Wednesday, January 7th 2009

Hot Slut Of The Day!

George Kistner - Are you over the age of 18? Do you live in Louisville, KY? Is your vagina clean and wart free? Do you not have a man? Are you really fucking desperate? If the answer is yes to all those questions, then I have the "free face" for you! George Kistner has a website offering to suck the poon of any ladies who meet his requirements. HA. Yes, he has requirements. And he's also an Ordained Minister of the Universal Life Church! So you will be getting a holy experience.

Click here to visit his site to read his terms, learn more about him and apply (you know you want to). Shit. I'd sit on his face just to cover it up.

For Elle

Posted by: Michael K


Stan Hooper's picture

Hey. I have to hand it to the guy. Those moving tongue animations sort of seal the deal.

hahahahaha. What a loser!

Hey..did anyone see that the Today Show ran the pic of the man with his ass out on the ski slopes. I have a feeling this fucker is going to be highlighted next right before Ann Coulter's next interview.

I think Ann may be tempted to take this fucker's offer.

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Pretty looks fade...dumb is forever -- Judge Judy

Farrah's picture

Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:33am.

LOL! Wait, we can't go yet..I think Slutty's about ready to bend over and raise her skirt for him.
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i hope she's done with her family tree. I already have the popcorn in the microwave!
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www.va-holocaust.com.
Tolerance Through Education

the medieval sword collection being "temporarily out of my possession" is code for i loaned it to the meth dealer

NitWitty's picture

Submitted by Farrah on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:26am.
@Nitty: how dare you dirty up the Wallace name??!! *grabbing Nitty's arm* let's get the fuck outta here!!
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LOL! Wait, we can't go yet..I think Slutty's about ready to bend over and raise her skirt for him.

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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK

Farrah's picture

Submitted by Sluttsville on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:15am.

That's okay Farrah, I just finished signing you up on the Dustin Diamond Fan Club.
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damn. You ARE evil.

@Nitty: how dare you dirty up the Wallace name??!! *grabbing Nitty's arm* let's get the fuck outta here!!

*******************************************
www.va-holocaust.com.
Tolerance Through Education

Hekki's picture

How did I miss this?

His tongue must be infested with god knows what.

I just had to use my asthma inhaler...there are no words to describe the awesomeness of his vampire look

Sluttsville's picture

Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:18am.
while he slid his slick dagger into your sheath of lurve.
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Nitty, get off the HBO True Blood Board with your tween friends and come back and decode this message.

christine the hoff's picture

I truly shudder to think of any woman this hard up. I can barely go to the store for smokes without getting hit on.

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Child? Fucking grown-man poo. Your anus will be in grown-man shambles.

Sluttsville's picture

This guy lives too close to my family, so close that I had to look carefully to make sure we aren't related before I made fun.

NitWitty's picture

Submitted by Sluttsville on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:13am.
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He's got a sword collection for ya, Slutty. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you called out William Wallace while he slid his slick dagger into your sheath of lurve.
*running out right behind Farrah*
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK

Sluttsville's picture

Submitted by mike on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:15am.
Women don't NEED to go online to find casual sex. Trolling for sex online is almost strictly a male pursuit. Any half-decent-looking woman (who am I kidding? most any woman) can go to a club and hook-up by the end of the evening. Most guys' standards are lower than they'll ever admit, and alcohol does nothing but lower those standards.
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What was the name of the bar you hang out?

DeeDee's picture

Submitted by Sluttsville on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:13am.
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:10am.
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Oh please, you and Dee probably have packed up your Twilight and True Blood pajamas and heading to Louisville. Farrah doesn't know the power of your vampire lust.
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Shhhhhhh! Damn I can't tell you whores anything! Now I have to share this hot piece with everyone, including a wooly mutton man!

christine the hoff's picture

Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:13am.
OH DEAR GAWD IN HEAVEN! I live north of the 'ville & work in Louisville. Should I contact him just for fun?????

I did!

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Child? Fucking grown-man poo. Your anus will be in grown-man shambles.

