There's A Frozen Peen In The Sky!
Don't you just love public humiliation when it doesn't happen to you? It's truly what makes the world go round.
This story about a bitch caught with his ski pants down comes to us from Vail, Colorado. The dude froze his ass off this past Friday when he was riding on a chairlift at a resort with his kid. The Smoking Gun says the lift's seat wasn't lowered, so the skier fell through a gap in the chair. Luckily for the dude, his ski got caught in the lift, saving him from falling into the snow. Actually, maybe it would have been less embarrassing for him if he fell and broke his arm or some shit, because while his body was stuck, his pants and chonies came down. And the world laughed while his peen tried to hold back the tears. It knew that if it cried, its mouth would freeze shut.
The accidental ski flasher hung (trust me, there's no pun there) there for 15-minutes while waiting for help. Workers finally reversed the lift and got him out of the seat. It took 15-minutes because they were too busy cleaning the piss off their pants from laughing so hard.
Getting a case of frostbitten dick, nuts and nalgas might be worth it, because you know this bitch is going to sue the pants (GONG!) off of the bitch responsible for this
TSG has one more picture taken by a witness. I would so be that bitch who took pictures while that sad man dangled pantyless from the sky. Say "icicle dick!"
Thanks Mary
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Aint you supposed to say....
"I'd hit that!" ?
ISMU, I had a bf pass out and piss my bed.....but that is his embarrassing story....lol
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Submitted by parissucksliterally :got an excuse for Port-au-Prince? Can you even tell me where it is without Googling it?
Submitted by carebearloves on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 5:46pm.
its a person from france.
this is one of the best headlines MK has ever written.
Also, I sincerely hope the children of the world are reading these comments today - there are many valuable life lessons here.....
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 12:26pm.
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Nice! I period-ed all over my husband's bed the first time we did naughties. And I woke up in the morning to him in the bathroom with his laundry soap, trying to scrub it out by hand. Totally hot.
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Oh, I sincerely hope that is my ex husband.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
Snowie me too! Ever been to Ricon de Guayabitos? It so beautiful and way less crowded
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Christmas is over :(
Shaniquanaynay on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 12:13pm.
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I seriously just laughed so hard at your story that I made myself cough. BWAHAHAHA!!!
Submitted by Zappy on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 12:23pm.
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Then here's one for ya- I used to work for the company that makes those Invisalign braces and we had a party after work. I overdrank and got all kinds of sick in the bathroom. My boss came in to check on me once and then forgot about me until someone told the staff I was in there hugging the toilet. I got myself, my boss and the frickin' VP of Manufacturing kicked the hell out of Bennigan's for being drunk in public. And I threw up fish and chips in the parking lot on the way out in front of both of them.
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Uvula - Aw hon. That is ok. What I left out of my story is what happened AFTER the bars.
Friends wanted to sober me up, so we went and scored an 8 ball.
While giving my friend with benefits a BJ, I went down a little to far and barfed all over him.
I can't believe he forgave me for that.
Actually the most recent embarrasing thing was this christmas. We where on the way home from a family thing in my dads work car and I was beyond drunk I had drunk a whole bottle of Jagermeister and a whole bottle of Peach Vodka... I felt ok but then suddenly I projectile vommited all over the dash, all over myself and all over important work papers my dad had to mail away... I then proceeded to clean it but I past out on the vaccum cleaner halfway through in the front yard.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 12:18pm.
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I did that in a MacDonald's drive thru. :D
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I want to put on my my my my my boogie shoes.
@Uvula I love vomit stories! What saddens me about them, is that we cannot tell our children about all the fun times basking in vomitous behavior.
Miss Priss, yes, all better now. Thankfully no scar.
Krazy Glue works wonders.
LMAO @ IG's story
Mrs. G I looooooooooooooove Vallarta!
****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"thats my favorite bible saying bitch!"
That is f**king hysterical!! Made my day.
Along the lines of M.E.'s birthday story, on my 21st I had six double shot drinks in 45 minutes. While being walked back to the car, I told a bunch of people they were ugly, then begged my friend to drive to Jack in the Box for snacks. When we got there, I pushed the door of the car open, leaned out, barfed, then fell out of the car with my right arm still stuck all up in the seat belt and hovered there with my face dangling in my own puke.
The establishment has since been known as Yack in the Lot.
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I'm getting flashbacks to 1973 when my b/f was going in the Marines. Him and his friend went in the service on the 'buddy plan' and there was this big drunken/stoner party. We went outside in the backseat of someones car to do the nasty. He was getting his going away poon-tang and unknown to me, others came outside to smoke some chit. They sat on the car and it began to bounce. It wasn't me (he wasn't that good). I found out twenty years later there were five people watching.
