Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess
Which reality star announced in the middle of a business lunch, “Whoops, just got my period!” — and then kept eating as if nothing had happened? (Gatecrasher)
Spencer Pratt? Obviously.
Which pothead actor is seeking refuge for harder drugs in a NYC rehab center? The toker couldn’t quite kick the nose-candy habit. (Gatecrasher)
Mercury poison victim Jeremy Piven?
Which celebrity pastor - who is pals with several noted dignitaries - better start praying that his hypocrisy isn’t exposed? Like many religious conservatives, he loves to preach about family values and he has spoken out against same-sex marriage. Meanwhile, behind his own family’s mega-mansion is a guest house where our preacher cozies up with his own special male companion. (BlindGossip)
OMG. Please let it be Joel Osteen! Please! I want his wife to have another mega meltdown!
Which paunchy Hollywood star, with a taste for eastern European hookers, makes his poor overworked PA book him different girls every day of the week during trips abroad? (3am Girls)
Rosie O'Donnell. Seriously, Jack Nicholson?
Which star athlete is having an affair with one of his teammates? In the macho world of sports, homosexuality is rarely discussed. However, these two teammates - one much more high profile than the other - have been practically joined at the hip for the past several months. Both are married, and both of their wives are in for a nasty shock if they find out. Team managment does know, and is seriously considering trading the lesser player to prevent a full-blown public scandal that might diminish their star’s reputation and ticket sales. (Blind Gossip)
This is a good one, but I don't know bitches in sports at all. Maybe Becks, but I never got the "I like peen" vibe from him.
Image Source (Thanks Joyce)
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letinstar - I hate to break it to you but they actually have come up with a way to stop people having periods altogether, its called the contraceptive pill. The bleeding that you get when you're on the pill is not a real period, the womb isn't producing any eggs so there is no build up of the lining of the womb inside it to accommodate them. When the pill came on to the market women didn't get a period at all but because they were freaked out by it as they thought they could be pregnant, scientists did something with it to create an artficial bleed. Truefax! I know, fucking annoying huh? I want to campaign for them to change it back!
letinstar, do shiny faces always mean that these men love cock? because if so, i think Ronaldo's sexual persuasions need some investigating...
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
Mrs. Gosling (excuse me if I am doing this wrong, this response thing)
It says on the box or whatever that you can fuck on it without making a mess. I guess it is supposed to really hold it up in there. I guess it just sits up there marinating your cervix or something.
Submitted by Charles Manson on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 5:24pm.
HOW THE HELL DOES A WOMAN SECURE THAT KIND OF GODDAMN FUCKING APPARATUS TO HER FUCKING VAGINA. SURELY THERE MUST BE FUCKING STRAPS OR GODDAMN SOMETHING INCLUDED.
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Leave it to Chuck to be so succinct.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
ew that fermented blood crap made me want to hurl, i already get nastified by tampons enough. i used pads for about 3-4 months when i first got my period @ 12 and realized they were too hella nast for me to go on using. I had friends who used them beyond 12 because they thought they would no longer be virgins if they used tampons...either that or they would "get lost" in there.
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
Sex doesn't matter. It stays in place because of the suction. No tipping, no spillage & guys have no idea. That was the best part about insteads. If they figured out a way to make so a girl ISN'T pulling out a big cup of period blood from her whoo hoo with her bare fingers, it would've been the greatest invention ever.
do they make diva cups with wings? i just wish they would invent something to make periods go away WITHOUT fucking with your hormones...
as for the celebrity pastor, my guess is that freak obama picked to do the prayer at the inaguration, although joel osteen does have the shiny "i love me some cock" face every time i see him...
no clue about the other items...
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certified in knocking dicks outta mouths...
Submitted by DeeDee on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 6:26pm.
What if someone can't afford the Diva Cup? Can they use a Dixie Cup instead?
You make like the "urinals" on the public buses in the Andes: Ziplock bags.
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Send me a picture and I will let you know if I believe you are cute enough for free oral. I will not go down on anyone who is on the rag unless we are dating. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Submitted by luckycharms on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 6:22pm.
I hope you got him back! ;)
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
"Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 6:20pm.
IMO, The worst part of giving birth is not being able to use a tampon for the two weeks of bleeding after."
Wow, I must have not paid much attention in my "Women" classes in middle school, but are you fucking kidding me? You push a baby - that will most likely end up resenting you 18 years later - out of your vagina and you end up bleeding for two weeks straight afterward?
Oh, fuck that shit. Adoption it is.
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"Her voice sounds like a goat in heat..." - Balenciaga Bitch on Sarah Palin (10/6/08).
Um, what happens if you have sex upside down or something while it's in? Does the blood spill back inside you and then when you're upright again, the blood goes back into the cup? I don't really want to be mixing up any blood cocktails or anything.
