The Original MiserAlba
Now we finally know where MiserAlba got her beautiful bitchface from. She got it from her moms! Yeah, I too thought this was Kathy Griffin in a remake of Shallow Hal, but it's just MiserAlba's mama je'e.
You know, I think I might have a bitch crush on Catherine Alba. I mean, she's a ginge, albeit a fake ass one, and she's mastered the total cuntface. I'm also getting a little bit of "Jeana from The Real Housewives of Orange County" flavor from her. And who doesn't love Jeana?
I hope Catherine crop dusted MiserAlba after she said this shit about her mom last year, "Everyone in my family is heavily overweight I wanted to be healthier, so I started cooking for myself when I was 12 years old."
Heavily overweight?! What an asshole! That's big and beautiful to her! I guess MiserAlba is a bigger bitch than her mom. Well, she was given the tools and she did it better.
Here's Big MiserAlba and Lil' MiserAlba doing stuff yesterday. And also Lil' MiserAlba with new hair today. It's nice to see that her new haircut didn't fuck with her precious bitchface.
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Submitted by Statler and Waldorf on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 11:11pm.
And does it really require an entire book to cover the comedy stylings of Perez? His funny material couldn't fill a fortune cookie.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Ah, a Unichin! Rare but highly sought after in a pig, particularly the red haired species of the big belly pig! Congradulations to the photograph for capturing one of natures rare animals. The only improvement would have been to wait a little longer and capture a better camel toe to go with the Unichin. An extremely rare daily double!
Uh, I won't even comment on Mrs. Miseralba...
My question is why is that douche Perez Hilton's book advertised on the side of DListed? Take it down, MK!!!
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:57pm.
I'm pretty sure that her mom's gut is currently holding more groceries than the average 26 cubic foot side by side.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Yeah, like that pic would fit on the fridge. More likely taped to the side of a FritoLay truck.
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oh god not fritos again!
I'd love MK to do a poll asking who smelt their pets paws today.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip": Ignatius J. Reilly.
The graceful curves and quiet beauty of Mrs. Alba's cheeks bring a tear to my eye. She is a stunning woman, and seems to be full of character. I bet she's a vicarious sort, seizing each and every day and making the most of it. I think we can all learn something from Mrs. Alba, who on top of it all has managed to raise a lovely daughter. Jessica Alba is sublimely beautiful - the stuff angels are made of. This perky and talented young lady is really headed straight for the top, and she has her sensible, level-headed mother to thank for that. Geez, brains, beauty, AND balls?! What an amazing family!
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“I like it, ... but it's yellow, and I'm like, I didn't want yellow for my engagement ring.” ~Paris Hilton
Submitted by James Haven on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:34pm.
Mama Miser reminds James Haven of Wynona Judd or a Strawberry Milkshake. It's a close race.
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a big angry strawberry.
ooh deja vu!
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"When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip": Ignatius J. Reilly.
Submitted by Charles Manson on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:35pm.
WELL SHE IS ALMOST AS BAD AS THAT FUCKING PORKEY PIG OKRAH, I MEAN ORCA, OR I MEAN CHICKEN OF THE GODDAMN FUCKING SEA. OH FUCK, WHERE IS ORCA WHEN I NEED HER. A COOL FUCKING SPRAY BATH COMING OUT OF HER MOTHERFUCKING HOLE DRIZZLING ME WITH HER EVERLOVING CHICKING FAT SPRAY AND COOL MASHED POTATOTES AND GRAVY FUCKING GOODNESS.
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Do I even need to tell you whores why I'm in love all over again....
*ahem*...
Loving you, loving you ain't easy
But I don't mind if I can stay here by your side
Every lonely road you walk along
I'll be there too
Just say the word love
And I would follow you
Every lonely road you walk along
I'd walk along with you
If only you would show me that you care....
What? That's romantical shit right there...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I swear if this lady had a mole on her chin with a hair growing out of it she would be the EXACT replica of my cousin.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:45pm.
Yeah, like that pic would fit on the fridge. More likely taped to the side of a FritoLay truck
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I was trying to say something nice...lol
Then again, the fridge was resturant size. It was HUGE!!! I'm talking HUGE.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Ah, someone old is back - the new, improved version....I think I'll go back to counting guys who have fucked Paris.
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"Some people are just bad at taking drugs.”
- Lily Allen
What? I hate this fucking ho and her disgusting skank daughter, and wish them only death and misery. I hope they are in a car wreck which tears their bodies apart. I hope to be there, watching quietly by the roadside while I sit in my teal-and-fuchsia woven-vinyl lawn chair, sipping Countrytime lemondade and listening to my favorite Emmylou Harris CD.
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“I like it, ... but it's yellow, and I'm like, I didn't want yellow for my engagement ring.” ~Paris Hilton
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:41pm.
You know Miserabla has a fucking pic of Mommy Dearest Alba taped on her fridge to remind her..."I'll NEVER look like her. As a matter of fact, I don't even know her."
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Yeah, like that pic would fit on the fridge. More likely taped to the side of a FritoLay truck.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Pussy.Broth on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:36pm.
Some things are better left unsaid.
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Jessica Alba might as well have come out and said "My family's fat so I stopped eating when I was 12 so everyone else would love me. The only thing I'm famous for is my body anyway!"
Sad.
Submitted by Pussy.Broth on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:36pm.
What happened to Vagina.Sauce? Trying to class it up a bit?
You know Miserabla has a fucking pic of Mommy Dearest Alba taped on her fridge to remind her..."I'll NEVER look like her. As a matter of fact, I don't even know her."
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
I think Jessica is that shallow! LOL! No doubt... And those white sunglasses look retarded on her or she looks retarded wearing them. U-G-L-Y!
Charles Manson did a drive-by and i missed it. Damn.
Submitted by Rosemary: "And she didn't want to be "healthier" she wanted to be "hotter". Just say what you mean."
Yeah, you called it.
This sick, sad Latina fuckpig cunt bitch needs her throat cut open in front of her children. What an ugly fucking cum dump whore, with the shittiest neon orange Kool-Aid dye job I've ever seen in my entire life. She makes me want to drink drain cleaner, she disgusts me so fucking much. She should be torn limb from limb, her limbs used to rape Jessica, tearing her vaginal and anal tissues to ribbons. I hope to be there when that happens, happily drinking the salty tears of her unholy agony.
♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♥♥♥♥♥♥☞ ✈††
“I like it, ... but it's yellow, and I'm like, I didn't want yellow for my engagement ring.” ~Paris Hilton
WELL SHE IS ALMOST AS BAD AS THAT FUCKING PORKEY PIG OKRAH, I MEAN ORCA, OR I MEAN CHICKEN OF THE GODDAMN FUCKING SEA. OH FUCK, WHERE IS ORCA WHEN I NEED HER. A COOL FUCKING SPRAY BATH COMING OUT OF HER MOTHERFUCKING HOLE DRIZZLING ME WITH HER EVERLOVING CHICKING FAT SPRAY AND COOL MASHED POTATOTES AND GRAVY FUCKING GOODNESS.
Both of these ugly, dumb twats should move back to Mexico, where they belong. Get out!
Mama Miser reminds James Haven of Wynona Judd or a Strawberry Milkshake. It's a close race.
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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And she didn't want to be "healthier" she wanted to be "hotter". Just say what you mean.
Submitted by Brittny on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:26pm.
WHOOOA Charles Manson..what the f are u talkin about?
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BRITTNY, CHARLES MANSON FUCKING TALKS ABOUT WHATEVER THE FUCK HE GODDAMN WANTS TO TALK ABOUT. AS LONG AS YOU DON'T HAVE A FUCKING COMPUTER IN YOUR FUCKED UP BEDROOM, YOU'LL BE FUCKING ALRIGHT, OK?
Sorry, Charles is infectious. :)
The "heavily" part does make her sound like a huge bitch.
Submitted by Charles Manson on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:20pm.
You make alot of sense Charlie. You seem to have wisdom of a Yogi.
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by Brittny on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:26pm.
WHOOOA Charles Manson..what the f are u talkin about?
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My Cholly never have to 'splain himself...OKKKAAAAY????
;-p
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I'd hit both
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:24pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:24pm.
Not suicide attempts.
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O no! THAT's not what I meant! Oopsie!
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@IG:
I will let you guess which one *I* thought it was:)
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WHOOOA Charles Manson..what the f are u talkin about?
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Gerard, Jude, Robert Pattinson. Rowr.
Your heart is my pinata
Submitted by jussayin on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:21pm.
my mama would have never embarrassed me by taking her fat ass out in public!
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LOL! Mine would! I have these pictures...but I'm never sure whether to show them to people. Cuz - you know - my mom's kinda nuts and so...well, she kinda looks it...LOL. And I don't WANT to be embarrassed about it but it's that awkward silence when I do show people...*wince*...