My ass was exposed. Whatevuh. I walk with my head held high and no one would recognize my ass anymore anyway..pfft.
Mrs. G
LMAO!!!
M.E, is your brow better now? Awwww!!! LOL
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
LMAO I hope the witness who took pics realizes he's going to hell.
Submitted by Miss Priss on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 12:10pm.
hahahahhahahahaha ..shit like that happens to me all the time...like a month ago my instructor was teaching us about molecules or something but he referred to them as the blue balls..being the immature person that I am later on I was with a guy from my class going he said BLUE BALLS all loud with a dramatic voice and hand gestures and my instructor was standing there the WHOLE time the guy didnt tell me it was so embarrasing
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Christmas is over :(
Most recent embarassing moment - Three weekends before Christmas, it was 9am, the hub and I were heading out to drop the kids off at grandma's so we could go Christmas shopping. First though, a stop at the grocery store, for a quick run in to see if they had the canned food drive bin near the enterence. Hub pulls up to the curb, I run out, run in the automatic door, still standing in the door way, I am looking down the main isle for it. I didn't see it, so I quickly turn around to go back out the "in" door. It was partially closed and I smacked my fucking face right into it.
Trying to act like it didn't hurt, I ran around to the other door, adjusted my sunglasses and got in the car. Hub laughed and told me I was a retard from romper room. Then we stopped at the bank, when he went in I pulled up my glasses and put my hand on my right brow, cuz it hurt like a SOB.
I had busted my brow open. I was bleeding all down my face.
Sweet.
Not to mention, that night was the hubs xmas party, and I had to show up with a busted brown and a slight black eye.
DORK!
ok I was in school, on those hard plastic seats. The class was really quiet. I felt a fart coming on and I tried really hard to hold it in. Well, my belly began to rumble and I thought that I could just push it out slowly and quietly. A guy that had a crush on me was sitting right next to me. Well this fart seemed to be the loudest, longest thing I've ever experienced. I was mortified. Everyone knew it was me, I got up and left the room.
I hope he has shrinkage, or he should be embarrassed. Except for having a nice bare rear.
bwahahah you guys have so seriously embarrassing stories up in here!!! LMAO
This one is embarrassing too.
When I was in 11th grade, I had a couple of friends over, we were in the living room watching movies, I grabbed a banana and goofing around I started "sucking it" like a dick. My dad was standing there the whole time. I wanted to die. My friends still talk about that. Those bitches didn't even warn me! They were just LOL and shit
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
Ooo, I think I am just good at avoiding potentially embarrassing things.
Like this summer I went tubing on the lake and when I fell off the tub, but suit bottoms came down, but I managed to catch them with my feet before it was lost at sea and pull them up before anyone but the fishies could be mooned.
Other than that, i just say stupid stuff all the time. Like "will you go lay some ice" when I mean salt, to melt the ice.
Most embarrassing moment: Getting Aunt Flo while having sexy times with a one night stand.
God doesn't really like us women, does he?!
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Mrs. K. squeezed my ass. I can die happy.
And this one time in grade school I was hanging out in the library in this woman's office waiting for my mom to pick me up and decided it was the perfect time to practice typing my name over and over again on her computer keyboard. Unfortunately it was ON and the monitor was just turned off, and when she got to work the next morning my name was written over 500 times in a row when she turned on the monitor. (this was before windows, folks)
People kept calling me "stoneystoneystoneystoneystoneystoneystoney" for like, two years. Actually, my cousin still does it.
I must be in denile, I cant think of anything like that ever happening to me.
Now, I am afraid after saying that - something will happen tomorrow.
Submitted by Clarisse on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 12:00pm.
The C Word!
I got my little friend while I was test driving new cars!!! I think that is why they put plastic on the seats now!!!
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Ugh!
If it makes you feel any better, my then boyfriend picked me up and I ruined his front seat....
Fast forward some 20 years where I run into him and his wife and he proceeds to relay that little ditty in front of her, at which point I thanked him for reminding me why I broke up with him.
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I want to put on my my my my my boogie shoes.
Not to get technical, but his pants didn't fall down. He fell down out of his pants. Whatev, it sucks being him.
Most embarassing moment
I was out playing w/ all the neighborhood kids. I had to pee, but didn't want to go home. So, I peed on the monkey bars and blamed the rain the night b4.
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She's flat and that's that!
Oh God. My embarrassing moment for me was when I was in a dance contest in school and I was supposed to dip backward and my partner did not catch me and I fell in front of the whole 6 grade class.
Oh God..
AT least i'm not the fat ass on the ski slopes.
hahahahahahhahaahahaha
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Pretty looks fade...dumb is forever -- Judge Judy
Damn, that's messed up. LOL!
