Wednesday, January 7th 2009

Pepaw Pitt Talks About You Know What

Oh, look. Brad Pitt loved his Benjamin Button old baby face make-up so much that he's decided to wear it everywhere! If that was only the truth. This definitely needs more tinkering by the Photoshop elves. I know, Brad is trying to be all "raw" and "real" on the cover of W Magazine, but he only looks "elderly" and "sleepy." I could take a canoe down one of his forehead canals. I mean, damn! I bet you St. Angie's vagina is like a 7-year-old's since it sucked out all of Brad's hotness and youth. Just feed Pepaw Pitt some Ensure through a straw and let's move on.

So....in the February issue of W, Brad is ooooooonce again dragging out this shit bitches have been talking about for fucking centuries. You can even read about this drama on the walls of the tombs of Egypt. But here I am continuing the fuckery, so I'll slap myself with a baby later.

Brad defended St. Angie when talking about how they got together while he was still married to Jennifer Aniston. He said, “We were still filming after Jen and I split up. Even then it doesn’t mean that there was some kind of dastardly affair. There wasn’t. I’m very proud of the way that it was handled. It was respectful."

Okay, he gets points for saying "dastardly affair." Not only does he looks like he was born in the late 1800s, but he talks like it too!

Now, he also defended Jennifer's infamous "uncool" comment. Brad said, "Jen is a sweetheart. I think she got dragged into that one, and then there’s a second round to all of that Angie versus Jen. It’s so created.” Um. They are the fucking creators! The interviewer didn't hide the word "uncool" in a cucumber sandwich and force feed it to Jen. She said it willingly! And by "sweetheart" he really means, "She exists, so every now and again I have to pat her on the head."

All of these three famewhores are in cahoots for some publicity . When does Jen have another movie coming out? Because that's when we're going to see her naked ass on the cover of a magazine in some kind of ferret pose with the quote, "It WAS a DASTARDLY affair!"

The only person I believe in all of this is Maddox. He tells the truth. I'm still waiting for his tell-all.


Posted by: Michael K


LMFAO! Pitt & Jolie were both kicked to the curb at the Critics Choice Awards! ZERO wins for Benny Button and the same goes for Changeling, Wanted & Burn After Reading. They didn't win for picture,director or actors! I guess it's time to go raise that family now that you're done on the big screen. Suckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Submitted by Mel on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 4:45pm.

This picture is why I can NEVER take Brad Pitt seriously.

http://www.thesuperficial.com/images/2006/01/brad-is-girlfriend.jpg

He takes on the appearance and attitude of EVERY woman he has been with. Its a complete and utter turn off.

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Anyone familiar with Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)? I'm no expert, but I think Stu-Pitt might be an "ESFJ". A tad unusual for a male, as most are female. They tend to idealize people they really like, put them on pedestals and more or less get their identity from them. I had this happen to me on my last job. The chick next to me would copy ALL of my personal style and clothes. She ended up looking like my little clone. Effin ANNOYING as hell. Plus, they are not very bright. Just my 02.

Chicklet's picture

He looks just gross.

I don't know much about Billy Bob, but I noticed the only time the public caught a glimpse of his personality was when he was with Jolie. We heard about the sex in the limo, the blood vials, the velcro room they were having installed in their home and watched the make out sessions on the red carpet. Then after they divorced we no longer hear about "billy's antics" - actually we don't even see him. I think this fang brings out the beast in men. She has a way of making them look foolish in front of the public. Pitt has always kept mum about certain things in his life, now we can't get him to shut the f*ck up. He's all sorts of outspoken now. She'll have him blabbing about their sex life in no time. He's already telling us about the "sexy" W photos that he took of Jolie but couldn't put them in the magazine b/c they were too revealing.

Also, it's no coincidence that we haven't seen Jolie prancing around with the kids. She's purposely hiding out and then right before the Oscars I guarantee we'll see a photo of her walking the twins in a stroller or some shit. Ironic how we haven't seen those twins since their debut in People back in August. We're long overdue for some baby exposure. She's plotting the perfect photo op ....

joanne's picture

Submitted by lizzieb on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 7:41am.

