Hold Me Back
Nobody makes me want to do harm to my laptop monitor the way Fishsticks Paltrow does. But I have to take a deep breath, stuff an Oreo Cakester in my mouth and realize it's just the messenger. I really should torture a big plate of Gorton's.
So, you know what Fishy thinks of those who don't like her big, steaming pile of maggot covered poop called GOOP? She feels sorry for you. It gets better. She said, "I think part of the problem is people get a hit of energy when they are negative about something, and it is a very detrimental way for them to get that hit of energy. They do not understand why they do not have a happy life. That kind of stuff is just noise to me. I just feel sorry for them."
All the energy I get from absolutely despising this hag isn't going to help me pull the stick lodged in her tight ass, because it's there forever. And the stick is who I feel sorry for the most. That stick has to put up with her runny caca for the rest of its days. Her asshole could bawl brown tears every second of the day from her stupid ass detoxing and that stick would still not fall out.
And let me just sprinkle a little more of her pretentious butt nuggets on you. When asked why she decided to start a newsletter where she can talk about drinking a half-cup of castor oil to get the shit going and her favorite $10 million cashmere toe covers, she said, "I have this incredible, blessed, sometimes difficult, very lucky, very unique life, and I've gotten to travel all over the place and to work and live in different cities. … I go on tour with my husband and go to cities I would never necessarily go to. So I started accruing all of this information. I am the person my friends call when they want to know: "I am redoing this bathroom, and I want a sink that looks midcentury, but a contemporary version of a midcentury. Where should I go?" or "How do I make your (recipes)?" … I thought this would be a fun, creative way to share with friends."
Oh. My. God. For someone who promotes eating seeds and grass to stay healthy, this bitch really makes me want to eat a jumbo bowl of sugar, preservatives and fat. And that's what I'm going to do right now to keep me from strangling an innocent fishstick.
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Gwynnie left Brad and some said it was because he was an airhead and she couldn't see hersefl maried to an idiot. I didn't believe it at the time and she got hated on for a long time afterwards, especially since she moved on quickly to that other dummy Ben Affleck. Meet Joe Black is the movie where he performed through his break-up misery. It's no different from any of his other emotionless roles but some said his performance was due to his extremely broken heart
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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What I need to do is start a local chapter of Krispy Kreme, open 24/7. We also need a Whattaburger here, too. See, it's not enough to travel all over the world (whatever). You have to stay home and start businesses (see above) that can employ tens of ppl.
Submitted by Two Drink Min on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 4:14pm.
Thanks, Two Drink. Viggo? How does she get these yummy men?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Deb - I heard she cheated on Pitt with Viggo on Perfect Murder...just what I heard and she left.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
I voted, but how are we so far behind ONTD?
Not as funny.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
So who left whom when she was dating Brad Pitt?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Wow - the condescension and "Let them eat cake!"-ishness of these statements is just breathtaking. In other words, "I have this TREMENDOUS life that all of you peasants WISH YOU HAD, so why don't I just dribble down some crumbs to you to make you feel better about your sad, "negative" lives? Aren't I an angel for doing so?" She doesn't even realize what a pretentious idiot she's being either, does she?
I didn't hate her before, but I do now.
what an arse. Does she honestly feel people really can't do without her. Fuck, I've travelled too, but you don't see me telling people how to re-decorate their bathrooms in midcentury Michigan..*all woodsy with a guilded picture of Ted Nugent*...I just take my pictures and shut the fuck up...
What will it take to shut her up. Iam certain that Chris Douchbag Martin would like to know that too!!
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CALL THE F.B.I.!! The Sciencreeptologists are building a snow fort outside my house !!!
Detoxing is such a load of crap.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zI-wXEdOwDc
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires."
- Susan B. Anthony
Fuck I love Oreo Cakesters... and yes they deserve to be capitalized.
I have enjoyed root canals more than her "acting".
"Come, Watson! There's fuckery afoot!."
Lisa Marie... I could not say it better myself! Despise, dead, fly, burry, grave, and shit all come to my mind when I think of this pretentious bitch!
I despise this fuck too MK, if she drops dead before us we should fly together to wherever she's buried and shit on her grave.
Voted Dlsted is right behing ONTD. The voting have to be stepped up. I have two computers so...
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She is the one who said Americans are not as "sophisitcated" as Londoners, to a British rag.
The corn oil/ sauna diet sounds like scientology to me. it couldn't happen to a more deserving human being. Maybe she should beard for Tom Cruise instead of Kool Aid Katie.
I haven't liked this chick since she bearded for Ben Affleck/Matt Damon.
Most annoying biatch in Hollywood! Oh no! London, sorry Gwynnie!
Cath Blanchett got robbed! Fishsticks can't act. Widening your eyes is not acting... What a travesty that she won.
You could not be more pretentious if you tried! Can't wait til her marriage fails.
Ugghhhh! I hate her. She gets under my skin!
hey Gwynith take a hit of this!
I voted!!D-Listed of course! :)
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HAL: "Look, Dave, I can see you're really upset about this"
Submitted by Lovers Keep On ... on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 2:22pm.
Can she and Chris Martin get divorced already?!?!? I seriously doesn't know how he does it. He is a fucking saint!
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He's always on tour. Its easy to stay married that way. I hate when coples with children break up. I feel so bad for the children because it's not easy adjusting to a parent's new mate but I can't imagine she's easy to live with.
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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I dun voted!
:)
She is why I don't go to Lainey gossip.
But to be honest I was mad the year she won an Oscar for best actress. Just not right. Cate should of won that year for Elizabeth. Oh well.