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Mrs. Alba is in deseperate need of a makeover and a hunky trainer named Claude.
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:24pm.
Not suicide attempts. Danger is fun.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
angel_i, I just realized that DP also stands for double penetration. Or donkey punch. Gwad, I need to step away from the Dlisted, I are corrupted!! :)
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:22pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:20pm.
I didn't TRY anything.
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Waddyamean! You said you went jumping off of things and drinking 5 times your body weight while swimming and teasing mountain lions and shit - you said so!
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It'll be great on that day that Miseralba thinks she's escaped the dreaded fatty mom life and then something aggravates that thyroid. She'll be thinking twice about dissing her family then.
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Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:20pm.
I didn't TRY anything.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
my mama would have never embarrassed me by taking her fat ass out in public!
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"Hasta la bye bye!"
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:21pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:14pm.
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:10pm.
Jaysus, I hate when I do the DP's.
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I totally misunderstood that.
I'm such a ho. *sigh*
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No, it's understandable that our minds automatically went to the DT's.
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Um...no. That's not what I thought of?
How many people are suprised that Wynona Judd is Mieralba's mommy? I counted three so far!
PS. TV died three times. And then he tried to kill himself by doing a bunch of stoopit things and then he got stung by a bee and he died again!
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OH FUCK NO. FLIPPING ON THE GODDAMN TV NOW AND SEEING ALL THESE MOTHERFUCKING HOS. OH HELL NO. AND HAVING A GODDAMN COMPUTER IN YOUR KIDS ROOMS. OH FUCK NO. IF MY KIDS WHERE STILL AT HOME THERE IS NO WAY IN FUCKING GODDAMN HELL THEY WOULD HAVE A COMPUTER ANY FUCKING NEAR THEIR BEDROOMS AND ONLY IN THE FUCKING GODDAMN LIVING ROOM WITH COMPLETE PARENTAL SUPERVISION AND ASSOCIATED FUCKING LOCKS. WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER THE ONLY THING WE FUCKING GODDAMN HAD WAS ONE ROTARY PHONE HARDWIRED TO THE KITCHEN WALL. IF YOU WANTED TO GODDAMN CALL SOMEBODY YOU FUCKING DID IT FROM HOME OR STOPPED ON THE GODDAMN FUCKING ROAD AND DROPPED A DIME TO CALL UP THEIR SORRY ASSES. IF YOUR DONT ANSWER, YOUR ASS IS ROLLING ON. NO WAITING ON NOBODY. WHAT A GREAT GODDAMN FUCKING CONCEPT.
Some people laugh but i'm a big believer in genetics playing a big part in what people weigh. I think even if jessica didn't cook for herself, she would still be small. Someone along the lines of her family was small I think and she got those genes. Just my opinion. Everything looks small on her naturally to me. But, I know food does play some part, but I don't believe it's as big a part as others do. Oh and of course if your hormones are out of whack, that plays a part too.
You kidding me? Who would be embarrassed to be seen with this woman if tha t was their mom? Not me. She's an overweight woman, nothing wrong with her . You think jessica is embarrassed to be seen with her mother just because she's overweight? I should hope she's not that shallow.
eeep! i thought this jabba the hut was wynonna judd...i'm betting there's some chola eyebrows under those shades...
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certified in knocking dicks outta mouths...
Submitted by Sheeps on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:02pm.
Thanks.
P.S. Steve rules.
P.S.S. Original MiserAlba might wanna take up country singing.
Submitted by DeeDee on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:59pm.
I'll be first in line for that musical Tigerlilly! You have a gift you hwat kitty cat!
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Not as much as a gift as that sugar mommies bitch, I mean:
the best and most effective online dating for sugar mommies and sugar babies in the world.
Casual dating, sex relationships and discreet encounters are just some of the things you will find in the best upscale personals site.
^^^^^^^^^
That's pure magic and poetry right there. If that doesn't get you to that site, I don't know what else will....SEXAY HWAT! Sugar babies? Barf!!!!!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Suddenly I feel very sorry for Cash Warren, she has that Papa Simpson affect about her.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
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My kid got crop dusted at Target the other day, except, he called them out like only a 3 year old can...Mama, wow someone farted and it STINKS!!!!
She means she started taking puking seriously at age 12....But then, gawd, I have to admit, I would too.
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Love,
Mabel
How little we understand what touches off that tingle,
That sudden explosion when two tingles intermingle. --Mrs. Kravitz