That sums it up for me. Well said.

attitude's picture

How about the 4th thumbnail for the next caption this contest? Or will that be toooo easy?

lizzieb's picture

Oh Brad. He classes himself as all ‘respectful’ yet he cheated on his wife- running in and saying ‘Hi Jen, sorry got a ball itch for St Ange, it’s been real please, file for divorce’ does not count as treating you marriage with respect. Before the ink was dry in the separation he was posing with skanky as a couple with lots of blond kids and off buying a new baby, not to mention she’s knocked up without months of them meeting. I am stating to wonder if Keane and others might be right- maybe she did cock tease him until he got a legal separation- that would make it right in her self serving eyes and give her a chance to down the Clomid to ensure pregnancy as soon as is (in)humanly possible.
But the thing that really bothers me is when the papers were slagging off Jennifer as not wanting a family and St Ange of the Willing Womb just giving him his hitherto unrealised life’s desire why didn’t he stick up for her then and say, no not true actually. It’s only when Jennifer finally gives them a long overdue poke that he’s Mr Loose mouth about what a sweetheart she is. Shameless.
You won’t get that Oscar Brad. Your film is not that successful (beaten by Jennifer, were you aware of that?) very mixed reviews and basically you are a laughing stock. So you can shoot all the grainy pics you want but you are finished. When Ange dumps you for the next sucker it will be an interesting journey. Let’s see you spin that you moron.

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If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning. I'm talking to you actually.

There is none so blind as those who will not see.

Pitt, go home. You are stupid.

lizzieb's picture

Submitted by funkybella on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 4:23am.

So they had serious attraction while fliming..that happens everyday. What looks bad on Brad is that he adopted Zahara like 2 months after legal split and got ANgie Preggers right away. No matter what you say though.. Angie is Brad's true love!

The 'legal split' was a separation, not a divorce so he was married to Jennifer when Angie got knocked up. Classy. He did not adopt Zahara- for the last time, he went with Ange on her shopping trip but she alone adopted the girl as the rules of that nation state an unmarried couple cannot adopt. I am going to guess this goes double for new couple one of whom is married to someone else. She changed her name sure, but that's no biggy. Maddox is no his 4th name already at the tender age of 7.
True love? we'll see.......

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If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning. I'm talking to you actually.

helly's picture

This is so dull.

I even somewhat like Brangie, and was intrigued by the triangle longer than I should have been, but this story is just so over.

Jen cannot exist without Brad and Angie.. that's why she keeps bringing it up.

Jen and Brad were having serious issues when he was filming Troy. Way, way before Angie came into the picture.

Jen is still playing victim because she knows that Brad did not have an affair and is letting people think he did. Listen Brad and Jen are still good friends.. do you think she'd be still around if he cheated on her?

Maybe some of the things during the publicity and right after were done in poor taste but they did not get a divorce because of Angie that was already in the works. So they had serious attraction while fliming..that happens everyday. What looks bad on Brad is that he adopted Zahara like 2 months after legal split and got ANgie Preggers right away. No matter what you say though.. Angie is Brad's true love!

Heads up: Brads' ex's still speak hightly of him ( Gywneth, Juliette, Robyn Givens and even Thandie Newton ) even though he dated the last 2 before he became a huge supestar (b4 Thelma & Lousie )

Two Drink Min's picture
Two Drink Min's picture

Submitted by Banayna on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 1:59am
_______________________________________
typical loon response. It's gossip site, we comment on everything. Not just these three crankers. This is not JJ where we salivate over a JP post.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656

jussayin's picture

he didn't have to cheat on her either. he could have been a man.....well, a decent human being (because this is what most men do, act like lying pussy bitches instead of being upfront and honest).

and you can go ahead and smell the bitter life projection all over that statement if you'd like. I have no respect for people who feel the need to be dishonest when it's unnecessary.

