Sam Micelli Is Engaged!

Celebwhore relationships are like ass pimples. When you pop one, another one grows in its place shortly after. Yesterday, two Hollyweird couples went bust, and today another announced they are gettin' married!

Alyssa Milano's spokeswhore told People that she's engaged to some Shrek-beast-type-man who goes by the name of David Bugliari. I shouldn't say that. I'm sure he's a wonderful person. And by "wonderful person" I mean he probably has a big peen. Although, it kind of looks like he has a hairy dick trunk. That's what my peendar tells me anyway.

Dave is an agent at CAA. They've been dating for about a year. If they go through with this shit, it will be Alyssa's second marriage.

Alyssa is only 36 (that still makes me feel old) so she still has time for her third, fourth and fifth marriage. And she's also smart in the brains for marrying an agent. If you're a has-been, you should either marry an agent, marry an Arab billionaire, leak a sex tape or humiliate yourself in a reality show. The first two are definitely your classiest options.

Posted by: Michael K

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Engagements

Submitted by Salem13 on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 5:25pm.

I never thought Alyssa was as "beauitful" as people made her out to be. Shes alright (IMHO) but I've seen prettier girls at the mall. And hey don't hate on Charmed that show was awesome!

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No, I didn't get that snuggie for christmas.

Submitted by Flatsy on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 5:21pm.

Submitted by She She peritta on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 5:18pm.

Creative Artists Agency. CAA

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She's flat and that's that!

Submitted by robotqueen on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 5:21pm.

What is CAA? At first I thought Canadian Automobile Association but then I realized she was in Canada, so I googled it and the Carriage Association of America: he Carriage Association of America is the oldest and largest organization dedicated to the preservation, restoration, and use of horse-drawn carriages and sleighs came up. WTF?

Submitted by Keane on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 5:20pm.

You girls seriously think Alyssa is beautiful and you'd go gayelle for her? She's pretty but she doesn't rock my world. Rose McGowan was always the hot one in that shit show for me. And really who on earth was that charmed nonsense aimed at? Buffy the Vampire Slayer it most definitely wasn't. How on earth did that tosh make these girls so famous I ask you?

Submitted by She She peritta on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 5:18pm.

CAA? What is that? Did he mean CIA?

Submitted by jussayin on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 5:18pm.

isn't that all she does?

her and Drew Barrymore
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"Hasta la bye bye!"

Submitted by Rotor Rooter on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 5:17pm.

Michael. I love you but I hate you as well. Leave David alone. Maybe he does have a Big Peen but what if he doesn't? It's nice to know that us average blog reader's have a chance with a celebrity (but make sure mine has a peen please). We all yearn for what her Smooshface has: Sex and a status. Ain't nothing like gettin' an STD and having your more famous Boo always willing to pay for the "shots." Life would be just so fabulous...

Submitted by Manbearpig on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 5:15pm.

Back when the Army used to wear that style of hat with the dress style uniforms(they've since moved on to the ubercool berets), they were affectionately known as CUNT CAPS.