Submitted by DeeDee on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 6:26pm.
What if someone can't afford the Diva Cup? Can they use a Dixie Cup instead?
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Bwahahaha, I was thinking about those little cups that they serve Cuban coffee in.
Hekki - Agreed. Not being able to keep that shit contained after birth pissed me the HELL off.
And WTF is with those hippo sized pads they give you? WTF?
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 6:20pm.
ITA. Before I dried up, I could not handle pads. Not only did you feel like you had a mattress between your legs, but I was grossed out feeling myself bleed.
Can you imagine being at someone's house and having to change the cup? You can't discreetly wrap one of those up in TP and put it in the waste basket. You can't flush it. You don't want to wash out your menses in someone else's bathroom sink.
It just sounds stupid.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
What if someone can't afford the Diva Cup? Can they use a Dixie Cup instead?
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 6:20pm.
oh dear. i've never used a tampon in my life. tried once when i was 14 - was stuck at a friends cottage and they only had 'large'.
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"When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip": Ignatius J. Reilly.
I am officially turned OFF of diva cups. 110%.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 6:06pm.
crying laughing.
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"When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip": Ignatius J. Reilly.
"Its just like we all love eating eggs but if someone said to us here eat this cow period we'd go ugh gross! Its just our conditioning."
If cow period came in a handy little shell container though...ew, kidding! But I grossed myself out.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 6:06pm.
HaHA! That's a good one!
Maybe Cameron Diaz is the stoner actor with the coke prob? Eh who cares.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
My husband loves coming up with new and innovative ways to embarass me at the grocery store. His last caper was waiting until the dairy aisle was jammed and seeing me at the far end, he held up a 12 pack of Angle Soft and said: Hey! Will this be enough for you for the week?
Babe I said you messed up my happy home, and made me mistreat my only child--Led Zeppelin
Period blood doesn't smell until it hits the air. So the cup is pretty similar to a tampon in that respect. Personally, I think the cup is grosser than a tampon, but not as gross as a pad.
IMO, The worst part of giving birth is not being able to use a tampon for the two weeks of bleeding after.
It's when oxygen hits the blood that it stinks. With these things, the blood never gets oxygen because it's jammed up too far. It was one of the selling points on the box I used to have.
Now I quit. I know way too much about nasty period blood cups.
Divacups have actually been around since the 60's, longer than tampons. They're name is actually moon cups and I actually recently looked into getting one as an alternative to tampons but not sure I fancy getting the thing in and out again. They are actually MUCH healthier for the vagina, much less likely to cause toxic shock syndrome as they don't absorb the lining of the womb as well as the blood like tampons do. I get something called BV a lot from using tampax and wearing tight-fitting jeans and I believe using a moon cup may prevent it. Plus it works out way more economical in the long-run, they only cost about £20 and in the UK if you don't like them you get your money back. We only think its gross because we're used to tampax. Its just like we all love eating eggs but if someone said to us here eat this cow period we'd go ugh gross! Its just our conditioning.
Do those Diva Cups come in 64oz big gulp size?
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Submitted by Sandbitch on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 6:12pm.
LOL! I would love to have seen your doll hospital! Now shove that Diva Cup back in! ;)
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
"Submitted by rotten_egg on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 6:14pm.
Just imagine the delicious smell the fermented blood must give out after 12 fucking hours of being inside the warm and enclosed vagina. I don't even want to know what the crazy pervs will do with one of these things.
A pad has to be changed every couple of hours, a tampon has to be changed every 4 hours max... I don't understand the logic of this piece of crap. Who in their right minds would want to have a cup of rotten bloody mary iside their vaginas for 12 damn hours?!. I'll pass on this shit invention.
Oh, I have no clue about the blind items."
This has to be the post of the day. Hands down.
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"Her voice sounds like a goat in heat..." - Balenciaga Bitch on Sarah Palin (10/6/08).
Any woman knows that while on the rag, no matter how clean you are, it smells.
My question...how fucking bad does this diva cup stank when you unsuction from your cervix after 12 fucking hours?
*gags at the thought*
Submitted by luckycharms: "What do you mean by "Christ-like Christians"? The "Christ" is already in Christian. That is super retarded."
Well, the Jesus Christ who preached the Gospel was a different kind of person than someone like, say, the Fred Phelps person who preaches the "Gospel". Jesus taught tolerance and love and forgiveness. He despised and exposed hypocrisy. Fred Phelps preaches intolerance and hatred. Two different kinds of Christians.
That's what I mean.
In reference to Team KFed's description on how to insert and remove:
" PLUG IT UP PLUG IT UP PLUG IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just imagine the delicious smell the fermented blood must give out after 12 fucking hours of being inside the warm and enclosed vagina. I don't even want to know what the crazy pervs will do with one of these things.
