Hef's Back To A 3 Whore Harem
Holly, Kendra and Bridget have been replaced by 19-year-old twins, Karissa and Kristina, and now 22-year-old Crystal Harris (the skeezer in the headband). Over the holidays, Crystal apparently went on E!'s message boards and told everyone she was now on Hef's payroll as his third hooker. The NYDN says Crystal, a San Diego State psychology student, wrote, "Hef gave me permission to fill people in on the new updates as a voice from the mansion."
She also said that right now Hef just has three whores, but "there are a couple that we have interest in. ... As for now, it is just us three."
Crystal hasn't been in Playboy yet, but she has bared her Ziploc sacks for the website. Click here to see her precious MySpace. It looks like the brain of an 12-year-old girl created it. Oh wait...
I'm getting a total Kendra vibe from the new ho. Well, if Kendra swallowed Holly and Bridget whole and had trouble digesting them.
And it makes sense why Hef always needs three skanks on staff. He needs one to pull his right prune cheek, one to pull the left and the third ho gets in there and wipes him up real good.
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That Crystal girl's myspace says "rock out with your Barack out"
Ugh, I *shudder* at her stupidity. I REALLY hate when dumbasses express their political opinions.
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How can you thank God for a song that the Devil helped you write?
Submitted by girl_cheese on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 2:39pm.
But they're all into Hef like poo is into a colostomy bag.
LOL!
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Heath Ledger
4/4/79 - 1/22/08
This is starting to get boring and unoriginal. I'll bet the skank twins parents are proud. It is common knowledge that Hugh cannot even get it up anymore. Maybe that is a good thing.
At least these girls are young and cute.....I never got the appeal of Bridget, she was old as dirt, she looked aweful she was always muuuccchhhh bigger than the others and belh. She should of been getting a husband and having kids instead of playing like a 20 something...
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I want to rip his nuts off with my teefs, filet his penis, cook it up and feed it to him with freshly squeezed nut sauce on top! ARGGGHH!
the twins faces look so chubby..ugh! i'm not impressed at all
xx LOVEBUNNY
I find it fucking hilarious that they're all standing in front of a Barnes&Noble's! Those bitches can't read, and Hef's real eyes have been replaced with glass since 1974! I mean, damn!
Whatever. It's not like people read at B&N anyways. It's really just a Starbucks with some books on display. DISPLAY ONLY!!!!!!
Sincerely a fucking slut,
Wanted
these chicks are the bottom of the barrell. if u are going to pick chicks for playboy they should be amazingly hot. these 3 just seem ordinary.
"inevitably" ugh, i need more coffee.
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How can you thank God for a song that the Devil helped you write?
All this multi-girlfriend fuckery will be over soon enough - when Hef inevitable dies of old age.
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How can you thank God for a song that the Devil helped you write?
Terrible.
Hef's eyesight has obviously gone to the shitter.
He must really like blondes..I got a chance!
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
The 22 year old ho DOES look like Kendra actually. They probably share the same brain since they're both from San Diego. The twins are skankalicious!
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
I thought that was kendra bring back the OG skanks Hef girls next door is my guilty pleasure
:(
George Carlin went to Heaven and left us with Dane Cook here in Hell
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Michael Phelps’ heart pumps twice as much blood as the average human’s heart.Blood made of the failed Olympic dreams of everyone that has raced against him.
a "psychology student" should be able to recognize her own lack of self-esteem and rampant daddy issues. Bitch needs more class(es).
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Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
I like the way they try to make them look respectable, wearing little coats and scarves. The phrase that comes to mind is "lipstick on a pig"
Ah, from my alma mater. Hef really likes San Diego girls, Kendra was from San Diego County as well- and this girl looks almost exactly like Kendra.
If this was my grampy, retired & reading the newspaper, out in the front yard with the snow-blower on sunday, having a beer or two at the elks lodge on friday nite - these hos would have nothing to do with him. But they're all into Hef like poo is into a colostomy bag. Hef knows it. It's just business. He's probably jonesing for an intelligent, interesting convo with a woman who has her own money.
boring.
and yes MK i get the same 'Kendra' vibe from her too...
Where's mike?
The bookends are the trashy evil twins. I fear for Hef's life with these 2 in the mansion.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Hef is dating the Three Little Pigs? Since when is he into swine?
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The only time I open my mouth is to change feet.
Awkard!
and...
O that's just lovely...the visuals on her page...
Disney, Disney, Disney...O look! I'm nekkid! ugh.
♥ ThreadKilla!
Five Famous People I Would Invite To Dinner
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
They all went blond? I thought he was shopping around for a brunette. Should of known. I was way off on that one.
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Is this another picture of scary celebrity dolls?
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Don't you just love public humiliation when it doesn't happen to you? It's truly what makes the world go round.--MK