not even in a cheesy ironic way.
----------------------------------
We worship a dancing peanut for corn’s sake!
Where is Devilgirl and her wild stories. I need to know about the roommate while he lived with you.