The Original MiserAlba
Now we finally know where MiserAlba got her beautiful bitchface from. She got it from her moms! Yeah, I too thought this was Kathy Griffin in a remake of Shallow Hal, but it's just MiserAlba's mama je'e.
You know, I think I might have a bitch crush on Catherine Alba. I mean, she's a ginge, albeit a fake ass one, and she's mastered the total cuntface. I'm also getting a little bit of "Jeana from The Real Housewives of Orange County" flavor from her. And who doesn't love Jeana?
I hope Catherine crop dusted MiserAlba after she said this shit about her mom last year, "Everyone in my family is heavily overweight I wanted to be healthier, so I started cooking for myself when I was 12 years old."
Heavily overweight?! What an asshole! That's big and beautiful to her! I guess MiserAlba is a bigger bitch than her mom. Well, she was given the tools and she did it better.
Here's Big MiserAlba and Lil' MiserAlba doing stuff yesterday. And also Lil' MiserAlba with new hair today. It's nice to see that her new haircut didn't fuck with her precious bitchface.
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Submitted by Sluttsville on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:02pm.
Maybe if you relaxed a little instead of trying to suck a bowling ball through a straw.
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Don't be such a Sports Elitist. It was a basketball through a hose! Gah.
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:59pm.
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hahahahaha, you are like the Candy Man, just say "oral sex" 3 times and you come running into a room.
Momma Alba should put your ginge meter into overdrive.
Submitted by zomay on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:59pm.
Wait, we all probably had hellish childhoods. I was in a coma, cracked my head open, broke my arm 4 times, got beat a few times, broke my foot, had lice once, cut my thigh open, moved to 6 different cities, tried to run away, etc etc. And yet I loved my childhood! Go figure.
My parents *sobbing* once reprimanded me for... for no good reason.
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:01pm.
Angel, I knew she would be the hwat schniz with a simple Chola makeover...See, now everyone lurves her? Word to the wise ladies, when you're feelin' like a Debbie Downer, just ask Angel to Chola you up!
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I work on commission! Just tell me what you want! Only thing is - is I get to put it in my HWAT new chola vid! Sursly, guys, THIS shit is funny.
I just need more pics so throw ideas at me whenever...
PS. the Pope is NOT, I repeat NOT going in that vid. I got enuff redneck backlash for making Lindsay fat, thank you very much.
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Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:59pm.
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Fuckin Czechoslovakians. I shoulda' had a Dane! *pops head*
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Submitted by zomay on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:59pm.
Wait, we all probably had hellish childhoods. I was in a coma, cracked my head open, broke my arm 4 times, got beat a few times, broke my foot, had lice once, cut my thigh open, moved to 6 different cities, tried to run away, etc etc. And yet I loved my childhood! Go figure.
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Pssht...That's nothing...I suffered a hangnail, several paper cuts, and a really bad haircut when I was a kid...*breaking down, sobbing*...No, I'm Ok, I'm Ok....I just need a moment....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I feel like the Cowardly Lion up in here.
But I'll fucking bite chu. Chu no?
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Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:57pm.
I suffered several ruptured eardrums and a hymen and it never worked for me.
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Maybe if you relaxed a little instead of trying to suck a bowling ball through a straw.
Angel, I knew she would be the hwat schniz with a simple Chola makeover...See, now everyone lurves her? Word to the wise ladies, when you're feelin' like a Debbie Downer, just ask Angel to Chola you up! Better than a 9inch schlong on a steamy Sunday afternoon!
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:55pm.
Big, fat mamas (and I mean that in the warmest way) give the best love. Like - her mom's the exact right size for that. Wait a second. I'm not about to get all big like that to prove it but...well, they have good baking! I can't bake for shit, I'll give you that. I betcha I'd be a lot bigger if I could;p
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So, true! My mama was a skinny bitch and she was like cuddling an icecube only colder...and skinnier...I too am a skinny ho, and opted not to have no chiluns to chill...FAT MOMS RULE!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Oops.
Wait, we all probably had hellish childhoods. I was in a coma, cracked my head open, broke my arm 4 times, got beat a few times, broke my foot, had lice once, cut my thigh open, moved to 6 different cities, tried to run away, etc etc. And yet I loved my childhood! Go figure.