Sluttsville's picture

Submitted by Farrah on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:13am.
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That's okay Farrah, I just finished signing you up on the Dustin Diamond Fan Club.

NitWitty's picture

Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:13am.
OH DEAR GAWD IN HEAVEN! I live north of the 'ville & work in Louisville. Should I contact him just for fun?????
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What are you waiting for?!?! How can you possibly resists George?!
ROFLMAOOOOO. I double dog dare ya!

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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK

mike's picture

And I'd be willing to bet he still spends most evenings home alone.

Women don't NEED to go online to find casual sex. Trolling for sex online is almost strictly a male pursuit. Any half-decent-looking woman (who am I kidding? most any woman) can go to a club and hook-up by the end of the evening. Most guys' standards are lower than they'll ever admit, and alcohol does nothing but lower those standards.

Sluttsville's picture

Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:10am.
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Oh please, you and Dee probably have packed up your Twilight and True Blood pajamas and heading to Louisville. Farrah doesn't know the power of your vampire lust.

Superpop's picture

I'm calling it right now.

The Louisville labia licker will win hot slut of the week and then for the month of January!

Superpop's picture

I'm calling it right now.

The Louisville labia licker will win hot slut of the week and then for the month of January!

Farrah's picture

Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:10am.

Submitted by Sluttsville on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:07am.

Slutty, Farrah saved you the trouble and already signed you up this morning.
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oh shit! busted! *running*
*******************************************
www.va-holocaust.com.
Tolerance Through Education

dramaqueen365247's picture

OH DEAR GAWD IN HEAVEN! I live north of the 'ville & work in Louisville. Should I contact him just for fun?????
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."

http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247

NitWitty's picture

Submitted by Sluttsville on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:07am.
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Slutty, Farrah saved you the trouble and already signed you up this morning. You're his second customer..Dee got first dibs. Early bird gets the "worm" and all.
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK

Sluttsville's picture

Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:44am.
His site says the names he goes by are George, Vampire Lord and God.
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Say no more, if it's male and has Vampire in his title, then I know 2 sluts that will be registered on his website. They may pretend to be grossed out, but trust, they are making plans to travel to Ky as I'm typing.

blondetrouble's picture

uuummmm....

did anyone else notice this, under the 'about me' section?

"Swords & Medieval weaponry (temporarily out of my possession)"

lmao wtf....out of his possession? STRANGER DANGER

parissucksliterally's picture

what a sexay mothrfucker....I think I will go to Louisville and meet him.

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Submitted by parissucksliterally :got an excuse for Port-au-Prince? Can you even tell me where it is without Googling it?
Submitted by carebearloves on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 5:46pm.
its a person from france.

Clarisse's picture

Come on now ya'll ! You know there were a few Betty Sues that said "Whhhho weee! Demmit Georgie, you is do good, you should advurtize fur that shit!" and as George was walking cross the courtyard to his own trailer, he thought "…you know what….that ain't a bad idear!"

IV...I love a pierced licker, just not this ones!

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... so I threw my breasts out of the window of my Lamborghini!

lovelyone's picture

blech.
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<3
sarcastic.that's me.

Winnyfranfran's picture

God this turned my stomach. I shouldn't have clicked on Dlisted so soon after breakfast.

Bondagebarbie's picture

Looser...total looser.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

christine the hoff's picture

Submitted by missy on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:55am.
cthoff, dirty rosebud, bwahahahahaaa!

I know! if he emails me back, I'll be sooo happy.
think he likes fat redneck sixtynine year olds?
LOL!
we'll see how hard up this fucker is.

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Child? Fucking grown-man poo. Your anus will be in grown-man shambles.

missy's picture

cthoff, dirty rosebud, bwahahahahaaa!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke

a message from the Church of the SubGenius

ISprainedMyUvula's picture

I'm also incredibly bummed that he doesn't have some bunk assed, obviously fake testimonial section filled with cheesy "thanks for the canyon cleaning" crap.