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Heath Ledger
4/4/79 - 1/22/08
The C Word!
I got my little friend while I was test driving new cars!!! I think that is why they put plastic on the seats now!!!
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... so I threw my breasts out of the window of my Lamborghini!
My most embarrasing....
We awere at Puerto Vallarta on a family trip and we decided to take a day cruise to a local Island well to get off the boat you need to get on a little raft that will take you to land....as the day ended and we were ready to go back on boat I decided to wash out my flip flops...and somehow it got lost in a wave and im runnig after it when out when out of nowhere a giant freaking wave comes and nearly drowns me! I was so humiliated everyone on the cruise saw it because everyone was waiting for the dam rafts...to make it worse it was all caught on tape..the cruise company sells videos of "your awesome day on the boat" ..not cool!
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Christmas is over :(
PSL - LMAO!!!!
SOOO BUSTED!
Submitted by Miss Priss on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 11:49am.
AH!!!!! Poo!!
One time I went out with my coworkers and got really drunk and proceeded to run out in traffic and talk to a carriage horse.
HAHAQHHAHSHAHAH
Karma's a bitch isn't it?
Hmmmm, let’s see….my top three in no particular order are:
- Having my strapless bathing suit pulled down in front of a crowd
- Getting my period (early/unexpectedly) on the subway while wearing a white skirt
- Drunkenly puking my guts out in front of a family on their way to church.
Good times. :)
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I want to put on my my my my my boogie shoes.
M.E., when I was 14, I was at a keg party in the woods.....could never pee outside, so my sister's friends took me to a Diner around the corner...I stumble in drunk off my ass.....and my PARENTS are there.
BUSTED.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally :got an excuse for Port-au-Prince? Can you even tell me where it is without Googling it?
Submitted by carebearloves on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 5:46pm.
its a person from france.
@Miss Priss
Most embarrassing? tooooo many to choose from. see my response to Stoneys dream. i 'sposed my own ass assidenty in public toooo. hehe!
Submitted by Hysteria on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 11:29am.
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Miss Priss, I once got really pissed at a dinner party thrown by people that I had just met. They had these round place mats and I scooped up some mashed potatoes and plopped them on the mat and started chowing down. Needless to say, a second invitation was not forthcoming.
I also walked from one end of a bar to the other with the back of my dress tucked inside my big ol' granny panties.
I embarass myself on a regular basis.
Best one is probably my 21st birthday. I was beyond hammered, stumbling toward another bar, when I had to pee, so I scurried off to this tree, for support. Well, in my drunkeness, I failed to notice the tree was in the median of the street. A police officer came up to me and asked me WTF I was doing to which I replied "Ima birfday guuuuuuuuuurl."
He told me to pull up my pants, he walked me back over to my friends and told them they'd better keep a better eye on me, cuz next time he'd arrest me for A)public intoxication B)indecent exposure.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
he has his frozen azz in a lawyers office right about now. lol
Wouldn't you?
oh god Miss P there are so many, beginning with when I was first in Brownies and we did that circle where everyone held hands and was silent and I was too scared to tell them I had to pee so I couldn't hold it and peed all over the floor. Also, I think I was Stoney's ONS LOL, not really but I have peed more than one bed in my drunken past!
****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"thats my favorite bible saying bitch!"
and Stoney
about the guy who pissed the bed(lol, sorry you had to go thru that)...reminds me of a co-worker a few years back who also had a one night stand, in the morning he said to her "um, did you ever, like, fart and pooped a little?"(!!!!!) He pooped on her new bed.
Yeah gross
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
Forget the guy! His poor kid! Imagine the humiliation!
"So, YOU'RE the son of the dude who was stuck upside down nekkid on the lift?"
BWWWWWWWWWWWWWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA!
Poor. Kid.
Submitted by Hairicane on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 11:30am.
Off topic -
Hate to break your heart.
The Mona Lisa does in fact have eyebrows. Unfortunately, being ancient, she's faded. Scope the scans from the last cleaning. I'm a lazy bitch, so you'll have to google it yourself.
On topic: I can't. I barely got the above typed out, I'm laughing so hard. Poor guy, poor kid.
"They purchased 3 extra apartments. 2 are for Tommy's ego, the other is for Katie's tears."-MK
Stoney!!!
*dies* OMG!!! hahahaahahhha funny!
KD, aww you so cute =)
Hairicane, come on!! Tell tell tell!!!!
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Didn't any of those rescuers have a blankie they could wrap around him?
I can just see him yelling up to his kid "Stop swinging your feet back and forth!" No one wants a ski rammed right into their crotch.
Who's "Mary?" I sent this in this morning. Oh well, Mary musta beat me to it.