Rock Of Love Bus: This Shit Is A Mess
I knew the first episode of Rock of Love Bus would make me feel like I needed Jesus in my life, but this shit exceeded my expectations. What...the fuck? After watching it, my saliva tasted like Boones-Farm-infused vomit, my crotch started itching like vag warts were starting to grow in and I had to look down at myself to make sure extra-large Hefty bags filled with melted down plastic weren't taking up space in my chest area. Seriously, it felt like the high level of skankness on the TV screen exploded all over me. I had to ask God to forgive me for my sins. During next week's episode, I'm going to wear a dental dam over my nose and mouth to protect myself.
I wish I had one last night while watching the moment above. Now, I consider myself highly knowledgeable when it comes to all things whorish, but this shit even blew my mind. Nikki, the ladyboy muppet, was "freakin' horny" so she decided to do a Buttery Nipple shot out of Gia's pussy right on the bar in front of everyone! I bet it tasted like an oatmeal cookie, because you know that dirty bitch Gia had yeast infection leakage.
Nikki is taking the whole "nasty slut with no self-respect" thing to levels beyond my imagination. She truly is my idol. Unfortunately, the only open vagina Vh1 is allowed to show is Bret Michaels' face, so they had to censor the whole amazing moment. And that bitch Heather falling on her ass at the end completes the clip.
It wouldn't be a Rock of Love episode without a good skankfight! This one below comes courtesy of the Brazilian drunk Marcia and the Juliette Lewis wannabe Ashley. It all started when Ashley made fun of Marcia's accent on the bus. When Marcia got a few gallons of tequila in her, she got revenge by throwing chips at Ashley and then choking her chicken neck! And Ashley totally fucking screams like a damn chicken getting finger fucked. I don't blame Marcia. I would've done that long before, because Ashley's voice is so damn irritating. She sounds like she's talking with a dick stuck in the side of her mouth. Open your mouth, bitch!
Even though that whole episode made me cleans out my genitals with OxiClean (and I mean that as a compliment), I'm still mad that they got rid of Nikki so soon. I mean, the ho did a shot out of another chick's coochie in the first episode! She would've been mixing martinis in her own poon by episode 3! Extra dirty with two crotch olives. Aw. What could've been....
Yeah...I was actually entertained by Rock of Love 1 & 2, but this is too fucking ridiculous.
How the fuck isn't it a red flag that he evidently needs to drag his girlfriend everywhere he goes when he's touring? Does he lack that much fucking self-control?
Well, I've got an idea, Bret Michaels. If you can't take the heat, get out of the damn kitchen. By heat, I mean not needing fucking supervision by your girlfriend at all times.
If Bret Michaels really wanted to find love, he would try to make it work. None of this "But I'm on tour!" bullshit. Alice Cooper and Dee Snider, who are still pretty active fucking musicians, don't need their wives to go on tour with them because of this thing called *gasp* are you ready fro this? Trust!
I don't feel sympathy for these idiot men who only long for the skank types and whine about how they can't find true love one failed relationship after another. On the other hand, Bret Michaels is obviously the type of guy who always chooses the vulnerable domestic type, doesn't pay attention to her, and jacks off to porn and fucks strippers all the time because he dates them for security and needs to feel better about himself.
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It puts the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again.
This is the best thing on TV in a LONG time!!!
I am beside myself through the ENTIRE show. My god, this will be one DVD season to own- I can't even Imagine uncensored and deleted scenes?? It would have to be a combination of a Pap Smear and Enema!!
"Come on Gloria..."
-Hank Azaria "The Birdcage"
hazmat, hazmat, HAZMAT!! every piece of trash that comes outta that bus should be put in a biohazard trash bag. including the girls.
now, can someone tell me more about these buttery nipple shots?
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I dont think, I drink.
I watched it and thought it was great,so white trash..I loved it.
I was pretty sure Nikki was getting the ax after the herpes song sheet thing,Brett's face was priceless.
That Gia was too skanky even for him,I was surprised that he voted off all the major skanks and actually seemed offended by their actions.I think Michael's is actually pretty awesome now.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
hah! i'm doing a two-er post!
Submitted by Stick Stickly on Mon, 01/05/2009 - 11:03pm.
Seriously.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Mon, 01/05/2009 - 10:56pm.
All hail the decline of western civilization.
we shall, eventually...
i wonder if there will be a oh he is bi sorta thing next..tbh, i've only ever caught a glimpse (how funky elf dirty whore does that word sound!)
of that first rock show thingy while actually thinking they played music on mtv...
aaaaaaaaargh now i know and i'm none the wiser
Hubby and I watched it last night and it was a hot trailer trash mess. Nothing but diseases incubating and ready to be spread. All I know is I had a nightmare about those trailer trash. I can't watch this mess anymore. LOL @ Sticky Stickly, hubby said the same thing you posted.