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Submitted by MrPossumsMama on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 12:18am.
Vote for MK - he's coming in 2nd by only like 1000 votes:
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-gossip-blog/
Polls close Feb 13

Banayna's picture

Pfft people need to get over it. he didnt have to stay with Maniston if she didnt want kids and he did. All these bitter hags are just projecting their own bad relationships onto the situation.

jussayin's picture

and there's no "respectful" type of affair. if you have one just acknowledge that it is the height of disrespect!

he may want to learn to keep his fat mouth shut.

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Submitted by MrPossumsMama on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 12:18am.
Vote for MK - he's coming in 2nd by only like 1000 votes:
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-gossip-blog/
Polls close Feb 13

Mustang Sally's picture

Dick Dastardly Wobby Wobbler

That pretty much describes Brad Pitt's life (for decades) to a "T". You can just keep changing the words around until you find your favorite phrase.

http://www.stage-fright.com/didawawo.html

...with apologies to the real Dick Dastardly, who still has his balls.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erEoQH33B70

chica robotica's picture

Submitted by Sheeps on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:43pm.

Not sure in a pre-Internet world how much things were kept under wraps. I did once see Voight in a Westwood deli in the 80s. He looked dour. *brightening at the brush with fame*

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LOL. I'm jealous! Did I mention I love Jon Voight? Anyway, I'm sure you and Phoebe are right... that JV's fame was more manageable (as he was an actor vs celebrity) and that people weren't as media saturated pre-Internet. I was just thinking that in random interviews, they would've said something like "new father" or "father of two" -- something like that. Although Jon Voight isn't really Tony Curtis, I guess, and wouldn't have appeared in all the celebrity rags of the day with posed family shots. Oh, well!

Brad, everyone knows you don't use big words, that you have to ask Maddox for help when you do crossword puzzles! "Mad, what's a six letter word for movie theater?" CINEMA you boob! So stop your fibbin' and come clean you old button! You were doing the horizontal hip hop with Angie from the second your stinky feet hit the set!
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You're forgetting that he used the 50 cent word "impervious" on Oprah! Remember he threw that word out there when referring to poo,snot,and throw up! James Haven did you buy him that role of toilet paper with all the BIG words on it? He's gotten some kick ass use out of that gift. lmao!

As Tom Cruise would say , "Brad you're glib"!

I've always thought Angelina was lying about her age. I remember first seeing her in Gia (her best movie IMO), and she looked waaaay older than 22/23...more like late 20's. I also agree about CZJ. I think Beyonce may also be shedding a few years from her age as well.

I do think Fergie is telling the truth about however old she is. She's been in the industry for a long time. I remember her on Kids Incorporated way back when and she couldn't have been more than 12.

James Haven's picture

Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:33pm.

Socky! New Year SmOOches for you!

You look adorably cute as always, in your avie.

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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Sock-Monkey's picture

Submitted by James Haven on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:19pm.
~~~~~~~~~~
*flying leap off hamper into your arms*
James Haven! *sock monkey hugs & smooches* You always make my day with your funny stories. Me lurves James Haven!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008

James Haven's picture

Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:21pm.

SmOOches islandgirl. Long time no see.

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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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islandgirl's picture

James Haven, you crack me up.

That is all. ♥♥

James Haven's picture

James Haven knows full well that there was a "dastardly affair" going on! He knows cause he read Angie's diary where she outlined every smutty detail of their torrid affair. And let's not forget that James Haven's bedroom is right next to Angie's and he heard every word ever said!

Who does Bradley Pitt think he is using the word "dastardly"? That's James Haven's word! Brad and James Haven had a big mashup one evening because Brad accused James Haven of hiding his silly cap. James Haven couldn't take it anymore and told Brad if he didn't have a dastardly affair with Angie, James Haven wouldn't be living like Mr. Belvedere and would be free to pursue his passion, instead of babysittin' these crazy kids.

Brad, everyone knows you don't use big words, that you have to ask Maddox for help when you do crossword puzzles! "Mad, what's a six letter word for movie theater?" CINEMA you boob! So stop your fibbin' and come clean you old button! You were doing the horizontal hip hop with Angie from the second your stinky feet hit the set!

And by the way.....You look just like Captain Kangaroo on that cover!

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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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jussayin's picture

Dick Dastardly!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Dastardly

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"Hasta la bye bye!"

Phoebe's picture

I'm old enough to remember the pre-internets days, and Jon Voight was not that famous that he was being followed around every minute or anything.

There was a story about AJ's mother's boyfriend who had an old letter from the mother which said AJ was a teenager at the time she would have been younger if her pretend age is true.

I just confused myself, but I think that story was here on Dlisted or at least discussed here.

Those tattoos of her kids' birth coordinates are the receipts - most of them are still under warranty.

Submitted by chica robotica on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:35pm.
I'm sure actors lie about their age. Positive. But when they're born to famous people, isn't it easier to track? Wasn't Jon Voight famous at the time Angelina was born?

Not sure in a pre-Internet world how much things were kept under wraps. I did once see Voight in a Westwood deli in the 80s. He looked dour. *brightening at the brush with fame*

chica robotica's picture

I'm sure actors lie about their age. Positive. But when they're born to famous people, isn't it easier to track? Wasn't Jon Voight famous at the time Angelina was born? He was nominated for an Oscar in 1970 and Angelina should've been born in 1975 if she's honest about her age. I mean, it would be like Shiloh trying to fudge her age thirty years from now... although perhaps Angelina's celebrity (not talent) is bigger, crazier than her father's was. But whatever. I guess Shiloh could lie. I've already sort of forgotten what year she was born. In 30 years, if she says 2008 instead of 2006 (?), I won't know. All I'll know is it wasn't 2009 bc I'm sitting here typing this.

ediebaby's picture

I can't stand him.

lovehaight's picture

my new years resolution is to start using the word "dastardly" on a regular basis.

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your band sounds like someone choking on guitar hero.

www.haighthearts.blogspot.com

Two Drink Min's picture

Seriously the people who start personal arguments with no basis need to chill out or leave. You comments are uselss and as exciting as a Peabo Bryson tune.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you know i remember when brad pitt was kinda cute LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lizzieb's picture

Submitted by Lindalou on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 6:48pm.
I'm feeling quite testy tonite and keep wondering why the hell we arent over these people yet.

It might just be because they never shut the fuck up. If they were like, I dunno, Jodie Foster and I couldn't pick out their kids in a line up if my life depended on it, then we might give them a pass. Oh yeah- making a decent movie wouldn't hurt either.

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If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning. I'm talking to you actually.

Molotov Cocktease's picture

hold the fuck on... fighting in a Brangelina thread???

Jaw, meet floor.

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Actually, when he orgasms, he does the Rockette kick followed by jazz hands and a curtsy. - MK on Matthew Broderick

jiggywiddit's picture

Pitt is NOT hot and NOT Interesting, so can we please file him away, MK??

Could you roll out something saliva-worthy, like, I don't know, Grant Wilson in a thong?

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Don't you just love public humiliation when it doesn't happen to you? It's truly what makes the world go round.--MK

Nicole's picture