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Mrs. Gosling's picture

He also goes by "Vampire Lord". I bet he has one of Mrs. Gosling's Twilight pillows under his bed that's filled with dried jizz instead of down feathers.

----hahahahahaha! he wishes he did..he has the bootleg version!

----This is a pretty good Idea I should put up an ad too...hmmmmm what should I advertise?

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Christmas is over :(

Well, he doesn't look halfbad, that is if you're blind, drunk and desperate.

christine the hoff's picture

Submitted by Miss Priss on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:45am.
CTH

LMAO make sure you let us know when you get an email back!

I think I will apply too. I'll make some juicy shit up

DO IT!
MOANING ALL YOU PRETTY HO'S!

I hope to hear from him soon,I will SO copy/paste his reply
I also asked him if he'd lick my dirty rosebud.

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Child? Fucking grown-man poo. Your anus will be in grown-man shambles.

Last post before I slut on out of here.

Best website page! :D :D :D

http://geocities.yahoo.com/gb/view?member=pomlias_asmodeus

***...watch your back, it's your wife!***

ISprainedMyUvula's picture

Okay, his first name is really Leslie? I smell (har har) some clit envy.

He also goes by "Vampire Lord". I bet he has one of Mrs. Gosling's Twilight pillows under his bed that's filled with dried jizz instead of down feathers.

****

ricki lake's picture

Hahahaha....people who take online IQ tests and think the results are in any way valid are retarded...and probably would not fare well on a real one, lol.

DeeDee's picture

Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:44am.
Submitted by DeeDee on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:41am.
Stamp collection! Stamp collection!
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I know where he can get them licked!
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Bwahahahaha! For free even. Won't cut into his box wine fund.

No Words's picture

I think it is a joke...at least, I hope and pray it is a joke.

missy's picture

Submitted by carefreea on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:21am.
Dude, no, just no. He's skeevy just to look at, why would you get naked for him? Ugh.

**

see, I think men maybe fail to understand, that because of their unquenchable sexual appetite, women can get laid anytime, anywhere, without trying. No need for us to answer ads, hire hookers, etc. I think they forget this.
_____________________________________________

Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke

a message from the Church of the SubGenius

"...You must be clean. If I cannot breath, I cannot help you..."

What's his definition of "clean"? I'm just asking. For all we know he could have old pimiento cheese all caught up in his tongue piercing...eww sorry I went there.

http://artbybillie.net

ImpertinentVixen's picture

Ladies, Vampire Lord here has a tongue piercing! Yow! I could have the same experience slashing myself with barbed wire!

And yeah, I need references. Will he guarantee an orgasm? How many? How long will it take? I want to hear from satisfied customers.

♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/

"IQ Test Scores: Range from 132 - 163--Avg. = 154"

Judging by the entirety of his website and the composition of his glorious literature, the numbshit must be taking the array of fraudulant online "IQ Tests" and omitting any unfavorable results. Now he thinks he's a fucking genius. *eyeroll*

***...watch your back, it's your wife!***

missy's picture

pop rocks??? ohfortheloveoffuckingchrist

dude craigslist is FILLED with ads like this...

men + internet anonymity = hilarious attempts to fulfill sexual fantasies in the form of online sex ads

MORNIN ALL YOU HO'S!!♥♥

_____________________________________________

Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke

a message from the Church of the SubGenius

Nyah's picture

You must be clean. If I cannot breath, I cannot help you. Also, I will not go down on anyone who is on the rag unless we are dating. Sorry for the inconvenience.

You should let your friends know about your experience if you have a good time.

LOLOLOL. Ewww.

ImpertinentVixen's picture

I think his soul mate is Anne Heche, aka Celestia. Or that crazy-eyed god-screaming zealot from that trading families show.

And if he's an ordained minister he should be able to exorcise the douchiness out of himself.

EPIC FAIL.

♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/

Miss Priss's picture

CTH

LMAO make sure you let us know when you get an email back!

I think I will apply too. I'll make some juicy shit up

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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE

"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08

ricki lake's picture

Marguerite Perrin!

THE GOD WARRIOR!@!#!#!@#