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Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Wed, 01/07/2009 -
VOTE FOR MK
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-gossip-blog/
OT; but everybody needs to vote in this, I just voted and MK is in second place and we all know there ain't NOBODY out there better than MK. VOTE!!!!!
Oh my fucking GOD I hate her, that uber pretentious, materialistic, whackjob psychopathic Martha Stewart on meth BITCH!
I just peeped one of her ~I don't eat no *red* meat~ recipes. Can someone get food poisoning from a fucking recipe? because I'm feel nauseated already.
"1 lb of ground turkey (light and dark or just dark) at room temperature..."
Raw chicken @ room temperature? I'll skip that course.
What temperature do you reckon it is in Paltrow's air conditioned environment? Room temperature in my house right now? Around 95 degrees... Turkey Ragu anyone?
she's married to a gay dude and she doesn't know it. that's more important then mid century doody seats.
i feel so energized now!!!
Sorry, Michael K, but when it comes to Gwynnie, I must digress. I subscribe to GOOP and find it kinda enjoyable. I think she's cool in many ways. No, her posh upbringing means she'll never relate to you and me the way she should -- but there's something inheritently (spelling?) likable about her...and I love her movies. Even the bad ones.
She can feel sorry for me all she wants, I won't pay to see her movies.
Submitted by KidL on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 2:53pm.
Is she still going to maintain the facade of her perfect life after she and ol' Fugface Martin announce their seperation?
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yes. this is the pre-book deal set up. she's just gathering a fan base. $10 says she's in a meeting with cookie magazine right now trying to pimp her and her kids out.
le blog
I couldn't get through that GOOP site without drool forming at the corner of my mouth and my head repeatedly hitting my keyboard. zzzzzzzzzzzzz
As boring as her. WE DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR LIFE.
I do however enjoy disliking you and find it fills a nice void.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
I couldn't get through that GOOP site without drool forming at the corner of my mouth and my head repeatedly hitting my keyboard. zzzzzzzzzzzzz
As boring as her. WE DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR LIFE.
I do however enjoy disliking you and find it fills a nice void.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
I think that calling people assholes, cunts, whores, fucks and the like is more detoxing than gooping.
Wow! I can't believe how buoyant and free I feel now.
No wonder her marriage is on the rocks. Who wants to listen to her boring, pretentious, babble?
boring
Is she still going to maintain the facade of her perfect life after she and ol' Fugface Martin announce their seperation?
Here in England our locla food channel is running a series Spain..on the Road again. Fishy is in it along with Mario Batali some obnoxious writer and a lovely spanish lady. Mario and Gwynie are always paring up and making moon eyes at each other. Everytime Fishy eats a piece of food she gets a constipated look on her face. Mario, on the other hand looks like a wolly mammoth wearing orange crocs, ready to devour anything in site.
Fishy really shows herself to be an clueless spoiled bitch from LA with as much personality as a bidet.
Submitted by camoger on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 2:41pm.
So I guess I'm the only person who watches "Spain: On the Road Again"? She seems pretty cool and normal to me.
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She didn't really bother me too much before seeing the show but after i did that quickly changed. Have you noticed that she answers every question with one of two worded answers and uses the asfixiate instead of simply saying i can't breathe? Nothing is worse than someone who acts pretentious because they dont know shit about shit. Needless to say i love me some fishing now!
"I don't go to your job and knock the dicks out of your mouth!"
- Kathy Griffin
this is why the spring semester needs to start again.
this morning i woke up and actually sat down with my laptop TO look at her website. someone please look at her "fashion tips" along with me so i'm not the only one laughing.
she is a mess. a hot mess at that.
le blog
What does GOOP stand for again? That site is really weird. I thought it was going to be all about tree hugging and stuff, but no.
STFU...are you serious? Unfortunatly, it seems you are...
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the end...
Submitted by TITS on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 2:33pm.
Why do you have a pic of MK's A-hole as your avie?
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by TITS on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 2:33pm.
I used to feel the same way about Goldie too. Then I heard stories about her visiting her childhood home here in DC. She'd climb thru a window and go thru the house whether the current owners were there or not and never left a note or anything. The current owners would find out about it from their neighbors. Not cool.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41APzy5kqBU
on topic my job interview went well, I don't have enough experience for him, but he said he has a lot of peeps looking for good workers and he's going to pass them my shit.
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Child? Fucking grown-man poo. Your anus will be in grown-man shambles.
So I guess I'm the only person who watches "Spain: On the Road Again"? She seems pretty cool and normal to me.
MK, take some deep breaths! We read her bullshit right along with you.
That being said, I want a mid-century bathroom sink with a contemporary feel.
I gotta hit that bitch up.
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Sara M.
ERRR!I want to kick her pretentious ass! No wonder she is BFF with Vadge.
Self important cunt and now I'm craving fried fish and tartar sauce, god dammit.
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Child? Fucking grown-man poo. Your anus will be in grown-man shambles.
this bitch can suck my asshole
LOL @ the sprinkling of pretentious butt nuggs.
I really don't care about this twat or her fug ass hubby and their over-privileged life together.
What pisses me off the most is that "Sliding Doors" is one of those movies that I adore, don't know why. I can watch any time, I just have to ignore the fact that fishy is the main character. *grrrr*
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
Submitted by redpoint_blackdot on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 2:32pm.
LOL! i can't tell. never been at fishy's!
Sweet Baby Jesus, that is one pretentious bitch.
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Heath Ledger
4/4/79 - 1/22/08