Submitted by Stick Stickly on Mon, 01/05/2009 - 11:03pm.
Seriously.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Mon, 01/05/2009 - 10:56pm.
All hail the decline of western civilization.
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Inauguration day January 20, 2009. President Obama!
his hair looks so much looked after thsn theirs.
whata bunch of whores! i don't even know why he has a show,but i guess they all (anybody)do now. that is the ughs....ugh
Seriously.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Mon, 01/05/2009 - 10:56pm.
All hail the decline of western civilization.
I like trashy reality television, but I couldn't watch the entire episode.
All hail the decline of western civilization.
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Submitted by Bunny Blake Is Dead on Mon, 01/05/2009 - 6:13pm.
I wondered why they kept blurring out her hand.
okay..... everyone saw nikki had those vaginal disease papers... and then that nasty bitch gia had a shot taken out of her vagina BY nikki... you know vaginal diseases don't just stay in the vagina... they can go to other places. that crazy bitch gia needs to get her ass checked.
if someone had vaginal disease and i knew, that bitch would need to be as far away from me as possible... i don't want to even breath the same air. shit, so nasty.
those bitches were crazy as shit, i love it!!
xoxo
l.danielle
AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAA
that slip n fall was CLASSIC
for the record **TEAM MARCIA**
LOL
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
The first and largest dating site for Cougars and Young Men ... www.SugarMommyMatch.com ... where cougars and young men seeking love! That's cool!
Submitted by TexnDoc on Mon, 01/05/2009 - 8:26pm.
LOL. My dog gave me side-eye for laughing so hard out of no where. But then again this whole post is all shades of hilarity.
Drinking, "bitch" "Ho" "slut" , cat-fighting has been done to the point of boredom. But I could watch falling on your ass on the stairs in high-heels and a tight skirt for hours.
Do any of you know of an online TV show link site with this episode??? They aren't playing it in Canada yet and I need my trashy muppet fix!
oops, i´m sorry for the extra posts. don´t know what happened.
xoxo
**whatever**
"you do not waste alcohol like that. that´s not cool". NOW, i´m proud of being brazilian... thank you for that, marcia. bitch!
**whatever**
"you do not waste alcohol like that. that´s not cool". NOW, i´m proud of being brazilian... thank you for that, marcia. bitch!
**whatever**
"you do not waste alcohol like that. that´s not cool". NOW, i´m proud of being brazilian... thank you for that, marcia. bitch!
**whatever**
i fuckin love this marcia bitch!! i love that her issue was the waste of alcohol, not that it was poured on her. pure gold lmao
@ sandy--
back in the day I had a 12 pound bag phone nearly as large as a phone book.
What exactly are you fessing up to here??
Submitted by Sandbitch on Mon, 01/05/2009 - 5:47pm.
Back in the day when I was game for a dare... I bet a friend that I could put his *brand new* cell phone in my bagoina...
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He has seriously gone off the reservation.--callan
Ah, but you must have fallen in love with Marcia for 'splaining you dont waste alcohol like that.
That was a great bitch slappin' catfight. Flying Fritos, beer, and strangulation.
Submitted by Emeriesan on Mon, 01/05/2009 - 6:37pm.
If they put Pete on this show television would forever be useless because there is no way anyone could ever, ever, ever top that. He lost his shit hourly with Jodie Marsh and Traci Bingham. I would give anything to see him on this bus for one night.
"I love my tail in these jeans!"
Lady Tribe is a busted ass wanna be graffiti writer. My husband told me everyone has said she has aids for years.
If Paris Hilton had been born without money, she'd be just like that girl who got choked.
They should totally throw Pete Burns in there to sort these women out! does anyone remember him from Celebrity Big Brother (UK)? he really can tear asses off.
Seriously, this shit isnt too different from America's Next Top Model. Only less afro-centred.
Well I just watched both vids with the sound off, and I think it's just as well. The females are such stank hos that I can't look at them much.
I choose to focus on Brett Michaels. First, he's wearing as much eye make-up as the hos.
When he's out with the hos, he looks all doughy and pale. When he's posing in front of the gold records, they have him contoured to hell and back with soft focus. Poison sucked, BTW.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS SKANKY, CUM GUZZLING, TACKY, FAKE ASS BITCHES!!
I'm soo fuckin pissed I don't have cable anymore
=[
Seriously, every tv channel should look like that!