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That's right McKracky you've been reported.
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:57pm.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:50pm.
Hmmmmm, collapsed lungs, ruptured appendix, and a tonsillar cyst....I wonder if she ever thought about sucking on smaller peen?
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I suffered several ruptured eardrums and a hymen and it never worked for me.
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Somebody's aim is off. *adjusts halo*
About the thyroid thing...is that why Shitney has such a wide assed neck?! :P
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2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
Submitted by Sluttsville on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:50pm.
Hmmmmm, collapsed lungs, ruptured appendix, and a tonsillar cyst....I wonder if she ever thought about sucking on smaller peen?
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I suffered several ruptured eardrums and a hymen and it never worked for me.
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Angel I love your cholatized fat mom!!!!! =)) You are funny as fuck honey!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
Submitted by Pauly Shore on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:54pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:49pm.
HOOOookay....but you're just gonna cuddle, right?
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Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees no. Not at all.
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Ok, then: no. You promised.
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Big, fat mamas (and I mean that in the warmest way) give the best love. Like - her mom's the exact right size for that. Wait a second. I'm not about to get all big like that to prove it but...well, they have good baking! I can't bake for shit, I'll give you that. I betcha I'd be a lot bigger if I could;p
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Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:49pm.
HOOOookay....but you're just gonna cuddle, right?
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Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees no. Not at all.
Submitted by carefreea on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:46pm.
"Alba's early life was marked by a multitude of physical maladies; she suffered collapsed lungs twice, had pneumonia 4-5 times a year, a ruptured appendix, and a tonsillar cyst"
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OH fucking christ on a saltine cracker, if anyone here where to enumerate all the maladies suffered through childhood they'd have build shrines and make them famous too. Why do people (the tabs) act like all this stuff makes these celebs more special than anyone else??
Did she fall on her face three times from a cliff? did she? OK no, so no sympathy form me.
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Wendy? Darling? LIGHT OF MY LIFE.
ow.
Submitted by mike on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 7:22pm.
I wasn't being mean. I was implying that a lot of douchey non-famous people WOULD be embarrassed to be seen with their mothers if they looked like Mrs. Alba. If you care about the person, you should never find their looks embarrassing.
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Fair enough :) Smokin' Obama says "sometimes it's hard to interpret things clearly on the net."
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"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. " -- H.I. McDunnough
Submitted by carefreea on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:46pm.
"Alba's early life was marked by a multitude of physical maladies; she suffered collapsed lungs twice, had pneumonia 4-5 times a year, a ruptured appendix, and a tonsillar cyst
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Hmmmmm, collapsed lungs, ruptured appendix, and a tonsillar cyst....I wonder if she ever thought about sucking on smaller peen?
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 7:58pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 7:50pm.
Question: why come some fat chick's necks get so fat they sort of blend into they chin? I don't get that. Is that some sort of thyroid thing?
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As a matter of fact. My mom also developed a goiter...
It has a lot to do with sugar, actually. If you have thyroid issues you should really watch your sugar. And some other stuff too...
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Thankyou! I have always been bothered by that. So, it's a goiter as a result of thyroid issues? See, I knew there had to be some sort of explanation cuz I don't see how one's neck gets that big when you are just fat, overweight and not hugely obese...
Yeah, and that dumb whore Jessica needs to be taken out in the back of the shed and severely beaten for disrespecting her mama that way. You don't call yo' mama fat...Aw, hells naw..."full figured", "curvy", "fluffy", "full of love and cupcakes" yes! Fat? No. That fat whore gained all that weight giving birth to you uppity ass, bitch! Oh, you know that lil Alba whore was a greedy fetus..."feed me...feed me..." I'll bet Miserabla Sr. was like 120 lbs before she got pregnant with that bitch daughter of hers. Bitch was so fuckin' needy she blew out her mother's thyroid! Then, Miserable Jr. turned into the most high maintenance bitch baby ever..."Ewwww...I'm so not eating that! *rolling baby eyes*...Why don't you eat it? You eat everything else in this house..."