A pad has to be changed every couple of hours, a tampon has to be changed every 4 hours max... I don't understand the logic of this piece of crap. Who in their right minds would want to have a cup of rotten bloody mary iside their vaginas for 12 damn hours?!. I'll pass on this shit invention.
Oh, I have no clue about the blind items.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 6:06pm.
last year, had trouble with American Airlines when they fucked up the reservation. We were doing a lot of MySpace with the Night Crew beeches so i posted my mood as : "wants to kill everyone at AA"
later, i got an email from Sheeps asking me if i was talking about AA or American Airlines....
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www.va-holocaust.com.
Tolerance Through Education
Submitted by Deb on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 6:07pm.
When I was a little kid and first saw sanitary napkins at the grocery store, I embarrassed my poor mom by bellowing, "Hey Mom, let's get these napkins! They're sanitary.
===I laffed so hard my Diva Cup popped out.
Before I knew what they were, I found a packet and used them as stretchers in my dolls hospital. And I wore one as a face mask, I was the doctor.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 6:06pm
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bwahahahah!! omg, Team KFed, you and Deb are gonna end up killing me.
It'll be SO worth it, tho.
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www.va-holocaust.com.
Tolerance Through Education
And I guess it's not the done thing to share one's Diva Cup, not even with close friends. No no no...
Q: Psssst...are you using your Diva Cup right now?
A: Bleed on bitch.
When I was a little kid and first saw sanitary napkins at the grocery store, I embarrassed my poor mom by bellowing, "Hey Mom, let's get these napkins! They're sanitary."
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
When I was six I had a great admiration for my father's triple A car sticker.
So much so that at show and tell one day, I inform the class and teacher that my dad was in AA.
I also mentioned my classmate's father was in AA too.
They did let me live, however.
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Child? Fucking grown-man poo. Your anus will be in grown-man shambles.
One has to stick 2 fingers up their coochie to pull it out. It's very very awkward. I'll admit that they were cool to put in & wear because they LITERALLY plugged it up & there weren't any kinds of accidents or anything. But getting them out... it was very nasty & slightly panic inducing.
Team KFed, that's the bestest story I've heard in ages! Hahahhahah! Serves the douchebag right!
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 5:56pm.
You nailed it.
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Don't you just love public humiliation when it doesn't happen to you? It's truly what makes the world go round.--MK
Submitted by Deb on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 6:00pm.
Who's the stoner actor with the coke prob? All I can think of is Matthew McConaghey & Woodie Harrelson.
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those are good candidates. I would go with Harrelson. He looks pretty crazy.
Besides, i'm not sure if there's any room for doing coke at McConaghey's trailer with the baby and the girl.
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www.va-holocaust.com.
Tolerance Through Education
What do you mean by "Christ-like Christians"? The "Christ" is already in Christian. That is super retarded.
I can't quit you babe, so I guess I got to put you down for a while--Led Zeppelin
O.k now I kinda want to try it just to see how it really works lol
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You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you?
"Which reality star announced in the middle of a business lunch, “Whoops, just got my period!” — and then kept eating as if nothing had happened?"
This brings back memories.
When I was a kid, my Mom took herself and I to my brother's Boy Scout meeting... while I was sitting there, bored out of my mind, the scoutmaster asked, "Is there anything else anyone would like to discuss?" To which I replied, "Yes. MY MOM JUST GOT HER PERIOD!" Good times.
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"Her voice sounds like a goat in heat..." - Balenciaga Bitch on Sarah Palin (10/6/08).
Submitted by Team KFed on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 5:59pm.
lmao!!!!!
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You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you?
@ Mrs. G--
I clicked your link--thanks.
Two questions:
1. DivaCup, $25 ???
2. HOW do you clean it for its 10 year lifespan?
I pity the fool who tries to put that thang in my dishwasher.
Submitted by Mrs. Gosling on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 5:48pm.
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Don't you just love public humiliation when it doesn't happen to you? It's truly what makes the world go round.--MK
Submitted by Team KFed on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 5:59pm.
Awesome story!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Then we broke up & I laughed my face off telling him about it. He threw right up on my front door. It was awesome.
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post of the day.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip": Ignatius J. Reilly.
Submitted by paris herpes on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 5:40pm.
How does one put this Diva Cup in anyway? Do you just put it into your cooch the way it's shown on the box or what?
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I think suction is responsible for keeping it in. My question is how do you get it out?
The human body grosses me out a lot. I like to think of my insides as nothing more than skin covered foam with a hard core center.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip": Ignatius J. Reilly.
Yep, Farrah! Being old isn't too bad either!
Who's the stoner actor with the coke prob? All I can think of is Matthew McConaghey & Woodie Harrelson.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson