Wednesday, January 7th 2009
Open Post: Hosted By Steve Martin
It's day two of our experiment on their whole "Open Post" thing. Yesterday was interesting. Anyway, this is where you can comment about whatever the hell you want. You can talk about how these pictures of Steve Martin in St. Barts makes the panty pudding flow or whatever else you want. It's whores' choice. Again, if you fight, don't fuck up the furniture.
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All up in the hood, you might see
locas looking good or crazy
find them at the car show, or on the street
or there favorite hang out - the swap meet
damn don't be a hater - its all good smile now cry later
never mess with a chick, with lip liner no lip stick
wanna look good I'll tell you how
first gotta paint on you're eyebrows
spray you're hair with Aqua Net
get a tattoo to rep your set
sport Van David's and some Dickies
and you're neck covered in hickies
need a gallon of mascara
and get pregnant in you're quinceanera
lean like a chola way up high
thick eye liner in my eye
cruise all day, drink all night
got four kids with three guys
lean like a chola
lean like a chola way up high
thick eye liner in my eye
cruise all day, drink all night
got four kids with three guys
lean like a chola
Speak Spanish when they speak
"y que foo!" don't look at me
say "you member" and "whatevers"
my mans been locked up forevers
when he gets out he'll be mad
that his boy's my baby's dad
listen to the oldies like the Chi-Lights
got a blade in my hair when I fight
got home girls Fea, Mosca, & Shy girl,
Dreamer, Drifter, Tiny & Fly girl,
Creeky, Whisper, & La Guera,
China, Tortuga, Morena,
Angel, Sad girl, Lady Joker,
Lil Puppet, Silent, Smoker
got a problem - callate la boca
you don't wanna mess with some gangsta a** locas
lean like a chola way up high
thick eye liner in my eye
cruise all day, drink all night
got four kids with three guys
lean like a chola
lean like a chola way up high
thick eye liner in my eye
cruise all day, drink all night
got four kids with three guys
lean like a chola
Wow all these people say Steve Martin was one of their influences:
Eddie Izzard, Chris Rock, Patton Oswalt, Brian Posehn, Will Forte, David Walliams, Sarah Silverman, Will Arnett, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Louis C.K., Tina Fey, Russell Peters.
Useless info! Yes, but I consider it really cool if someone puts you down as an influence.
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Submitted by PreferentialComplex on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 3:36pm.
@Hairicase; yes, it's hard to keep up, isn't it?
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ya. and it's playing out like a game.
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 3:33pm.
Sorry to hear that. OK, so not ALL cats smell like maple syrup, but my sister's does, and so do mine.
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Do you feed them the same brand of food?
The older one smells like my perfume (she likes to sleep on the laundry to-do pile) and the other smells like her biscuits hehe.
@Gosling, you could do some stretches...or breathing exercises....
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
Why this fascination with animal odors? Dog smells, cat smells... lol. I can't say I've spent a lot of time smelling my cats feet. Or any cats feet.
@Hairicase; yes, it's hard to keep up, isn't it?
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 3:25pm.
Submitted by TITS on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 3:23pm.
Well. I. NEVER!
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heehehee
Oh deb, deb, deb. Once again I left your name off on purpose, I'm starting to think you're just drawing attention to yourself you silly whore.
Hang on a sec and I'll sprinkle some brown sugar back there - will that help?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"Hello you worthless piece of shit. Oh don't worry about us, WE have OPTIONS": Artie
woopsie. computer stutter.
Submitted by Molotov Cocktease on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 3:32pm.
Submitted by Mrs. Gosling on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 3:29pm.
Any of you know what kind of exercices I can do while Im sitting here at work? lol
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kegels!
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You squeeze....hold for at least 10 sec....and repeat for as long as you can!
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He went back to Florida for 2 weeks....*whimper* no dick for me for awhile...
St. Barts water would look better WITHOUT Steve in it!
madam s - me also, only it's because I'd like to see how his gut gets in the way.
looks like all the peepaws are flocking to the caribbean for a swim...
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 3:33pm.
yes Mrs. G. I do.
lmao were you planning on sharing?
And I do Kegels all the time but I always have the feeling im doing them wrong lol
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Christmas is over :(
I don't even know why, but I look through these Steve Martin photos and think "I would totally sleep with him".
Sandbitch - Do they indeed? Let's you and me go on a search all 'round the word smelling dog feet.
Submitted by carefreea on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 3:26pm.
Sorry to hear that. OK, so not ALL cats smell like maple syrup, but my sister's does, and so do mine.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Sugaroo on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 3:29pm.
I know you guys are into this open thread business, but the posts are too fast and the topics too varied to have any kind of convo.
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Ya. It's the attention deficit disorder thread.
yes Mrs. G. I do.
****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"thats my favorite bible saying bitch!"
vote for MK come on hurry up vote often
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-gossip-blog/
@Molotov Cocktease.
That is genius! I like your work. lol...
do dogs smell like what they've gotten into when they eat from the garbage? or maybe it's sweat?
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
I’ll never forget the day we met in that grocery aisle
I’ve never been giggly in a Piggly Wiggly but you sure made me smile.
And since that day I’ve been blown away by your sweetness, baby
You make me holler for only a dollar, I love you so... Little Debbie.
Well, people say you’re no good for me but I don’t want to hear
I know you’ll never break my heart
Well you might clog it up, but I don’t care.
Cause a man can’t have too much sugar
And even though I’m getting a little heavy
I need the thrill of your chocolate fill
I love you so, Little Debbie.
Well my heart starts to pound when I eat a Fudge Round, oh the joy it brings
I yell “Oh lookie, it’s an Oatmeal Cookie,” it makes my tummy sing.
All I want for lunch is a Star Crunch, and I would trade my car
For a big bowl of Swiss Cake Rolls and a Nutty Bar.
Well the doctor says your no good for me, but what does he know?
He tells me to avoid the sweets
But he's sneaking around with his Ho-Ho.
Hey, a man can't have too much sugar
And even though I’m getting a little heavy
Your chocolate filling is oh so thrilling…
I love you so, Little Debbie.
Jesus. I thought that was Richard Gere for a second.
Submitted by Pauly Shore on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 3:28pm.
Keeshond paws smell like popcorn.
===Pauly, so do Pomeranians! I sometimes call my wee doggah "puppeh popcorn paws" :)
Submitted by Mrs. Gosling on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 3:29pm.
Any of you know what kind of exercices I can do while Im sitting here at work? lol
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kegels!
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Actually, when he orgasms, he does the Rockette kick followed by jazz hands and a curtsy. - MK on Matthew Broderick
@ Rosie - YES! Perez copies MK's shit all the time.
On how Dlisted has affected my life:
I got a new asst. which meant I wasn't alone in my office anymore and she was always in my area so I could never play bc I wanted to set a good example. I just figured out a week ago how to get rid of her: I introduced her to DLISTED. Now she's "hooked" and just sits her ass at her computer and does her work over there while trying to sneak online, while I do my work over here and do the same!
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Actually, when he orgasms, he does the Rockette kick followed by jazz hands and a curtsy. - MK on Matthew Broderick
Lady Supermarket with an apple in her basket
Knocks in the manager's door;
Grooning to the muzak from a speaker in shoe rack
Lays out her goods on the floor;
Everything she's chosen is conveniently frozen.
Eat it and come back for more!
Lady Window Shopper with a new one in the hopper
Whips up a chemical brew;
Croaking to a neighbour while she polishes a sabre
Knows how to flavour a stew.
Never need to worry with a tin of 'Hurri Curri':
Poisoned especially for you!
No use to complain
If you're caught out in the rain;
Your mother's quite insane.
Cat food cat food cat food again.
Lady Yellow Stamper with a fillet in a hamper
Dying to finish the course;
Goodies for the table with a fable on the label
Drowning in miracle sauce.
Don't think I am that rude if I tell you that it's cat food,
Not even fit for a horse!
@sugaroo...says you...i like having multiple convos at one time!
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
Submitted by Mrs. Gosling on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 3:29pm.
Any of you know what kind of exercices I can do while Im sitting here at work? lol
Kegels.
Thanks Snowpiece!
Voted. I've never heard of "oh no they didn't" but it's winning. At least DListed is second. Maybe there is still hope...
Any of you know what kind of exercices I can do while Im sitting here at work? lol
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Christmas is over :(
@iknoweverything, i would love to smoke a j with Olympia Dukakis!!!!
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
I know you guys are into this open thread business, but the posts are too fast and the topics too varied to have any kind of convo.
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The only time I open my mouth is to change feet.
Submitted by cattitude on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 3:23pm.
Very nice! I love getting carded! Was that you in your old avie? If so you look like a kid! Well done!
Submitted by PreferentialComplex on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 3:23pm.
I'll buy that.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by TITS on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 3:16pm.
Submitted by paris herpes on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 3:00pm.
Who is Ignatius Reilly?
Main character in the book 'a confederacy of dunces' by John Kennedy Toole. Won a pulitzer prize. One of the best books I've ever read.
Only book I've read three times, and I'll probably read it again in 10 years or so.
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That is a brilliant book. I've read it twice, and now that you've reminded me of it, I'm going to dig it out and read it again. I'm laughing just thinking about it. Love the part where he gets a job as a hotdog vendor. That shit is epic.
PC : see my siggy
****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"thats my favorite bible saying bitch!"
vote for MK come on hurry up vote often
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-gossip-blog/
Keeshond paws smell like popcorn.
@suze oh man that sounds like a great idea! hahahah!
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
Submitted by cattitude on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 3:21pm.
wow! you should email MK and tell him. Thats too awesome not to share :)
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Where do you vote for the blogger awards?
Submitted by KD on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 3:20pm.
My sister has Asperger's. She was just diagnosed last month.
Im sorry :(
How old is she?
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Christmas is over :(
Neither of my cats smell sweet like maple syrup on their heads. Diddled and not in a good way :(
I found this site one day while bored at work and I absolutely love it. Thanks for the great hollyweird news and your hilarious view of things.
Olympia Dukakis rolls the best joints in Hollywood......
His King Tut pose in pic 3 has gotten kinda tired.
@TITS, I've always wanted to read that book too! Problem is I have a million books I want to read though...ah well...
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
Michael K, I voted for you in those blog awards. Break a leg.
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OH MAN I just saw that Ad for PH's book, can't stand that "thing" MK still winning over him in votes though, I'm surprised he hasn't put the link onto his site to be voted on, he's so full of himself, i guess that explains why he can't still completely lose the pounds!
why am i so lazy? i need to get up and do things, lots of difficult things, but i don't. why? is it genetic? am i completely unable to function as a normal man? was my mother's breast milk too salty? i just don't know why.
xxoo-dick
TITS: "I'll let you all deduce whether the dog was on the bed or I was on the floor."
hahaha!
my dog smells like corn chips too. I once saw an episode of WIll & Grace where Will was playing with a big dog and he mentioned the corn chip smell too, so we're not all crazy :)