Ugh. Would all three of them please, please for the love of fucking CHRIST shut the fuck up already? How many years is the whole stupid Brad/Angie/Jen shit going to be dragged out?

They either need to settle it with a brawl or shut the fuck up already. Seriously.

-Fuck you with something hard and sandpapery-

Lindalou's picture

I'm feeling quite testy tonite and keep wondering why the hell we arent over these people yet.

blackgirlzrule's picture

"Submitted by sushi on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 1:24pm.
What a douchebag. I'll never understand what people find so fascinating about this prick of a man whose only personality comes from whoever he is with at the time."

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Honestly, I really have no interest in any of this, meaning it's neither here nor there imo, but I have always thought that about him: that his personality is a reflection of who he is with at the time, which makes him look like a flake.

lizzieb's picture

This picture is why I can NEVER take Brad Pitt seriously.

http://www.thesuperficial.com/images/2006/01/brad-is-girlfriend.jpg

Wow. Zelig or what? I know I am going to sound like a Jen Hen but it seems to me that he looks most attractive and happy with her.

On the subjct of gossip- Jennifer spent New Year's with Lorna Dern. I would love to have been a fly in that wall. No wonder Angie has scars behind her ears- they were burning so much she had to cut them off!

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If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning. I'm talking to you actually.

lizardo911's picture

Man, he really needs a good chemical peel or even some plastic surgery, such as a face lift! LOL!

Sandbitch's picture

Submitted by Diego on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 4:14pm.

I don't have kids, don't really like them, and don't know much about raising one, but isn't that kind of a lesson you'd want them to learn? That a dog is a member of the family and it should be sad when he dies?

==Trudat, but children don't learn that sort of thing (empathy/compassion shit like that) at the movies. LOL, if only parenting was that easy!

Please enjoy your childlessness from the rest of us that have forgotten what it's like to go to the fucking movies...

I'm going home now to kiss the dog and kick the kids.

Submitted by Hysteria on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 4:20pm.
do people seem in a bitchy mood today, or is just me?

Kinda, huh? Who knew goss was so serious?

vivienne's picture

Submitted by lizzieb on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 2:29pm.
@ two drink

this is the link
http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/category/angelina-jolie/

She seems very young for a face lift- maybe she cutting again?
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She is so dumb. Why wouldn't she wear her hair down or try to cover the scars up? I wouldn't be surprised if she just had some work done. Angie is no stranger to plastic surgery.

http://www.plasticsurgeryblog.org/content/a-closeup-angelina-jolies-plas...

@ Trina_Kat If you just want celebrities to act and don't care about what is going on in their personal life, why are you on a gossip site?

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If you get to vote on my rights, when do I get to vote on yours?

Publicity whore! He is trying to milk this Benji Button thing.

Funny that he never wanted to talk about it and now it's all he talks about.

And what does having an affair have to do with them still filming after he and Jennifer broke up. It doesn't mean Brad and Angeline DIDN'T have an affair. I don't think they were still filming. Brad and Jen announced their separation while he was doing publicity for the movie with Angelina.

It's beginning to smell. For me he says it all by saying “Even then it doesn’t mean that there was some kind of dastardly affair." The affair didn't have to be dastardly just an affair.

missy's picture

Im gonna start referring to AJ as Angelina Voight and the family as the Voight-Pitts

Doesnt have the same ring to it, huh?

Well its her real name.

VOIGHT

Member when John Voight was a famous name and Angelina Jolie didnt even exist? Ahh the good ol days.

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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke

a message from the Church of the SubGenius

Submitted by Sandbitch on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 4:57pm.

Dude, what? I didn't say he didn't find it sad. He just didn't end up weeping like a little kid. Though I will make sure he knows how lucky he is that I am able to understand the concept of a joke.

"I love my tail in these jeans!"

missy's picture

Submitted by Mel on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 4:45pm.
This picture is why I can NEVER take Brad Pitt seriously.

http://www.thesuperficial.com/images/2006/01/brad-is-girlfriend.jpg

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oh that is rich hahahahahaa

great link!

_____________________________________________

Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke

a message from the Church of the SubGenius

Sandbitch's picture

Submitted by Diego on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 4:45pm.

Submitted by Sandbitch on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 4:27pm.

Say what? He sounds like a psychopath because he made a joke about me crying at a movie? I guess I know a lot of psychopaths then.

==Because he doesn't find the concept of losing a dog "sad".

Two Drink Min's picture

LOL - KRane should be Keane. OMG, I need to turn the office lamp up.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656