Did anyone notice that it looks like Mikki the Muppet has "Fuck You" tattoed on her knuckles? When she sat down and cried at elimination they kept pixilating her right knuckles...but you could still see the "You" on her left. What a piece of trash! They need to give this girl her own series.
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I want totally sensory deprivation, and back-up drugs!
That's why I posted a pic of the model. LOL.
http://blinkfirst.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/old-cell.jpg
Submitted by Sandbitch on Mon, 01/05/2009 - 5:47pm.
Back in the day when I was game for a dare... I bet a friend that I could put his *brand new* cell phone in my bagoina...
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Back in the day?? like in 93' or 03' cuz theres a BIIIIGGGG difference in cell phone size between the two years
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I want to rip his nuts off with my teefs, filet his penis, cook it up and feed it to him with freshly squeezed nut sauce on top! ARGGGHH!
You think a guy would let me fill up his peen hole with alcohol so I could do a peen shot outta it??? When I get on tv, thats what im gonna do....a peen shot with crustyed up, dick faced bret micheals!!!
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I want to rip his nuts off with my teefs, filet his penis, cook it up and feed it to him with freshly squeezed nut sauce on top! ARGGGHH!
Back in the day when I was game for a dare... I bet a friend that I could put his *brand new* cell phone in my bagoina...
I have been known in close personal circles as "THE TARDIS" ever since.
http://blinkfirst.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/old-cell.jpg
WHY THE EFF DID MK TELL WHO ELIMINATED?????
I wanted to watch that sh*t, but now I dont know if its worth it....
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I want to rip his nuts off with my teefs, filet his penis, cook it up and feed it to him with freshly squeezed nut sauce on top! ARGGGHH!
kisses@everyone!
My puter fainted!!!
Can you blame it?
♥ ThreadKilla!
Five Famous People I Would Invite To Dinner
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Please, you know all those bitches who were saying it was disgusting were just jealous they didn't think of something as whorish.
When those girls walked out of the room, they were sulking.
Heretofore, you should refer to this show as "Rock of Love Bus[ted]." Becuase those bitches soooo are.
A Hot B more Bitch
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 01/05/2009 - 5:19pm.
Let's face it, Hek. She has unfathomable skilz. like the melon masher.
We're just mere mortals.
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He has seriously gone off the reservation.--callan
My favorite was when the Daisy lookalike from Rock of love 1 sang Bret a song from her Herpes test result!!!! I was cracking up. You couldn't make this stuff up!
omg - the former porno chick is seriously pathetic. she has ZERO self-esteem! lord, have mercy!
i can't believe he got rid of the two nastiest chicks on the show! why, bret, why?
I just watched the whole episode on VH1.com and I almost didn't make it through the whole episode. All I could think of was how Mary Anne on Gilligan's Island and Jeannie on I Dream of Jeannie weren't allowed to show their belly buttons. Damn, we've come a long, long way.
My favorite is the Penthouse girl. As she said herself, she's the classiest one in the house.
Was she doing a headstand, because if she was just lying horizontally on the bar, wouldn't a lot of the shot have spilled? I'm just trying to understand the logistics of this rude fuckery.
Can't these women think of a way to get some positive attention?
New York who???
This is what Over The Top GLAMOUR is all about!!!
Luv the Girls!!!
Nikki is a breath of fresh air with that sexy and fiery red swimsuit at the elimination night...Glam personified!
Ms Brazil is amazing, now that Nikki is gone, Marcia is my next icon of sophistication and lady-like, provided she has a bottle of Tequila 24/7
and last but not the least....A True Independent Woman ..... Brittnea (?) Brit will do everything for a man, even turning into a lesbian, just promise to keep her.....
when I thought Heather, Laci and Ms Frenchie herself, Angeliqiue are on a league of their own, comes these new batch of Classy Ladies brimming with elegance and sophistication..........
PS:
Can Shauna Sand even cut it as Rock Of Love Bus material?
New show- "Whores Gone Wild"
Someone call Joe Francis!
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"Money is the magic wand that turns many a frog into a prince" - ChubbyWubby
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@snowy--
Since we were not in rehab together, please fill me in(so to speak).
Was the pineapple cored?
Had the ouchy scales been removed?
Was it a baby pineapple or a Don Ho choker?
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 01/05/2009 - 4:47pm.
"AAh put that Pineapple in mah PUSSy!
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He has seriously gone off the reservation.--callan
Submitted by Brittny on Mon, 01/05/2009 - 5:01pm.
lol at every part of your post, from avie to comment to sig :D
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