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Pauly Shore on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:42pm.
angel_i, can I borrow your avatar and find a dark corner for myself and that beautiful wonder?
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HOOOookay....but you're just gonna cuddle, right?
♥ ThreadKilla!
Five Famous People I Would Invite To Dinner
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Nitty, that's true. But I smile a lot more. Plus I'm more loveable, right? RIGHT?? :o)
DeeDee, I do think that I see her Boudin Balls hanging in that one pic.
angel_i: Cholly Moley! I dig your avvie.
"Alba's early life was marked by a multitude of physical maladies; she suffered collapsed lungs twice, had pneumonia 4-5 times a year, a ruptured appendix, and a tonsillar cyst"
As awful an actress she is, that's pretty harsh for a girl growing up.
Submitted by gyeah on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:44pm.
LMAO! Mama Cass!
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:40pm.
Submitted by zomay on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:38pm.
Her mother is of Danish and French Canadian descent
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And look where that got you! Now you know why Alba feels so blessed, right? She got fame and fortune and you got Houston. Gotta' love the comparison.
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
I thought that was the larger of the Judds at first.
Mama Cass came back from the dead? And is Miserable's mom??? wow she looks good. ::thumbs up:::
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Wendy? Darling? LIGHT OF MY LIFE.
ow.
@TITS:
I thought the same thing about saving them.
I only have one pair:(
♥ ThreadKilla!
Five Famous People I Would Invite To Dinner
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angel_i, can I borrow your avatar and find a dark corner for myself and that beautiful wonder?
TIGER LILLY MY GODDAMN FUCKING ONE. I AM COMING OUT TO INDIA TO FIND YOUR ASS SO WE CAN HAVE A GODDAMN FUCKING LITTER OF THE FINEST FUCKING TIGERS YOU CAN IMAGINE.
Submitted by zomay on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:38pm.
Her mother is of Danish and French Canadian descent.
It looks like she ate a lot of Danish.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:36pm.
Two words Slutty: Boudin Balls and heavy on the Schwetty.
Wow. Y thank u, beeches. She gotta chola face already, nawmsayin'?
Submitted by Sluttsville on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:34pm.
I had no idea that Wynonna Judd was Jessica Alba's mother.
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LOL! For reals.
Who knew French Canadian and Danish = Chola Hillbilly. Ha!
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Five Famous People I Would Invite To Dinner
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islandgirl :) Always wanted see Montreal.
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That's right McKracky you've been reported.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:36pm.
Just scribbling a reminder to never accept a dinner invitation from you.
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Oh, don't even act like you were the one who acknowledged our West Virginian family resemblence! Okay, so your family is all about the mini-bottles, mine just got smart and started stashing the booze in the cleaning bottles since they knew no one would ever go near them.
Jessica's mom is from Cali. and that's one of the first rules upon moving there for a mother! Trust me!
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Submitted by zomay on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:38pm.
Her mother is of Danish and French Canadian descent.
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Oh crap. My hub is Danish and I was born in Montreal. Does that mean my neck is going to disappear too?
Love your avie, by the way.
Her mother is of Danish and French Canadian descent.
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That's right McKracky you've been reported.
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:23pm
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Just scribbling a reminder to never accept a dinner invitation from you.
aww i hope her mother isn't any indication of how Jessica will end up...
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Submitted by DeeDee on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:32pm.
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You either...LOL
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
I had no idea that Wynonna Judd was Jessica Alba's mother.
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:30pm.
Nitty, I bow down to your imagination. HAAAHAHA!!
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Imagination? Don't act like you haven't eaten at my house before...hahahahhahaha
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
The pickings are slim when the ladies start fighting over Charlie Manson and all caps Jim. I need to find a way to enlist more men into the dlisted army.
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That's right McKracky you've been reported.
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:23pm.
LMFAO!
Nitty, I bow down to your imagination. HAAAHAHA!!
And Tigerlily, I'm just giving Cholly his props. I could never compete with you and your six teats. :)
Excuse her beauty! You know people are always mistaking her for Wynonna Judd, and then the Latina fire shoots out of Big Miseralba's eyes and boy are those gringos sorry!
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