SJP Is Ready To Gallop Away!
SJP has had it with Matthew Broderick's lies, cheating and drama! Well, that's what you deal with when you're shacking up with a gay. And she also probably got sick of his fresh dick cheddar breath and constant use of jazz hands. Seriously, I picture Matthew Broderick using jazz hands for everything. When he says "good morning," when he says "goodnight" and especially when he pops one. Actually, when he orgasms, he does the Rockette kick followed by jazz hands and a curtsy.
SJP is getting sick of all that drama queen shit, so she's moving the fuck out of their big gay townhouse. That's what Star Magazine claims anyway. Their sources said SJP has hired a broker and is looking for her own apartment. "Sarah's not stupid. She knows exactly what's going on. For a while it was easier for her to stay than go through a harsh divorce. They're essentially living separate lives. They spent the holidays with him, pretending to be happy. SJP is a great actress when she has to be!"
I wish I could make a bitch about that "great actress" comment, but even I have to admit that her performance in Girls Just Wanna Have Fun was riveting.
Why does she have to move out?! Isn't she's the one who's putting carrots and sugar cubes on the table? Besides, it wasn't cheap to install that stable and trough in the basement. He should get his jazz hand-loving ass out of there and into a Chelsea studio with a small kitchenette like a real gay!
And it makes sense that Miley's "first kiss" is with a homo dude's chin.
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well i know this whole cover is bull shit just by reading miley first kiss. if it said mileys first std i'd be more convinced.
She may be preparing to move out, but it ain't because she's so shocked and heartbroken at recent developments. She knew she was marrying The Ghey at the time. It was a deal, to provide him with a spouse and her with a family. He has dated men the entire time, and she has had her boyfriends as well. My guess is that she feels it's time to move on from the charade. Can't really blame her.
PS Girls Just Wanna Have Fun is the best movie ever made!!! SJP, Helen Hunt, and a young Shannen Doherty? It's the stuff dreams are made of! "Don't throw a mental, Dad!" ahahahahahahah
as if anybody cared about ponies, mileys and jlove.
john travolta and his son should be on the cover.
'star' always shows what 'matters' most!
Ol' Ferris has never done it for me. He's missing a manly-man gene somewhere. Always looks like he's got soft hands...blech.
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
It's Mileys first kiss because she follows the *anything but my lips* hooker rule.
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Mrs. K. squeezed my ass. I can die happy.
And if John is blaming himself, maybe he'll see the light and fly the $ceino coop before he loses his other kid.
~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~
Miley's first kiss...LMFAO.
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"'Slutty Party Girl' is fun until she pukes on your shoes, then she's just a pain in the ass."
Stop it, MK! Ferris Bueller is not gay!!!
Gee...who could have possibly seen this coming? In her defense, they were married for like eleventy billion years (in celeb years).
~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~
Awww, I feel a little bad for her. It's not like she's gonna have a bunch of straight guys lining up for a chance at her. At least she has her millions to keep her warm at night.
haggard